The Fault Next Door

Chapter 35

Ryder was surprised to see his father's truck in the driveway when he came home from work. He was glad Nolan was still at work and not in danger. The last thing he wanted was for his father to hurt his lover.

He stepped from his truck and stood with his arms crossed over his chest, not saying a word. His dad shuffled from one foot to the other. The silence stretched on, and Ryder was about to tell him to leave when his father started speaking.

"Your mother went to the doctor. Actually, we both did. They're worried about how much she is declining."

His heart twisted, but he wouldn’t go back to being abused by them. If they wanted a relationship with him, they would have to accept that he was with Nolan and treat them both decently.

“They are talking about putting her in a nursing home.”

Shock pulsed through him. Could his mom really be that bad?

“She’s been acting differently for a while. And I ignored it. That’s on me. I should have been watching her better.”

“I hope she gets the care she needs.”

His father nodded, and it seemed like he was going to turn to get into his truck. Instead, he lifted his chin and met Ryder's gaze. "I thought I could do it, keep a lid on everything, make it all work, but I was miserable, and I took it out on you. My father, when he found out, he beat me, and I wanted to save you from that."

The words hung between them for ten seconds or so, confusion filling Ryder. “So you beat me every day instead?”

“I didn’t want you to have the same affliction I did. But I guess it’s not an affliction. I blamed everyone and everything instead of accepting. Now I’m old and it’s too late.”

He narrowed his gaze, trying to figure out what his dad meant. "What are you saying?"

“Before your mother, back when I was younger, I had those same thoughts and stuff. My father found me in the barn and damn near killed us. The other boy, he left town. Never saw him again. I don’t know what happened to him. It took me a month to get over that beating.”

Heat washed over Ryder and he wondered if what his father was saying was true. “Did Mom know?”

His dad shook his head. “No. I never told her.” His father took a step closer and reached out, holding onto Ryder’s arm. “I’m sorry. I was a terrible father. I was wrong. I thought I could save you from being like me, but I didn’t. I don’t know if it’s hereditary or if it just happens, but I’m sorry.”

Ryder shook his head. "I'm not sorry I'm gay—actually bi. I love Nolan, and I'm happy. I loved Amy, and I never would have looked for a man if she was still alive. But I don't regret being with a man."

“I never should have laid a hand on you. It was wrong. And I hope one day you can forgive me. Your mother wants to see you before she gets too bad. I’m going to tell her tonight that I’m gay.”

“Do you really want to do that?” Ryder asked.

His dad shrugged. “She deserves to know why I wasn’t the best husband in the world. There’s a reason we only had one kid, and it wasn’t because either of us were shooting blanks. I didn’t like that part of marriage.”

“Maybe you should keep it to yourself. It may be better to just let her go without that knowledge.”

His father shrugged. “I don’t know what is best. I just feel the need to come clean.”

“But is it worth hurting her? You can tell her after she passes.”

His father sighed. “I guess you’re right. But I wanted you to know I won’t say anything bad about you and that guy being together. You made the right choice that I was always afraid to make.”

Ryder studied his father. “Did you ever get with another guy?”

His dad’s lips thinned. “It would be dishonorable for me to tell you.”

He had a feeling that his father had snuck away on his trips to Dallas or Houston and been with a man. He couldn’t imagine living that type of life, hiding the truth and sneaking around for so long. He was glad he’d found Nolan.

His father left, and Nolan pulled up about twenty minutes later. He headed out to Nolan's car and pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly.

“Hey, are you okay?” Nolan asked when he finally let go.

“Where to start. My dad came by and told me my mother is not doing well. You were right. Alzheimer’s is much worse than either of us could have guessed.”

“Oh no. I’m so sorry.”

“That’s not all. My dad told me that the reason he beat me so much as a child was because he feared I would be gay like him.”

Nolan blinked, then shook his head. "Wait, what? Your dad is gay?"

Ryder shrugged. "I guess so. He said he didn't want me to end up like him, so he beat me."

Nolan's lips thinned, and his eyes grew dark. "Shit. That's sick and wild. I don't like it."

"Yeah. But he said that he wouldn't say anything negative about you. He supports us."

Nolan blinked, and then his mouth hung open. "Are you serious?"

He nodded, happiness winding through him, leaving him feeling like bubbles were building in his chest. "Right, it's crazy, isn't it? I thought for sure my dad would be an ass about us. But now it's like he wants to accept that we're together. He told me I made the right decision to be with you."

Nolan shook his head like he couldn’t believe what Ryder was saying. He didn’t really believe it either. He guessed he would see how his father dealt with it all as time passed.

They ended up kissing like they meant it before they broke apart and headed inside. He was ready to show Nolan how he really felt. It was totally wild that his father accepted him. Even wilder that his father admitted to being gay. It sucked that his mom was having such a hard time with her mind failing her. He would do what he could to be nice to her without risking his sanity. She would be gone soon, and he knew he would regret not saying goodbye. At least he had Nolan to support him. He may not have much to give, and he might not be the best person to be in a gay relationship, but he was going to love Nolan like no one else could. They would have a good life, and he would make sure of it.