The Geography of Happiness (Mackenzie Country)

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Spencer

I grabbed Terry’s hands. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Tonight was for you.” Sweetheart?

“Not a chance.” He shook free of my grasp and stroked my cock through the denim of my jeans. “Mmm. Doesn’t seem like you want me to stop.” He squeezed and I gasped. Then he grinned wickedly. “And in the words of someone who happens to be pretty good at this shit, lucky for you I have the perfect solution.”

I rolled my eyes. “A smart man then.”

Terry kissed me lightly on the lips. “Indeed. With impeccable taste in bed partners.”

I gave a soft snort and raised my hands in surrender. “I’m all yours.”

Terry smiled and something flashed behind his eyes that I couldn’t read. Then he got busy disposing of my jeans and briefs and all thought left my brain as I focused simply on watching him.

When my clothes had been added to the growing pile on the study floor, Terry shot some lube onto his palm and then captured my cock and studied it, a tiny frown in place, like now that he had it in his hands, he didn’t know quite what to do with it. It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t for me being on that aforementioned hair trigger, which hadn’t improved any after watching Terry lose himself in pleasure.

“I’ll give you a hint,” I said, smiling when his gaze shot to mine.

“A hint?” A single brow rose. “As in slow, fast, tight, loose?”

I cupped his face. “As in I’m gonna love anything you want to do, any way you want to do it. Right now I’m so damn close that if you commanded me to come, I could probably blow.”

Startled eyes blinked back at me. Then he scowled. “You made me tell you.”

“Okay. Fair enough. Then loose and fast is my usual go to, but the rest stands.” My thumb grazed his cheek, those beautiful eyes drawing me like a siren call. “God, you are so pretty.”

He turned an adorable shade of beetroot, then wrapped his hand more firmly around my cock. “Stop distracting me.” Terry loosened his grip on my cock and started to stroke. My world shrank to a small bubble inhabited by just the two of us, made smaller when his lips found mine and he started tongue fucking my mouth while feverishly working my dick.

“A little looser,” I panted into his open mouth and his grip eased.

“Better?” he huffed against my lips.

“Mm-hmm,” I murmured, thrusting my tongue into his mouth, needing to be lost every way possible in this man.

He groaned and our tongues battled, his knuckles grazing my belly with every pass. Whatever Terry lacked in experience, he more than made up in enthusiasm, and I was teetering at the edge of orgasm in under a minute flat.

“Almost there,” I gasped, pulling away to bury my face in his neck. “Jesus, that’s perfect... hmmm. Good. Right there. Right there. Right—” I fisted the blanket, bracing, seconds away from the flood of orgasm, just a few more strokes and then... nothing. Terry was gone.

What the...? I looked down to find him face to face with my swollen cock, studying it like it held the secrets to the universe.

“You’re gonna make it shy,” I said breathlessly.

Terry shot me a wicked smile. “I wanna try... if that’s okay?”

Laughter bubbled up my throat. Damn, he was so fucking lovely. “There isn’t a place in the universe where the answer to that question is gonna be anything but yes.”

He nodded and went back to studying my dick and I figured if he didn’t do something with it soon, my balls were going to implode. I saw the headlines. Man found with ? —

Tight, wet heat enveloped the head of my cock and made its way down. I groaned and fell back on the couch because, good Lord, the man had a mouth on him.

He stopped about halfway, making the difference up with his hand as he began to glide up and down, the suction tight, his lips dragging on my foreskin, blisteringly hot and sexy. It felt so damn perfect, I wanted to make it last, not knowing if I’d get another opportunity. But it was too good. Too right. Too much of Terry to ignore. His first time sucking a guy and I was so fucking honoured, not to mention hanging by a thread.

A tear slid down my cheek but I ignored it. I couldn’t afford to ask why and didn’t need to.

Terry’s tongue swirled around my shaft and over my slit before plunging down almost to the base. I felt him gag but he soldiered on, so determined in his efforts that I was rendered helpless in his hands. My cry broke the silence as pleasure thundered through my body without warning, my balls unloading into Terry’s mouth before I could pull away.

But he didn’t jerk back. Didn’t look up in horror. He kept his lips around my cock until I was finished and pulling him up my body so that I could see his face and apologise.

But Terry didn’t look shocked or upset. Instead, he wore a lopsided grin and looked so inordinately pleased with himself that I couldn’t help but chuckle. And with my come slick on his lips and running down his chin, he also looked about as debauched as a man could be.

“Fucking hell, Terry.” I kissed that ridiculous smile off his face and then shook my head in amusement.

“I did good, right?” His eyes sparkled. “I wasn’t sure that I could, but I wanted to try. I’m up for feedback.”

I snorted and brushed his damp hair back from his forehead. “You were great. I fucking loved it.” I held the sticky ends of a disobedient curl for him to see and cocked my head. “Shower before bed if you don’t want questions.”

Terry stared wide-eyed at the sight of my come in his hair and then gave a slightly hysterical chuckle. “Jesus, I guess it really did happen.”

I tipped his chin up, forcing him to look at me. “And you’re sure you’re okay?”

The punch-drunk smile disappeared, and Terry took so long to answer that I began to worry.

“I’m—I’m great, actually,” he finally replied, then followed it with a huge smile. “I’m perfectly fucking great.”

I ran my thumb over his cheekbone, and when it came away wet, I held it up for him to see. “So, what’s this all about?”

His grin never faltered. “That’s what happens when you blow a boy’s brains out with the best orgasm of his life and then let him return the favour.” He shot me a level look. “Besides, I could ask you the same thing.” He swiped under my eyes and there they were. The tears I was pretending didn’t happen.

I studied his fingers and shrugged. “I worked up a sweat, so sue me.”

He narrowed his gaze but for some reason didn’t call me on the lie.

Time to change the subject. “Best orgasm of your life, huh?”

Terry side-eyed me. “Don’t sound so smug.” He reached for his phone but there were no messages, so he snuggled back down. “Besides, it only goes to prove how pathetic my sex life was up until now.”

“Ouch.” I pulled him into my arms and he stretched out beside me on the couch, pulling the blanket over us both. “But exactly how miserable are we talking? I need details.”

“You really don’t.” He waggled his hand between us. “Let’s just say that the last time I had someone in my bed was the infamous failure-to-launch experience with that hookup I told you about.”

I blinked, then frowned. “But you said that was?—”

“A few years ago, yes,” he finished. “See? Pathetic.”

I had to know. “And before then?”

He grimaced. “You’ll only laugh.”

I folded him against me and kissed the side of his head. “Never.”

His arms snaked around my waist and he answered without looking up. “I’m holding you to that. It was a couple of years earlier, give or take. I ran into a woman I’d known in high school and we got together a couple of times. I don’t even know why. The fact I knew her made it not feel like a hookup, I suppose. But the sex was hardly spectacular and only made me feel lonelier. That’s why I think I’m probably demi. I seem to need a connection first. Like with Amber.”

I tipped his chin up. “But you weren’t in love with her, right?”

He sighed. “No.”

I smiled. “And I’ve only known you since Monday. Four days doesn’t really tick the box for having a connection.”

He snorted. “Does it feel like only four days to you?”

I stared at him, this unexpected wrinkle in my life who’d appeared from nowhere to mess with my perfectly ordered plans. “No.” I cradled his face and dropped my lips to his in a leisurely kiss. “I feel like I’ve known you forever. Like a closed door in my life has suddenly blown open and I’m like, oh, there you are . Like I’ve been expecting you to show up while at the same time stunned that you’re here at all. And now I don’t know what to do about you.” I jolted at the startling admission, even though I knew it had been coming.

Terry’s mouth dropped open and he pulled away, as stunned by my confession as I was. “What do you mean do about me?”

My cheeks blew hot, a rare occurrence before Terry showed up in my life. “I mean that we like each other and we get on well, agreed?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Hardly encouraging but I pressed my case. “So maybe this thing between us doesn’t have to end when you leave. Maybe we could do this again. I could come visit... or something.” Visit... or something ? Because I did all the time with my hookups, right?

But Terry wasn’t just another hookup, not even the extended director’s cut version—cue a second disquieting admission. But exactly what he meant in my life was still up for debate. I settled on a friend, at the very least, mostly because I was too much of a coward to delve deeper, and friend felt... safe. Friends with benefits sounded even better.

Or not.

Because Terry was staring back at me like my suggestion dismayed— no , disappointed him. But also like it was the most outrageous thing he’d ever heard, all of which told me a lot and none of it promising.

I should’ve kept my big mouth shut.

“No,” he said, his gaze hard and uncompromising. “I don’t think that would be the smart thing to do at all. I’m not that guy, Spencer, something I thought you already knew. Tonight was—” And he actually smiled. “—amazing, but it wasn’t the start of more of the same. I can’t live like that.”

“But it wouldn’t be like a hookup, right?” I floundered. “We know each other and we like each other. We’re... friends. It wouldn’t be hollow.”

Terry closed his eyes, and I could almost hear him counting in his head. Finally, he opened them again. “We are friends, Spencer. Or at least we’re heading that way, which is another reason I won’t do what you’re suggesting. I know myself well enough to realise I would start to want more. Hell, I’m even doing it now. Stupid daydreams. And when that day came, I wouldn’t want to share you. The idea of you seeing other people would kill me. And then I’d lose you as a friend as well.”

I wanted to argue that he was wrong but we both knew there were no guarantees. Plus, he was right. The reality of Adelaide and Painted Bay wasn’t just going to disappear because we wanted it to. It was a geographical shitshow of bad timing.

“So—” Terry got up on one elbow and stroked my face, regret swimming in his eyes. “—my suggestion is that we do nothing after today, except be friends. I think that’s really what we both need from each other, at least right now.”

He couldn’t have been clearer than that, and the truth was, I should’ve been happy. It was the safer option. The easy one. It didn’t derail either of our plans and it offered time and maybe even an open door. Maybe. So why did my heart sink at the very idea?

Terry frowned at my silence and reached for my hands. “Hey, don’t get me wrong, Spencer. I’m flattered beyond belief that you’d want something more between us, but the reality is that I live a quiet, boring life and I like it that way. Whereas you’re fancy-free, brave, and looking for adventure and challenge like moving to Adelaide. But that lifestyle isn’t me. I would tie you down and we both know how much you hate that.”

I bit my tongue, wanting to tell him he was wrong about that as well. Terry was already living a hugely challenging life that required enormous bravery, but I doubted he’d hear it just then.

When he dropped down to press a lingering kiss to my mouth, the scent of our sex on his lips was like a rush to the head, and my body reacted like he’d already imprinted on my heart. And when he went to pull away, my hand rode the hot flesh of his back to return him where he belonged, his mouth on mine for a second round, and he opened for me like it was second nature.

When he finally pulled away, he remained on one elbow, staring down at me, his fingers playing with the hair on my chest. “You know I’m right.” He breathed the words softly. “I’m leaving tomorrow or the next day. I have a daughter to finish raising and a life I’ve built in Painted Bay—friends, family, a business to run. You have an exciting opportunity waiting in Adelaide, adventures to have and a career to build. You won’t even be in the country to come visit . We’re much better suited as friends.”

And he was right, of course. The whole notion was crazy but knowing that didn’t make a scrap of difference to my heart, which was far more confused than it had any right to be.

I cradled his face and drew him down for a deeper, more punishing kiss. And as our tongues tangled and the arousal grew, Terry crawled on top of me, his dick waking mine, our naked bodies humming with pleasure as the friction amped up.

Well, looky there . I turned away from the kiss to grab the lube and then rolled us both onto our sides. His eyes widened in question and I smiled and waggled my brows. “Pay close attention and behold one of the perks of man-on-man love.”

The second I wrapped my hand around both our dicks and started to stroke, Terry’s lips were on mine, and I swallowed every soft rumble and groan of need that he dropped into my open mouth. When his thigh lifted over mine and his hips thrust forward, I picked up the pace.

“Fuuuuck, that’s good.” Terry pulled off and buried his face in my shoulder. I did the same with him, the two of us grunting and thrusting toward the edge.

Then his cock swelled in my hand and he came with a whimpering cry, the feel of his hot spill leaking through my fingers kicking my own orgasm over the line.

We rocked and shuddered in each other’s arms until we were done, then he pulled away and kissed me on the nose, and again, and once more until I finally opened my eyes.

“Well, damn,” he purred like a satisfied kitten. “That was sure... something all right.”

“Told you.” I lifted my sticky hands to take a long lick from one of the fingers.

His eyes locked on my mouth as he grabbed another of my fingers and did the same, adding a slow stripe of his tongue up my palm just for good measure.

I grinned like a fool, then grabbed the blanket to finish cleaning us up before pulling him back into my arms. He settled against me and we stared at each other for the longest time.

It was me who broke the silence. “Okay, so I don’t know how much I truly believe in what you were saying about us being much better as friends, or even how much you believe in it yourself, but I agree that it’s maybe the best we can manage... for now.”

I felt the second Terry relaxed, which strangely made me sad.

“But what I do believe,” I continued, “is that there is something here, something between us that’s maybe worth working on, and I don’t want to say never.”

Terry watched me with wary eyes, taking his time to respond. Finally he sighed and said, “Then we won’t.”

I nodded. “I can live with that.”

A smile tugged at his lips and he poked me in the chest. “But right now we need to get dressed and respectable in case I’m needed, and I for one need a hot drink.” He pushed me aside to get up from the couch. “So, how about I make us some tea and you can tell me all about your sex life since I’ve had to fess up about mine.”

My brows crunched in disbelief. “Tea?” I checked the time on his phone. “It’s almost midnight.”

Terry tut-tutted. “It’s never too late for tea.”

I blinked. “I don’t even think I have tea in the house.”

He regarded me askance. “Well, we definitely can’t be friends then.”

“You wish. How about coffee? You drink that too, right?”

Terry gave a disdainful snort. “Not at midnight I don’t.”

I scowled and shot to my feet, elbowing Terry aside so I could get to my jeans and shirt. “I must have something in there that will do. Come on, Mister Particular.”

We made our way to the kitchen where I pulled open the pantry to scan the shelves. “How about a beer? I have plenty of that.” My hopeful suggestion earned another mocking chuckle.

“Nope. I want my wits about me when I hear the unabridged version of your love life,” Terry explained. “ Confessions of a Mackenzie Vet . It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

I gave a painful groan. “Fucking hell. For a four-day-old friend, you sure expect a lot. I’m going off you real fast.”

He snorted happily. “Just find me some tea. Everyone keeps at least one packet for visitors just in case, right?”

I turned a blank face his way. “Cue the aforementioned conversation where I said that I don’t encourage visitors. And before you ask, my hookups rarely stay past an invitation to an encore orgasm in the morning, if they’re lucky, before I send them on their way.”

Terry’s cheeks blew beetroot and he flustered. “You said that on purpose.”

I resisted the urge to laugh. “Maybe.”

He narrowed his gaze, those blue eyes flinty sharp. “Arsehole.”

“Never denied it—oh, looky here.” I held aloft a packet of turmeric and ginger tea. “Bingo.”

Terry snatched the packet out of my hands for a closer look. “Good Lord. What hellish concoction is this? I said tea. As in... you know... tea .” He waved his hand around adorably.

I read over his shoulder. “It is tea. It says so right there .” I pointed to the word.

Terry rolled his eyes. “Well done, Sherlock.”

I closed the pantry and leaned against the door. “I think Sonja gave it to me one Christmas as a gag gift.”

Terry shot me a look. “We’ll be lucky if we’re not gagging after the first sip. Go on, get me some mugs while I shake the dust off the packet. It won’t kill us to at least give it a try. Broadening my horizons, right?”

I laughed. “The beer thing is still a viable option.”

He sent me a scathing look. “Mugs. I’m waiting.”

I saluted. “You’re a bossy little shit.”

He grinned. “You have no idea. Another reason we’re better as friends.”

I slid two mugs along the countertop and Terry added boiling water and a couple of tea bags. The water turned an uninviting murky brown and I suppressed a shudder.

“If I have to drink this piss-water, I’m gonna damn well do it in comfort.” I took the mug and led Terry back into the lounge where I made myself comfortable on the cream sofa.

“I’ll go check on Hannah.” Terry put his mug on the coffee table and headed for the hall while I punched a couple of pillows into place and released a satisfied sigh. It had been a hell of a day in too many ways to count and my head was spinning.

Terry was back in less than a minute. “Still sleeping.” He closed the door and picked up his tea before scanning the available seating options.

“I promise I won’t bite.” I patted the couch, then shot him a look. “That is unless you want me to.”

Terry rolled his eyes and practically wilted into position at the opposite end of the couch, and I was reminded how tired he had to be.

“Go on, put your feet up,” I told him, patting my lap.

He side-eyed me for a moment, then slid both legs onto the couch and into my lap. “Damn, that feels good.” He reached for his mug of tea and took a tentative sip before raising both brows. “It’s actually not that bad.”

“You’ve got to be joking,” I scoffed. “It looks like the scum off the puddles of rain in the clinic carpark, except they look more appetising.”

Terry almost choked on another mouthful of the disgusting brew. “Well, I like it. Don’t love it, but it will do, considering there was no other choice.” He put his mug back on the table and eyed me accusingly.

I sighed and reached for the cup to take the tiniest of tastes, but the second the foul liquid hit my tongue, I returned it into the mug and disposed of the offending item back onto the coffee table. “Holy fuck, that’s disgusting.” I scraped the taste from my tongue with my teeth and shuddered.

Terry jabbed me in the thigh with his toes. “You’re such a drama queen.”

I responded with a cushion to his head. “I don’t know how you drink that shit.”

He muffled his laughter with the cushion and then wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “It’s not that bad.”

“It’s evil,” I declared, starting to massage the sole of his right foot.

He gawped. “What are you doing?”

I sent him a look. “You wanna argue about it?”

He looked like he just might, but then my knuckles ran down the pressure points for his spine and he groaned and fell back onto the cushions, his eyes closed. “Oh, fuck yeah.” He slid further onto his back and I smiled.

“What was that you were saying?” I dug my thumbs deep, which elicited another porn-worthy groan.

“Nothing,” he said. “Absolutely nothing.”

A few minutes later he pulled his right foot away and substituted it with his left. “If you wouldn’t mind?” He peered at me through one open eye.

I chuckled and shook my head. “I’m immune to your wiles, Mister O’Connor.”

He opened the other eye and somehow managed to look sassy as shit, which made me laugh. “I doubt that,” he scoffed. “Especially since they appear to have an undisputed history of success.” He pushed himself to an almost sit while still keeping his feet in my lap, and I rolled my eyes at the sexy little smirk he threw my way.

“It’s not working,” I warned him. It so was, and I grumbled something about demanding friendships and picked up the other foot.

He wriggled his bum happily and settled in to watch me work. “Now, I do believe you were about to educate me on the love life of the Mackenzie equivalent of Don Juan. Namely, what you’re so scared of. Why you don’t date. What you want from your life. And in three sentences or less.”

I ran my knuckles hard down the sole of his foot and he squealed. “Ow.”

“Serves you right.” I rubbed at the spot, then pushed his feet off the couch. “All right then. But if we’re going to have this conversation, then you need to get your butt over here.” I patted the cushion spot right next to me.

Terry’s gaze narrowed. “Why?”

“Because we are not discussing my decidedly dodgy romantic history with you sitting over there thinking you’re just like all the others.”

Terry blinked, his body freezing.

“Exactly like that.” I stabbed a finger his way. “Because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, you’re so not like them that you may as well exist in another universe. I don’t talk with my hookups beyond the necessary. I don’t drink god-awful tea with them, that’s for sure, or massage their feet, for fuck’s sake.”

His lips twitched. “Colour me shocked.”

“Just get over here.” I turned sideways and stretched my arm along before motioning him over. “Now would be good.”

Terry hesitated just long enough for me to know the decision was costing him a few of those walls he so jealously guarded. And yeah, the irony wasn’t lost on me. What the hell had happened to my walls?

When Terry eventually shuffled down the couch, I tucked him against my side with one arm around his shoulder and the other around his waist. “Much better,” I declared, pulling him tight. “Now stop acting like this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. We just had each other’s cocks down our throats. I think you’ll survive a snuggle.”

Terry huffed, “Says you. They’re way more dangerous than a fuck.”

He wasn’t wrong. I pressed a kiss to his hair. “Be honest. You’re as hungry for whatever this is as I am.”

He fought the idea for a second, then melted against me. “I hate that you’re right.”

I lifted his hand and kissed the palm. “Okay, are you ready?”

He nodded, but it lacked any enthusiasm whatsoever and I wondered again why he was so insistent on doing this. Then it occurred to me that he’d maybe use it to push me into the box he wanted me to stay in. I didn’t like the idea but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

I launched in. “Right, here’s the short version cos you’re not getting the extended one, no matter how much you stamp your feet. Not yet at least.” I took a breath. “I fuck people, Terry. That is the total sum of my love life and has been for more years than I care to remember.”

He tensed and leaned away, but I was determined to finish. He’d asked for it, after all.

“It’s fun.” I tightened my hold around his waist and ran my nose through his hair. “It’s mutually satisfying, no strings, and it’s all I thought I could handle, all I wanted to handle since the day I walked off my parents’ farm.” I let that sink in, then added, “I fuck people, but I don’t do this .” I kissed his cheek and put my lips to his ear. “I don’t cuddle on my couch, ask about their lives, or do a lot of the things you and I have done these past few days. You are not them .”

He shook his head. “But that makes no sense.”

“A brilliant deduction.” I brushed my lips across the back of his neck and he shivered, angling his neck for more. I wasn’t sure he even realised what he’d done, but I obliged anyway, resting my chin on his shoulder and continuing.

“On the whole, I prefer not to know the people I fuck beyond the bare minimum. They don’t matter in any relationship sense beyond that night. Sure, some do look for more after, but I’ve never been tempted and I’m always honest about what we’re doing right from the start.” I swallowed hard. “But then you came along.”

He glanced over his shoulder. “That’s the part I don’t get.”

“Me either,” I admitted. “But for whatever reason that I don’t currently understand, you matter to me. A sentiment which it seems you share about me.”

“That’s... true.” He turned back and all I could see was his jaw working. “But it also makes being friends... problematic. Maybe it’s not such a good idea after?—”

I nipped his ear and he yelped. Then I turned him to face me. “I’m not going to answer that, not unless you have too many friends already.”

He scowled at me for a few seconds, then the air went out of his pissy sails and he deflated. “All right. I think we’ve both lost our freaking minds, but all right.”

He pressed a kiss to my chin. “But I haven’t heard nearly enough, so get talking, friend . You can start with your cherry popper. I’ve led a sheltered life and I aim to live vicariously through your dicksperience.”

“Oh. My. God,” I groaned. “This can’t be happening.”