The Gifted Heart (Marks of Inheritance: The Orkeia Cycle #1)

15. Open Eyes

Chapter fifteen

Open Eyes

I sat on the edge of my bed for what must have been hours, staring out the window. My thoughts wandered far away, searching the surrounding islands for Gideon and Neal, and I almost broke the rule I’d made for myself not to risk separating from my body again. Once more I contemplated simply leaving, but the image of Kiernan’s smile and the sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me replaced the thought no matter how hard I tried to push it away. It was hard to remind myself I couldn’t trust him.

As the sun set, Abi knocked softly on my door and entered. I sent her a weak smile, but she wasn’t fooled.

“What happened?” she said as she closed the door. “What did he want?”

“Nothing. He just gave me a tour of the castle.”

She blinked. “Did you talk about anything?”

I sighed. “Nothing in particular. He just wanted to make me feel at home.”

“Are you sure he just wanted to make you feel at home?” Her eyes widened as she picked up the ruby necklace from my desk.

I averted my eyes. “It’s just a necklace.”

Seeing the expression on my face, Abi slowly set down the beautiful object, her eyebrows pressed together. She bit her lip when I remained silent, probably trying to think of a way to cheer me up.

“Well, you haven’t seen the best part of the castle yet,” she said after a moment, her voice turning mischievous as she took my hands in hers .

I raised an eyebrow. “You know the castle better than the king?”

“I know this castle better than anyone alive.” She winked, pulling me to my feet. “When you're a lady in waiting without a lady to serve, you have a lot of free time on your hands. I’ve used mine to explore every nook and cranny I could.”

She could tell I was skeptical, but her smile only widened. “Come on,” she said, lowering her voice. “Everyone else is at dinner, so we won’t be missed. The king thinks you retired for the night.”

Curious, I let her lead me from the room. She checked that the hallway was deserted before motioning for me to follow. We turned left down the hall, away from the dining area and toward the castle entrance, checking around corners. Just as I was about to ask where we were going, she stopped and leaned her shoulder against the stone wall. A secret door opened quietly, and she smiled at my surprise.

“Get in,” she urged excitedly. I could tell she’d never shared her knowledge of this door with anyone, and she enjoyed seeing my reaction. I stepped forward, but hesitated.

“How will we see?” I said, ashamed to hear the fear in my voice. It was silly to be afraid of the dark, but there was—or at least had been—a demon somewhere in the castle, after all. While they weren’t forced to stay in darkness, it certainly seemed like the darkness gave them some amount of power. Otherwise, why would it only have appeared at night?

Her face softened even though she didn’t know the real source of my fear, and she touched my shoulder. “There’s a torch just a little ways down. I try to keep them lit.”

“Them?” I asked, stepping through the doorway cautiously. There was indeed a light a ways down the hall, but I still felt uneasy. My uneasiness grew when she closed the door behind us, and I briefly closed my eyes and reached out with my magic in an attempt to sense anything else in here with us. I was relieved when I didn’t and tried to force my tight shoulders to relax.

“These passageways are all over the castle,” Abi explained, taking my hand and leading me forward. “They haven’t been used for years, but when I found them I went ahead and lit them. The torches burn for a while, and since I use them almost every day—”

“Every day?” I asked, surprised.

“It makes it much easier and quicker to get around,” she said, then winked at me. “There are also a few places where you can look out into the hallways and rooms…to watch a dramatic entrance at a banquet, for instance.”

I raised an eyebrow and laughed unexpectedly. “You were spying on me?”

“Not spying! Just—observing,” she said with a smirk.

I shook my head, still chuckling. “So they go to the dining hall…where else do they lead?”

“All over. Where would you like to go?”

I thought about it as she took the first torch off the wall. “How about the library?”

“Right this way, M’Lady,” she said, curtsying to me. We both chuckled, though we did our best to keep our voices down in case someone heard us through the walls.

Since I grew up separate from other children, I didn’t know what it was like to be a curious young girl, but I imagine I felt like a young girl that night. Abi and I never even made it to the library—I kept changing direction on her, determined to get lost somehow, but she knew her way around too well. When we were too tired to continue, we carefully left the tunnels and stepped out into the main hallways, still giggling. When we reached my room, Abi suddenly pulled me into a tight hug.

“I had fun with you tonight, Kenna,” she said into my shoulder.

“I had fun with you too,” I replied.

In her friendly embrace, I realized how much she felt like a sister to me. If I stayed here, there would inevitably come a time when I would have to tell her what I really was. The thought made my stomach turn over with nerves, but I suppressed it for the moment.

When she backed away, we both curtsied to each other, suppressing giggles. But once I was alone in my room, I let out a heavy sigh before changing, reapplying my salt, and climbing into bed. Even as I lay there with my eyes closed, I couldn’t rest. At first I worried again that the demonic presence had returned, but every time I sat up to look there was no sign of it, and I couldn’t sense it when I reached out with my gift.

After a couple sleepless hours, I finally stood, frustrated, and lit my candle, drawing an overcoat over myself. I didn’t know where I was going to go, but I knew I had to walk around if I ever hoped to get to sleep.

The halls were empty, as expected in the middle of the night. I wandered for a few minutes before deciding to go to the library. With all those books, there would certainly be something to distract me. Part of me wished I’d let Abi actually show me the way in the secret passages earlier that evening, but as much fun as I’d had with her, the thought of trying to navigate them alone was alarming. It was much easier to take the route Kiernan had shown me.

It still took me some time to find it, since I’d only been there once. When I entered, my eyes roamed the shelves in the dim candlelight, searching for a place to start.

I eventually made my way towards the history section. Kneeling close to the ground, I noticed a book sticking out, the pages tattered. It looked like it would fall apart in my hands, but I gingerly removed it from the shelf anyway. Though its pages were covered in dust, the faded writing was still legible. I sat down in one of the chairs and placed the candle on the table to my right, settling in to read.

As soon as I started, I almost stood up again. I can’t have read that right. My heart pounding, I reread the first sentence over and over again until I couldn’t dispute what it said:

‘A record of Hanson the sorcerer, written by his wife, Kindra.’

There was no denying what it said. But this couldn’t possibly be Kindra’s lost record! How could I be holding her original writings in my hands, and in the castle no less? Even if it had been held here by kings long ago, why and how wouldn’t it have been destroyed with every other magical item the knights got their hands on when the Slaughters started?

Before I had time to read anymore, the main door to the library opened with an echoing creak. Quickly, I tucked the book into my robe under my arm. The door closed, and a shadow turned the corners of the bookcases. Even though I knew they didn’t need doors, my imagination immediately jumped to the demon that was haunting me. My hand shook as I snatched the candle from the table and spun towards the approaching shadow, lifting my other hand as I had towards the creature in my room weeks ago.

“Kenna?”

It was Kiernan’s voice. He stepped into the light, and I set my candle down with a heavy breath, relief washing over me.

“Are you alright? What are you doing here by yourself?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

He sighed. “I couldn’t sleep. Reading always helps.”

“I had the same idea,” I admitted.

“But you don’t have a book with you,” he observed, looking at the table.

“I haven’t picked one yet,” I lied. “I didn’t know where to start.”

He smiled. “Then let me pick for you. Do you mind?”

I shook my head. He approached one of the nearby bookshelves, one of the ones in the children’s section he’d shown me earlier. While his back was turned, I quickly tucked Kindra’s book a bit more securely under my arm. Kiernan found the book he was looking for effortlessly in the darkness and returned to my side, flipping through the pages until he found what he wanted. With another smile, he handed it to me, pointing to the start.

“It’s the story of the Mother of the Sea,” he said. “A children’s tale, really, but one of my favorites. It tells of her constant struggle against the Father of Storms, and how she would avenge the sailors’ lives that he took. When I was younger I always wished I could control the sea or sky—until I saw what power like that actually does.”

His face fell, and he was serious once again. “But you can read this in your room, can’t you? I don’t want you wandering around yourself when it’s so late.”

I stared at him, his words echoing in my mind. Maybe he didn’t want the death of magic after all. Maybe he was just scared of the damage bad people could cause with incredible power. If I could open his eyes, if I could show him that not all Gifted used their powers for evil …

He took a step closer to see me better in the dim light. “Kenna, what’s troubling you?”

“Nothing,” I said quietly, my eyes locked on his. For a moment we just stared at each other. And despite my racing thoughts, I felt surprisingly calm.

I can show him there is good in magic.

“Let me walk you to your room,” he said.

I hesitated, feeling Kindra’s book slip a bit under my arm. “I’m fine. I’d like to sit here and read a while, if you don’t mind.”

He hesitated, but nodded. “Of course. As I said earlier, I want you to consider my home your home.”

There was another pause between us. He looked as if he was going to say more, but when he spoke he simply said, “Good night, Kenna.”

“Good night, Kiernan,” I replied. With a warm smile, he picked up a book for himself and left. I didn’t move until the library doors had shut, leaving me alone in my thoughts with Kindra’s book pressed against my side.

After some indecision, I returned to my room, bringing my find with me. It wouldn’t be missed from the collection, and I didn’t want anyone else to discover it. I couldn’t bear the thought of this record being destroyed, and I vowed to prevent such a tragedy from happening.

Of course, I didn’t just want to protect it—I wanted to study it.

But now was not the time to start. By the time I had reached my quarters, the hour of night had caught up to me. I sighed as I hid the treasure under my bed and laid down, quickly drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

***

I awoke to a knock on my door, as I always did when I had lessons. I turned away from the window, expecting Abi to come in and open it as she usually did, letting in the sun. After a few moments, however, another knock sounded. Slowly, I got out of bed and pulled a robe over my nightgown. Abi never waited for me to actually get out of bed and open the door.

In the hallway stood a maid with cat-like eyes, a little shorter than Abi, dressed in a higher-ranking uniform. She curtsied low to the ground, ignoring the surprise on my face.

“Good morning, Lady Kenna. My name is Marinda. I am your new maid.”

I blinked. “My what?”

“Your new maid,” she repeated, waiting patiently for me to let her in.

“What’s happened to Abigail?” I frowned.

“She has been reassigned,” Marinda said matter-of-factly. “The king requested I take her place as your attendant.”

My heart dropped. “Where has she been assigned? Has she been demoted?”

“No, My Lady,” said Marinda, seeming confused as to why I would be asking all these questions. “She’s been moved to a different part of the castle.”

I stared at her, searching my mind for a reason to turn her away, but I couldn’t find one. Servants were not supposed to grow attached to those they served, and I would probably get Abi into more trouble pressing the subject than if I let it alone.

Reluctantly, I stepped back. Marinda curtsied once again, striding past me and directly to my wardrobe. She didn’t open the window, but worked in the darkness, only lighting a couple candles to see her way around. She didn’t speak either—the most she said was “turn around” or “sit down” to give me direction. She also didn’t ask for my opinions, forcing a dress on me before I’d really even seen it and fastening the ruby necklace around my throat without a word. She pulled my hair up so tightly that it rivaled Miss Grayson’s stern style when I knocked on her door in low spirits a few minutes later.

“Thank you, Marinda,” Miss Grayson said, nodding to her. Marinda curtsied to the both of us, very low to the ground, her eyes clearly averted. I stared after her as she walked away, desperately hoping I wouldn’t be stuck with her for long.

Miss Grayson cleared her throat. “Now then, Kenna. We have a lot of work to do today.”

She didn’t seem nearly as harsh as before, and even shut the door, not slammed it. I wondered if taking a break had improved her mood, but I doubted two days off would be enough to change her that much.

“Have a seat,” she said, gesturing to the chair by the table. As I complied, she opened the drawer to a desk in the corner, removing a few pieces of paper and a couple of parcels. She set them on top of the desk and thought for a moment. At length she nodded and took one from the bottom, bringing it to the table and setting it down before sitting opposite me.

It was a map of Orkeia. I recognized some of the Southern layout from when I had searched for the Grison clan my second night in the castle, but it was strange to see it drawn out on paper. It was also strange to see the names for the different islands. Remembering some of my former lessons, I realized that they were all named after the noble families that lived there or previous kings. I was sure that the Gifted used to have different names for them, but it wasn’t something I had ever really considered before.

“What’s this for?” I ventured to ask, since it didn’t seem she was going to snap at me whenever I spoke today.

“To start learning and memorizing the land,” Miss Grayson explained, not even a twinge of annoyance on her brow. “Who lives on which isles and what they export to the mainland kingdoms.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said I wouldn’t need to learn any trade.”

“It’s valuable knowledge,” she said dismissively. “Now, let’s begin with Caldsen and Terran.”

The next three hours were spent learning how each island received its name, who lived there in the past, which noble families lived there now, how they made their money, and the succession of kings were Kiernan to die without an heir. My head spun, but I tried to soak it all in. It would be useful when I left this place to be more aware of my location, instead of just wandering. I would be able to help the clans I came across as well.

She’d just finished testing me on the names of all of the lords when Marinda entered with our lunch. We ate in silence as always, but with one major difference: Miss Grayson wasn’t glaring at me. When we finished, she returned to the desk, gathering a different stack of papers. They proved to be miniature portraits of the lords and their families. We spent the next hour and a half matching the names to the faces. Soon, I was exhausted.

“Very good,” she said when I’d finished telling her everything I could about Lord Everett and his family. “Now the nobles living inside the city.”

“Excuse me, Miss Grayson,” I said as she stood to gather even more portraits. “But why am I learning all of this?”

“It’s useful to know who the leaders of the kingdom are.”

“I don’t really see how,” I said as respectfully as I could. “I’ve been here a few months and this is the first time you’ve tried to teach me about the nobles.”

“If you’re going to be a member of this society, Kenna,” she began, rejoining me at the table, “you’re going to need to mingle with the upper levels. They will all know who you are, and it will be expected that you know who they are.”

“Why would they know who I am?” I said, unable to hold back a laugh.

“Well I should hope they would take the time to learn about someone who could be their future queen.”

The silence in the room was deafening. I couldn’t have said a word even if I wanted to. All I could do was stare at her. A smile twitched on the corners of her lips as she watched my struggling expressions.

“Certainly this can’t come as a surprise to you,” she said, failing to hide the mocking edge to her tone. “You are a beautiful woman, Kenna. His Majesty hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you since he returned, and you’ve only encouraged his interest by not taking your eyes off of him.”

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Miss Grayson obviously found the situation amusing, but she wasn’t about to show it. It wouldn’t be ladylike.

“Now, let’s continue,” she said, placing the portraits in front of me. “There will be a banquet four months from now in celebration of Orkeia’s founding, and all of the nobles will be here. You will be expected to know each of their names, so let’s start now.”

Somehow I repeated names as she said them, but I wasn’t retaining any information. My stomach was in knots.

Could that really be his intention?

He’d talked about us helping each other in the future, that he hoped to hold a ball sometime soon—he’d dropped so many hints, and I’d remained oblivious. He was courting me, and there was no logical reason for me to reject him.

Except that if he knew about my mark, he would kill me.

I didn’t master these names as I had the previous ones, but Miss Grayson released me for the day anyway. “We have time to get you ready,” she said. “We’ll continue tomorrow.”

When I opened the door to leave, Marinda was waiting to help me prepare for dinner. She altered my hairstyle, though I didn’t notice any difference, and added a hairpiece to match my necklace and dress. The necklace felt even heavier than before as I considered the intentions behind the gift, and I almost felt like it was strangling me.

When Marinda thought I looked presentable, we went down the stairs to the dining room. She opened the doors for me, curtsying to guests at the table. The men all stood, and I curtsied sloppily at the last minute, distracted by my racing thoughts. Kiernan smiled in my direction, but this time I did not meet his eyes. There was an empty seat next to Isaiah, and I took it, grateful when the guests returned their attention to individual conversations. Kiernan didn’t speak to anyone, however—his eyes were fixed on my face, and try as I might to ignore him, I could feel his gaze searching me.

“What’s wrong, Kenna?” Isaiah asked as I picked at my food.

I forced myself to look at him, smiling as best as I could. “Nothing,” I said, not sounding as convincing as I would have liked. Isaiah frowned, unconvinced, but with a slight shake of my head I silently communicated ‘not now,’ and he began to eat.

It was only then that I realized that not all of Kiernan’s captains were present—Lewin was missing. I obviously wasn’t bothered by this, but I was surprised. Isaiah noticed the direction of my gaze and nodded to where Lewin usually sat before speaking.

“Men are deserting the knights,” he explained in a whisper. “They aren’t happy with the Slaughters, whether it be because they’re laying their own lives on the line or they’re just tired of fighting an enemy that’s not actively attacking them. Lewin’s hard at work rounding up deserters and punishing them.”

I shivered. It was bad enough being held in that horrible dungeon for only a couple days. I didn’t want to imagine what the captain did to deserters.

These thoughts were overshadowed, however, by a strange sense of happiness. Maybe not everyone had fallen for this lie after all—maybe there were those out there who knew in their hearts there was no real reason to be killing all these innocent people. It might be possible to win them over, especially if they already had some doubt in their hearts.

But would it be possible to convince their king?

I looked up and our eyes locked. He’d hardly eaten anything on his plate. He smiled warmly. I could feel my heart pounding uncomfortably against my chest. I knew everything he’d done, that he planned to destroy my people completely, but was it really his plan or was he just carrying out his father’s wishes? Was he really so bloodthirsty that he wouldn’t listen to reason?

I thought back to our interaction in the library the night before and the childlike wonder he’d shown when recounting the story of the Mother of the Sea and the Father of Storms. The thought that I could show him there was good in magic returned stronger than before.

As we continued to stare at each other, another thought crossed my mind. I tried to push it away, but it kept finding its way back, no matter what I did .

Do I have feelings for him?

The idea was absurd, but it wouldn’t leave. The more I looked into his eyes, the more lost in them I became. I found myself fantasizing about a life with him where he accepted my Gift and ended the Slaughters.

Desperately, I looked away. The more I tried to make sense of my thoughts, the more my head hurt.

When the meal ended, I’d eaten hardly any of my dinner, but I wasn’t hungry. We all stood when Kiernan did. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when instead of simply leaving the room, he moved to my side and offered his arm.

“Would you care to take a walk with me, Lady Kenna?” he asked.

His closeness only intensified the bundle of confusing emotions in my chest. “Of course,” I said, trying to ignore the prying eyes of everyone else in the room as I took his arm.

He led me into the gardens. It was a cool night, but not so cold that it was uncomfortable. My thoughts were too jumbled for me to figure out a way to start a conversation, so I remained silent as we strolled through the paths. Kiernan was also quiet for a long time, occasionally gazing at the sky with a distant expression.

“Are you enjoying life in the castle, Kenna?” he finally asked.

I bit my lip. “It’s…been an adjustment.”

“What can I do to make you more comfortable?”

There was an eagerness in his tone that couldn’t be missed. I slowly looked up at him to see an expression of genuine concern on his face.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted quietly.

He sighed, stopping in the middle of the path and releasing my arm so he could face me more directly. “I feel I’ve done something to offend you,” he said gently. “I assure you, whatever it was, I had no intention of doing so.”

“No, you haven’t—” I started to say, but I realized that it would be a lie. The ruby around my neck still felt like it was choking me, and I resisted the urge to yank it off. There was another silence between us as I tried to determine what to say, really not sure where to even begin.

“My life, as you observed when we first met, has been … complicated,” I started, fumbling with my words. “I’ve lost a lot of people close to me, and never even had the chance to get to know others. I—it’s hard for me to adjust to something as new and different as life in your court.”

He frowned. “Has Miss Grayson not been helpful with those adjustments?” he asked.

“Miss Grayson doesn’t seem to have much patience with me,” I admitted, my lips twitching with some amusement. “She’s not exactly the warmest tutor. But…I don’t think she’s the reason I’m struggling.”

Gently, he took my hands in his. “Then what is?” he said. “What can I do to help? I can only imagine what you’ve been through…”

I shifted uncomfortably where I stood. Those words were so familiar, almost the exact same words that Gideon had said to me when I first joined the Grison clan. And what’s more, they were said with just as much sincerity. My heart twisted in my chest, but I brought my eyes up to meet his once more. In those deep blue eyes, I saw a true and genuine desire to help. I saw a man who wanted to right the wrongs he’d seen and protect his people at all costs.

He’s a good man.

Slowly, I drew my hands back from his and reached up to unclasp the necklace. His frown deepened as I removed it and placed it in one of his hands, letting out a heavy breath.

“I cannot accept this,” I admitted quietly. “It’s beautiful, but…I can’t bear the thought that someone had to die so I could have it. Death…death should never be celebrated, no matter who it is.”

He stared at me for a long moment. Part of me expected him to say that there was no reason for me to feel uncomfortable if the person who had to die was a witch. But to my relief, he didn’t. With a slow, small nod, he placed the ruby in his pocket.

“I apologize,” he said, genuinely sounding remorseful. “Perhaps I have been too cavalier when it comes to this war. You are right of course. I hope you can forgive my oversight. ”

I nodded, trying to swallow the knot in my throat. He gingerly took my hand and kissed it before offering me his arm once more to lead me back into the castle. We didn’t speak on the way to my room, but it wasn’t really an uncomfortable silence like before. It was a silence of understanding.

As we reached my door, another thought occurred to me and I let out a breath.

“Kiernan, I wonder if I might ask for one more thing.”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “What is it?”

“I’d like my old maid back—Abigail Cobb.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I thought you would appreciate having a higher-ranked maid.”

“I do appreciate the thought,” I said sincerely, “but it would mean so much to me if Abigail was reassigned as my attendant. She’s—well, she’s become a close friend. I don’t want to lose her.”

His expression softened. If he was bothered by the idea of me being friends with a maid, he did a good job of not letting it show. “Of course. You can expect to see her in the morning,”

I beamed at him. “Thank you,” I breathed out with relief. My heart feeling considerably lighter than it had for the rest of the day, I curtsied once more. Again, I did not break eye contact. He responded with a bow, watching me turn to enter my room. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him put his hand in the pocket that held the ruby, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Closing my eyes, I leaned against the door as I shut it. I noticed with some alarm that my breathing was heavier than normal and I took a few minutes to try to steady it. My fingers curled against the wood of the door as my thoughts wandered.

Giving him back the necklace had been a risk. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d reacted with deep offense. Instead, he was humbled and willing to admit that, at least to some degree, he’d been wrong in his attitude towards this war. It was a small start, but a start nonetheless.

If he was that receptive to a gentle correction, perhaps given time I really would be able to persuade him that what he believed about magic wasn’t the truth. And if I could do that , I might actually be able to put an end to this war.

My palms pressed against the door and I opened my eyes as I pushed away from it. A sense of determination and resolve gradually replaced my confusion and uncertainty.

I would allow this relationship to continue, and if he did propose, I would accept. Yes, it meant never returning to my clan and committing to a life within these stone walls, but that was a small price to pay if I could save my people.