The Gifted Heart (Marks of Inheritance: The Orkeia Cycle #1)

16. Light in the Shadows

Chapter sixteen

Light in the Shadows

T he days following were unbearably monotonous: I woke up, Abi prepared me for the day and served breakfast, I attended my lessons with Miss Grayson, Abi brought lunch, we continued my lessons, and I ate dinner with the king and whomever else happened to be present. Some days I took a walk in the gardens with Kiernan on his request, and others I returned to my room directly after dinner. When I did walk with Kiernan, Abi was always in my room the moment he was down the hall, pressing me for details. When I didn’t, Isaiah escorted me to my room, ‘subtly’ trying to discover my feelings toward the king.

I didn’t tell him about my resolution. I was sure he would be against it. But as the days had passed, I had just become more committed to my decision. If Kiernan proposed, I would accept and face whatever consequences came. If he accepted me, we would work together to stop this war. If he didn’t, I would die for my people.

But as almost a month passed, my decision became less and less about ending the war. Surprisingly and almost against my will, I found myself falling for him. He was even more charming than Neal and never let a moment pass without doting on me with gifts or compliments. He even stole me away from my lessons on occasion, for which I was eternally grateful. More and more I caught myself blushing in his presence, and soon enough I had convinced myself that he was courting me for more than my looks. In my heart, I had come to believe that he would accept me as a witch .

We spent many hours together in the library, pouring over books together. He told me about his ancestors and folklore his mother had relayed to him when he was young. One of them was a legend about the Mother of the Sea raising Orkeia’s islands from beneath the surface to provide protection from the Father of Storms. In the story, there was even a large sea serpent that the Father of Storms created to sink the ships of local fishermen. As I listened, my eyes widened.

“That sounds like the story of Hanson,” I said before I could stop myself.

He paused, looking up from the book he was holding. “Hanson?”

Realizing my mistake, I shifted in my seat, nervously tucking a loose curl behind my ear. His curiosity was apparent, and I knew that there wasn’t a way out of explaining myself.

“A legendary sorcerer,” I muttered.

Kiernan cocked an eyebrow. “A sorcerer?”

“Yes, I—I heard the story while I was with the clan,” I said, clasping my hands in my lap and attempting to remain casual. “It’s very similar. This sorcerer used his Gift to darken the moon in order to weaken a sea serpent terrorizing the region, then lifted an island from the ocean floor to bury it forever and keep the people safe.”

I watched his reaction carefully. His eyebrow remained raised, but I wasn’t sure if it was in an incredulous expression or one of interest.

“His Gift?”

“That’s what they call their powers,” I said, just managing to catch myself before saying ‘we’ by accident.

“Fascinating,” he muttered. His expression softened, and he briefly stared at the window in thought. I unclasped my hands, the tension in my shoulders slowly starting to relax.

“What else did you learn about their legends and customs?” he asked, bringing his gaze back to mine. He then added, “Of course, if it’s painful to remember, please don’t feel any obligation to talk about it.”

“No, I—no, I don’t mind at all,” I blurted out, perhaps a little too quickly. My heart was suddenly beating harder against my chest, but I tried to hide my excitement. This was a golden opportunity to begin to change his perspective on who the Gifted really were.

I was careful about how I told the stories. Some of the details I left vague on purpose, not wanting to try to give him too much to process all at once. It was clear that he knew almost nothing about how magic worked, which shouldn’t have really surprised me. After all, all he’d known was the destruction the evil sorcerer, Pious, had caused when he overthrew the kingdom. To him, there hadn’t been much reason to study more about the nature of Gifts—it was more important to eliminate the perceived threat of magic from the land. But even with his comparative ignorance, he expressed that some of the stories were very similar to ones his mother had told him, even pulling out books from the library’s collection to show them to me.

That night, we were both deep in thought as he accompanied me back to my quarters. Making connections between our two cultures was illuminating. We had each grown up in a world where they were kept starkly separate, but clearly that hadn’t always been the case. If so many of our respective legends shared similar themes and characters, they had to have come from a common source.

Desperately, I wished I had my summoning candles so I could ask Hanson personally about what society had been like when he was alive. But while that was currently impossible, I had the next best thing.

Once Kiernan bid me goodnight, I shut my door and rushed to retrieve the fragile book from under my bed. I had been kept busy enough in the past month that I hadn’t had the energy or time to begin to delve into Kindra’s record, but even more than before I felt eager to learn as much as I could about her and Hanson.

Sitting on the floor, I opened it on my lap. Reading the first sentence again, I shivered and turned the page in anticipation.

‘I met my husband when I was thirteen years old. He had been the Father of his clan for a year but still hadn’t chosen a counselor. For some reason, just months after my family joined the clan he approached me and asked if I would fill the position. I initially refused, feeling he should have a counselor who was older and wiser, but eventually accepted the offer. To my surprise, my parents and the rest of the clan supported his decision, and we began working together.’

I reread the paragraph once, surprised. I hadn’t realized how young Hanson was when he became Father of his clan, and thirteen was extremely young for Kindra to be called as a counselor. A counselor is not only someone who supports and advises the Father or Mother of the clan, but they are also the one who’s in charge if the Father or Mother is unavailable for any reason. The way Kindra described the role sounded more like a marriage, the wife supporting and advising her husband, even before the two of them were actually married.

She described the workings and some of the history of her people. After a year, the Mother white witch of the clan died of natural causes, and the talisman chose Kindra in her place. Reading her reflections on how unprepared she felt was very familiar, and I had to pause for a moment and close my eyes as I remembered Sybil, her sacrifice, the confrontation with Ethel, and so much more that had happened while I was living with the Grison clan.

For a brief moment, I questioned my resolve to stay here, my heart aching to find them again. But I knew that ultimately, the best thing I could do for them—and the rest of the Gifted people living in Orkeia—was continue to develop my relationship with Kiernan and help him see the true nature of magic.

I was a bit surprised when Kindra mentioned some of the Ungifted members of their clan. I almost didn’t catch the reference, since it was treated casually and normal. It confirmed the suspicions I’d had as Kiernan and I exchanged stories in the library, and I frowned to myself, wondering how and when things changed and the people separated.

If we’d lived together in harmony once, was it possible for us to do that again?

I read until my eyelids drooped so much that I could no longer continue. Carefully, I hid the book under my bed once more, eager to resume reading it the following day. Almost as soon as I climbed into bed, I was fast asleep, dreaming of a day when Gideon, Neal, Shae, and Jo could live in the city with me, free to practice magic among the Ungifted. It seemed so real, and I did everything I could to remain asleep when the sunlight shone through my windows.

“No lessons today,” Abi was saying. “Miss Grayson said she’s not feeling well, but I expect she’s just tired of you. I told her you wouldn’t mind.”

“Then what in the world are you waking me up for,” I grumbled, only partially sarcastic.

“I’ve already let you sleep in much too late,” she grinned, setting what was clearly lunch and not breakfast in front of me. “I was starting to worry you were never going to wake up.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to,” I grumbled, taking a bite of the delicious salmon on my plate. The image of Gideon’s smile and Neal’s wicked grin were still fresh in my mind, and I stared longingly out the window.

If Abi noticed my wistfulness, she didn’t say anything as she opened my wardrobe.

“The king’s having a private dinner with his captains tonight,” she informed me. “So what do you say we pick out something for you to explore in?”

In the occasional moments when I wasn’t occupied with lessons or spending time with Kiernan, Abi had taken it upon herself to show me more of the secret passageways in the castle. The more time I spent in them, the more comfortable I was, and it was exciting sneaking around the castle unnoticed. Besides, Abi always made good company, and I had to admit that it was entertaining to listen in on the conversations of the servants and knights.

I smiled at her idea and stood, moving to her side at the wardrobe. “I’ll wear the yellow one,” I suggested. “I would love an excuse to dirty it up.”

She laughed and pulled it out. “It’s beautiful!”

“It makes me look like a ghost.” And I should know .

“Well, I don’t know how dirty you’ll get,” she said, laying it on my bed and unlacing the back. “I’ve spent most of your lesson time in the last couple weeks cleaning out the passageways. ”

“Oh, well, I’ll just have to deal with the clean,” I joked as I took off my nightgown and stepped into the dress. As always, I was careful to make sure that my underclothes stayed secure so Abi wouldn’t catch a glimpse of my mark.

She spent minimal time on my hair, pulling it back with a ribbon matching the dress and letting some curls hang in the front. “Have you been to the watchtower passageways yet?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You didn’t show me those.”

“They’re a little tight,” she shrugged. “But you’ll fit. The greatest thing about them is that there are small holes in the walls. It’s fascinating to see what the guards do when they think no one’s watching.”

She winked, and I couldn’t help but giggle. “Then what are we waiting for?”

We walked into the hall, trying to appear casual. I followed Abi down the stairs and toward the dining hall, nodding politely to those we passed. When there was no one around, Abi opened up a small concealed doorway near the watchtowers. I entered first, and she closed the door lightly behind us just as footsteps were heard coming down the hall.

“That was close,” she chuckled, keeping her voice low. “All right, shall we stay on this level or go up the stairs?”

I was still listening to the footsteps. There were at least two people walking together, and I could vaguely hear their conversation. Though I couldn’t make out the words, I thought I recognized Kiernan’s voice, and I bit my lip. I knew I should allow him his privacy, but I couldn’t help the pull of curiosity I felt as I strained to hear what he was saying.

“Are there any places to look out close by?” I whispered.

Abi nodded and squeezed past me, leading me to the hole. As we drew closer, it was easier to hear the conversation. The voice was definitely Kiernan’s. When we reached the opening, I knelt and looked through, waiting for the men to appear.

“—quite the coincidence, don’t you think?” he was saying.

“Lies and deceit,” came Lewin’s rough voice. He sounded particularly sour this morning, and when he moved into view, there was a clear, angry grimace on his face. “You don’t really think we have anything in common with those heathens, do you?”

“I don’t know,” Kiernan sighed as he came into view. “Kenna seems to think so.”

“And why should you consider that? She was their prisoner. No doubt they fed her those lies and warped her mind to have pity for them. For all we know, they deliberately left her behind to send her here with lies in her head as a plot to sow seeds of doubt in our cause.”

Kiernan’s lips tightened into a frown and he stopped walking, luckily still within view of the hole. “I trust her, Lewin. She is of sound mind.”

“Can you really be sure of that?” said Lewin, turning to face him. The speech sounded rehearsed. “We know nothing about her past. The only source we have for her lineage is her uncle, if he even is who he claims to be, and he hasn’t told us anything other than claiming she was abducted as a child when her parents were killed. He has given no details to us about who they were or how they died.”

“And why should those details matter? Isn’t her character more important?”

There was a long pause before Lewin spoke again. “Kiernan,” he said in a warning tone, almost sounding like a father ready to scorn his child. “Don’t tell me that the rumors are true.”

“What rumors?” Kiernan said.

“Rumors of your intentions to court and marry this woman,” he said, his voice dripping with disdain.

My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should leave at this point, but even if I’d been capable of pulling myself away from the conversation, Abi was directly behind me, and she didn’t seem at all inclined to move.

Kiernan stiffened, standing up a little straighter. “That’s not really any of your business,” he said firmly.

Despite the king’s tone, Lewin was undeterred. He straightened as well, clearly trying to exert control over the situation. I remembered vaguely what Isaiah had said about Lewin heavily influencing Kiernan to declare war against magic, and my stomach turned in my chest. This man was trying to control the kingdom from the shadows and take advantage of Kiernan’s youth. My fear and hatred of him only increased as I thought of how much damage he’d caused, not just to the kingdom, but to Kiernan and his perceptions.

“Forgive me, Kiernan,” Lewin said, not sounding sorry for what he was about to say in the slightest, “but the queen should be someone with noble ancestry, not an orphan of no particular background.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Captain, I’m an orphan as well.”

“Her blood is not noble, Your Majesty.”

“And there was one time in history when the blood of my ancestors was not noble,” Kiernan retorted matter-of-factly.

“There are plenty of suitable young women with noble heritage across the kingdom eager to catch your eye. Lady Ina, for instance—”

“Yes, too eager,” Kiernan said bitterly. “They’re interested in the throne. Kenna’s different. She’s interested in me.”

The fondness in the way he said my name made my chest tighten and blood rush to my cheeks.

“You don’t know that for certain,” Lewin warned.

Kiernan straightened once more. “You haven’t spent time with her, Captain. I have. I know her character. She is kind and considerate. She cares about even those who have hurt her. And while she may not be as refined as Lady Ina, she is certainly more noble of heart. She is exactly the type of person I want at my side leading the kingdom.”

There was a very long moment of silence at this, Lewin’s eyes narrowing. “You are decided, then,” he said grimly.

“Yes. I love her.”

The firmness with which he said it seemed to surprise even Kiernan. We could have heard a pin drop in the silence. Lewin seemed too taken aback to respond. I couldn’t have made a sound had I wanted to, because I could barely breathe.

“Love is a strong word, don’t you think?” the captain said carefully.

“It’s the truth,” Kiernan said. His thoughts were moving away from the tension of the beginning of their conversation, and I saw his eyes begin to shine as he looked past Lewin down the hall. “I love her,” he repeated, a note of excitement in his voice.

“Consider this, Kiernan,” Lewin said, changing his tactic. “How do you know she returns your feelings? You are the king after all, and it would be easy for any woman to receive you, however she felt.”

“There’s only one way to find out, then, isn’t there?”

Without another word, Kiernan walked past the captain with purposeful steps, moving out of the watchtowers and in the direction of my room. Lewin stood stunned, his expression hardening in the silence. Then, with determination written on his face, he hurried after his king. Abi and I were rooted to the spot, staring breathless at where they had been.

“Let’s go,” Abi whispered excitedly. “We can get there just after he does—”

“No,” I managed to breathe, sliding down the wall and sitting on the ground. “I can’t.”

Her mouth hung open. “Why? He’s going to tell you he loves you!”

“But he’ll expect me to say it back.”

Abi shut her mouth tightly and joined me on the floor. “And you don’t love him?”

My fingers shook, and I grasped them together in my lap to try to stop the tremors. “I don’t know.”

Hearing him say those words had sent my thoughts into a spiral. On the one hand, my heart had started to race with excitement. This was what I had wanted, wasn’t it? To win him over so he would see me for what I really was? And I couldn’t deny that the more time I spent with him, the more I’d come to care for him, regardless of his status as king.

But even when I was with Kiernan, sometimes his eyes would remind me of Gideon, or the touch of his hand would bring back memories of Neal and the last moments we shared. Hearing Kiernan say those words brought so much doubt into my mind about my own feelings and if they could match what I had felt for Neal in that moment.

I’d never been so confused.

I could tell Abi wanted to say more and prod about what I was thinking and feeling, but I was grateful that she didn’t. Eventually, I stood, my legs sore from the awkward position I’d been sitting in, and exited the tunnels into the main halls. Abi followed, and I was extremely relieved when we didn’t cross paths with Kiernan, or anyone else for that matter.

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked, breaking the silence as we entered my room.

I hugged myself tightly, sitting on the edge of my bed and staring out the window. “I think I need to be alone for a while,” I muttered.

She hesitated but gave a slow nod. “I’ll bring up your dinner in a few hours. Anything else I can do for you?”

I shook my head. She opened her mouth to speak again, but bit her lip instead. Hiding her concern, she left the room, leaving me alone in my thoughts. Desperate to quiet them, I tried to sleep, but seeing as it was the middle of the day, that was impossible. Not knowing what else to do and not wanting to grapple with my conflicting emotions, I took Kindra’s book out once more and opened it to where I had left off.

‘While he was already a talented sorcerer and very talented at manipulating the elements, Hanson eventually admitted to me that he wasn’t sure what his Gift actually was. He said that using his magic didn’t feel as innate and natural as others made it sound like it should and it took a great deal of practice and focus for him to use it.

‘I suggested he might have Varan’s gift, power over the universe. Hanson was understandably incredulous, but I searched the other worlds anyway and was not disappointed. Varan was waiting for me when I arrived in the Land of the Saved. He told me I was correct, that Hanson was his descendant and had the same power he held. I was tasked with helping Varan mentor him by relaying messages back and forth, teaching Hanson how to control his gift and telling Varan what he was struggling with.’

Once again, I was struck by the similarities between her story and my own. My grip on the book tightened as I thought of Gideon and the hours I’d spent with him on his lessons. But as I sat there, my thoughts quickly wandered away from his lessons to other moments we had shared, simple moments when we were walking along the beach or enjoying a meal together. I felt tears begin to form in my eyes and carefully shut Kindra’s book, not wanting to wet any of the pages and not sure I could emotionally continue to read—at least not now. It was too painful to remember everything I had lost and everything I was giving up.

Picking up the book had been the exact wrong thing to do to try to distract myself. More than ever, my thoughts were split between life here in the castle and life with my former clan. Neal, Gideon, and Kiernan’s faces all swam in my mind at once, and I felt the tears roll down my cheek as I shut my eyes tightly.

Why did this have to hurt so much?

As my emotions began to overwhelm me, the air seemed to turn cold. At first I hardly noticed it, since my body shook regardless of any change in temperature. But when I opened my eyes, I couldn’t deny that there had been a sudden shift in the amount of light in the room. I could still see the sun high in the sky out of the window, but the room was filling with darkness.

I realized what was happening just as an icy cold hand with impossibly long fingers clutched my throat from behind. A strangled gasp left my lips as I tried to stand and pull myself away from the presence, but I couldn't move. My vision began to darken as a black, suffocating mist surrounded me. I tried desperately to summon my strength and thrash against the evil power that held me in place, opening my mouth to scream but unable to make a sound. The icy grip enveloped me and, in addition to being cold, became sharp. I felt deep gashes form on my arms and chest, the pain intensified by the cold.

My lungs begged for air, and it took every ounce of what I had left to lift my arms from my sides and extend my fingers. In what I was sure would be my last moments of life, I silently cried out to the Giftgiver, pulling the magic inside me from deep within and willing with all my might for it to banish this presence.

The room exploded in light, and a terrible, rattling scream filled my mind, more terrible than I had heard it before. For an instant, I saw in my mind the horrible forest in the Land of the Lost and felt myself being dragged down into a deep, endless pit within it. As suddenly as it had appeared, the vision was gone, and I collapsed, unconscious.

***

“Kenna! Kenna, what happened?”

Abi’s frantic voice was the first thing to hit my senses. The second was her shaking fingers fumbling at my wrist for a pulse. When I managed to open my eyes, she let out a choked sob of relief.

I looked down at my body. Blood dripped from beneath my sleeves and stained the yellow bodice. The cuts had penetrated beneath my clothing but hadn’t disturbed the fabric. They stung horribly, and I gasped as I attempted to sit up, wincing in pain.

Clearly panicking, Abi reached for the rope next to my bed. I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach and instinctively reached out to stay her hand, wrapping my fingers around her wrist.

“Abi—don’t—”

“We need to get a nurse,” she insisted shakily.

“Please! I’ll—I’ll be fine.”

I was sure I was unconvincing, but I had to try regardless. It would be clear to anyone who saw me that this attack had been magical in nature, and I couldn’t afford to let Kiernan get word of it and double down on his previously conceived notions about the Gifted. He would attribute this to some witch or sorcerer targeting me, perhaps in an effort to hurt him, and I didn’t know how I could possibly explain to him that it had been something entirely different without revealing my abilities—something I didn’t think he was ready for just yet.

“Kenna, you’re bleeding all over,” Abi breathed, clearly thinking I was just in shock. Once again she reached for the rope, but I summoned my energy and took both of her hands in mine as I sat the rest of the way up.

“I know,” I stammered. “Just—help me get out of this dress. ”

Her eyes kept darting to the rope, but at least for the moment she relented. I winced as I stood, shaking more from the turmoil of the experience than the pain. The yellow dress was definitely ruined from the amount of blood soaking the inside, and I heard Abi take in a sharp breath when the cuts that were the source of it were revealed.

“We need to clean these cuts,” she said, her voice insistent and determined. “You need a nurse.”

“Wait,” I pleaded.

I shut my eyes tightly, focusing on my breathing to keep it steady. In the pit of my stomach and on the edge of my fingers, something tingled. The feeling began to spread up my arms, then down my chest and torso towards my legs. A warm, soothing sensation accompanied it, and Abi gasped as she released me. I heard her stumble backwards, something falling off of my nightstand as she bumped against it.

When I opened my eyes, the stinging from the cuts on my body had subsided. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, looking down at my arms. The cuts that had been there before had disappeared. The only evidence I had been injured was the blood smeared on my now undamaged skin.

“What just happened?” Abi breathed.

I looked at her and saw that now she was shaking. Her eyes were wide with shock, fear, and wonder. I opened my mouth to try to think of a way to respond, but the truth was, I didn’t exactly understand what had happened myself.

“You—you started to glow,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “And then the cuts just—they just faded. It—it was—”

“It was magic,” I finished, trying to stop myself from shaking.

The fear in her eyes at those words was unmistakable. My lips quivered as I gently took a hold of her hands.

“I’m fine, Abi,” I said as calmly as I could. “I promise.”

She didn’t look at all convinced, and I could tell she was resisting the urge to run for help. There was no choice but to tell her the truth, and she deserved to know.

I sighed. “You may want to sit down.”