The Gifted Heart (Marks of Inheritance: The Orkeia Cycle #1)

18. A Courtly Dance

Chapter eighteen

A Courtly Dance

I shouldn’t have been surprised when Abi burst into my room unannounced. In retrospect, she obviously had been spying on us, and she even brought a handful of towels without even being asked. I had to shush her multiple times to keep her squeals of excitement and delight from escaping into the hallway and attracting the attention of anyone who might happen to be nearby. To be fair, I had to suppress plenty of my own as well. For the moment, the fact that he didn’t know about my Gift didn’t seem to matter, and Abi’s fears that he would reject me when I told him were replaced with enthusiastic confidence that the opposite would be true.

If I thought Kiernan had paid me attention before, it was nothing compared to after we kissed. He took me out of my lessons early more frequently, much to Miss Grayson’s chagrin, and it became customary for us to have breakfast together. With the celebration of Orkeia’s founding approaching, dinner was held in the dining hall with any visiting lords and ladies, but that didn’t stop us from spending time together in the evenings. He almost always stole me away immediately after the meal, no matter who wanted to speak with him. According to Abi, this caused whispers of his intentions to quickly spread through the castle. I saw Lewin scowl every time we left together, but I pretended not to notice. If Kiernan wasn’t going to pay him any mind, neither would I.

Of course, the days were still busy, for both of us. Miss Grayson tested me daily about each of the nobles, where they were from, and their genealogies. Economics was a high topic of study as well, since she assumed there would be people discussing it with me at the celebration. She also pointed out who might be most likely to start these conversations, a rare kind gesture from her. All of the lords of the various isles and many of the nobles would be attending, along with the higher ranked knights, and I was expected to know all of them.

On top of all this, she brought in one of the king’s servants, Franklin, and had me practice the dances with him. They were all far too difficult to be enjoyable. I kept tripping over the train of my dress (which Miss Grayson insisted could not be shortened) and falling off beat. Her pursed lips each time we had to start over told me she expected me to fail miserably.

As the day approached, I grew more and more nervous. I knew everyone would be watching me closely to determine if I was worthy to become queen, and Miss Grayson’s apparent doubts that I would be able to impress them made me feel less and less confident. Ironically, the only person I wasn’t worried about assessing my performance was the king himself.

It didn’t help that I hadn’t had an actual conversation with any of the lords and ladies yet, despite having dinner with them as they arrived. In the beginning, they just hadn’t paid me any mind. After they began to notice my relationship with Kiernan, I received considerably more curious glances (and sometimes jealous ones from the young ladies), but Kiernan was still the one the lords were eager to ingratiate themselves to and engage in conversation. The night before the ball, I mentioned this to him in passing as we strolled through the garden, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Goodness, Kenna, why didn’t you say anything?” he said with a frown. “I can’t believe I haven’t formally introduced you to anyone!”

“It’s nothing, Kiernan,” I insisted. “I’ll meet them at the celebration tomorrow.”

He shook his head, a smile creeping up his lips. “All the same, you’d probably prefer to only be forced to socialize with them for one night.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “They can’t all be that horrible. ”

“They’re rich, power-hungry members of society,” he grumbled. “Whatever I feel for you, I’m sorry you’ll have to deal with them.”

My cheeks burned and I looked toward the paved pathway under my feet. It was the first time he’d hinted at my future as queen in any of our conversations. Gently, he lifted my face with his right hand, coaxing me to look into his eyes.

“I love you,” he said quietly. “But if this isn’t what you want—if the pressure of life here feels like it’s too much—I would never force you into something you don’t want to do. I want you to know that.”

I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed him lightly, reassuring him. In response, he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into a more passionate kiss.

***

Miss Grayson had ordered a new dress for me to wear at the celebration. I’d expected it to be as austere and stiff as she was, but when I finally saw it, I was pleasantly surprised. The gown was a deep green color, its silky fabric flowing in waves down to the floor. Delicate embroidery swirled in intricate patterns along the hem, cuffs, and bodice like golden vines. A train trailed gracefully on the ground, adorned with the same golden motifs.

It was truly a gown fit for a queen.

I tried to calm myself as I ran my hand along the fitted bodice, taking in my reflection in the mirror. Looking the part was just the beginning. For the first time, everyone was going to see me in a formal, high social situation. There was no reason I should be nervous about what Kiernan thought of me, but I still was.

Abi put my hair up in a very traditional style, pulling back part of the hair in braids before pinning the rest into a loose bun. Though I preferred to have my hair free to lie where it may, I had to admit that a more casual style would have been woefully out of place with the elegant dress. As a final added touch, I put on the emerald he’d given me the night we kissed .

Hopefully I would be able to fit in.

My father knocked on the door, and Abi let him in. He was dressed in full knight regalia, complete with a new blue and gold tunic portraying a seahawk. I knew he was still uncomfortable with my decision to stay and encourage this relationship, but he smiled when he saw me all the same, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“You look beautiful, Kenna,” he said warmly.

“Have a good evening, M’Lady,” Abi said, curtsying. I nodded to her as she left, barely catching a glimpse of her winking at me. My father still didn’t know how close Abi and I were, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to know. If he found out that I’d told her my secret, I would never hear the end of it.

“Shall we go?” he asked, offering his arm to me. I smiled and took it, allowing him to lead me to the dining area.

We would be dining in the hall that exited into the gardens for the celebration. After the meal the tables would be cleared and the ball would begin. I was surprised Kiernan wasn’t using the larger and more decorative throne room for the actual ball, but he seemed to prefer to have the option to escape to the gardens.

We were announced as “Sir Balton and his niece, Lady Kenna.” Hardly anyone reacted to my father’s name, but everyone’s heads turned at mine. I took in a deep breath through my nose and straightened a bit more as I walked, attempting to appear confident and composed. Kiernan smiled as I approached, kissing my hand when I curtsied to him. I heard a few whispers when the two of us maintained eye contact, but it didn’t faze either of us. In fact, I think at this point Kiernan would have been uncomfortable if I looked away from him.

Isaiah gave a deep bow and stepped off slightly to the side, but he still hovered protectively nearby. Kiernan remained at my side as guests continued to be announced. Taking comfort from his presence, I surveyed the crowd. Many of the ladies glanced at me before quickly whispering to one another, and I squirmed a bit where I stood. One woman in particular couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off me, and her gaze was less than friendly .

I recognized her at once from the portraits, thanks to Miss Grayson’s endless tutoring. She was Lady Ina, daughter of Lord Everett and Lady Nerissa, who ruled over Orkeia’s most northern island, Roldsay. I remembered that Lewin had mentioned her as an alternative prospect to me when speaking with Kiernan, and with a start I remembered that she had also been the woman who glared at me during the first banquet I attended in the castle—when I danced with Kiernan for the first time.

She was a generally attractive woman, about my age, but living so far north brought a coldness to her appearance that wasn’t tempered by her demeanor. Because of the lack of sun and warmth, her skin was paler than candle wax, and her white blonde hair, pulled back in a tighter style than mine, looked as if it would lay completely flat against her head were it let down. She had a long neck and seemed to be trying to make it longer as she stared at me through the crowd.

Kiernan noticed my gaze and turned. When he saw Ina, his smile faltered. But I didn’t get the chance to ask him about her before a tall, brunette man strode up to us.

“Your Majesty!” he said loudly, bowing deeply to Kiernan, almost to the point of mocking the action. “And Lady Kenna!” He straightened only to bow deeply once more, taking my hand in his and kissing it slightly longer than I was comfortable with.

“Kenna,” Kiernan said, composing himself. “May I introduce you to—”

“Lord Hamon,” he interrupted, smiling widely. “Very pleased to make your acquaintance.”

My lips curved into an amused smile. “Pleased to meet you as well, Sir Hamon,” I said.

He raised his eyebrows. “I think you mean ‘Lord.’”

“Oh, my apologies,” I said innocently. “Did something happen to your brother? I was under the impression Lord Kaden still held the title. Have you and Sophronia moved to Fain? You were living in the city before, correct?”

I suppressed a chuckle at Kiernan’s smirk, still feigning innocence. Hamon opened his mouth to respond, but closed it quickly. A sly smile formed on his face and he nodded to Kiernan before returning to his wife’s side on the other end of the room. Kiernan chuckled.

“You passed his test,” he whispered. “Hamon’s one of my oldest friends, and he’s taken it upon himself to make sure you’ve been studying well.”

“They’re not all that bad, then.”

Kiernan shook his head. “Hamon still wants power—he’d love to rule his brother’s island—but he’s a good man at heart. At least, I can tolerate him more than once a year.”

I smiled wryly, quickly returning my attention to the guests. Now that Hamon had spoken to me, everyone else felt comfortable enough to introduce themselves. Lord Kaden did come up, warning me not to believe a word his brother spoke. I hid my laughter.

After a few minutes, the men surrounded Kiernan and the women pulled me away. All of them had very similar gowns, mostly in the kingdom’s colors of blue and gold, and I couldn’t help but feel a little out of place wearing green. I wondered why Miss Grayson had chosen it.

The only woman not joining the group was Ina, and it wasn’t hard to guess why. Her eyes darted from me to Kiernan, always lingering on Kiernan with longing and me with contempt.

“So, Kenna,” one of the ladies said suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. It was Lady Eloise of the southern island, Caldsen. “Which house do you descend from?”

“I’m an orphan, Lady Eloise,” I said calmly. “I never knew my parents.”

She raised her eyebrows. “But surely your uncle has told you your lineage.”

“He doesn’t know it,” I said, receiving a few odd glances. “If there is nobility in me, it’s in my mother’s line.”

“Then why on earth are you living in the castle?” Lady Ariadne blurted out disdainfully. She was Eloise’s sister, and Lady of Terran to the south.

“His Majesty took pity on me,” I said, meeting her eyes as I smiled sweetly. “He invited me to stay here under his protection.”

“Why would you need protection?” asked Lady Rosalyn, surprise in her voice .

I had assumed the story would have already gotten out, so I didn’t know exactly how to respond. They all stared at me as I thought, trying to find wording that would satisfy them and keep me from condemning the Gifted.

“I was kidnapped five years ago,” I finally said. “His Majesty worried the kidnappers would pursue me.”

The women exchanged curious looks, surprisingly disdainful. Except Lady Rosalyn. “That’s dreadful!” she gasped. “I can’t imagine what a struggle you’ve been through!”

“Never mind that, Rosalyn,” Lady Nerissa, Ina’s mother, said coldly. “Tell me, Lady Kenna, how do you think we could speed up the war against magic holders? They’re not being destroyed fast enough.”

The dinner bell relieved me from having to respond. Everyone had finally arrived, and we each found our designated seats at the table. Kiernan sat at the head, of course, and had designated that I would sit directly to his left. Lewin sat to his right, which unfortunately meant every time I looked up I saw his small, dark eyes watching me. If I looked to my right, I met Kiernan’s gaze, and if I looked down the table to the left I met Ina’s. I spent the majority of the meal staring at my food.

When the meal ended, Kiernan clapped loudly, and everyone stood. A servant immediately took the chair I’d been sitting on to the edge of the room. Within minutes, the floor was clear, and the musicians began to play.

No one made any move to dance, however. People were paired off, either with their spouses or acquaintances, but no one moved. I didn’t realize why until Kiernan led me onto the dance floor. He stopped in the center of the room and his strong arm spun me into dancing position.

My feet and legs suddenly felt numb. I’d never completed any of the dances Miss Grayson taught me without either falling down or tripping over myself or my partner. I was dreadfully paranoid of stepping on Kiernan’s feet, but I tried to smile and not let my fear show.

When we actually started dancing, my worries disappeared. From the very first step, Kiernan effortlessly took the lead. I didn’t even have to think about the steps I’d studied for so many hours before performing them—the feeling returned to my legs as he guided me into each move, our two bodies flowing together as one. The room seemed to fall away, and for a moment, it was just the two of us.

When the music ended, he released me, and I curtsied. He led me back to the edge of the room, kissing my hand before finding a new partner for the next dance. I was so entranced as I stared after him that it took me far too long to notice Sir Hamon asking me to be his dancing partner. By the time I was aware of his presence, the dancing had started. He grinned and kindly told me he’d be back later.

It was the only dance I did not participate in. If Kiernan didn’t make his way back to me in time, one of the lords or knights would undoubtedly lead me onto the floor. After the sixth dance, however, Kiernan strode toward me before any of the other men could, smiling as he firmly took my hand in his.

“Don’t get any ideas,” he teased. “I’ll just have anyone you choose killed.”

When I’d first met him I would have taken that statement seriously, but now I couldn’t help but laugh. “Then I shouldn’t tell you that Sir Brenden seemed very keen to steal me away?”

“Sir Brenden would steal any woman away that he could,” he said, not bothering to lower his voice.

“I noticed as much,” I said, chuckling at the disapproving look on Kiernan’s face.

When he heard my laugh, he forgot about his irritation with Brenden and was once more absorbed in the music. For the next four dances, he didn’t even lead me back to the edge of the room, but kept his hand in mine at all times. He was making a statement, not only to Brenden but to everyone else present: he had made his choice, and his mind wouldn’t be changed.

I didn’t realize just how tired I was until we stopped dancing. Even though the music hadn’t stopped, neither Kiernan nor I had had a break, and we both were about to collapse. We passed through the crowd together into the gardens, lit by nothing but dim candles and the moon, bracing ourselves against the cool summer breeze. My hair started to come undone, but I ignored it. As the night progressed, I’d realized that none of the opinions of the nobles mattered to me. All that mattered was him.

“I hope you’re enjoying the celebrations?” Kiernan said as we moved further from the sound of the music behind us.

“Very much,” I responded, a little surprised by how sincere I was. I had expected to be much more nervous around the nobility, but while I could certainly sense judgment from some of the women, the majority of the people I’d interacted with had been pleasant. Part of me wished Miss Grayson was here to see just how successfully I was navigating the social side of things.

“I’m glad,” Kiernan said, moving his arm around my waist as we walked. My smile warmed at the sensation and I leaned slightly into his side.

The happiness I felt was tempered somewhat as my thoughts wandered in the silence. Lady Nerissa’s words about destroying magic holders rang in my mind. In all the time we had been spending together, I still hadn’t told him about my Gift. There had been a few times I’d intended to broach the subject, but I always lost my nerve. I knew he loved me, and I knew he trusted me, but I also knew that he would undoubtedly feel betrayed to learn that, from the very first day I met him, I had been lying to him about something so consequential. The moment to bring it up had to be just right, and I simply hadn’t found it yet.

I tried to push away the intrusive thoughts as we continued our stroll. When we reached the other end of the gardens, he steered me towards one of the benches.

“Would you like to sit down?”

I expected him to sit next to me, but instead he knelt on the ground, taking my hands in his. My heart jumped into my throat and I drew in a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the words to come next, for how I would respond—

“You must be thirsty. Can I get you anything from the ballroom?”

It took me a full minute to respond. His smile grew wider and his eyes twinkled. “Yes, thank you,” I said weakly, still in shock when he stood and walked back toward the castle.

You must be thirsty?

Where had that come from? Had he lost his nerve at the last second? Did he doubt my answer? Could he sense that there was something I was still holding back?

Then I remembered the glint in his eyes, the smile on his face as the confusion on mine increased. When I finally realized what had just happened, I was torn between laughing out loud and yelling after him. I shook my head, chuckling as I plotted how to repay him for his moment of fun.

It occurred to me that he might propose for real at some point in the evening, and my chest tightened. For the most part, I was eager for the proposal. I really did love him, and I was confident in saying yes, even if I hadn’t yet revealed my secret.

But as much as I tried to ignore it, there was still a lingering fear that his love for me wouldn’t be enough to overcome years of hatred towards an entire population of people. Yes, I had seen him soften as time went on, but it would still be a major change to his world view, and one that would have significant political and social consequences. Even if he accepted me , it would just be the first of many, many steps we had to take together to change the perceptions of an entire kingdom.

My thoughts wandered to the fantasy of Gifted and Ungifted living together peacefully in the kingdom, which naturally meant that they made their way towards Neal and Gideon. I felt a pang of guilt as I thought of them, shifting where I sat on the bench. If things had been different—if there had never been a war in the first place and I had met the three of them under the same circumstances—would I still have chosen Kiernan?

Shutting my eyes in an attempt to banish these thoughts, I pulled my shawl tighter around me. It was taking a bit longer for him to return than I had initially expected, but I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised. No doubt someone had pulled him aside at the first opportunity, and he was too polite not to engage in conversation for at least a moment.

Eventually, his voice floated through the silence from the entrance to the ballroom. A woman spoke as well, but I couldn’t make out anything being said. I stood to see over the hedges.

It was Lady Ina. It didn’t surprise me to see her confront him, but I was taken aback by the way she spoke to him. Though I couldn’t understand her words, her tone was harsh and inappropriate for a lady, especially in the presence of the king. Kiernan seemed to be trying to be polite, but he grew impatient as the conversation went on.

Finally he turned away from her, headed toward me. As I watched, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back, kissing him forcefully. He dropped the glass he’d been bringing to me and it shattered as he pushed her away. She stepped toward him, but he held out his hand and shouted at her, his voice angry and powerful. Ina stumbled back.

I turned away and sat back on the bench, doing my best not to listen to his words. If I’d been listening hard enough, I would have been able to hear everything he said, but it didn’t matter to me. What mattered was that he hadn’t welcomed her advances—even when he didn’t know I was watching he had remained faithful to me.

It was then that I resolved that my doubts weren’t going to stand in the way any longer. I had chosen Kiernan, we loved each other, and nothing else mattered. I just had to believe he would still feel the same when he knew the truth.

He returned a while later, a new glass in hand. He smiled as he handed over the refreshment and sat down next to me. If I hadn’t watched the interaction with Ina, I wouldn’t know anything had happened. I decided it would probably be better if I didn’t bring it up.

The rest of the night passed quickly. We did eventually have to return to the ballroom, though I think both of us would have preferred to remain hidden in the gardens. I met more of the nobles and danced with Kiernan until I thought I was going to drop. Overall, I enjoyed myself, but I was grateful when the celebrations died down. I was exhausted, but lingered in the ballroom as it began to empty. Even as Kiernan wished goodnight to the guests, his eyes kept darting to me, and I had the sense he didn’t want me to leave just yet.

My father offered to accompany me back to my room, but I declined, deciding to wait until Kiernan was available to do so. I saw Isaiah’s shoulders tense when I did, and the fatherly concern in his eyes was unmistakable. I couldn’t blame him. As confident as I was that Kiernan would accept my Gift, there was no guarantee I was right. But I had faith that his love for me was strong enough to overcome the shock.

When the last person finally left, Kiernan sighed heavily, turning to me with a tired smile and offering his arm. I mirrored his expression as I took it, shutting my eyes briefly when he kissed my forehead before we made our way into the halls.

He didn’t take the path to my room that I would have expected, apparently wanting to extend the night a little further. I could feel my feet throbbing with each step, but I pushed the sensation aside. I didn’t mind bearing a little more discomfort to spend a few extra minutes with him.

As often was the case, he led me to the towers once more. My lips tingled as they curved into a smile at the memory of our first kiss. Kiernan slid his arm out of mine and around my waist as we paused about halfway across the overlook, facing the garden side of the view. Beyond the castle grounds, flickering lights illuminated various parts of the city below. Though distant, I could hear the sounds of music and laughter in the brightest area, signs of the more local celebration of the kingdom’s founding.

“The people seem to be enjoying themselves,” I remarked, somewhat surprised that the party was still noticeable from this distance at this hour of the night.

“A good celebration does a lot to lift peoples’ spirits,” Kiernan said. “We should hold another one soon.”

I bit the inside of my lip and reached to tuck a loose curl back into my bun. “What did you have in mind?” I asked, feigning ignorance.

“Your uncle tells me your birthday is coming up. That would certainly be a reason to celebrate. ”

“Yes, but how many of the people are really going to care about one person’s birthday?” I said. “It should be something more exciting than that.”

He hummed a bit in response, as if deep in thought. “I suppose you’re right. Perhaps I could organize a special festival. Or a tournament. We haven’t had one in some time, since the majority of the knights have been away from the city.”

“Perhaps,” I muttered.

Slowly, he slipped his arm from my waist and took a small step to the side. “Oh perhaps …”

His voice trailed off. My heart jumped into my throat as his silence prompted me to look away from the view and turn to face him. He was no longer standing.

He was kneeling.

His eyes shone. “I think a wedding would be a grand celebration, if you’ll have me,” he said softly. He took my hands in his, rubbing his thumb across my skin. I felt my eyes begin to well up, but I willed myself to keep my composure, squeezing his hands lightly. There was a shaky edge to his voice as he spoke again.

“Kenna Balton, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

My lips quivered but I shrugged. “I’m not sure I’m very fond of weddings.”

Kiernan blinked, his smile faltering as he stared at me. After an agonizing moment, he caught the glint in my eyes, the same glint that had been in his earlier that evening in the gardens. A laugh of relief escaped his lips and he stood to wrap me in an embrace, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around above the city. The instant my feet were again on the ground, our lips met, and I melted into his arms.

“Yes,” I whispered against his lips as we began to part, to which he responded by immediately resuming the kiss. I’d never imagined I would be this happy when the moment came, but I felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest .

It was hard to say goodnight after that, but we both had to admit that we needed rest after such an eventful day. He escorted me to my room, randomly stopping in the hall to pull me against him and kiss me three more times before we reluctantly parted.

I collapsed on my bed with a wave of elation and exhaustion, and I wasn’t surprised at all when Abi ran into the room just moments later. She squealed and jumped onto my bed, throwing her arms around me. I returned her embrace, laughing with the purest joy.