The Gifted Heart (Marks of Inheritance: The Orkeia Cycle #1)

19. The Weight of the Crown

Chapter nineteen

The Weight of the Crown

P reparations for the wedding started immediately. Over breakfast, Kiernan and I discussed when to have the wedding and decided on two weeks later. When he told Miss Grayson the date, I thought she was going to pass out. She was determined to make sure everything I did on the wedding day was perfect, from what I said to how I said it to who I said it to. I had to practice walking to the altar, practice my curtsy even more, and learn an entire new dance for the reception. Again Franklin helped me, and again he left with bruised feet. Clearly she did not think I was ready to be queen, but her opinion didn’t much matter.

When I wasn’t sequestered in Miss Grayson’s chambers, I made an effort to spend more time with the lords and ladies who remained at the castle. At the announcement of the wedding, most of them had opted to extend their stay rather than travel back to their respective islands only to return two weeks later. Lady Ina and her family were an exception, leaving immediately the morning after the celebration, I presumed at Kiernan’s insistence.

Of all the ladies in the kingdom, Lady Rosalyn was the most agreeable. The other women seemed to think she was too talkative, but I didn’t mind. She was still fairly shallow but in more of a childlike way than the others. Her husband, Logan, was also pleasant to be around. He was by far the least power hungry of all the lords, and he and Kiernan were as close to being friends as Kiernan was with anyone.

That fact bothered me. Kiernan had no real friends—not among his servants, the knights, or the lords. I couldn’t help but wonder if his feelings for me were brought about more because he hadn’t had many social interactions that weren’t guarded. I didn’t think they weren’t genuine—I couldn’t possibly think that—but I made it a personal goal to help him develop other genuine relationships in the future.

Two days after the proposal, a tailor came to take my measurements. She asked me what felt like a million questions about what I wanted, intending to completely personalize the garment for the woman who was going to be queen. I felt overwhelmed and for most of them had no idea how to respond. When she returned a week later with the finished dress, it was worth it. I gazed in awe at the mirror. The dress was covered in the most beautiful lace and beading, and it fit me perfectly, better than any of my other dresses ever had.

My belongings were transferred from my room to the queen’s room in Kiernan’s chambers. For the moment, I had Abi take Kindra’s book for safe keeping, not wanting to risk it being discovered and destroyed. My stomach flipped upside down during this process. I couldn’t doubt his love for me, but the thought of revealing to him who I truly was still made my head feel like it was about to explode. I knew I had to tell him before we were married, or both of us would regret the consequences.

The problem was, we never had a moment alone. We always dined in public, and afterwards were pulled in separate directions. Kiernan worked on planning the banquet and ball while I mingled with the ladies or went back to more lessons with Miss Grayson. We were only together when eating meals and working on the decorations, and servants buzzed around us during both.

But aside from my growing nervousness, it was a happy two weeks. Apparently I had made a good impression with the nobility at the ball and in the following days, or at least if I hadn’t, they were gracious enough to accept Kiernan’s decision. Even Lady Ariadne and Lady Eloise, who had been clearly shocked to learn that I wasn’t of noble blood myself, went out of their way to congratulate me, paying me frequent compliments and expressing that they were certain I would be a wonderful queen. I felt a bit more nervous as I started to truly consider what ‘being queen’ meant, but I decided that was something I could focus on after everything else was taken care of.

The only person clearly unhappy with the match, aside from my father, was Lewin. His scowl deepened every time he saw me and more than once I caught him whispering to Kiernan at meals or in the halls. Kiernan always ignored him, but he seemed to be growing increasingly frustrated at his persistent objections. I didn’t understand why he tolerated the behavior at all. From everything I had seen, Lewin was a manipulative and bloodthirsty man who wanted nothing more than to control the kingdom from the shadows, something I was eager to convince Kiernan to put a stop to.

A few days before the wedding, I desperately needed a break. Abi and I escaped into the passageways during my lessons, laughing as Miss Grayson and my other attendants scrambled around the building to find me. We headed to the library on a whim, snickering as we climbed out of the bookcase that hid the secret door. Abi was about to say something when we heard voices coming from the entrance. Quickly, we scrambled back into the passageway, but instead of running, pressed our ears against the wall.

“It’s Kiernan,” she whispered.

I frowned. “He’s supposed to be meeting with the captains.”

“Your Majesty, I really do need to speak to you,” another man’s voice said.

“And you may, Captain Stole,” Kiernan said. “I just have a couple books I need to find for reference.”

Stole cleared his throat. “You love your betrothed, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Then you would want her to be as safe as possible, wouldn’t you?”

I could hear the frown in his voice. “I don’t see why she would be in any danger.”

The captain took a deep breath. “I believe one of your knights may be plotting her death.”

Kiernan’s footsteps stopped. So did my heart. I heard Abi gasp and she grasped my hand.

“Who might that be?”

I knew the answer before Stole spoke.

“Captain Lewin.”

Kiernan sighed, sounding relieved. “You’re mistaken. Captain Lewin is loyal to me and the crown. He would do nothing to harm Kenna.”

“With all due respect, Your Majesty, I’m not so certain that’s true. He’s openly against this union.”

“As he’s made known to me, many times. But I’ve made it clear to him that his opinions on the matter are irrelevant.”

“But Your Majesty—”

“I’ve heard enough of this, Captain Stole,” Kiernan said, his voice growing more stern. “Captain Lewin’s concerns are based on me being hasty, and since I have made my thoughts clear on the matter he has nothing more to fear. Concern yourself with the security during the wedding service rather than accusing one of your fellow officers of such a thing.”

Stole didn’t say anything else, and soon we heard their footsteps leaving the library. I leaned against the wall, letting out a deep breath. Abi didn’t let go of my hand.

“Do you think Kiernan’s right?” Abi said, her eyes full of concern.

I bit my lip. “I certainly hope so.”

“Lady Kenna!” a voice called from the entrance to the library. “Are you in here?”

Abi and I chuckled, shaking off our feelings of uneasiness, and hurried back down the passageway.

** *

The day before the wedding was the most hectic. I spent almost all day in Miss Grayson’s room, being tested and retested over everything she’d taught me during my entire time at the castle. I was shocked when, just before I left for the evening, she smiled and let her always crossed arms fall to her sides.

“You will make a fine queen, Lady Kenna,” she said, curtsying deeply, avoiding eye contact. “I look forward to serving you.”

A knot caught in my throat. I could feel her sincerity, and all the stress from those lessons melted away in that moment.

“Thank you,” I stammered, not knowing what else to say. She curtsied again as Abi knocked on the door.

I wasn’t supposed to see Kiernan the day before the wedding. It was some silly tradition I had no intention of following. I needed to speak with him before the ceremony in the morning—he couldn’t marry me without knowing the truth. I had tried desperately to catch him after dinner the last few nights, but inevitably one of us had been pulled in another direction before I could actually approach the subject privately. It was now or never.

“He’s dining with the lords right now,” Abi whispered as Miss Grayson’s door closed. “When the meal is finished, he’ll most likely go for a walk along the towers as usual. You wait there, and I’ll watch for him.”

I hugged her tightly and hurried to the tower. As I waited, I played out the conversation in my mind, preparing myself for two different scenarios. I believed and desperately hoped he would understand, however hard it was for him, but the fear grew ever stronger that he wouldn’t be able to overcome years of building hatred and fear.

Hurried steps came down the hall and Abi poked her head through the doorway and winked. Kiernan was on his way. The butterflies in my stomach multiplied to an immeasurable number. I took a hold of the tower edge, steadying myself. As always, the waves of the ocean beat against the cliffs in an almost hypnotic fashion. I closed my eyes, the sound bringing me back to years and years of living on a beach, first with Elizabeth and then with the Grisons. Everything about my life and expectations had changed. If my worldview could alter so drastically, surely Kiernan’s could as well.

My eyes were still closed when he came outside, and I heard his footsteps stop.

“Kenna,” he said, torn between surprise and delight. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in bed.”

I smiled softly as I turned and opened my eyes to meet his eyes, trying to take comfort in the thought I had just had and remain calm. “I needed to see you.”

He smirked. “We’re not supposed to see each other tonight.”

“Too late,” I said. He laughed, and my nerves subsided. He closed the distance between us and wrapped me in his arms.

“Is everything all right? Are you satisfied with the flower arrangements? I know you spent a lot of time planning the decoration for the ballroom—”

“Everything’s wonderful,” I said sincerely. “There’s just … something I need to tell you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What is it, Love?”

I took a deep breath, trying to remember how I’d decided to start the conversation. He waited patiently. I focused on how strong he felt holding me there, feeling another dose of comfort as his hand gently rubbed my back.

“There’s something you don’t know about me,” I started. “When the Knights found me six months ago, I—”

“ What in the world are you doing out here ?”

Both of us whirled around to see Miss Grayson storming over to us, her eyes furious. Kiernan released me instantly, stepping backward out of surprise and a small amount of fear.

“You’re supposed to be in bed!” she exclaimed. “Your Majesty, you should know better than this! It’s bad luck to see the bride the night before the wedding!”

“Miss Grayson—”

“You’re coming with me right now,” she said, interrupting her king without a second thought and taking a hold of my arm. “I can’t believe you would disregard something as simple as not seeing him for one night. ”

Kiernan stood back in surprise as we left. I had no choice but to let Miss Grayson lead me back to my room, scolding me the entire way. I couldn’t speak to Kiernan in the presence of anyone else, not about this.

It was the most sleepless night of my life. Despite Abi’s comforting words, I tossed and turned, haunted with nightmares of him drawing his sword as soon as I revealed my secret and killing me in front of all the guests. I was drenched in sweat when I awoke.

I lay awake in my bed for hours before hearing a knock. I hurried to make myself presentable, but as soon as I opened the door, I regretted it. A throng of maids and attendants stormed into my room, pinching and prodding every part of me, hurriedly feeding me breakfast, forcing me into my wedding gown, and confirming decoration choices. It was unbearable. People pulled at the hair on my head at the exact same time that others pinched my cheeks. My attendants put accessories on my wrists, neck, and anywhere else they could. I took deep breaths and tried to relax, but nothing helped. By the time I was completely dressed and ready, I felt too dizzy to stand, let alone walk to the altar.

The dizziness left at the sight of my reflection. The dress was just as beautiful as I remembered, with gold, swirling details against the white of the fabric. The intricate circlet braided into my hair fit perfectly, and for once I didn’t mind having my hair pulled up. I wore a beautiful pearl necklace and earrings, and my shoes were surprisingly comfortable for their elegance.

As I stared in disbelief at my reflection, hardly recognizing myself, Abi answered a knock on my door. My father entered, dressed in a light blue tunic with gold embellishments. Through my nerves, I smiled at him. To my surprise, he smiled as well.

He approached and took my hands in his. “My, you look like your mother. Of course, she was dressed simpler than you, but I had never seen anyone so beautiful—until now.”

A knot formed in my throat and I squeezed his hands. Lovingly, he kissed my cheek and took my arm, leading me to the entryway. The wedding was being held on the front steps of the castle so all the citizens of the city—carefully controlled by Kiernan’s personal guard—could watch through the gates if they so wished. The lords, ladies, and knights filled the courtyard itself. Music already played outside as I approached. I gripped my father’s arm tighter, not entirely sure if I was nervous or excited.

When the front doors opened, deafening cheers filled the air. I could barely hear the fanfare over all the noise. The gates were so crowded I couldn’t see where the crowd ended. The nobles in the courtyard stared upwards, extending their necks. My ears rang uncomfortably as I stepped into the bright sunlight.

All the noise turned to silence when I met Kiernan’s eyes. If I hadn’t been certain of his love before, that look was enough to convince me. His eyes were shining.

It seemed to take ages to reach him, when in fact it was only a few steps. My father released my arm somewhat reluctantly. Kiernan was too focused on me to notice. He took my hands in his and gave them a squeeze.

Hierarch Gordon raised his arms for silence. He was the most revered hierarch in the kingdom and had traveled down from Fain to perform the ceremony. He married Kiernan’s parents as well, so he seemed a natural choice. Though he was growing older, the happiness of the event had caught hold of him as well, and there was a youthful glow around him.

“My lords and ladies,” he began as the crowd died down, “misters and misses, we thank you for coming to witness the union of Lady Kenna Balton and our beloved King Kiernan Frewin.”

Another cheer arose, and he continued the service when they quieted, but my legs kept shaking. Soon Kiernan repeated the words Hierarch Gordon spoke.

“I, Kiernan Frewin, King of Orkeia—vow to take you, Kenna Balton, as my wife and queen—to cherish you with a love as deep as the sea—as powerful as the storms—as constant as the sun and the moon—”

His already bright eyes brightened as he said the last phrase, holding onto my hands slightly tighter. “May the Mother and Father forever bless our union. ”

The crowd cheered for a moment, but the ceremony wasn’t over yet. Hierarch Gordon turned to me, the same smile on his face.

“I, Kenna Balton, Lady of the kingdom—” he said loudly so the crowd could hear.

I took a deep breath, doing my best not to speak too softly. “I, Kenna Balton, Lady of the kingdom—”

“Vow to take you, Kiernan Frewin, as my husband and king.”

“Vow to take you, Kiernan Frewin—” Something caught in my throat. “—as my husband and king.”

I continued to repeat each of the lines: “To cherish you with a love as deep as the sea—as powerful as the storms—as constant as the sun and the moon—”

Hierarch Gordon smiled at the last line. “May the Mother and Father forever bless our union.”

The enormity of this moment took all the air from my lungs, and I had to take a moment to remind myself how to breathe before I could manage to speak the final words.

“May the Mother and Father forever bless our union.”

The cheers were deafening. Without waiting for the hierarch’s permission, Kiernan pulled me into an embrace and kissed me passionately. My entire body trembled against his, and I threw my arms around his neck.

“I present King Kiernan and Queen Kenna Frewin, holy sovereigns of Orkeia!” Hierarch Gordon announced, though the words were impossible for most people to hear over the crowd. Kiernan reluctantly broke the kiss to face the people, taking my hand in his and raising our interlocked fingers in a celebratory gesture. As he did, my legs began to shake once again.

I’m the queen.

It’s fortunate Kiernan carried me into the castle, because I don’t think I would have been able to walk. Since I didn’t hold any actual political power, a coronation ceremony was unnecessary—being Kiernan’s wife automatically made me queen of Orkeia. I, a white witch, was the wife of the king, the man waging a war against my people. The queen of Orkeia was one of the very people he and his knights had sought to destroy, and he didn’t even know it.

The thought dug a deep pit of guilt and regret in my stomach. I had to tell him before tonight, and I didn’t know when the opportunity would present itself.

We held a late, celebratory lunch. There was no opportunity for privacy. Kiernan and I sat together at the head of the table, naturally the focus of all conversation. I didn’t eat much—I felt like I was going to be sick.

I’d hoped we’d have a moment alone after the banquet, but I wasn’t so lucky. We immediately climbed the stairs to the throne room, now decorated with flowers of all kinds and colors. I’d been nervous about people approving of the decorations, but it didn’t seem to matter now.

A second, smaller throne had been placed next to Kiernan’s, and he led me to it. Sitting there at the head of the room, I could almost feel the weight of the entire kingdom falling upon my shoulders. Kiernan’s smile was wider than I’d ever seen it as the nobles and knights entered, each in turn approaching the throne and bowing or curtsying to the two of us. With each greeting, I felt more and more like a fraud. Somehow, I still managed to smile and thank them.

When the musicians took their places, Kiernan escorted me into the middle of the floor. All the guests watched us dance together, clapping as the music faded into the next dance. The sensation of dancing with him thrilled me just as before, and at least momentarily quieted my thoughts and fears about the secret he still didn’t know I held.

The ball went on for hours. Every once and a while Kiernan and I returned to the dais to catch our breath, but we were soon on the floor again. He loved to dance, and even though I lacked the talent, I loved dancing with him. But I kept looking for an opportunity to step out, to have a private word with him, to confess what was eating me up inside. The more time that passed, the harder it was to keep myself from hyperventilating.

“Kiernan,” I breathed once when we sat down for a break. “I need to speak with you. ”

“What is it, my love?” he asked, leaning on the arm of his throne. His face was flushed red from all the dancing, but his smile was as wide as ever.

I glanced nervously around the room. “Could we step out for some air?”

Hearing the shakiness in my voice, he furrowed his eyebrows. “Is everything all right?”

“I just want some air. Do you think we could leave the party for a few minutes?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but I never heard his answer. The doors opened loudly and trumpets sounded. A large man with a jet black beard entered followed by a swarm of attendants. He wore a deep purple robe with brilliant gold trim over a shining golden tunic, a large crown filled with jewels of all kinds adorning his head. I recognized him at once as King Simeon, the ruler of the neighboring kingdom of Cogfaire.

Kiernan immediately stood, and I joined him. It was rare for Simeon to leave his kingdom, and even rarer for him to attend celebrations. He’d been invited to the wedding, but no one had actually expected him to come.

“My friend!” Kiernan said, stepping down from the dais. I knew very well that he and Simeon were far from friends, but that was the language of politics. “So glad you could make it! I thought you would be too busy fighting off the invaders from the south.”

“How could I miss your wedding?” said Simeon, patting Kiernan on the back. He was much older than Kiernan, and obviously more experienced, but Kiernan didn’t let that intimidate him. He laughed loudly and returned the gesture.

“Another throne for His Majesty,” he called.

Servants quickly moved to do as ordered, but Simeon waved his hand dismissively. “Not on your wedding day, Kiernan. I’m here as simply another guest.”

Somehow I highly doubted that a king—particularly one who chose to dress so exuberantly and make such a grand entrance—would truly see himself as ‘simply another guest,’ and I was sure Kiernan didn’t think so either. But it wouldn’t do to insist when Simeon had already ‘humbly’ refused.

“Very well then,” Kiernan said, dismissing the servants with a nod. “Everyone, carry on!”

The music resumed, and the couples on the floor returned to their places. Simeon’s attendants joined the dance, but Simeon remained where he was, his eyes flickering to me.

“My, I do envy you,” he said, a disturbing glint in his eyes. “Queen Kenna, you are the fairest jewel I have ever seen.”

“That she is,” Kiernan said, motioning for me to step down and join him. I did so somewhat reluctantly. King Simeon was notoriously a warlord, and not in the same way that my husband had been waging a war. As wrong as the Slaughters were, they were motivated by a desire to protect the people of Orkeia. Simeon’s only desire in the battles he waged seemed to be conquering as much territory in the mainland to the south as possible.

Despite my discomfort, I smiled and curtsied deeply, averting my eyes. “ Honored to make your acquaintance, King Simeon.”

“The honor is all mine,” he said, his lips resting on my hand too long.

Kiernan’s eyes flashed, and he pulled me closer to him. “How long will you be staying, Simeon?”

“Just the night,” he said. “I’m on my way to the next set of islands, just North, across the Barren Ocean. I decided I might as well stop and join in the celebrations.”

“You are most welcome,” Kiernan said, but his voice wasn’t as strong as before. “Anything you wish, you need only ask for it.”

It was clear from his tone of voice that the term anything was very subjective. Simeon grinned, making me extremely uneasy.

“Well, I won’t keep you any longer,” he said, stepping aside. “Congratulations, Your Majesties.”

Kiernan nodded civilly and escorted me back onto the floor. I stared straight ahead. These were the people I was going to be socializing with for the rest of my life, constantly feigning politeness and friendship. The only relief I found was in Kiernan’s comforting smile, relaying without words that everything would be all right. He obviously didn’t enjoy socializing with Simeon any more than I did.

We didn’t get the chance to talk anymore during the dance. Even when we were sitting and resting, someone was always there to give us their congratulations. Sir Hamon insisted on dancing with me, no matter how many times I said I was too tired. Eventually, the hall cleared, until only a couple of the lords and captains remained.

Among them was Lewin. He grimaced even more than usual, and I shivered when he caught my eye as I remembered Captain Stole’s concerns. To my relief, he kept his distance, and eventually left with a number of King Simeon’s attendants. Kiernan remained oblivious to Lewin’s displeasure and continued to entertain, a huge smile on his face, until the very last person left the ballroom.

Finally, we were alone.

Kiernan breathed a sigh of relief and faced me. His eyes sparkled in a way I hadn’t seen before. As he held out his arm, my stomach turned. I knew what was on his mind. My whole mind had been on revealing my identity. How could I have forgotten about this next part? Numbly, I took his arm and let him lead me to my new quarters, my mind spinning.

“I’m so happy, Kenna!” he said lovingly as we traveled through the secret passage from the throne room to his— our —sitting room. “You are the best thing that's happened to me.”

“You really don’t have to say that,” I muttered, my heart beating uncomfortably. What if my father was right? What if he did reject me, claim that I used sorcery to seduce him? How could I convince him that I was telling the truth, that magic in and of itself wasn’t evil? That I wasn’t evil?

I ran out of time to think as we reached the end of the passageway and passed into the sitting room. The servants had retired to their own quarters for the night, granting us privacy. I opened my mouth to speak, still unsure what to say, but my thoughts left me as Kiernan opened a pair of double doors.

Slowly, I entered the extravagant, scarlet room, furnished with eclectic and beautiful furniture from all parts of the world. My eyes widened at the sight of the silk tapestries and rich rugs. I stood quite still, taking it all in, hardly daring to believe I could ever feel at home in this place—if I even had the chance to try.

Kiernan closed the doors behind us. I felt him place a hand on my shoulder, and his lips brushed my neck. I closed my eyes at the sensation, shivering as his hand traveled down the laces on my back.

“Kiernan,” I breathed, stumbling forward. My cheeks burned hotter than a fire. I turned to face him, but couldn’t meet his eyes.

“There's something I need to tell you.”

“I’m sure it can wait,” he said, pulling me into his arms. Our lips met, and he backed me up against the wall, pressing his body against mine. I felt the urge to simply melt into the kiss, but instead broke it, pushing gently against his chest to prompt him to stop.

“No, it can’t,” I gasped.

He only backed up enough to give me space to breathe. After recovering from his surprise, he smiled playfully at me. “What great secret have you been keeping from me, Dearest?”

I couldn’t smile in response. My heart was racing uncontrollably, the air in the room suddenly suffocating. “When your men found me, I wasn’t being held captive.”

His expression questioned why in the world I would bring it up now of all times, but he took a small step back, finally sensing I was serious. His arms remained loosely wrapped around me. “You had escaped, then?”

“I didn’t escape. I was never their prisoner.” My voice cracked. “I was living there.”

He frowned. “Kenna, I don’t understand.”

My vision blurred as my eyes began to water. I could tell he was concerned with the appearance of the tears, but I imagined that would change in a moment. The crushing guilt of springing such a huge revelation on him made me swallow a sob. Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, I finally worked up the courage to say it.

“I’m a witch, Kiernan.”

Time seemed to stand still, my heavy breathing the only sound in the room. His confusion quickly changed to shock, which then morphed into anger. Just as I thought he was about to demand my death, his anger changed to something else. His eyes filled with pain and distress, and his arms fell to his sides. He stumbled away from me, sitting down on the bed.

“A what?” he croaked.

My hands trembled as they pressed against the wall behind me. “They were my family. I was protecting them. I should have died, but Isaiah lied to save me.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s my father.”

Kiernan showed no additional surprise at this newfound knowledge. I held my breath, waiting for him to say something, anything, that would tell me how to act. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, to explain and apologize for, but none of them came out. He struggled to find his voice as well. He kept opening and closing his mouth, his eyes staring in my direction without actually seeing me.

Desperately, I knelt at his feet, the tears beginning to escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks. “I am so sorry,” I stammered. “I tried to tell you last night, and so many times before that, I—I didn’t want it to be like this. At first I was keeping it from you for my own protection, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t punish Isaiah for this, it’s not his fault—I should be blamed. I never meant to hurt you—”

I stopped myself, knowing that if I continued I would just keep stumbling through words in a verbal circle. He kept his head down, refusing to meet my eyes. My heart broke more with every moment of silence. I wanted so much to tell him that I loved him, but I knew those words would only deepen his pain.

I swallowed another sob and bowed my head. “I am your wife now,” I whispered, “and you may do as you will with me. According to the law, I should be put to death. I only ask that if it is your wish to kill me, I die by your hand.”

He seemed surprised by this statement and opened his mouth, but still didn’t make a sound. I sat on the ground in front of him in silence, knowing that there was nothing more to say .

“Your room is through that door,” he finally muttered, nodding to his right.

I felt tears come to my eyes, but held them back. “Kiernan, I—”

“Good night,” he said, his voice stronger as we made eye contact once more. I’d expected to see anger or sadness in his expression, but instead I saw nothing. His eyes were as cold and emotionless as when we first met.

Slowly, I stood and crossed the room to the door he indicated, leaving him sitting alone on the bed. I paused as I turned the knob, taking one last look at him. He stared at the floor again, gripping the edge of the bed with white knuckles. I barely made it through the door before the sobs I’d been holding in began to escape my throat of their own accord.

I fell onto my bed in my wedding dress, shaking, the lace, trimmings, and jewelry all pressing into my skin like accusing daggers. How could I ever have believed he would accept me? After everything he’d been through and how long he’d been working to eliminate magic, how could I think he’d still love me knowing how much I had lied?

That night, I dreamt of Kiernan coming in the night and stabbing me in the heart before going out in search of more magic holders. I watched in spirit as he traveled straight to the Grison’s home, as if he’d already known where they were. They tried to fight him, but one by one every member of my family fell. He sliced open Gideon’s throat with his sword, and I awoke with a stifled scream. I could have sworn the door between our rooms was open when I first opened my eyes. When I looked again it was closed, no light coming through the cracks.