The Grand Duel (The Grand Men #4)

Chapter 45

FORTY-FIVE

Charlie

“ L is, hurry up, you’re going to make me late.”

She gives both dogs one last kiss and stands, closing the front door to our home and walking to the car. “ I’m going to make you late?”

I smile at her, well aware that our morning shower—and the way I made it something else entirely—is the reason I’m going to be late.

She pulls on her seat belt and looks over at me. “You’ll be even later if you just sit there staring. Crack on, Charles.”

“I’m just preparing myself for the three hours until lunchtime that I’ll have to be without you.”

“Longer. I had a message from Scarlet this morning about meeting for coffee on my lunch break, the girls, too.”

“No.”

“No?” she repeats. “What do you mean no?”

“I mean no, you’re not meeting the girls for coffee instead of spending your lunch hour with me.”

She chuckles. “Yeah, anyway, Scarlet wants to go over her plans for the memorial ball. She said she’d explain it more later, but I’m presuming it’s in memory of her parents?”

I side-eye her.

“Stop being a brat. You need to learn to share your toys.”

“I don’t.”

“We’ve not seen them properly since the wedding. If it wasn’t for the kids, I’m pretty sure you’d have me holed up in the cottage every evening and weekend.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“You need to share your toys, Charles,” she repeats.

I sigh. “As if I stood a chance against you and those girls today anyway.”

“Exactly.”

“Leave early, though, or maybe I’ll just schedule a meeting for this afternoon instead.”

“Schedule a meeting?”

I look over at her. “How else am I supposed to spend time with my girlfriend?”

“You’re relentless.”

I am. And yet I feel like I’m holding myself back. Like I’m trying to stop myself from becoming utterly consumed by the woman at my side.

“I’m in love, Lissie girl.” I take her hand and bring it to rest on my lap. “Don’t give me shit for that.”

She eyes me, her smile coy. “Fine.”

“Fine?” I repeat, my hands tightening on the steering wheel. I look across at her and find her smiling.

“What?”

“ What ? Say it back.”

She starts laughing.

“Lis.”

“You’re a baby.”

“I’ll pull this car over.” I look over at her, her laughter making my heart hammer. “Better yet, I’ll turn it around and take you home to remind you exactly how you feel about me.”

“You wouldn’t.”

I pull onto the side of the road and look over at her, a challenge in my stare.

With the biggest smile on her face, she leans over the car and kisses me, only pulling back an inch. “Remember when you could barely look at me. When you were so afraid of showing me what was in here.” She rubs her hand over my chest. “You’d hide every emotion from me.”

“It feels like a lifetime ago that you first walked into my office.”

“It does. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t that long ago at all. And the only reason it feels that way is because you’re not the same man that you were then.”

I gaze down my nose at the woman, her lips right there, my heart spilling over.

“I love him, that stoic man who only lets the people he loves love and see him. And I love you, today, smiling and being a possessive fool. And tomorrow…” She smiles, shaking her head. “I can’t wait to see who you’re going to be tomorrow. What I’ll learn and fall in love with all over again as if it’s the first time.”

I snigger. “You’ve got it bad, baby.”

She pushes me back, but I grab her, my head dipping to her neck, making her squeal. “Then, now, tomorrow,” I tell her, taking her face in my hand. She twists her head to kiss the palm. “Whether we’re walking it or running, we’re doing it together.”

She nods, and I kiss her.

I drive to the office with a smile on my face which doesn’t seem to ease, a feeling in my chest I’ll never be able to vocalise.

Lissie was right before, I have changed. In almost every way I hated myself, I’ve changed.

I’m simply happier.

“Do you not get a headache from smiling like that?”

“Don’t be smart,” I tell her, leaning across the car to kiss her goodbye. “I’ll see you when you get back from lunch.”

“Hmm,” she says, going in for another quick kiss, her eyes softly closed. “I already miss you.”

I smile against her mouth when she kisses me again. “Tell me again.”

She grins, our teeth catching. I kiss her. Over and over.

“I…” She chuckles, our mouths fused.

“You what?” I ask.

She pulls back, grabbling hold of my face with one hand, keeping me back. “I love you.” She plants a quick kiss on my lips and then twists, throwing open her door and rushing away from me with her bag.

I roll my lips, still feeling her there, my eyes glued to her back as she disappears inside the office.

I’m about to pull away from the side of the pavement, heart full, when my phone rings through my car, the name on the screen making me frown.

I accept it. “Bronwyn?”

I walk into The Montwell with the world feeling like it’s falling away from around me, unsure why or how I’m still standing. I enter the lift and just stand on the spot, the doors closing and opening again before security sticks his head around the door, double-takes, and frowns.

“You alright, Aldridge, lad?”

I shake my head, my stomach churning, the blood draining from my face.

He reaches around the door and hits the button for the seventy-ninth floor.

I grit my teeth and swallow down the saliva in my mouth, the contents of my stomach churning.

As the doors open to Ellis and Frey, I step forward and run right into Nina. “Charlie, just the man?—”

I lock eyes with her, and I don’t know what it is she sees but her face falls. “Oh god, what is it? Not Lance?”

I frown, shaking my head. “What? No.” I step around her, walking towards Mason’s office and then straight inside.

“Aldridge?”

I don’t look at him.

I can’t.

I run my hands through my hair, walking to his mini bar. “It’s all wrong.”

He rounds his desk, his eyes assessing. “You’re shaking.”

“I’ve fucked up.”

He takes the bottle from my hands and then passes me the glass of whiskey. I gulp it back, the contents burning my throat and making my stomach feel a million times worse.

“Aldridge,” he pushes.

I meet Mason’s stern gaze, his eyes shadowed by his low brow.

“Whatever it is, we can fix it.”

I shake my head, panic clawing at my throat. “Not this.”

“What’s this ?”

I swallow, my jaw taut. “I’ve got someone pregnant.”

Lissie

Out of all the girls, I’m the only one sitting in The Elm Café when the clock hits twelve sixteen, making them officially late. I pull out my phone and check I’ve not got the address wrong, already knowing I haven’t, and then I lift my cup of tea and take a small sip.

They’ll be here soon.

I click onto my message thread from Jovie to distract myself from the uneasy feeling in my stomach, reading through the handful of messages we’ve exchanged over the past two months.

I try a new message.

Hey Jove, I hope Will is okay. How’s her new nursery placement going?

I hit send and place my phone down on the table, rolling my toes together in my shoes as I look up around the café.

Movement outside of the window catches my eye, and I turn my head, finding Nina heading for the entrance.

Letting out the caught-up air in my lungs, I will myself to relax.

I smile, rolling my shoulders when she pushes inside the shop, her stomach swollen and full. She scans the area, and I stand.

And the moment her eyes land on me, I instantly know something is wrong.

“Lissie,” she says, walking to the table and wrapping her arm around me, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m sorry you were left waiting. The girls can’t make it.”

“Oh.” I frown. “Is everything okay?”

She steps back and looks up at me, her face telling me it isn’t. “Charles is outside in the car. He’s going to head home for the day.”

“What’s happened?” I rush out.

My heart is in my throat, my entire body filled with adrenaline.

“He’s okay. Everyone is okay. He just needs to speak to you.”

I shake my head, everything slowing as she leads me out of the café. “What’s going on?”

“Charles, get your head on straight first!”

I snap my gaze from Nina and come face-to-face with Charlie. He’s shaking off Mason’s grasp, not looking where he’s going as he crosses the road.

With him directly in my path, I step forward and stop him with my hands on his arms. The momentum of his body follows through, and he barrels into me, his arms coming around me to keep me on my feet.

I cling on to him, know that the look on Nina’s face…the fact he’s here right now and not in the office like he should be.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

He pulls back and looks down at me.

His beautiful blue eyes stare back at me, lost, the whites dull, the skin around them red.

“Lis,” he rasps.

I tighten my grip on him, my thoughts running. “Charlie, what’s wrong?”

He opens his mouth to speak but then looks up and around the street we’re on. “Can I take you home?”

“Nina said everyone is okay, so what is it? Why are you so sad?”

I swallow, feeling sick at the unknown.

He loosens his hold on me, his eyes desperate as they scan me. “I need to tell you something.”

“Then tell me,” I snap, stepping out of his hold.

He rakes a hand through his hair, shaking his head at me.

“Not here,” Mason says sternly, cocking his head towards the other side of the road. “I’ll drive you home.”

I look back up at the man between us all, so much of what I know of him missing. Where the other half of this man has disappeared to in the three hours since I last saw him, terrifies me.

With my legs like jelly, the adrenaline making my entire body feel like it’s not my own, I pass Charlie and walk to the car Mason pointed out, a black Bentley.

I open the door and slide inside, my heart pounding to a point its beat echoes across my entire chest.

Does he not want me anymore?

Has he changed his mind?

What did I do?

I grit my teeth, desperately wanting to open the car door and get out, to run a million miles from him.

But the way he held me. The way he looked at me as if he was afraid, as if it was me who no longer wanted him .

The three of them climb inside the car, Charlie sitting on my right with Mason and Nina in the driver and passenger seats.

We pull away from the curb with not one person saying a word, the utter silence from the man beside me making my heart ache.

“Charlie.”

He looks over at me as if it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

“What is it?” I beg.

He reaches over and takes my hand, shaking his head. “When we get home.”

“Home?” I snap, looking between Nina and Mason and then back to him. “Charles, we’re forty minutes from home. Why am I the only one with no idea what’s going on?”

His eyes search mine. “Please, Lis.” He swallows. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologising to me? You’re not doing that when I have no idea what’s going on.” I lean forward. “Nina, please.” I look between them all. “Someone tell me what’s going on.”

“Lissie—”

He doesn’t want me.

I’m too much.

“No, Charlie. It’s bullshit. No one is hurt, everybody is okay, but it’s a load of rubbish because you’re sorry. And you aren’t sorry to me. I don’t want you to be sorry to me.”

“Baby…”

“Tell me,” I plead, grasping my stomach as it churns.

He scrubs at his face, only making my heart pound even more fanatically.

“What have you done?” I ask, my face screwing up. “Charles, please just tell me.”

He lifts his head towards the front of the car, towards his friends, his eyes lost and glassy.

He eventually looks over at me, and my heart sinks.

“Bronwyn called me this morning to tell me that one of the girls from the club is pregnant. She was with two men the week she would’ve conceived the child.”

My breath is taken from me.

I close my eyes, knowing what’s coming and not trusting myself to be looking at him when he says it.

“I was one of them.”

I sit back, my hand covering my mouth.

“Lis—”

“Stop.” I hold my hand up as he reaches for me.

My heart is beating so hard there’s a shooting pain bursting out through every rib.

One of the girls from the club is pregnant.

I open my eyes and look at him. “Who?”

Tears threaten in my eyes, but I lock my jaw and stare at him, stopping them. Because who it is doesn’t matter. It did, and then I opened my eyes and saw the tear dripping down his cheek, and it didn’t. It doesn’t matter who she is, only that she is.

She exists.

And so does an unborn child.

I don’t know what kind of person it makes me, but I’m devastated. I feel sad and angry and at a complete loss because isn’t that meant to be me? Was I not meant to be that woman to him?

I was meant to grow up, find a man, have a baby and get happiness.

It was supposed to be me.

“Lissie.”

I blink, focusing on him.

“Cass. I said it’s Cass.”

Cass.

How did this happen?

The club’s rules are ironclad.

How…

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Tears line his face, and it breaks my heart in two. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose you.” He dips his head. “I can’t lose you, Lis. I only just found you. I love you.”

I stare at the top of his head, my tears on the brink of spilling over. The pain in my chest crippling me.

I want to scream and cry and let the world know how unfair this is.

A baby.

He could be a dad.

The one thing I can never make him.

And that kills me inside.

It makes me want to run.

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes full and my heart broken as I lift my hand, smoothing it over the back of Charlie’s neck. I pull him forward, wrapping my arms around him.

I run my hand though his hair as he sniffs, the sound of him crying making it impossible to remain steadfast. And I’m trying. I’m trying so hard for him right now.

For us.

I just never thought I’d meet a man like Charles, and for a minute, for the first time in my life, I almost felt like I might be enough.

A tear betrays me, and I lift my head, blinking over and over, trying to stop any more from spilling.

“Lis,” he chokes out. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head in defiance, trying to block out everything that’s burning inside of me. Everything that hurts. “It’s okay,” I tell him, catching and then locking eyes with Mason in the rearview mirror.

His jaw is taut, eyes shining.

“It’s going to be okay,” I promise.

Charlie told me to leave dinner, and he’d order something in for us, but sitting on the sofa with my emotions barely in check isn’t how I want to spend my evening.

I’m stirring a tomato sauce on the cooker when he comes down the stairs from his shower. He’s topless, his joggers dark and baggy. I force a small smile, pretending the wobble in my throat isn’t there as I swallow around it.

“Tea won’t be long,” I tell him.

He nods, walking around the kitchen, the sadness around his puffy eyes and the way his steps aren’t sure making my insides feel like they’re being shredded.

He comes to stand beside me, the thickness in the air making it hard to breathe.

“Can I hug you?”

I lift my chin, looking up at him. I shake my head and push up onto my tiptoes, kissing him. “I love you, Charles.”

His eyes close, his chest sagging as he lets out a tortured sigh.

I wrap my arms around his neck, squeezing my eyes tight once his arms envelop me.

He kisses my neck, his lips wet from what I can guess is more tears.

“Charlie,” I plead, pulling back.

I wipe them away.

“I’ve hurt you, Lis. You’re the most important thing in my life, and I’ve hurt you.” He shakes his head. “I can’t stand it. That I’ve made you feel like this.”

I don’t let him validate my emotions. I can’t. “This isn’t anyone’s fault. Nobody planned this. There’s still a chance it’s not your child, Cha?—”

“And if it is? What then?” he asks, voice cracking.

“Then you’ll have a baby.” Fuck . I steel myself, everything inside of me. “And it will be okay.”

He searches my eyes, but I know he doesn’t find what he’s looking for.

Because I don’t let him.

“Have you spoken to her?” I ask. “To Cass? You said she’s quite far along.”

He sighs. “No. Bronwyn has passed on my number to her. She said that Cass only told her last week.”

I close my eyes momentarily, centring myself. “And the other guy? Is he aware?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know.” He steps away and runs his hands through his hair. “Bronwyn told me, and my heart all but stopped.” He looks up at me. “The next thought was you, and I checked out after that.”

I wade out of the meaning in his words, the way his head is so fully with me and not where it should be. “Do you remember the night?”

His jaw flexes and then he nods, not meeting my eyes.

“You wore protection?”

He snaps his eyes to me. “Of course I did. I’ve never?—”

“I wasn’t?—”

“Only you. No one else.”

“I know,” I sigh. “I just…I’m trying to understand.”

He drops his eyes again, his hand swiping over his mouth. He looks back at me with so much guilt in his eyes it threatens to steal my mask, my entire facade, and the world I exist in.

“What?” I ask.

“She—Cass…she told Bronwyn that she doesn’t think the other guy was able to…”

I stare through him, my eyes glazing over. “She doesn’t think he came?”

He stares back at me, the reality of it all tearing into the both of us.

I drop my head to the side, knowing my teary eyes are likely killing him inside.

Because his are killing me.

I flash him a sad smile and walk across the kitchen, wrapping my arms around his waist.

There’s another “it’s okay” somewhere deep inside of me, it’s there, and I wish he could know how badly I want to voice it. How badly I want to mean it.

But I don’t.

I don’t mean a single one of them.

I can’t because this is destroying me inside. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know where or how we move forward with this. And it’s not okay.

“Go and sit down,” he whispers into my hair. “Let me finish tea.”

I don’t want to eat.

I can’t eat right now.

“I think I might have a shower and get an early night. I’ve got a bit of a headache.”

He smooths his hands over my back. “I can run you a bath and go to bed with you.”

“No, you eat.” I step back. “I want to shower tonight instead.”

I check the sauce, making sure it’s ready for him, and then I walk from the room, the feel of his eyes on me the only thing keeping the knot in my throat from unravelling.

Luna follows me up the stairs, Daisy following her. I quickly shoo them out of the bathroom and then shut the door.

I go through the motions of undressing, checking the water temperature.

I wash my body.

Reach for the shampoo.

I go through the motions until it’s impossible to move another inch without the pain inside of my body taking over.

I sink down the wall, my hands covering my face.

I break on the shower floor because I know he won’t see it.