The Grand Duel (The Grand Men #4)

Chapter 46

FORTY-SIX

Charlie

Two weeks later…

“ O h Lissie, congratulations. I didn’t know this was something you were interested in. You didn’t mention it at interview.”

I stand from my desk and follow the sound of Edna’s voice.

I find her in the break room with Lissie.

“I never really considered it an option until Charlie told me to go for it.”

I come to a stop in the doorway, the guilt that seemingly now sits like an organ in my chest blooming as my eyes find focus on her.

“What’s that?” I ask, tipping my chin up at the paper in her hands.

She flicks her eyes towards me before dropping them. “My application came back…” She holds up the paper.

“The Bar Standards Board?”

She nods.

Edna looks between the two of us. “Well, you’ve got it in you, girl, that much I’m certain of. Excuse me, I need to…” Like Lissie, Edna doesn’t finish her sentence, making herself scarce.

I walk to Lissie and look down at her, wondering if alongside the growing guilt I’ll ever stop loving her more and more each day.

“Full exemption?”

She nods.

I lift her chin, desperately needing her eyes. “I’m proud of you. And I told you.”

She smiles, stepping into me, burying her face in my chest.

I suck in a full breath, breathing her in.

I thought I’d lose her when I found out about Emily (her legal name) being pregnant, turns out I didn’t, and she’s still here.

Although, sometimes, it feels like she isn’t here at all.

“You have a meeting at three,” she says, not letting me go. “Do you want me to come with you so that we can head straight home after?”

“I want nothing more today, Lis.” I squeeze my eyes tight. “I was going to tell you later so that you weren’t thinking about it all day…”

She pulls back, looking up at me.

“I’m meeting Emily and Jack for the first time today.”

Pain flashes on her face so fast I almost miss it, but then she pushes it away. “Oh.” Her jaw works. “Of course.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to come, but you’re welcome?—”

She catches my gaze and frowns. “No. Sorry, but that’s for you to…” She wrings her hands together. “But I’ll be there when you’re done. I’ll get a taxi home.”

I fucking hate myself.

Every decision I ever made up until the day I met her.

I hate myself for it.

“Mason is going to take you. Ed is heading to the headquarters to drop some files, so she’ll take you to The Montwell.”

“I can get the tube over to HQ and take the files myself? Seems silly both of us going when I have to go that way to meet Mason.”

I scrub at my face. “I’d rather you let Ed drive you.”

When my hand falls away, I catch her eyes on me. “Okay.”

Stepping forward, I reach for her, my hand on her neck just under her ear. I pull her in and kiss her, frowning when our lips meet.

And if this was all we were, we’d be perfect.

If this was all that mattered, they’d be no doubt.

We pull away at the same time, lips parted, eyes searching. I rest my forehead to hers. “I’ll see you when I get home.”

She smiles and nods. “When you get home.”

I walk to the door with my insides feeling like they’re wasting away, desperately wanting to turn around and wrap her back up in my arms. To beg her to look at me differently. To stop hiding what all of this is doing to her.

I stop halfway to the door, turning to find her looking down at the application.

“I love you, Lissie girl.”

She lifts her head. “I love you, too.”

“So do the test. If it means we’ll know for certain who the father is, why not get it over with?”

I narrow my eyes on the man beside me.

Jack.

“We can,” Emily says, her voice quiet as she looks between us, completely unsure. “If that’s what you both want, I can speak to the midwives?—”

“No,” I cut in. “Sorry,” I tell the woman. “Absolutely not. It says here that the test is invasive and can cause the baby distress. We’ll be waiting the remaining eight weeks and can do the test after birth.”

“Eight weeks!” Jack snaps. “It’s a thing for a reason. Let her do the test.”

I gesture towards Emily. “Is the test something you’d like to do, or would you rather wait?”

She darts her eyes to Jack.

“Don’t look at him. Don’t even make the decision now. Take your time, speak to your family.” I stand and button my jacket. “If you need anything at all, you call me, okay?”

She nods, looking utterly terrified.

I walk from the room, waiting until I’m in the confinements of the lift to let my mask slip.

Lissie

I’m waiting in the reception area at The Montwell when Elliot and Mason finish up their meeting. They both spot me at the same time and quickly see off the group of people they left the room with. Elliot is the first to greet me, pulling me into a hug the second I’m standing.

“Hi, Elliot. Finally home, I see.”

“We had the honeymoon of our lives,” he tells me, letting me go. His face settles. “How is he?”

“He’s okay. Better.”

“Good,” Elliot says, moving to the side.

“Lissie. I won’t be long, and we’ll head out,” Mason tells me.

“No rush.”

He walks into his office and then reappears not even five minutes later. Elliot is still in the reception, chatting to me and George about the manta rays he saw whilst away. “Mahoosive things, they are. Luce was terrified.”

Mason looks at me and shakes his head. He holds out a bouquet of flowers to me. “Nina.”

I chuckle and take them, lifting them to my nose.

He tips his chin towards the lift to leave, Elliot still talking to anyone who will listen.

I wait at the doors with Mason, wondering how Charles’s meeting with Emily might be going.

I never met “Cass.” She’d already left when I started at the club, but I’ve heard from Christian that she’s a very quiet, kind girl. She’s not nasty or mean, and she likely wouldn’t have tried to get pregnant in her final year of her optometry degree.

“What about you?” Mason says from across the space, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Sorry?” I ask, feeling like I’ve missed something.

He cocks his head. “He’s okay. You told Elliot before. But what about you? How are you?”

How am I?

“I’m…” I’m fine. Good. Okay. Trying my hardest to put one foot in front of the other and keep a semblance of a smile on my face to keep the guilt from Charlie.

“Nina said she messaged you, but you never replied.”

“I’ve just been busy.”

He looks at me as if he knows I’m lying and drops it, riding the lift to the ground floor and then driving me home to the cottage with the conversation as far from Charlie and our current mess as possible.

Mason takes the flowers as I climb from of his car, handing them to me once I’m out. He looks at me for a moment, maybe unsure if he should say whatever it is he’s about to.

“You know, there’s not many women who could do what you did in the car that day. The way you put aside what you were feeling like that…” He works his jaw. “He’s never had what you’re giving him, Lissie. I just wanted you to know that. That he’s a different man because of you .”

I look down at the flowers, wondering what I supposed to say.

“If you need us, just call. Both of you. And call my wife, please. She said she misses you and will likely drive out here if you try keeping her at bay much longer.”

I smile. “Okay. Thank you, Mason.”

I watch him leave and then walk to the house, knowing happiness awaits just inside the door.

I push against the green wood, my heart filling as the dogs rush at me.

“Hello, babies!” I drop my things, the flowers, and dip to my knees, letting them fuss over me. “I missed you, too.”

I hold Daisy to me when Luna starts sniffing around my shoes and bag. I kiss her head. “Dad’s had a long day today, Dais. You’re going to have to give him the bestest snuggles you can give him when he gets in, okay?”

The two of them jump at me excitedly, making me smile. “You want to go out?” I wet my lips. “Woods?”

Luna barks.

I chuckle and head upstairs to change.

I leave a note for Charlie, letting him know where we are, and then I put the dogs on their leads and walk through the village, over the bridge, and down into the woods.

The smell of chicken pie welcomes me when I walk back through the cottage door an hour later.

I smile as I slip off my boots, faintly hearing the sound of the shower running upstairs. Fetching a towel from the laundry room, I dry off the dogs and let them inside.

Once done, I check the pie that’s in the oven and then make my way upstairs to the bathroom.

The door is unlocked, and I slip inside the steamy room, closing it behind me. With the tip of my nose numb from the cold, I quickly undress out of my clothes and round the shower wall.

Charlie is standing under the spray, his body bared and beautiful. The second he sees me his eyes light up. He has seconds before I’m under the spray with him, my arms tucked into my chest.

“Warm me up.”

He steps back, pulling me directly under the water, his arms wrapped around me.

He leans down and kisses my head. “Hey, baby.”

I relax under the hot water, relishing the hold the has on me. “Hey.”

Tipping my head back, I look up at him, finding dark, tired eyes peering back.

I hate it. Seeing him so drained and worried. We both need time to come to terms with the situation, but I thought things were getting better, or I was at least getting better at hiding my emotions from him when they’d catch me off guard.

He doesn’t need to be worrying about me on top of everything else.

“Am I to presume the pie was gifted, and you’ve not become a culinary genius in the last ten hours?”

He huffs a laugh, his smile just about there.

I twist my lips, staring up at him.

“Scarlet,” he explains.

“That makes more sense.” I drop my eyes to his chest. “Do you want to talk about your meeting?” I ask.

He dips his head, his nose and forehead pushing against my own, lifting my head back up. “No.” He takes my lips in a kiss, holding me even tighter in his arms.

And amongst all there is shattered at our feet, we stand in the shower still completely in love.

Just a girl kissing her boyfriend, desperate for him to be okay.

Desperate for herself and her ability to hold it together another day and not shatter apart the second we break away, simply becoming one with the mess on the ground.

I pull back, lips swollen, eyes heavy, my heart pounding. I go to open my mouth.

“I love you, too.” He kisses me. “More.”

His cock is hard against me, and as we shift, he groans.

“I could kiss you all night, baby,” he mumbles against my lips.

“You have forever, Charlie boy.”

He pulls back, eyes searching, hope sparking deep in their depths.

Does he really think I’d leave him?

That I’d ever give up on him?

“Then, now, and tomorrow.” I press up against him, his hard body a wall to my softer curves. “Although, I won’t protest if you want to be greedy with me tonight.”

He shakes his head, smiling. “My greediness knows no bounds. Be careful what you wish for.”

I smile against his mouth, his body rippling against mine, teasing.

“I wish it.” I bite my bottom lip. “Be greedy.” I reach up and wrap my arms around his shoulders, whispering against his lips, “Fuck me, Charles.”

I yelp as he lifts me in one swoop, his hands grasping my ass. I laugh, arching my back as he flattens me to the cold tiles.

“What’s the matter, Lis?” He chuckles against my throat. “Is this not what you wanted?”

My cheeks ache at the smile in his voice, and it makes my heart burn.

His happiness makes me happy.

I readjust and pull him back by the hair, pretending to frown. “I’m just not sure it’s in yet.”

His chest rumbles as I grin. He drops his head back, laughing with me.

When he lifts his head, I purse my lips, simply loving the shit out of him. Of this moment.

Our smiles are lost as he eases his cock inside of me, and when I wince again, it’s not because of the cool tile.

Charlie

“Scarlet can’t ever know about this.”

I smile down at where Lissie lies between my legs, her head on my chest. “No. She’d be mortified.”

When we eventually made it out of the shower, the pie was burnt. Lissie managed to get the top off and decided our only option was to eat the filling. And so, we did, opening a pack of tortilla chips and using them to spoon out anything salvageable.

We’re now lay on the sofa, the fire burning, with the dogs sprawled out below us.

“Question,” she says softly. “Do you think Scarlet will ever tell Ave about Lance? When she gets older.”

I sigh, smoothing my hand through her damp hair. “Maybe. Scarlet’s already made him a huge part of her life. I can’t imagine she’ll ever lie to her if Ave grows curious.” It’s something I’ve thought about in the past—Ave learning and understanding that her dad is in prison. “Why do you ask?”

She shakes her head slightly. “No real reason. I was just thinking about it the other day. If he doesn’t allow visitation, and that doesn’t change, Ave could be fully aware of him before he is of her. As she grows up.”

I fight the shitty feeling that comes with that reality.

“It’s sad.”

“He’s sad,” I correct. “And stubborn. I’ll never forgive him for it either.”

“Don’t say that,” she says gently. “You’re angry right now—which is fine, but what’s broken can be fixed. Eventually.”

“Always fine , us.” I run my hand up her side, lightening the mood.

She chuckles. “We are.”

Are you, though? It’s what I want to ask her. But the idea of drawing attention to it, to what I’ve done…

I stare down at her as she gazes into the fire, her body fully relaxed and draped across me.

I’ve been watching her for weeks, waiting for her to need me. To break. It wasn’t even two months ago that she sobbed in my arms because of her parents’ actions. Because of her infertility. And yet she’s here now, telling me she’s fine whilst another woman may be carrying my child.

I swallow, thinking back to the appointment I attended today and the little life that was presented in black and white on the screen.

My child or not, my breath was utterly stolen in that moment.

“How was the meeting earlier?” she asks, as if she knew exactly where my mind had gone the second it shifted from her. “With Emily.”

I close my eyes, my stomach knotting. “It was…” Incredible. Terrifying. “It was fine.”

She chuckles. “Was the other guy there? Jack, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, Jack. He’s a bit of a bastard.”

“Oh.”

I stare across the room, needing the conversation to be over.

“What happens next? Will Emily have scans? I remember Jovie having some towards the end. I don’t know if that’s normal for everyone.”

My heart sinks, and I chew on my lip. “No.” I force the lie. “No, I don’t think so.”

She sits up, resting her chin on her hands that are flat on my chest. “I can imagine it was the most horrific, awkward thing in the world to have to walk into that room today.”

I search her eyes, unsure how far I’d go to protect her from this. From the potential I hold in my hands to hurt her. “It was shit.” I nod.

“But you did it.” She smiles at me, genuine, too. “There will be worse moments to come over the next eight weeks, but so long as you show up, be you”—she tips her head to her shoulder—“it’ll work out, Charlie.”

She lies back down, turning her face to the fire.

I reach for her hands, keeping them on my chest, holding on to them.

Holding on to her.

As if my life depends on it.