The Last Thing She Wants (Chestnut Hills #1)

33

theo

Thalia

Impromptu family dinner tonight at 6

In a state of frustration, I let out a groan and flung my arm over my head. I’d been sulking in bed for the last three hours and had zero plans to stop now.

Theo

I think I’ll skip.

Thalia

No way, bro. Just got off the phone with mom and she special requested it. Bring Ellie.

Theo

We broke up.

Thalia

Damn, that was fast. What did you do?

Theo

Seriously?

Thalia

I’m just kidding, geez.

Moms at 6. Be there, loser.

Last night I punched someone. This morning, a weird horny stalker student entrapped me, and was as embarrassed by an elderly woman regarding my loud sex. Then the woman I loved promptly broke up with me. Spending time with the family was not top of my list of things I wanted to doat this moment. Especially when I’d probably end up spending a lot of the time fielding questions about Ellie.

If mom requested it specially, though, then I would go. For her. Putting my poor-me party on hold, I gathered myself and dried off from the pool of self-pity I’d been lying in all day. Doing my best to present myself as someone who cared, I changed into a clean pair of jeans and a light tee before heading out the door.

“Tsk tsk, Theo,” a voice called down the hall. Waiting for the click of the lock on my door, I turned towards the voice. Daisy, wearing a floor length dress covered in her signature paint marks, made her way towards me from the elevator, holding a tote bag. “I thought you were here to stick around. How could you let our girl go?”

Conscious of the thin apartment walls only mere feet away that separated Ellie from us, I lowered my voice. “Can you talk to her? This is the last thing I wanted.”

Placing a bangle stacked hand on my shoulder, she gave me a lopsided smile. “I’ll do my best. I brought reinforcements.” Rummaging through her bag, she triumphantly held up a pint of ice cream, and I nodded in understanding.

“Thanks, Daze,” I said, stepping around her. Pausing, I looked back. “I’m trying not to push her right now, but you have to know…” my eyes searched the ground for the courage to speak my feelings aloud.

“I know,” was her simple reply. Her knocking on Ellie’s door was my signal to turn and leave. My head hung low as I walked away, contemplating what was meant to happen next.

On the drive to mom’s, I resisted the urge to put on sad, sulky music. If we were meant to be together—and to be clear, we totally were—then, things would work out. At least, that was what I told myself. In place of the “crying in the rain” type music I leaned towards in moments like these, I played a classic rock summer playlist. With heavy drums and guitar riffs in the background, I took in the color of the changing sky and held onto optimism.

Turning into the driveway, I noticed there was a truck I’d never seen before parked next to my mom’s car. I questioned myself about who would be at family dinner and placed my car in park. Thalia approached, walking barefoot across the lawn. Her arms were crossed, and her brow furrowed.

“Hey,” she started as she drew closer. The door closed with a soft thud behind me.

“Mom get a new car or something?” I asked, inclining my head towards the foreign car.

“No…” she replied, avoiding eye contact.

Already on edge, and now agitated at her evasiveness, I snapped. “ What?”

She cleared her throat before wincing. “That is Paul’s truck…” she trailed off. I made no move to speak as I waited expectantly for an explanation. Who the hell was Paul? “…mom’s boyfriend.”

“Pardon the fuck out of me?” I asked, unsure if I was more startled by the fact that mom had a boyfriend, or that she had a boyfriend, and this was the first time I was hearing about it.

“I know, I know. Apparently, that’s why she requested a family dinner.”

“Shit.” I blew out a heavy breath and pushed my hair back. I watched Thalia self-soothe, rubbing her arms with an unsure look on her face. My heart softened at the sight of my older sister struggling. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just surprised. I guess I always knew this day would come. It’s just weird, you know?” Nodding in agreement, I let her continue. “He seems nice so far. I was just waiting for you to get here before…I don’t know.”

My emotions clashed and uncertainty filled my head as I watched her eyes fill with tears. Great, more tears today. Just what I needed.

Unsure of what to say or how to handle the situation, I took a page from our dad’s book. “Talk to me,” I urged.

A small smile played at her lips from the memory of our dad saying the same to us anytime we came home, upset. She looked up to the sky and blinked away the tears while drawing in a large breath, releasing it with an audible whoosh .

“It’s hard. I know it’s been five years, but sometimes I imagine he’s still here. That I’ll walk into a family dinner, and he’ll be at the grill, or making mom a drink,” she laughed to herself. “And now, to see Paul in his seat, touching mom…it feels so—so weird.”

My heart ached at her words, understanding her completely. Silent comfort hung as I processed the information .

“Well, I’m here now,” I pulled her into a hug. “Let’s head inside and face this together.”

The front door closed behind us with a light click. Patty called out from the sunroom at the sound. “Thalia?”

“Yep,” she called back. “Theo’s here.”

Mom emerged from the back with a breezy walk and bright smile. “Theo, hon. I’m so happy to see you.” I soaked in the warmth of her hug and a conflicting wave of emotions came over me. Immense love for mom took over, but a swell of guilt for my dad threatened to peak. “I’m sorry to hear about Ellie,” she said, taking my face in her hands. “She seemed like such a sweet girl.”

Ah, and then there was that. The emotions of the break-up were rivaling the emotions of the “new boyfriend” conundrum.

“Me too, mom,” was all I could muster.

“I have someone I’d like you to meet,” she guided me with a hand around my arm. A tall, bald man stood in the sunroom with his back to us as we approached. Reaching out, she grazed his back. He was deep in conversation with Marc about some finance scandal that had been monopolizing headlines lately, but mom’s touch stole his attention.

“Theo, this is Paul…my boyfriend,” she introduced.

Turning to face me, the man extended a hand. “Theo, I’ve heard so much about you. Nice to finally meet.” The man, mom’s new boyfriend, offered a friendly smile. Wrinkles adorned the corners of his eyes, his forehead, and around his mouth, revealing his age and years of a life lived.

“This is the first I’m hearing of you, but nice to meet you, nonetheless.” I knew it was a cheap shot, but I extended my hand in good faith and provided a firm shake .

The man’s smile didn’t falter, even when mom scolded me over his shoulder. “Must be one of those ‘first time for everything’ moments, then.”

If Paul was offended, he didn’t let it show. Throughout dinner, he kept a firm hand on mom’s, their fingers interlaced atop the table. Between bites, I couldn’t stop my eyes from naturally drifting to their connection, focusing on their joined hands. A vibration from my phone in my lap revealed a text from Thalia.

Thalia

You look like you’re going to puke.

Stretching and scrunching my face, I attempted to appear more casual. I wanted mom to be happy—really, I did—but I couldn’t ignore the ball of fire building in my chest. Disappointment and hurt fueled the flame. Conversations carried around the table, and I stopped myself from grinding my teeth to nubs.

After patiently pushing my tiramisu around my plate while listening to Thalia and Marc talk about baby names, I stood.

“I’ll take your plates,” I said as I piled the chocolate and cream coated dishes on top of one another.

Relishing a moment of silence, I rinsed off each dish before placing them in the dishwasher, filled with the evening’s dirty dishes. Mom’s hand reached from behind me, shutting the water off. The gold bracelet Thalia and I got her for Christmas last year dangled from her wrist. She stood behind me as I turned to meet her stare. The look of concern on her face contrasted with her crossed arms.

“What’s going on?” she asked with softness and caring, as well as firm directness. At a loss for words, I let out a heavy sigh. “Come on, dear. Let’s head out front.”

I followed her as she led the way. Walking through the kitchen, we were able to avoid walking past Thalia’s line of sight in the sunroom. Her weathered bones creaked as she sat at the top of the porch stairs. Signaling me to join her, she patted the space next to her. We sat in silence, looking everywhere but at each other. My elbows rested on my knees as I looked ahead to the horizon. She leaned back, tilting her head towards the stars that started shining through the darkening sky.

Minutes passed before I looked back. I took a moment to really see my mom. Her skin was tanned in a way that could only be achieved from days in the sun. Her muscles were defined, calling attention to her fitness. The smile on her face was soft and reminded me of when the only thing that could fix a bad day was a hug from my mom.

A strong and caring woman, she was as much a hard ass when I was growing up as I was a stubborn and challenging kid. Though strong, I remembered the days, weeks, she could barely get out of bed after dad passed.

Thalia and I took turns visiting during the day to make sure she had something as simple as a glass of water and a granola bar. Until one day, I came over and she was in the garden kneeling over freshly tilled soiled. Caught up in loudly singing with the radio, she didn’t hear me approach. When I spoke, it startled her so much that she accidentally knocked over a bird bath in an attempt to stand. The commotion promptly caused her to roll to her back like a turtle. I chuckled at the memory, and she looked at me inquisitively.

“Just laughing at how I’m probably the reason you have so many grays,” I explained, laughing.

She swatted away the notion with a scoff. “Theo Emerson, how dare you? Thalia said gray hair is in.” Fluffing her short pixie cut, she paused. “Do you want to talk about it? ”

Thinking over my response, I chewed on my cheek and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for being rude. I’ll apologize to Paul before I leave.” She nodded with acceptance but made no sound or moves, so I continued. “I’ve always looked up to you and dad. You always seemed so impenetrable. I wasn’t ready for him to die, and apparently, I wasn’t ready for you to date either. I guess I just always saw you two as a perfect couple. Proof that true love exists.”

“And who is to say it doesn’t?” she asked in an offended tone.

I waved my hand around, signaling the encompassment of everything. “If dad was your true love, why is Paul here?”

Silence sat heavy as mom pulled her thoughts together. Looking at the stars sprinkled throughout the sky, I took in the vast beauty. Was dad up there watching us right now?

“Theo, dear, I loved your father deeply, and I do still believe he was a true love. We had a beautiful life together. His love was fierce and sturdy. It was loud and true. I never questioned it. When he would come back every Friday, wearing my father down week by week, my heart would flutter with anticipation every Friday morning, knowing that I was going to even glimpse at him through my bedroom window.

“That feeling was special to your father. I know deep in my soul that I will never feel that specific love again.

“I wasn’t looking to date, but one Saturday as I was strolling through the farmer’s market, there was Paul. He was selling honey—he’sa beekeeper.” She nudged my shoulder. “I bought a jar—you know that lavender honey you like so much? Anyhow, I bought a jar, and he asked me for a date in exchange. Then, well, every weekend after that, I’d get those flutters again on my drive over, waiting to see him, if only for two minutes .

“Now Paul…his love is light and warm. His love is the kind that lives for each day, bringing excitement to everything he does.

“They are two very different types of love, for different times in life, and they are both true. I tell you this to assure you, my dear son, that your father was a true love, and I will always love him. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t find true love again. The feeling is so visceral, one that embeds itself in your bones and begs to be recognized. I can’t deny myself this.”

I considered what she shared as I continued to sit without speaking. Her words resonated with me, and I soaked in the idea. The feeling she spoke of, I knew of. It was what lived in me.

The conversation sealed my feelings for Ellie, creating both calm and panic in me. I found peace in her—was it really possible that it was over, having been ripped away from me?

Mom began rubbing my back, pulling me from my thoughts. “Does this have anything to do with Ellie, honey?”

“No,” my response was reflexive, and I took a deep sigh before correcting myself. “Yes. She broke things off with me, and I’m not sure I even really understand why. She just went on about not being who I was meant to be with, and that we should end things before they got too serious.”

She hummed in response. “Did she tell you who she thought you were supposed to be with?”

“She mentioned a few names.” I laughed at the ridiculous memory. “But, mom, they were all women I’m not even remotely interested in. I have no idea why she even jumped to that conclusion; they are rude and self-centered and do whatever they can to be exactly who you want them to be. Ellie is unique and fierce and won’t change for anyone but herself. That’s why I love her.”

Patty’s eyebrows rose at that word. Love.

“Remember that story I told you about Pop Pop not approving of your father? Well, those things he said got to your father, regardless of how untrue they were. When he asked Pop Pop for his blessing to propose to me, he still said no. That ‘no’ sent him into a spiral. He quit his entry-level job and began teaching, thinking it was a path my father would approve of. Slowly, I noticed him sink into a depression. Eventually, he started questioning if I was meant to be with someone ‘better suited’ for me.

“I said to hell with that notion and screw my father. Edwin Emerson was without a doubt who I was meant to be with. I convinced your dad to quit teaching and find a way back to his old job. Then I proposed to him.”

“No,” I said in disbelief.

“Oh, yes. I sure did. I thought your Pop Pop’s head was going to explode when I told him.” She started laughing. “You should have seen his face. Redder than my tulips over there.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell us this?”

“You never asked,” she smiled, her eyes hazy with memories. “My point is, if she is feeling that way, there may be a reason behind it. Whether you understand it is irrelevant. Understand where she is coming from, then decide what you’re going to do about it.”

Another beat passed before I stood, holding my hand out to my mom.

“I guess I better go apologize now,” I said, helping her to her feet and opening the door.

She patted my cheek and kissed the other before waltzing into her home.