The Light in Us

7. Fallon – seven years later

7

Fallon – seven years later

I count the packages lining the counter again, my lips moving. Count the coins on the counter.

Not right.

Then I look down at the receipt in my hand, as if it will have somehow changed in the ten seconds since I last checked.

Cold hands curl around my throat in a phantom grip, and I swallow hard.

It’ll be fine.

Slowly, I pack the shopping away, making sure everything is at least in the right place, before I clean around the kitchen again.

There’s not much to clean. The white marble around me is sharp and cold and smells like bleach. Shaun prefers it that way.

He doesn’t like clutter.

I head upstairs to shower and wash my hair. I take a few minutes extra to curl it, to apply my make-up like I’m heading into battle and slip into a tea dress, before I move back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I glance at the clock, the phone. Waiting, but it doesn’t ring.

They’re coming home, then.

When the door finally opens a few hours later, the candles have burned down to almost stumps. Almost as much as my own nerves, as I sat here and waited.

I stand up, my hands brushing over my dress.

Shaun walks in first. His eyes, icy blue and so familiar, scan me and then the table, curving up. “You look lovely this evening, Fallon. Dinner, not so much.”

Smiling, I force down the lump in my throat. “I can reheat dinner. It was fresh an hour ago. I… I wasn’t sure what time you’d be home.”

He only raises an eyebrow, setting his briefcase down on the side as the others follow him in. Ellis already looks irritated, and my stomach curls in on itself as he shakes raindrops from his hair. “Forgot my umbrella this morning. You should have reminded me.”

“Sorry.” Rushing around the table, I help him out of his jacket and duck around Rory to hang it up in the hall. He doesn’t look at me at all, engrossed in his emails. “Are you hungry?”

“Not for that .” Ellis scowls, ignoring the food set out in favor of sticking his head into the fridge instead. “I thought you went shopping today.”

My anxiety explodes into a waterfall of butterflies. “I – I did.”

Shaun rounds the table. He doesn’t say anything. Just holds out his hand. Slowly, I turn behind me and grab the receipt, handing it over to him.

He checks it carefully, as he always does, moving over to the dish where I place the change. I move to the table to clear the space in front of Ellis as he sits, shoving the steak away with a grimace. My heart thumps almost painfully inside my chest.

Today will not be a good day.

“It’s not all here.” At Shaun’s terse words, Rory looks up from his phone. He smiles, but his brows knot.

“Fallon?”

He sounds so reasonable. As if there’s a simple explanation for my fuck-up.

I half-raise my shoulders, half shake my head. My words are small when I force them out. “I… I think I might have dropped some money at the store. I’m really sorry—.”

The queue was too long, the rush to put the groceries through and get home on time a frantic one.

I flinch back as Shaun raises his hand. But he only gives me an exasperated look, crumpling the receipt as he runs his other hand through his hair. “Honestly, Fallon, you act like I’m going to hit you.”

My legs begin to shake. “No – it’s just… I’m sorry, Shaun.”

Shaun nods after a moment. And hope – such a dangerous emotion – makes me brave. I offer him a smile, hiding the twisting of my fingers in my dress. “I can… make you something else for dinner?”

He glances down at the table. “I think we’ve wasted quite enough today, don’t you?”

“Of course.” I rush to the table as they take their seats. Ellis ignores the cold food in favor of slapping together a sandwich, ripping into the leftovers of the chicken I cooked yesterday as Rory and Shaun dig into the food I made tonight.

It’s silent. I settle down between them, staring down at my own food. “How was work today?”

“Busy,” Rory says. “It would have been nice to come home to a hot meal.”

My eyes start to burn. I don’t touch my plate. “Sorry.”

Shaun’s fingers are cool as he tangles them with mine. A small pulse of pain echoes in my stomach at the contact. I peer up at him as he lifts my hand, presses his lips to the back of my hand. “No, I’m sorry.”

I… blink.

He’s never apologized to me. Not once. Not since that first day we met.

“We’re not doing a good job, are we?” He turns to the others. “We need to work harder, it seems. Particularly if our omega is going to spend money as if it’s water – even throwing it away.”

There it is.

“It was an accident.” I keep my head low. “I’d be happy to replace it.”

Laughter, from Shaun. Ellis joins in, his chuckles mocking and cruel. “With what, exactly?”

Breathe.

I hold his gaze. “I was actually thinking… I could get a job.”

The laughter cuts off abruptly. Rory is well and truly paying attention now. “What?”

They’re all staring at me as if I’ve announced I want to go to the moon.

“A job.” Shaun still has my hand in his. It feels as if he’s holding me hostage. “Just for some… some extra money for the house. Then I could replace anything I lost, and… and I wouldn’t be such a burden to you.”

“You’re not a burden.” Shaun’s eyes are burning now. He tugs my hand, pulls me into his lap. His hold is a little too tight as he grips my chin. “But we work hard to support you, Fallon. We work our asses off to give you a home. Everything you need. We take care of you. And in return, you take care of us. That goes both ways. It’s how a relationship works. That’s your role as our mate.”

But I’m not your mate.

I don’t wear their bites on my skin - although I wear plenty of them elsewhere, savage and deep tears that barely ever have a chance to heal before the next ones sink in.

In my self-confidence.

In my independence.

In my damn soul .

But not in my skin. Something I started to be grateful for a long time ago. Even though it hurts – a physical pain that never truly goes away.

Manageable, though. For the most part.

Something must flash across my face, then, because his grip tightens. Not quite pain, but not pleasant, either. “Say whatever it is that’s in that empty little head of yours.”

I don’t want to stray down the path of mating bites.

“I want to work,” I whisper. I lift my hand, wrap it around his as I hold his gaze. “ Please , Shaun. Just a few hours each week. You wouldn’t even notice. I’ll make sure it doesn’t interfere with the house.”

“You want a little more independence, Fallon?” I break our stare, twist to Ellis. He’s smiling, but there’s nothing pleasant in it. “You got it.”

Shaun stiffens beneath me, a look passing between them as Ellis holds out his hand. “Come here, baby.”

Slowly, I take it, letting him pull me off Shaun’s lap. “Where are we going?”

His hand slips up to my wrist, tugging me down the hall. We walk into my bedroom as he drops his hold, moving to my small wooden wardrobe tucked away in the corner. “Ellis?”

Shaun and Rory fill the doorway behind me.

Ellis yanks the doors open, glancing at me over his shoulder. “If what we’re providing you isn’t good enough, then clearly we should take it away .”

He reaches in, ripping out a rail of the dresses they prefer me to wear.

The butterflies in my stomach turn to lead. “That’s not what I meant.”

Behind me, Rory sighs heavily, but he doesn’t say anything.

“How else are we supposed to take it?” Shaun’s hands land on my shoulders, holding me in place as Ellis tears one dress down the middle. “Clearly, these things aren’t good enough. So you can go and get a job by all means, and buy your own from now on. Don’t forget about the make-up, Ellis.”

His fingers massage into my skin as Ellis works his way through my clothes. Nothing is left untouched, the pile of ripped material on my bed growing. And all the while, Shaun keeps me in my place.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper finally. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Lips on my neck, stabbing pain. “Well, you did. And there are consequences to that.”

Ellis moves to my dressing table next, tugging over the trash can and emptying my make-up into it.

“Don’t cry,” Shaun murmurs. “I never realized you were so… avaricious , Fallon. Such a greedy little omega. I’m disappointed in you.”

I shake my head, tears dripping from my chin. “I’m not. I promise. Please don’t.”

But they don’t listen. Shaun holds me in place, making me watch as Ellis rips through everything else. He yanks out my drawers, emptying the meager contents. Even my underwear is torn.

My fingers grip the dress I’m wearing. Ellis shoots me a considering glance, but he props the trash under his arm. “I think the lesson’s been learned.”

His eyes slide toward my bedside table, and I freeze, terror suddenly tightening my throat.

No—

But he only smiles at me. As if he’s reminding me what else he could take. “See? I’m not cruel , Fallon. I’d never hurt you like that. Not unless you deserved it.”

Ice in my blood, crystallizing in my veins as he waits and I force my lips to form the words he’s waiting for. “I know. Thank you, Ellis.”

The lesson was learned a long time ago.

“Get a job by all means,” Shaun murmurs into my ear. He presses a kiss to my cheek, lingering as if he’s tasting my pain. “We’re not stopping you, Fallon. I don’t know what kind of work an omega with no skills or degree can get, though. Do you, Ellis?”

“I have a few ideas.” He smirks at me. “But she’s pretty useless at that, too.”

My whole body flushes in humiliation. The pain in my stomach peaks.

“Enough,” Rory murmurs from the doorway. He’s frowning, as he hasn’t stood there and watched the whole thing. And pathetically, I’m grateful for it. “Leave her alone now. You’re upsetting her.”

Shaun turns me to face him. He cups my cheek, studying me. “She’s not upset. Are you, baby?”

Slowly, my head twists as he watches me expectantly. “You’re… you’re right. I don’t need to work.”

“That’s right.” He pulls me closer, cold lips brushing mine. “And if you’re a good girl, we’ll buy you some new things to replace these old ones. Something that doesn’t make you look like you stepped out of the fifties.”

His tone is accusatory, even though he picked out my now-ruined clothes himself. “Thank you.”

Shaun raises an eyebrow. My skin crawls as I choke the words out. “Thank you, alpha .”

“There.” He turns to leave. “All we ask for is a little gratitude, Fallon. But you have to throw it back in our faces all the damn time.”

Ellis follows him, whistling, a trash can stuffed with the few things I have, broken and ripped beneath his arm.

And Rory – Rory stays where he is.

I hug myself as tight as I can, blinking away the mist that covers my eyes.

I’m tired. So fucking tired. “I’m sorry, Rory.”

“I know.” His voice is soft. “It’s been a long day.”

I swallow. Hating myself for asking. “Will you… can I stay with you tonight?”

He shakes his head, and I hate myself even more. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please.” My voice drops to the barest whisper. “It’s been… a long time.”

Weeks.

And for an omega surrounded by her pack, even if we’re not formally mated… that long without physical contact hurts . Even Shaun’s grip on my shoulders sent a pulse of pain through my abdomen.

I need them. My body has been conditioned to think of them as my pack.

I need them almost as much as I fucking despise them.

Rory keeps me waiting for another minute.

Pathetic, Fallon.

I can see it on his face, even as he watches me.

“Why do you keep me here?” I say finally. “If you don’t want me?”

I could leave. I don’t think they would bother to stop me. I could walk out the door, but I have nothing .

No bank account. No phone. No identity documentation.

They have it all. Everything that made me Fallon Matthews. The Smith pack stole my entire life from me. They stole it with lies disguised as kindness, and I was too numb to see it.

Not until it was too late.

And now, my life is carefully segmented into the boxes they choose for me.

I didn’t want to be alone, so I chose them. And now… now I’m more alone than I ever could have realized.

Rory’s face softens into something that almost borders regret, and he holds out his hand to me. “Don’t say that. You’re ours, Fallon. Come on, then.”

I go to him. Pathetically grateful for the skin contact as he palms my neck, pulls me closer. And then he digs into his pocket, pulling out a few crumpled dollar bills. Five of them.

I stare down as he presses them into my hands before his lips press to my skin, trailing down my throat. “Get yourself a coffee from that little place by the grocery store tomorrow. You deserve a treat. Just between us, okay? I don’t need a receipt.”

I clutch the money in my trembling fingers as his fingers slip beneath my dress. “Thank you.”

And at this moment, I hate him. Hate all of them.

Almost as much as I hate myself.