The One Who Holds Me (Sovereign Love #4)

13. Alex

13

ALEX

NOW

I tap my pen slowly on my desk and rub my forehead as Melissa wraps up her presentation and takes a seat next to me again on the conference table. Today, I’ve been meeting with each of the managers individually to get a better idea of what their team does and how I can help.

All the meetings so far have been insightful and I’m excited to get to work and show them what I know how to do best. What I’m not so excited about is the fact that I haven’t seen Olanna at all today. I know her office is on the third floor, and only Lerato can tell me her whereabouts at any time during the day, but I was hoping she would come down at some point.

Is she so swamped with work that she can’t leave her office for one second? Or is she just avoiding any possibility of seeing me?

“Thank you, Melissa. I’ll look at the analytics and schedule another meeting with you. I think you’re doing a great job here.”

“Aww, thank you.” The middle-aged woman flashes me a grin before tucking a strand of her curly brown hair behind her ear. “I’m glad you said that. When I first got the promotion to digital marketing manager two years ago, it seemed very daunting to fill Yin’s shoes, but I think I’ve found my bearings now.”

“That’s good to know.” I return her smile. “If Yin used to be the digital marketing manager, and he’s now the manager director, who was the managing director before Yin?”

“Oh, that was Emmanuel, Olanna’s older brother. Have you met him before?”

My body stiffens, and I straighten my back. “No, I haven’t.” And maybe now is not the right time to meet him, as I hear I have a punch waiting for me.

“We all thought he was going to take over the company after their father, but he now runs a fast-growing charity marketing agency with his wife Heather.”

Ah, that makes sense. So he ended up marrying Heather like Olanna predicted. I’m glad at least one of the two siblings had a happy ending for their love story. “Good for them.”

“Yeah and for us too, because now we have Olanna as CEO. Don’t get me wrong, we all loved Mr. Madu as the CEO, but Olanna is just awesome. She’s the best, don’t you think?” Melissa sends me a sly smile, almost wiggling her eyebrows as she speaks.

Wait a minute? Does she know about Olanna and me?

“Yes, she’s the best indeed,” I respond before changing the subject. “Well, thank you again. I’m going to study your analytics on your social media pages and come up with suggestions on how we can use SEO strategies to increase your reach, especially when you start posting about HearCare’s upcoming launch.”

“That’s exciting. I’m looking forward to it.” Melissa packs up her folders before making her way to the door.

At least one person is happy I’m here. I’ll count that as a victory.

“Oh, Melissa?” I call out to her before she opens the door. “Have you seen Olanna today?”

“No, I haven’t, but I think she’ll be in her office. She usually comes down in the morning to greet everyone before the start of the day and she didn’t do that this morning, so I’m not sure. You can ask Lerato, though.”

“Sure. Thanks.” I nod and Melissa leaves.

I rub my beard and pack up my folder before returning to the office allocated to me yesterday. After dropping my folder on the desk, I make my way to the third floor to find Olanna. I don’t even know what my game plan is, but all I know is that if anything, I need to make sure she’s okay.

The third floor, which I’ve gathered is for senior management, is much quieter than the second floor which has the open plan office. It has a reception, which I was told is manned by Lerato, but today she, too, is not there.

I press the bell at the reception and wait for someone to pop out and after a few seconds, the sound of approaching footsteps saunters into my ears. I turn around to meet Lerato’s approaching silhouette because of the dimly lit corridor, but her big afro gives her away before she steps into the light.

“Hi, Alex.” She sends me a smile before walking around to her desk. “Can I help you?”

“Hi, yes. Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to find out whether Olanna is in today?”

“No, she’s not. She called this morning to say she’ll be working from home today, so I came in to pick up some files for her.”

“Oh,” I say, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice. “Is she ill?”

“Well, I don’t know the details, but I’m on my way to see her. Did you want me to pass on a message?”

No, but I’d like to have her house address. The words slip to the edge of my tongue, but I hold them back, because I’m not about to start raising eyebrows around here. Especially since it seems no one knows about my previous relationship with Olanna. At least not yet.

“No,” I say, after realizing Lerato was still waiting for a reply. “Never mind, I’ll just send her an email. Do you know when she’ll be back at the office?”

Lerato shrugs. “No, it could be tomorrow, or later this week. I’m not sure.”

I nod, wondering whether I should leave a message. Should I ask her how she is? Or ask her to call me? Or should I tell her to get well soon? That would be really awkward if she’s not ill.

“She seems really busy,” I say, as Lerato and I walk toward the elevator. “Does she have time for her boyfriend outside of this place?” I sneak in an attempt to find out about her relationship status, and Lerato jumps in with an immediate response.

“What boyfriend?” She shakes her head. “The girl has no time to date.”

“Is that so?” I wasn’t expecting Lerato’s response to bring me so much joy.

“Yeah. I have a feeling someone broke her heart before and now she just shuts down any opportunity of dating.”

A pang of guilt rises in my chest, followed by jealousy at the thought of Olanna considering any other man but me. But what right do I have to think that way? I was the one who broke her heart after she begged me not to.

“Well, we can hope and pray for our boss, right?” I say as Lerato steps into the elevator.

“That’s right. I know someday she’ll find true love.” Lerato slips in before the elevator door closes shut and I stand there, staring at it and considering her words.

I can’t help but wonder how different things would’ve been if I hadn’t walked away. Being here and experiencing the aftermath of my selfishness is soul-destroying. Lord Jesus, please soften Olanna’s heart again.

I return to my office and sit at my desk before letting my head drop in my hands. I don’t know why I hoped today would be the day I speak to her. Of course, she’s the CEO and she can work from home as long as she pleases. But she blocked my number and I can’t send personal emails using my work email address, so I basically can’t reach her. This is proving to be more difficult than I thought.

A knock on the door causes me to lift my head and Neil—the PR manager—pokes his head into my office. “Hey, man. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, thanks. We have a meeting at two, right?”

“Yup, that’s right. I might be a little late because I have to rush home. It’s a family emergency.”

“Yeah, sure. That’s okay.” I nod. “Family comes first.”

“Cool. Thanks, man.” He closes the door again.

After another ten minutes of questioning all my life choices, I pick up my jacket and walk out of the office to get some fresh air.

“Going out for lunch?” Melissa’s voice stops me in my tracks and I turn to look at her.

Lunch. Of course, that’s a brilliant idea. “Yeah,” I say, glancing at my watch. “I thought I’d take a short walk to check out some places.”

“You should definitely try Rosa’s Café across the street. Their sandwiches are to die for.” Melissa literally lights up as she spends another five minutes talking about their panini, as if they were the greatest discovery ever known to man.

“Wow, thanks for the recommendation. I’ll head there now.” I smile at her and make my way to the elevator and out of the building.

The instant calming aesthetic of the café welcomes me as I walk in, followed by the soothing saxophone music playing from the overhead speakers. The aroma draws me in further and I take a minute to admire the plant wall decor before making my way to the counter. I’m the only one in line, but there are approximately a dozen people seated in the café eating their meals.

“Hi, can I have a steak and cheese panini, a side of fries, and some diet coke, please?”

“Yeah, coming right up. Please take a seat.”

I pay for my food and walk further into the café to find a seat. Shortly after settling down into a turquoise velvet tub chair next to the window, the server brings my order and I say a quick prayer for the food before digging in.

The steak and melted cheese blend in really well, but the combination of the caramelized onions and horseradish sauce causes an explosion of flavor in my mouth. I’m definitely coming back here again because Melissa was not exaggerating.

My phone rings in my pocket, giving me a break from my meal as I take it out to answer Kwame’s call. Between him navigating his second year of med school and keeping his flourishing relationship with India afloat, it’s difficult to know the best time to call him. But he always makes time out to call me back. “Yo, bro.”

“How’s it going, my brother? You good?” he asks, and I swallow the food in my mouth before responding.

“Yeah, I’m good…I guess.” I know even a child would not find my response convincing enough.

“Yeah, I wish I could believe you, but you’re a terrible liar, so start spilling. Have you spoken to Olanna yet?”

I dab the corner of my mouth with a napkin. “No, I haven’t.”

Kwame’s sigh on the other end of the line mirrors mine. “What happened?”

“I messed up before I even got the chance to speak to her.” I rub my beard and stare out the window. “There was a change of plans yesterday, so instead of meeting their managing director, I had to have a direct meeting with Olanna and boy, I gotta say, she was not happy to see me.”

“Well, you expected that, right? We knew it would take some time for her to come around, given how things ended between you two.”

“Yeah, but she didn’t turn up to work today. I spoke to her assistant, who said she’s working from home, but I have a feeling she’s avoiding me.” I sip on my coke before continuing. “You should’ve seen the look on her face yesterday, Kwame. She hates me. She even left the room for about thirty minutes shortly after I arrived, and I saw the tears in her eyes. I’ve only been here for two seconds and I’ve already made her cry. I don’t see how I can ever get through to her. It’s impossible.”

“Of course, it’s impossible…with your own thinking and your own strength.” Kwame’s subtle reminder cuts deep into my soul, and I sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just that it’s hard to see how much pain I caused her without chiding myself for it. Sometimes I wish God hadn’t opened a door for me to come here. Maybe it would be best for everyone if things stay as they are. Maybe I should let her be, so she can move on with her life. Telling Olanna the truth will require me to reopen the old wounds on my end, too, and I’m not sure I want to relive those memories.”

“But this is not about you, Alex,” Kwame cuts in. “It’s about what God is planning for both of you. God instructed you to tell Olanna the truth. Shutting your mouth now will mean disobeying God, and you know you’ll have regrets about that. Doing the right thing doesn’t always come easy, but just because you don’t feel comfortable doing it doesn’t mean you should give up. You already gave up on this relationship once before and you’re still facing the consequences. You can’t let history repeat itself. If you love Olanna, you’d at least try.”

He’s right. I do love her. I still love her. I’ve never stopped loving her, and that’s why this process hurts so much. “Okay, I guess I’ll just have to wait for when she’s back at the office and then I’ll find a good time to talk to her.”

“That’s my man,” Kwame says. “Just send me a text anytime. You know I’ll always respond…even if it takes me a day or two.” We both laugh and Kwame ends the call.

Lord, please. Give me the strength to obey. No matter how hard it is.