The Risks We Take Duet Box Set

71. Carys

CARYS

E merson and I stare at Jessie, who’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed, as she puts together a baby swing like she’s done it a million times.

“You know you’re strangely good at that, Jess.” Emerson’s milk has come in, so she’s decided to try to nurse Elodie. She’s currently lying on her side with her gigantic boob out while Elodie gets milk drunk. Her little eyes are heavy-lidded while her tiny fingers are wrapped around one of Em’s. When Em looks up at me, she laughs. “What are you staring at, CC?”

“Seriously?” I tease her. “Your boobs are massive. They’re bigger than Elodie’s head.”

“Don’t be jealous, sister. They hurt like hell. That’s why I’m nursing. I never thought I’d want to do this. It’s strange. I sorta feel like a cow, but...” She looks down at her beautiful baby. “I kinda love it.”

Emerson jerks her head toward Jessie when she sniffles. “What the hell, Jess? I’m the one who’s supposed to be hormonal and crying, not you.”

Jessie makes a noise that falls somewhere between a sob and a snort, then hides her face in her hands, laughing... I think.

“Oh my God. What was that?” I grab a pillow from the couch and toss it across the room at her.

Jessie catches it with ease, then holds it against her chest. “Sorry. I’m a mess.” She’s quiet for a moment, then smiles. “Ford and I didn’t want to say anything until we were out of the first trimester. But I hit thirteen weeks a few days ago. So, I guess, surprise . I’m pregnant.”

Emerson and I both squeal, and I jump off the couch to hug Jessie.

Elodie doesn’t like the interruption and squawks like a baby bird, to make sure we all know she’s unhappy about being disturbed, before Em lifts her to her shoulder to burp her.

“I’m so happy for you guys, Jess.” We sway from side to side as we hug.

“Really?” she asks with a sadness to her voice.

Wow . What kind of friend am I that she even has to question that? “Yes. Really. This is fantastic news.” I squeeze her. “Another baby to love.”

A few months ago, it would have been harder news to handle.

Hell, it was harder news when my entire family decided being pregnant together was a fabulous thing. But I was never... not for one single moment, not happy for them.

Life has kicked my ass a little since then.

Priorities changed.

Just then, Rook comes out of the basement, where Ford, Cooper, and he have been hiding for the last hour.

Not sure if they’re plotting world domination or figuring out how to kick Axel’s ass, but something had Cooper worked up earlier.

Rook’s eyes bug out of his head as he looks from a hugging Jess and me over to Emerson’s giant boobs before averting his eyes and, I’m pretty sure, blushing. “I just wanted to grab a drink.” He points toward the kitchen.

Em laughs. “Yeah, so did Elodie.”

Jessie and I fall into a fit of giggles as Rook turns right back around and heads back downstairs, slamming the door shut behind him.

“What are they doing down there anyway?” Em puts her boobs away and hands Elodie to me before she moves into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of water.

Jessie and I look at each other with trepidation.

They put Em on an antidepressant last night, and it should take a few days to kick in. In the meantime, she’s really trying to get herself in a better place, and I worry that what I’m about to say is going to cause her to spiral. The Em we’ve had today has been very different from the one I’ve been around for the past week.

“There’s some stuff going on that the guys are dealing with from the last op,” I tell her, hoping she doesn’t ask any questions but knowing Emerson well enough to know there’s zero chance of that happening.

She lifts her glass to her lips, watching Jessie and me as she drinks the entire thing.

Her hand shakes as she sets the empty glass down on the marble counter, and then she places both palms flat on either side of it and levels us with an icy glare. “What kind of stuff?”

“Honey.” Jessie moves to her side and rubs a hand over Emerson’s back. “Why don’t you sit down?”

Em shrugs her off, spinning away so fast her hair whips against Jessie’s cheek. “I don’t want to sit down. I don’t want to be coddled. I want one of you to tell me what’s going on. What do I not know?” Her face pales. “Oh God—” she breaks on a sob. “Does it have something to do with Linc?”

I consider putting Elodie in the swing, but I’m not sure if Jessie finished putting it together, so I shift her in my arms instead. “Em... I don’t think either of us knows everything yet.”

Jessie nods in agreement. “We don’t. Ford refuses to tell me everything. But what we do know is that Axel has gone AWOL. And he’s causing problems. I think that’s what they’re talking about.”

“No.” Em slaps her palm against the counter. “I’m not going to be kept in the dark in my own house. Especially not about something involving the death of my husband.” She marches over to the basement door, a furious red suddenly coloring her previously pale cheeks.

But she doesn’t have a chance to reach for it before it swings open and Ford steps through. He grabs Em’s shoulders, steadying her, as Rook and Cooper move out around him. “You okay, Emerson?”

“No. I’m not okay. One of you needs to start talking now. I want to know what happened...” She swallows and takes a beat to gather herself. “What happened to Linc? And what’s going on with Axel? This is my house, and you’re not allowed to keep something from me in my own damn house. I don’t care how big of an alpha male each one of you is. I will cut you down if I have to.”

A look passes between the three guys before Ford clears his throat and motions for the couch. “Why don’t you girls take a seat.”

Emerson opens her mouth to protest, but Ford stops her. “Em, this isn’t easy for any of us. If you want to hear this, you need to sit.”

It’s then that I see the fatigue on Ford’s handsome face—the lines around his eyes and the tight set of his jaw as he tugs on Jessie’s hair.

I move to the couch and sit down with Elodie, who’s wide-awake, her violet eyes staring at me. “Come sit with me, Em.”

Jessie moves next to Em and holds her hand as the two of them sit down next to me.

The guys follow them over, each choosing a different spot to stand. All are similarly posed with crossed arms and frustrated scowls.

My heart hurts, looking at them, as Ford speaks.

“There’s only so much I can share and not get court-martialed for. You need to understand that.” His eyes swing to Cooper’s.

Coop scowls but speaks all the same, “ Right . Well, the Navy’s already kicked me to the curb, so I guess I’ll fill in the blanks. But keep in mind, my fucked up brain doesn’t remember any of this.”

Pain ricochets through me at his words, and as if sensing my hurt, Elodie nuzzles her soft head into the crook of my neck.

Cooper watches me as he fills in what blanks he can, while silent tears fall all around. It’s hard to believe any of us have any tears left to cry.

He fills in what he knows went down on the op and in Germany.

Then the way Axel approached me at the hospital.

But when he pauses and his eyes flare, I know there something else, even if he won’t say it.

Instead, Rook steps forward, adding, “We have something Axel wants back. But we can’t give it to him. We have connections trying to locate him, so he can pay for his crimes. But it could take a few days.”

The room sits silent until Emerson stands and reaches down to take Elodie from me. She doesn’t look at Cooper or Ford. Instead, she walks right up to Rook, fury filling her face. “Promise me he’s going to pay.”

“I promise,” Rook answers without hesitation.

She nods her head in acceptance. “He loved you guys. You know that, right? He said you were the only family he had. That you were his brothers. Don’t let him down.”

A dark expression stretches across Cooper’s face as he takes that hit and rolls with it.

I love my friend, but she didn’t need to say that. These guys have already taken this on themselves more than I think we’ll ever know. I know Coop blames himself. He might not have said it, but it’s obvious.

I wish I could take away all his pain.

Take away the hurt of the last few months and rewind the clock.

But that’s not an option.

I guess I need to love him through it, the way he wanted to do for me, and hope he’s less of a stubborn fool than I was.