The Season of Falling

14. Chapter 14

Chapter fourteen

Kasey

Thoughts of my conversation with Dean followed me around as I tidied up the living room. He was right. My dad and Kendra deserved to know what was going on with Grandpa. And my feelings on the matter? Well, they didn’t really matter. But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it tonight. Instead I pulled out my phone and found the group chat.

Me : There may have been some kissing tonight…

I waited until their very excited gifs started coming through.

Ro : What?? Details!

Hazel : I knew our plan would work!

I laughed at my friend’s excitement for me.

Me : Just a cheek kiss and maybe a hand kiss too *blushing emoji*

Ro : YESSS! The hand kiss! I told you!

Hazel : A hand kiss? Really? I still don’t think that’s hot…maybe you were just caught up in the moment?

Me : It was definitely hot.

Ro : Yeah, someday you’ll understand Hazel.

I clicked my phone off and started to get ready for bed. I loved my friends and their enthusiasm for life and love and happiness. We were always cheering each other on, even when we were miles apart. Maybe it was cheesy, but I started humming “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” while I brushed my teeth and changed into my pink and white flannel pjs. Was it cold enough for flannel yet? Not really, but I was manifesting autumn.

As I hummed a memory popped into my head, and I hurried to finish getting ready and climb into bed. With the lights shut off, I reached for my phone and tapped into my text conversation with Dean.

Me : Just getting started early on our reminiscing project.

Me : Remember that time not long after we became friends that we had that Disney movie marathon?

Dean : And we watched a few movies from each Disney decade? That was a blast. And I think that’s where our addiction to popcorn began.

I breathed a laugh through my nose. He was right about that. We’d watched at least fifteen movies over a long weekend. We hadn’t stopped to sleep or eat anything more substantial than pizza. And the mountains of popcorn we’d consumed had been concerning. We’d laughed, and quoted, and sang along to all the movies we’d picked out and had the best time.

Me : You’re so right about that *laughing emoji* *popcorn emoji*

Me : We should watch a movie together soon

Dean : Yes! My place this weekend? I can make dinner

I typed out my reply and hesitated before adding a heart and pressing send.

Me : That sounds perfect. I’ll see you then. 3

Dean : ;) 3

I sighed happily and turned off my phone before snuggling into my covers for the night.

I was distracted at work all day and both Matt and Linda took note.

I’d called Kendra and told her about Grandpa, and just like I thought, she planned to come out every weekend to see him and help with things. When I tried to insist she stay and enjoy her college experience, I could practically hear her eye roll through the phone. But I would wait to call my dad until after I had a chance to check on Grandpa again and see how he was really doing.

“You don’t look so good,” Matt said, eyes wide, when I came back from lunch.

My laugh was more of a scoff. “Just what every girl likes to hear.”

He smiled sheepishly. “You know that’s not what I meant. Is everything okay?”

Linda walked over at that moment and stopped by our desks. “I was wondering the same thing, actually. You were pretty unfocused during our meeting this morning.”

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms across my chest. Matt had to crane his neck to see me over the top of the cubicle divider. “I just have a lot going on. My grandpa is sick and apparently getting sicker, and I need to let my dad know, but he’s out of the country.” I shrugged and tried to force my lips into a “but it’s not a big deal” smile. By the looks on their faces, I didn’t do a good job of it.

“I’m so sorry, Kasey,” Matt said, his eyes filled with sympathy.

“You let me know if you need anything, okay?” Linda added. I nodded weakly and made a valiant effort to be less distracted for the rest of the day.

Once five o’clock hit, I hurried out of the office and to my car. I wanted to see for myself how Grandpa was doing. When I walked through the door I could hear Elvis Presley playing softly and pans clinking together in the kitchen.

“Hey, Grandpa,” I called as I entered the room.

He turned to face me with a pan and lid in his hands. “Kasey!” He grinned and set the pan down, walking over to give me a hug. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

I wrapped my arms around his frail body. “I just came to see how you’re doing.”

He waved a hand, going back to his pot and filling it with water. “Oh, no need for that. But since you’re here, do you want to join me for dinner? I haven’t been able to eat nearly as much lately, and this spaghetti won’t eat itself.”

He wouldn’t let me help more than to cut up the garlic bread, so I sat and watched as he shakily carried the pot to the stove. He didn’t look any different from the last time I’d seen him, but as he moved around the kitchen, I tried to see him from an outside perspective. He looked tired, maybe more tired than usual. He was moving more slowly and was getting shakier. But did all of that mean he was facing kidney failure? And soon?

Grandpa must have caught me staring because he stopped stirring the noodles and turned to face me fully. “What’s bothering you? You look troubled.”

“The hospital called me yesterday.” I couldn’t force myself to continue, but Grandpa seemed to understand what I was saying and he nodded.

“They told you that my health is getting worse, didn’t they?” It was my turn to nod. He sighed and turned back to the boiling noodles. “Kasey, I’m old, you know. I was never going to live forever.”

“Grandpa, don’t say that. You’re on the transplant list. You could still have lots more time.”

“Oh, you know how I feel about that. There’s no use wasting a perfectly good kidney on an old man like me.” He held up a hand before I could argue. “I’ve lived a good life, my dear. And I miss your grandmother something fierce. If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go. And who am I to argue?” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “But don’t worry about that too much. I’ve still got some life in me yet.”

I smiled weakly, but it was the last thing I felt like doing. I wanted to cry and yell and demand that he take a kidney, even one of mine. But I knew he wouldn’t. He was a stubborn old man who was content with his lot in life. “Will you at least let me know when you start feeling worse? I want to be here for you.”

“Of course I will, dear.”

“Oh, also,” I said, almost as an afterthought, “I told Kendra, and she’s going to be coming basically every weekend for the foreseeable future.”

Grandpa’s laugh followed me as I carried plates and cups to the dining room table. We ate dinner together, and I updated him on work and how things were going with Dean. He teased me plenty as we cleaned up, and I took in the joy of getting to spend so much time with my grandfather. Most of my friends didn’t have grandparents around anymore, and even though it broke my heart to think about living without him as a constant in my life, I felt so grateful for the time I did have.

By the time I got back home, I was tired and wanted to unwind, but I knew I needed to call my dad.

“Kasey? Is everything alright?” My dad’s voice sounded groggy when he picked up, and I cringed. I hadn’t even thought to check the time in whichever country he was in now. I wandered up the stairs of my apartment and into my room.

“Hey, Dad. I’m sorry I completely forgot to check the time. It must be the middle of the night. I can call back later.” I heard a bed squeaking as he moved around. I imagined him rolling out of bed and stuffing his feet into his slippers like he’d always done when Kendra and I were kids and had woken him up with our bad dreams.

“I’m already up so why don’t you tell me why you called. Is something wrong?” He sounded more alert, and I thought I heard water running in the background.

“I got a call from the hospital today.” While I paced around my room, I explained about Grandpa being on the transplant list, how he’d refuse a kidney even if one was found, and about how his health was going to decline more and more rapidly from here. Dad was quiet and didn’t say anything until I was finished.

“Did they say how long?”

I sniffed and sat on the edge of my bed, trying to keep it together. “Not really. But I did some googling today, and it seems like his health will just decline over a period of weeks or maybe a few months until he goes into kidney failure. And once he reaches that stage, it can be a few weeks or a few hours.”

Dad sighed deeply. “I’m not sure what to do. We’ll be back in about a month and a half anyway, and Charlotte’s really been looking forward to our next stop in Italy. And your grandpa’s health goes up and down all the time. Will you call me if it’s starting to look really serious? I can catch a flight back if I really need to.”

My tears dried up while he was speaking, and my sadness was replaced with anger. It sounded like he was trying to justify himself and make excuses, and I wanted nothing to do with it. “I hope you and Charlotte have a lovely time wherever you’re at, and I hope your father doesn’t die before you make it back from your vacation,” I said shortly, ignoring his question.

“Come on, Kasey. That’s not fair. Just because you don’t like Charlotte very much—”

“This has nothing to do with Charlotte, Dad.” That wasn’t entirely true, but she played a very small part in my current frustration. “Other than the fact that you’re using her as an excuse not to come back and see your father before he’s gone.” I swallowed thickly. “You can do whatever you want. Kendra and I can take care of things here.”

“Kasey, don’t be like that. Let’s talk about this and—”

“I really need to go and get ready for work tomorrow. Goodnight, Dad.” I hung up the phone and flopped backwards onto my bed with a groan. I rubbed the palms of my hands against my eyes and then let them rest there, enjoying the darkness.

My heart hurt when I thought about my relationship with Dad. We used to be pretty close, and it had been us and Kendra against the world. We’d had breakfast together every morning, he’d come to all our games and performances, and even been the one to teach us to cook. But growing up and then Mom dying and then Charlotte…it had all been too much too fast. I wanted to be okay with Charlotte, and I wanted to fix things with my dad, but I didn’t know where to begin. I thought back to my conversation weeks ago with Kendra about therapy. Maybe she’d been right about it being a good idea for me. It was something to look into, at least.

I sighed and got off the bed, moving to change and get ready for the night. All I knew for sure was that I was more than ready to see Dean and spend time with him again.