The Season of Falling

20. Chapter 20

Chapter twenty

Kasey

It had only been a few days since Hazel left, but we weren’t about to miss our weekly call. I was in the kitchen cutting up vegetables when the girls called. I put in my earbuds and propped my phone up against the flour container so I could keep working on dinner.

“Okay, spill.” Ro clapped delightedly. “We know you two kissed. For real this time.”

After the hike, I had seen them scrutinizing Dean and me, and I was sure they could see the entire kiss play across my face like a movie. I laughed and paused in my chopping to swipe some hair out of my face. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t pounce during the car ride back from the hike.”

“We wanted to, of course,” Hazel said, “but with all the guys and Emma there? Didn’t seem like the right place.” She was wearing an apron and bustling around her own kitchen as well. “But now is the perfect time for you to spill all the details.”

I told them the whole story, including when Dean remembered the friend weekend from the year before. They were excited about that, of course, but way more about the kiss.

“I never knew kissing in a cave could be so romantic.” Ro exclaimed.

“Yeah, should we be adding this to our bucket lists?” Hazel teased.

I pointed the knife at them through the phone screen. “Only if you want to fall extra in love.” They pretended to swoon, and we all dissolved into giggles. “But it was really good. And I’m really happy that he got that memory back.”

“But?” Hazel asked. “I can tell that there’s a but.”

“But what do I do now? Because he’s hopefully going to get all his memories back, and then he’s going to know that we aren’t really dating.”

Ro hummed and tapped her finger against her chin. “We always knew this was coming at some point, but I think we kind of just pushed the thought away.”

“What’s the worst that can happen? Let’s start there.” Hazel suggested. She grabbed a pen and paper and prepared to take notes.

“Secretary Hazel to the rescue,” Ro said with a laugh. It was a running joke between us, and I would have laughed along if my mind wasn’t already filling with ideas.

Hazel rolled her eyes and put the cap of the pen between her teeth to pull it open. “Okay. Worst case scenarios first.”

After thinking up everything that could go wrong we moved onto what could go right. I was less convinced about that column, but Ro and Hazel insisted we needed both sides. Once we finished brainstorming, Hazel snapped a picture and sent it in the chat.

“Okay,” Ro said, “what are your thoughts, Kase?”

“Well obviously the worst case is not ideal.” Ro and Hazel hummed in agreement before I continued. “And of course I want the best case where he’s in love with me and we live happily ever after.”

“Do you think you can live with any of the best case scenarios?” Hazel asked.

I sighed. Of course I could. If he was mad but actually in love with me, it would be sad for a little while, but work out in the end. And if he didn’t want to date but we could still be friends? Well, it would put us back exactly where we were before. And while my heart would break and continue to break a little bit every time we were together, I would take being friends over the alternative. Our friendship was more important to me than almost anything else.

“Yes,” I said finally. “I could live with any of them. But what about the worst case scenarios?”

“You and Dean have been friends for years,” Ro reassured. “I find it highly unlikely that he’d just drop you like that. And I’ve said it before, but he’s not acting like a man who’s not at least a little bit in love.”

“I’m not the most romantic of the group, but I agree with Ro on this one,” Hazel added. “Who’s making out in a cave like that if there aren’t genuine feelings?”

Ro snickered, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Don’t make me regret telling you guys the details.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Hazel asked, ever the planner.

I sighed again, deeper this time. “I still don’t know. But probably keep going the way we are. I’m not entirely convinced that those worst case scenarios won’t play out, but I also know I’ll definitely regret it if I don’t see it through to the end. I just need to come up with a really good way to explain myself.” My mind was already running through the various possibilities.

“I’m all for being prepared,” Hazel said, setting her plate down on her table and taking a seat. “But don’t forget to enjoy it as well.”

Ro nodded excitedly. “Yes! So far he’s asked you on a date and made most of the moves. I think it’s time you took a step up. Plan a date and ask him this time.”

Hazel agreed, and we spent a few minutes brainstorming fun date ideas that Dean and I could do. Long after we hung up, I replayed our conversation in my mind. From the first moment that Kendra put this entire Dating Debacle into motion I’d known that Dean was likely to get his memory back which would lead to some uncomfortable conversations. But I had decided to go along with the whole thing, and if I wanted any chance of it ending well Ro was right. I needed to do more.

As I cleaned up the kitchen, I had the perfect date idea. Dean and I had talked about kayaking on Lake Champlain ever since we moved to Burlington. We’d just never made it happen. The autumn leaves would only last a few more weeks, and I wanted to soak up every moment of their vibrant beauty. Once I got everything cleaned up, I immediately picked up my phone and dialed Dean.

“Hey, Kase,” he said when he answered. “What’s up?”

“How are you?” I asked, a smile coming to my face at hearing his voice.

“I’m good. How are you? Did you have a good day?” We spent a few minutes talking as though we hadn’t seen each other almost every day and talked even more often.

“Mostly I wanted to talk to you,” I said as I flopped down onto my bed, “but I also had a question. Do you want to go kayaking on Lake Champlain with me this weekend?” And like some teenager trying to ask their crush to the prom, I could hear the eagerness in my voice.

“Absolutely. I would love to.” Dean sounded just as excited as I felt, and I rested my free hand against my face, feeling the grin that stretched my cheeks. As we continued to talk, I could feel my worries start to fade. A kayaking date was exactly what we needed. And even after we finished talking and I was in bed for the night, I couldn’t stop smiling. I wasn’t sure if you could sleep with a smile on your face, but if it was possible, I did that night.