The Season of Falling

23. Chapter 23

Chapter twenty-three

Dean

I stared at Kasey in silence for a few moments trying to comprehend what she’d just said. Kasey, my best friend, had just admitted to being in love with me basically since the very beginning of our friendship. This was big, and my brain was working in overdrive to try and make sense of it all. She waited patiently, not rushing me to answer or confess my love in return.

Being with Kasey was fun and it felt right. I obviously liked her a lot. But was I in love with her? With my memories still trickling in and my life being turned upside down, I wasn’t sure. And that wasn’t something you said without being sure.

I pulled Kasey to a stop, unsure what I was going to say but knowing I needed to say something. The tension between us was palpable, and I swallowed hard. “Kasey, I—” My phone started ringing, breaking the moment. I pulled it from my pocket and saw Sarah’s name on the screen. I showed the phone to Kasey, and she smiled and nodded for me to answer.

“Hey, Sarah,” I said, making a valiant effort to keep my voice from shaking.

My sister’s voice sounded quiet amidst the chatter I could hear around her. “Dean, we landed a little early. Can you come pick us up sooner?”

My eyes went wide, and I smacked a hand to my forehead. I had completely forgotten that Sarah and the twins were coming. She’d asked me about it a few weeks ago, and I’d happily agreed. But apparently writing it down on my wall calendar did nothing against the problems I was having with short-term memory. Kasey grabbed my hand and squeezed, not knowing what was happening but offering her silent support all the same.

“Sure thing. I can head over right now,” I said, hoping that my sister couldn’t hear the panic and frustration in my voice. My house wasn’t very twin-proof, and there weren’t any sheets on the guest bed. “I’ll see you guys soon.” I hung up and turned to head back in the direction of the car.

“What is it?” Kasey asked. “Is everything all right?”

“A few weeks ago, Sarah called and we made plans for her and the twins to come and stay for a few days. I wrote it down on my calendar and everything, but somehow I completely forgot. And they just landed. I need to go to the airport to get them, but my apartment is not ready for guests. Especially not the two year old variety.”

Kasey laughed at my attempt at a joke as she kept up with my frantic pace.

“Your car is parked at my place so I’ll drop you off there so you can head home, and then I’ll go and get them,” I said more to myself than to her, but she tugged on my hand.

“I can toddler-proof it and make up the bed while you go to the airport to get them,” Kasey suggested.

“Don’t worry about it. I just can’t believe I forgot.”

Kasey pulled us to a stop. “I want to, Dean. Let me help you.” Her big brown eyes were pleading with me, and honestly, there probably wasn’t anything I wouldn’t agree to when she looked at me like that.

“If you’re sure, then thank you. That would be a huge help.”

She smiled up at me and continued our hurried pace back to my car. I dropped her off and drove quickly—but safely, of course—to the airport. As soon as I parked and walked around to the side of the car, Noah and Ivy launched themselves at my legs.

“Uncle Dean, Uncle Dean!” They chanted and squealed as they tugged on my pants. I crouched down and wrapped them both in a big hug.

“If it isn't my favorite twins. Are you guys excited to be here?” I asked, a huge smile on my face. They continued to giggle and tug on whatever part of me they could reach.

I looked up at Sarah who was chuckling. “You are the favorite uncle.”

“I’m the only uncle.” I laughed. “But I’ll take it. How was the flight?” I scooped the twins up and somehow still managed to get the car door open for Sarah to put the carseats in.

“It was long.”

“You only had to fly from New York. The flight isn’t that long.”

She scoffed. “Let’s have this conversation again after you do it with two almost two-year-olds. Trust me, it was long.”

I laughed and helped Sarah strap her squirming children into the car and pile their luggage into the back. Once she was settled in the passenger seat, I inched around the car ahead of us and headed toward my apartment. Even though I couldn’t remember exactly, I was pretty sure it had been awhile since I’d seen Sarah and the twins. We talked often, but phone calls and video chats just weren’t the same as being together in person. I glanced at the twins in the rearview mirror and saw that they were both already asleep.

“Dang, they’re out fast.” I laughed.

“Well it has been a very exciting day for them. Besides, they love to be in the car, and it’s the most sure fire way to get them to sleep. When they were really little, sometimes that was the only way to stop the screaming. Jason would complain until I left to load them up. Then I’d drive until they tired themselves out and fell asleep.”

I tensed at the mention of Jason, her high school sweetheart who had up and left once he decided that being a father wasn’t for him. If I ever saw him again, I don’t think anything could stop me from punching him in the face. I didn’t realize how tightly I was gripping the steering wheel until Sarah reached over and laid a gentle hand on my forearm.

“Dean, relax. I know you don’t like him. Neither do I. And hopefully we never have to see him again.” She squeezed my arm once before leaning back into her seat. “There’s no need to get worked up about things that don’t matter.”

I could hear the bitterness in her voice and it killed me. Jason had been her best friend, much like Kasey was mine. And the fact that he just left her after eight years of being seemingly inseparable was more than my brain could comprehend. Sarah had loved him and they’d had a pretty happy life and marriage until the twins were born.

Noah and Ivy were tiny and perfect, and I’d loved them from the first moment I saw them. But Jason complained about how loud they were and how much money you had to spend on them and how much of Sarah’s time they took up. He’d lasted only six months before one day he packed his stuff and left with barely a word.

Sarah had been a wreck. I’d flown to New York that summer to stay with her for a while and help with Noah and Ivy while she tried to figure out how to get her feet back under her. She eventually found a job as a waitress at a little diner and a good daycare for the twins to go to. It had been a really hard time, but Sarah was strong, and she’d weathered the storm better than anyone else I could imagine.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly as I pulled up to my apartment. I didn’t need to bring my anger towards the man who ruined my sister’s life into the house. I helped Sarah carefully carry the kids up the stairs and inside before returning to grab the suitcases.

“How long are you planning to stay?” I grunted as I set the bags down in the entryway.

“Only a couple of days, but you’d be surprised by how many changes of clothing they can go through in a day. Someday when you have kids, you’ll understand,” she said with a smirk.

“Who’s having kids?” Kasey asked as she came down the hall and into the living room.

“No one—”

“Dean—”

Sarah and I said at the same time.

“You’re having kids, and I didn’t even know?” Kasey teased. She walked over to me, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Sarah cleared her throat, and I felt like I’d been caught doing something wrong. Had I told her about Kasey and I? Based on the look on her face, the answer was that I had not told her.

Kasey must have seen the look too because when I glanced down at her her cheeks were pink. I grinned and bumped her hip with mine before dropping my arm and picking the suitcases back up.

“I’ll take these to the guest room real quick, and then we can lay Noah and Ivy on the bed.”

“Oh, they can stay on the floor. They’re going to wake up soon anyway.” Sarah grabbed the suitcases from me and turned to go down the hall. “And you don’t worry about this. I’ll go and unpack, and then we can catch up when I’m done.” She gave me a pointed look before smiling at Kasey and then disappearing down the hallway.

Kasey laughed a little nervously. “Well, that will be a fun conversation, and I’ll just leave you to it.” She turned to go, and I caught her hand before she could make it to the door.

“Hey, thanks for helping me with the house,” I said, pulling her to me and wrapping her in a hug. She sighed and snuggled closer.

“Of course, it’s no problem.” Kasey tilted her head up and smiled at me, her brown eyes twinkling. “I should probably get going now though.” She went up on her tiptoes and gave me a quick kiss before pulling away and heading for the door.

“I’ll call you later, okay? Just because Sarah and the twins are here doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you.”

She grinned at me over her shoulder before pulling the door closed as she left.

“I always knew you two were going to end up together, but when did this happen?” Sarah asked from behind me.

I jumped a little and turned around to face her. “Pretty recently, I think.” I rubbed the back of my neck as we walked to the dining room and sat at the table. “I don’t actually remember us getting together.”

“What do you mean you think?” She raised an eyebrow in a gesture that was sure to inspire fear in the hearts of her children when they got older. “I get that you have some memory loss, but haven’t you asked Kasey about it? And besides that, why didn’t you tell me? Even if you can’t remember when, I feel like that’s some big news you would have shared.”

“Sorry, Sarah,” I said sheepishly. “I didn’t even think about it.”

“Of course not, you’re such a guy.” She rolled her eyes and sighed.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I feel like things have been going pretty good with us.”

“If that smile on your face means anything, I’d say things are going better than pretty good. Give me the overview.”

I spent the next few minutes telling her about the different dates Kasey and I had been on and how much fun it had all been. I didn’t go into too much detail. Who told their older sister about kissing their girlfriend? Not me.

Sarah’s forehead was furrowed in confusion when I finished. “Something doesn’t make sense to me,” she mused, drumming her fingers against the table. “Kasey never mentioned it any of the times we talked during your accident. And like three or four months ago, you told me that you didn’t want to date her or do anything that might jeopardize your friendship. What changed?”

I closed my eyes and sighed in frustration, trying to remember the conversation she was talking about. Suddenly it was like my memories had been trapped in a locked box and Sarah’s words were the key. My eyes flew open with the memory she was referring to. It must have been not long before the accident and Sarah had questioned me yet again about Kasey on one of our phone calls. I’d been adamant that I wasn’t going to date her. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and as evidenced by Sarah and Jason, a romantic relationship would certainly put our friendship at risk.

“Did you remember something?” Sarah asked, eyes wide as she watched me. All I could do was nod as another memory filled my mind.

Kasey and I at a shave ice truck. Kasey admitting that she’d wondered about us dating. Me insisting that we couldn’t risk it. Our conversation that day played through my mind, one statement standing out more than the others.

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder the same thing.

My mind reeled as I tried to make sense of everything. I told her that I didn’t want to date. Didn’t want to risk our friendship. And she had agreed. At least it had seemed that way. But all this time, these past few months, she’d been lying to me. Betrayal and hurt coursed through me, making it hard to breathe. I leaned forward and rested my forehead against the cool surface of the table, trying to take deep breaths.

“What is it?” Sarah asked, and I could hear her concern.

“Kasey lied to me. She’s been lying to me the entire time.” My voice sounded small and broken. I knew she wouldn’t understand, so I did my best to explain how we’d sat at a sticky picnic table and she’d let slip that she thought about us dating. How I told her I didn’t want to. And how somehow, when I’d conveniently lost my memory, we were suddenly dating with no explanation as to how and when.

Sarah stared at me in shock when I finished. “I don’t even know what to say…but it can’t be as bad as it looks, right? Plus, you’ve been having a good time with Kasey. You just told me about all the dates you’ve been on. Maybe—”

“No,” I cut her off before she could continue. “Don’t make excuses for her. She lied. And I need to go and talk to her about it.” I stood from my chair and started quickly toward the door, but Sarah was faster and jumped up to grab my arm.

“You need to cool down first. You can’t go storming over there like this. I know you’re upset, and you don’t want me to make excuses. But you know Kasey. She’s a good person and your best friend. Don’t let your anger make you do something you’ll regret later.”

I lightly shook her hand off but changed course and headed to my bedroom. I flopped down on the bed and pressed my palms against my eyes. The darkness did nothing to alleviate the hurt I was feeling. How could she lie to me? How could she take advantage of me and my accident like that? I wanted to storm over there and demand answers, demand to know how and why. But Sarah was right. I needed to cool down and think about what I wanted to say first. Tomorrow I could go. Tomorrow I would get answers.