The Season of Falling

28. Chapter 28

Chapter twenty-eight

Kasey

Since Grandpa had been admitted to the hospital each day passed in much the same way. I went to work for a few hours and then spent the rest of the day with my family. Grandpa was still able to talk and laugh and joke, but we could tell he was getting weaker, his body beginning to shut down. Kendra and Dad stayed at the hospital nearly all day every day.

After calling Kendra a few days back, she had rushed over. The next morning we went to the hospital and found our dad already there, sitting beside Grandpa and telling him all about the trip to Europe. Kendra kept walking through the door as if everything was normal, but I stopped short. I’d left Dad a message about Grandpa, but I hadn’t heard back from him. And while I’d hoped he would come, somewhere in the back of my mind I must have doubted he would.

Kendra crossed the room and took Dad’s spot at Grandpa’s side. Dad gave me a thin smile as he came over and gestured with his head for us to step back out into the hall. I cast a glance at Grandpa, and his smile said “Remember what I told you, Kasey. Give him a chance.” I nodded once and followed him out, closing the door behind me.

“It’s good to see you, Kasey,” Dad said softly, leading me toward the hospital cafeteria. I wasn’t sure how I felt so I remained quiet. “I wanted to thank you again for taking care of all of this while Charlotte and I have been on our trip. It couldn’t have been easy, and I really appreciate it.”

“Well, someone had to do it,” I said shortly. My dad stiffened at my words, and I softened a little. I promised Grandpa I would give him a chance, go in with no biases and let him explain. “I’m just glad I live here close by,” I added, trying to smooth it over.

We walked the rest of the way in an uncomfortable silence, only broken by the squealing of chair legs as we took a seat at a small cafe style table. Dad crossed his arms across his chest and then uncrossed them and folded his hands in front of him on the table. He was nervous and uncomfortable, and I understood the feeling perfectly. We hadn’t had any sort of deep or meaningful conversation in quite a while. But I took a deep breath, and it was like muscle memory and echoes of the past. I sat forward and laid my hands on the table as well.

“We need to talk, Dad.” I took another deep breath, trying to gather all my thoughts. “And not only about Grandpa.”

He nodded. “We’ve needed to talk for a long time, haven’t we?” I allowed a small smile as he continued. “Kasey, when your mother died—” He broke off and cleared his throat. “That was the darkest period of my life. I was overcome by grief and sadness, and I didn’t know how to…do anything, I guess. I know I did a horrible job of helping you and Kendra through it, and I am so sorry for that. But you have to know, I loved your mother, and I was devastated for so long.”

I reached over and gently covered his hand with my own. “I know it was hard for you. And Kendra and I did okay.”

“But you shouldn’t have had to do it alone. And I know that everything with Charlotte was hard for you as well.” I sighed but let him continue. “Being alone after so many years was really difficult for me. It’s not like I jumped straight from your mom to Charlotte. There were a few years in between. Hard years. You were at school for most of it, but Kendra and I really had to band together. And then I met Charlotte.”

He got a far away look in his eyes. And I wanted to hate it on principle. Because he wasn’t talking about Mom. But more of the pieces were coming together, and the ending picture was going to be one where my dad was happy again.

“She had lost her husband as well, and we understood each other. I finally had someone who knew the grief and pain I was feeling. We started out as friends, but eventually it became more than that. I won’t go into detail, but Charlotte has helped me more than I can say. We make each other happy, something neither of us thought was possible again.”

I stared at my dad for a few moments. I hadn’t known that Charlotte’s husband had died as well. I was still sad about my mom and about my dad jumping so quickly to another woman. But if I thought about it, it wasn’t really that fast. And I softened even more. I didn’t want to continue to be mad at him. Dad and I used to be close, and I wanted that back

“I’m sorry for how I’ve acted toward you and Charlotte.” I kept my eyes on the crumbs scattered across the table. “I was sad and hurting, and I took it out on both of you.”

He squeezed my hands once. “I know, Kase. Maybe we can start over? A bit of a fresh start?”

“I would like that. Is Charlotte here?” I asked. “I should apologize to her as well.”

“No, she’s at your grandfather’s. She didn’t sleep well on the flight over and wanted to give us all some time together anyway.”

I smiled and started to stand. “Well, let’s go spend that time together then.” Dad smiled up at me as well before climbing to his feet and walking with me back toward Grandpa’s room. We walked in to find him and Kendra talking and laughing away.

“What’s so funny?” Dad asked as he pulled out a chair next to Kendra. I stayed by the door, leaning back against the wall and watching.

“She was telling me about this boy in one of her classes,” Grandpa said with a sly smile.

“Grandpa!” Kendra hissed.

Dad chuckled and scooted his chair closer to the bed. “A boy, huh? Is he cute?”

“Dad,” she groaned, apparently only able to form one word replies.

He laughed. “Don’t worry, we can save the interrogation until later.”

Grandpa started laughing as well, but it quickly turned into a wracking cough. Without thinking my feet took me to his side. I grabbed the cup of water from his bedside table and held it up for him to drink. Even through his coughs, I could see the scowl he sent me as he held out his hand for me to give it to him.

After a few deep swallows, the coughs subsided. “Are you okay?” I asked, taking the cup and setting it back down.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. You all worry too much.”

“Grandpa,” I said teasingly. “I hate to break it to you, but right now I think we’re all worrying the right amount.”

He crossed his arms like a child who didn’t get what they wanted, but his smile gave him away. “Well, I don’t like it much.”

“We know,” Kendra said, laughing. “You’ve never liked anyone to make a fuss over you.”

He nodded once. “That’s right, and I don’t need you to start now.”

Kendra leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before standing. “C’mon Dad, let’s go find some food. I haven’t eaten in hours, and I’m starving.”

Once they left, I walked over to the chair Kendra had been using and sat down with a sigh.

Grandpa looked at me with concern on his face. “What’s been bothering you, Kasey? You’ve seemed a little down these past few days.”

“I’ve just been worried about you,” I said. “As much as you don’t like it.”

“You’ve been worrying about me for a long time. I know that worried look. This is something different.”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I had never been good at keeping things from him, and he knew it. “It’s Dean,” I said. “We had a fight.” And then I told him everything. Some of it he already knew, but I told it all again anyway. He listened and nodded along, not interrupting once. When I finished, I slumped back in my chair, exhausted.

He whistled. “That’s quite the tale.” I nodded, and he whistled again. “You’ve got yourself into a pickle, that's for sure. But you know what you need to do, right?”

I nodded again. “I need to apologize. But Grandpa, I’m so scared. What if this ruined everything? What if he doesn’t even want to be friends anymore, let alone more than friends? I’ve been in love with him for years, but not having his friendship at all? That’s the worst thing I can imagine…” My mind filled with the possibilities all over again.

“Kasey,” Grandpa began, leaning over to gently pat me on the knee. “Love is powerful. You have to try awful hard to do something that’s bad enough to break it. It doesn’t matter if it’s romantic love or any other kind of love, it’s strong.

“If you really love him and he really loves you, which he does, then all you need to do is your part to mend what was hurt, and it will all be alright. The heart knows when it’s with a true friend, Kasey. And Dean’s heart will know it as well.”

I sniffed and wiped at a few tears that had slid down my cheeks as he spoke. Whether Dean felt romantically toward me or not, we loved each other. And Grandpa’s words rung true, calming my heart and filling me with hope. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to the conversation I needed to have with Dean, but anything would be worth making things right between us.

“Well,” Grandpa said, breaking me from my thoughts. “What are you waiting for? There’s no time like the present!”

As much as my heart ached to go to Dean immediately, I couldn’t abandon him just like that. “I can’t leave now, Grandpa. I need to be here for you.”

He leaned more comfortably back onto his pillows. “You have a lot more life to live, dear. I lived mine. A good life. And I don’t want to spend the rest of it seeing you sad and heartsick. Go make up with Dean and then come right on back. It’ll be okay.”

“Don’t worry, Kase,” Kendra said from the doorway, making me jump. “Dad and I will stay with him. You go and get Dean back.”

I looked around at my family all gathered in the room, each one nodding and smiling encouragingly. So I stood and grabbed my purse before kissing Grandpa on the cheek and running out of the room and down the hallway.