The Serial Killers Guide to Love (Deadly Darling #1)

Chapter 14

14

Lilly

I sat in my car and chewed on cuticles.

Stop that.

I told myself before I could turn my cuticles into bleeding, raw, painful wounds. I used to do that before Mike, but he made it clear to me that if I don’t look perfect there would be consequences that I don’t want to face.

Like the beatings.

Or him locking me in the basement after.

A cold shiver that was not at all connected to the AC ran down my spine and made me pull my arms closer to me.

It was 12:45 and I arrived too early at the Cafe where Derek invited me to lunch.

He was nice enough and fun to talk to and very handsome. Was it okay of me to use him like a smoker uses a nicotine patch to quench my desire for Sam? Fuck no, but I had to accept that my drop dead gorgeous next door neighbor was not interested and me turning into a stalker was not the way to go.

A date.

A date is what normal people do.

He is 36. I am 32, that’s fine. He is divorced and has no children. We talked a bit about this and that and I could geek out with him about The Simpsons and the X Men and some more. Derek appeared to have a nice sense of humor.

We decided to meet without a phone call first, even though he gave me his number and all his social media.

I looked at my phone.

It’s 12:53.

Maybe he stood me up.

Sam is very punctual, but I am not here on a date with Sam. I am here for Derek.

I want to know him.

At 12:56, a message blinks.

“Hi Lilly, I arrived and grabbed us a table. Call me if you don’t see me. Can’t wait to meet you!”

Fuck.

I can’t stand him up. This would be rude. I need to get over my cold feet and just jump into this date.

Good.

You can do it.

I looked at myself in the mirror and checked my makeup before applying a touch of lipstick.

Taking another deep breath, I made my way into the Café.

Derek sat there at a side table that overlooked the bay and waited for me.

“Hi.”

I whispered as I approached him from the back. The man looked even better in real life than he did in his pictures. He was tall, dark, and handsome and had a smile that could melt the glaciers, but I kept thinking about Sam.

I bit the inside of my cheek and he offered me his hand and stood up to pull my chair for me.

“Hi Lilly, I hope you don’t mind, my grandpa insisted that I act like a gentleman.”

“This is rare, I appreciate it, thanks.”

My ass was so happy to crash on the chair and take the pressure off my wobbly legs.

The waiter appeared with a bottle of sparkling water.

“I wasn’t sure what you drink, I hope you don’t mind.”

He said with a soft smile.

I have to give him a real chance. It’s not his fault that I am stuck on Sam.

“I am glad you made the time to meet. It’s so much nicer to meet people in real life, instead of just texting on the app. Text is flat, it has no emotion mostly, but your texts made me laugh out loud a few times, Lilly.”

“I still think that Wolverine did Cyclops dirty, but hey, you have a right to being wrong!”

Derek laughed.

“A beautiful woman with a sense of humor.”

His hand landed on mine. His fingers wrapped around my hand and I pulled my hand away. Panic filled my chest and I was about to jump to my feet and run away.

Still, my body was frozen on the spot.

Derek looked me in the eye.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

He said, as he pulled his hand away.

“No, it’s not that. This is my first date in a very long time. I am rusty.”

I tried to laugh it off, but that didn’t work. I felt encased in a block of ice, my lungs too weak to expand and push oxygen to my brain.

My vision started to get blurry.

“Inhale, exhale. Sometimes it helps when you press you nails in your palm. It keeps me grounded.”

I did as he asked and was about to die of embarrassment for having a panic attack during a date.

“It will be fine.”

A Coca-Cola showed up in front of me.

“Drink. Do you have any medical issues?”

I nodded. I didn’t. Not any I knew of at least.

“Drink. The caffeine and the sugar help. Is there someone you want me to call?”

“No. It’s fine. Thank you.”

Would it be a red flag to tell the handsome man that there was no one that he could have called? I had Anna as my emergency contact. It was fucking ridiculous.

Derek sat next to me, watching me inhale and exhale, and drink my coke.

When the lunch arrived, I was already feeling better . The wild noise that the rush of blood created in my ears was gone and I could focus on my Caesar salad enough to pick at it.

“If you are in a hurry and want to go, I understand.”

I told him as I was working my way slowly through my lunch.

“No.”

“I was giving you an out from a bad date.”

Derek smiled.

“This date isn’t bad at all.”

“So it’s just a normal Wednesday for you?”

“No. This is real. I have been on many dates that fell wrong. Lilly, I will be very straight forward with you. I don’t like dating. I don’t like meeting temporary people. I loved being married and I want that feeling of familiarity and love. Fuck it, aren’t we all looking for love?”

He stopped and I probably sported the deer in the headlight look all over my face.

“Damn, sorry. Now you probably need an out from this.”

“No. I like that you are honest.’

“Good, because I like you and I want to know you.”

We spent about another hour talking about this and that. Derek told me about his hobbies, he started them all after selling his business and now he was obsessed with making fresh pasta. Our next date was a dinner at his place.

I hated myself for comparing him with Sam, but a part of me nudged me to give him a chance.

At the end of the lunch, Derek walked me to my car and asked me at least twice if I would rather have him call an Uber for me. But I was fine. He was strong and warm and calm and maybe he will be good for me.

We decided to meet on Friday evening at his place.

I drove home with a smile on my face.