The Serial Killers Guide to Love (Deadly Darling #1)

Chapter 16

16

Lilly .

The sun woke me. I forgot to close the curtain to the bedroom windows last night when I crashed.

Oh god.

I called out as my head started to hammer, only matching the mad pressure inside my belly.

I had all the wine. As the empty bottle on the ground showed me.

And I. Oh no.

I kissed Sam.

Touching my lips with my fingers, I felt butterflies explode for a second, before rain clouds covered my mind.

And he had a panic attack.

Because of it.

Great, just awesome.

Why must I like guys that are too broken to function?

Why can’t I just like a sweet, normal guy, like Derek?

Shame filled me, but then I recalled the emails.

Clicking on my phone, I refreshed an already embarrassing memory.

The man had said no, and I acted like a drunk frat boy.

What was wrong with me?

Derek probably wants to sleep with me. If I am so horny, I can always leave the house, go into a bar and get some from some random guy, but nooo, I want Sam.

Walking towards the shower, I felt like a piece of crap.

This was it.

This was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.

In front of the mirror, I called to myself.

“Have a bit of dignity, woman, he does not want you. Stop trying. He doesn’t want to touch you.”

But that kiss.

No.

My phone chirped and a tiny part of my still hungover brain hoped it was Sam, but it was a text from Derek.

“It was lovely meeting you, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow evening. Do you have a favorite pasta sauce?”

He asked and attached a pasta emoji to his text.

“See.”

I called to the woman with the unkempt hair in the mirror..

“This guy here, the one that sat through my panic attack, the one that ordered me coke and wants to make me pasta, I should want him. He is good for me. Not the man that is hot and cold and that falls off the face of the Earth because I want to hug him.”

The face I made wasn’t funny.

“Shower, makeup, you look as if you slept with the worms.”

A shower has a way to help me clear my head.

As soon as I had a good herbal blend in my system, my stomach stopped growling. Coffee is not the solution for nausea. The feeling of hungover comes from dehydration, if one drinks even more caffeine, it will just be a temporary relief.

With my second cup of tea, I made my way to my laptop and checked the orders for today.

I had a few deliveries to make, but nothing too major and I could use the drive.

A day in my van, without AC, sounded better than being a sitting duck in my own house where Sam could come over, ring the bell and talk to me.

No.

I am done.

He has issues. I offered to try and he refused. I can’t force him, I am not his mother and beyond flirting, there was nothing between us.

But there was a sweet hope and desire of things that could have been.

We could have been great, I could feel it.

Taking another sip of the tea I pushed that last crazy idea away from my head.

No.

He doesn’t want to, and I won’t insist.

It’s better to step away and not act like some crazy lady that is hot in the pants.

For the rest of the day, I did my best to stay hydrated, played Eminem as loud as my old speakers allowed it and forget.

And it worked, as long as I sang loud with the music.

I will exorcise myself from Sam, even if it would be the last thing I will do.