The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 14

Noah

With my gaze fixed on the ground, I stroll along the street. The city mouse is still on my mind. Something about her is off. Once I had gathered her scattered groceries, she simply ran off.

The memory of what she had in her basket makes me snort. Unhealthy stuff. Processed goods. But that's just her style. She probably can't even cook pasta and believes milk comes from a carton.

Typical city person.

I should stop thinking about her, but it's hard for me. After all, I'm on my way to Hanna's. The risk of running into Elina there again is high.

For now, I'm still safe, so I hurry. I step through the entrance gate and walk directly around the outside to the garden. But Hanna isn't there, so I take the back entrance into the house. Passing by the office, I wave to Florian through the office door, who seems to be drowning in paperwork.

With hair standing on end, he gives me a weary look. "Hey, Noah. Will I see you tonight?"

I shake my head and keep walking before he can inquire further. The loud clattering of pots and the sound of the extractor hood are thankfully clear indications of where I'll find my sister.

I hide the box of chocolates behind my back and enter the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked bread instantly makes my stomach growl.

With her tousled hair tied up in a messy bun, Hanna juggles three pots and five baking pans at once. This woman is a phenomenon. There's nothing she can't handle. I don't like that she appears downcast today despite her energetic movements.

"Hello, birthday girl." Thanks to my words, her mouth curls upward. She drops the whisk and walks toward me. I catch her and hug her as tightly as I can. Surprisingly, it feels good. "Happy birthday, Sis."

"Thank you, Noah," she mumbles into my shirt. It seems like she has no intention of ever letting me go again.

When she finally does, she has tears in her eyes. "We haven't done this in far too long." She falters. "The last time was when..."

Quickly, I raise my hand because today is definitely not the right day to evoke memories better left in the darkness. Then I hand her the chocolates. "For you."

She tilts her head. "You know you're not supposed to get me anything."

Typical Hanna. She's there for everyone else, but even a small gesture is too much for her. Even a ridiculously tiny box of her favorite chocolates. "Open them," I say, disregarding her objection.

Carefully, she lifts the lid of the box and discovers the card I had slipped in earlier. "Dinner invitation," she reads aloud. With each word, her voice becomes shakier, and I also notice how unexpectedly emotional I've become.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

"At the observatory? Like we used to?" She lifts her eyelids, a watery gleam in her eyes. "That would mean a lot to me."

Definitely not. The observatory is off-limits.

I have to clear my throat to even speak. "The table isn't ready yet, so dinner will be at my place," I manage to say, and now I'm certain it was a bad idea. I'm not ready. I can't handle a whole evening with Hanna.

"Do you know what would also mean a lot to me?" She bites her lip. "If you celebrate with us tonight."

"I can't." The words leave my mouth faster than I can even consider her question. But they're true. I plead with her, looking into her eyes. "The looks. The whispers. It's too much."

She embraces me once more. "You are stronger than the ghosts of the past. Don't forget that."

"I know." How else would I manage to keep my thoughts from drifting to Julian even for a second? I don't think about him, I don't talk about him, and I don't want to hear anything about him. But when I see how the villagers gaze at me, when I overhear their gossip or when they try to coax something out of me in confidence only to blab about it later at the inn, I can't do it.

"Being alone isn't good for you," Hanna whispers in my ear.

No. It isn't. But what choice do I have? The time when I was a carefree part of the village community, laughing and singing with them, sharing my thoughts with them—that time is over. Bringing it back is impossible. "Should I help you with the preparations?"

She pulls away from me and looks at me. For seconds, she gazes into my eyes, and I can see her mind working. She's probably considering whether or not to drop the subject. "The beer tables still need to be set up, and the heaters need to be connected," she finally says with a forced smile. "Florian still has things to do."

Her boyfriend can't even tear himself away from his desk on her birthday. Is that why she was sad earlier? Whatever's going on, it's none of my business. And I'm the last person who should judge what others do. "I'm on my way."

I march out into the garden and get to work immediately. With a little luck, the fresh air and movement might even do me good. But with each passing minute, my muscles feel heavier. And that's despite the fact that yesterday I thought I was doing better.

One by one, I set up the benches and align them on the uneven stone slabs of the terrace so they don't wobble. A movement at the edge of the forest catches my attention. I look up and just catch a glimpse of Elina running along the gravel path at lightning speed. Something falls out of her shopping bag, but she simply leaves it there.

Whatever she's running from, I won't stop her. In the end, she'll look at me again with that intense gaze that warms me from the inside like a cozy fireplace. Or she'll put on that smile that can make the whole sky light up.

Stop. What am I thinking?

The city girl is superficial and snobbish, into fancy clothes, and thinks she's better than everyone else.

That's the truth and the only truth.