The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 33

Elina

Motionless, my head rests against his chest. But inside me, thoughts are racing. They're searching for an answer. For a pattern I couldn't see before.

It's there. I know it for sure.

The fact that Noah clearly doesn't want to help me decipher this puzzle only makes it harder. What I heard last night doesn't fit together. Just a minor injury leading to a fatality? A small fall, no blood, yet loss of consciousness?

Something is wrong here. I need to learn more.

About Julian and what happened to him.

Because one thing is clear: that's where the key to Noah's chronic exhaustion lies. He probably has these terrible nightmares almost every night. His soul is trying to process his trauma, but he has repressed it so strongly that even his nightly thoughts don't penetrate his consciousness.

"Elina?" He gently strokes my back. "That's how it is, isn't it? We're happy."

Looking out at the wooded mountain landscape, I nod. "We are," I reply even though I know I should hold my heart better. "But your health is suffering permanently if you—"

He cuts me off with a strained sigh. "It will resolve itself. You're reading too much into it. "

Certainly not. But despite my conviction, I dare not tell him that. Because there's something in his tone. Something final. Something that makes it clear to me that he won't entertain any further questions. And if I do, he won't let me in anymore.

That must not happen.

I lift my head and smile at him. "What do you want to do today?" I ask, trying to sound as carefree as possible.

Finally, his facial muscles relax, and his loving gaze returns. The gaze I'm so addicted to that I never want to go without it again even though this man could be my downfall.

He lowers his head to kiss me. "Unfortunately, I have the afternoon shift," he says through gritted teeth as he pulls away minutes later.

At least that gives me time to sort out my thoughts. To figure out how I can help him without pressuring him too much and causing him to close off completely like he just did.

"Then let's stay here a little longer," I say as I snuggle up to him and close my eyes, wanting to savor the comfort his presence gives me. "It's so wonderfully peaceful."

We enjoy the morning together on the small veranda of the observatory, tilting our faces toward the sun and breathing in the forest air. This place has something magical about it that quiets my soul, even though I usually thrive on the hustle and bustle.

Suddenly, it occurs to me that I haven't missed Vienna as strongly lately. This, the nature, the tranquility, and the authentic way of life ground me in a very special way .

Perhaps I could stay. Forever.

No, that's not possible. Regardless of whether I'm mistaken about Noah or not, I have to leave for the specialized training program.

"We should start making our way," Noah says wistfully out of nowhere.

"Now?" We've only just woken up; it can't be that late. Confused, I take out my phone from my jacket pocket.

Indeed, it's almost noon. But that's not the only thing I see on the display.

There's something else. An email from Graz State Hospital. My goodness.

"Oh yes, time ticks differently out here." Noah laughs amused, but to me, it sounds like he's far away.

It could be another invitation for an interview. Another chance. I should be happy, but something inside me resists.

For the first time in my life, I'm no longer certain if my dream was born in my own heart or rather in the hearts of my parents. And if it's truly right to fight for their attention and love in this way, something I've longed for so much.

Suddenly, I feel Noah pressing closer to me. "What's wrong? You look pale."

Without hesitation, I turn off the display. "Everything's fine." I try to smile casually, then stand up from the chair. "We still need to tidy up."

Noah's laughter has a mischievous quality to it. "Oh yes, after a night like this..."

There it is again. That look I can't resist. I step closer to his chair and straddle his thighs. "Maybe we should make a little more chaos," I whisper, looking into his eyes. With my hands buried in his hair, I touch my nose to his.

A throaty rumble escapes his mouth, and seconds later, our kisses turn into a blissful sigh.

"I'm afraid..." he starts between two kisses, "we don't have..." He tries to push me away. So gently that he doesn't come close to succeeding. "Enough time."

Reluctantly, I vacate my spot on his thighs. "Then let's do it," I say, grinning.

Amused by my double entendre, he shakes his head. Then he reaches for my hand and pulls me into the interior of the observatory. "I'll take care of the kitchen; you handle the sleeping area."

"If I absolutely have to," I grumble, stealing one last kiss before I get to work.

Tonight, we've made a mess of the room. Pillows are scattered in various places, and books have been swept off the desk. One by one, I collect Julian's thick tomes. To prevent them from gathering even more dust, I'll store them in one of the desk's cabinets. Noah probably won't mind.

I reach for the stack of books and open the cabinet door. But before I can slide them in, I spot medication packages.

My gaze flickers to Noah for a moment. He's thoroughly rinsing our coffee cups, completely focused. He won't notice what I'm doing here, so I quickly grab the packages and study the active ingredients.

The first medication is a gastric protective agent. Next to it is a potent painkiller typically prescribed for herniated discs.

Didn't Noah mention something about this by the campfire? I rummage through my memory and indeed come across the information.

Because Julian spent nights hunched over the telescope, he had back pain. I look over at the two devices thoughtfully. Both have adjustable stands; Julian could have adjusted them to his height.

He must have known that; he was a professional. Why did he take medication instead of setting up an ergonomic workspace?

I would love to ask Noah about it directly, but I'm sure he will immediately shut me down if I even mention his best friend's name.

Excitedly, I take the next package into my hands. They are tablets for stomach cramps. Only one out of five hundred remains, with the expiration date far in the future. Although I can't know for sure, I have a pressing feeling that he might have been taking these pills like candy.

So he had frequent stomach pain. Maybe due to a food intolerance? But wouldn't he have been more careful with his diet instead of relying on pills to get by?

I turn the package around. It bears the sticker from Helene's home pharmacy. She must have prescribed the medication as well. So there must be a medical record. Documents that can help me learn more about Noah's friend. Information that can finally provide answers instead of more questions.

"How far along are you?" Noah's voice is suddenly very close.

Swiftly, I push the books onto the shelf of the cabinet and close the door.

"If you help me with the sofa, we can leave in ten minutes," I say, trying to suppress the excitement in my voice as much as possible. I must not let anything show. Only when I have organized my thoughts will I bring up the matter with Noah again.

For his sake. And also a bit for both of us.