The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 35

Elina

Clutching the phone between my shoulder and ear, I open the wardrobe. It's been over two weeks since Maya went on vacation, and we haven't had a chance to chat.

"Have you heard anything from Herzogen Clinic?" my best friend asks on the other end of the line after sharing detailed stories about the idyllic beaches of Sicily.

I haven't. And I'm actually glad about it. As long as they don't hire me, I don't have to question whether Noah loves me enough to leave his hometown for me. Nor do I have to wonder if even the perfect job would ever earn me the recognition and love from my parents that I crave so much.

"No. But I did receive a rejection from the Graz Regional Hospital," I say, pulling out a stack of pleated trousers from the wardrobe and making my way toward the bed.

Maya sighs in disappointment. "My father always said that nothing happens without a reason. But I say it's just crap."

"Totally," I confirm, trying to sound just as frustrated as she is. I don't know why I'm lying to her. Perhaps because I don't even know what I really want anymore. Ever since my night with Noah at the observatory, I can't stop wondering what would happen if I told my mother that I probably can't save Aaron. And how would she react if I asked her to love me anyway?

"And what about Noah?" Maya asks, as I absentmindedly pack my trousers into a travel bag. I might as well throw them away since I haven't worn them in weeks.

I should tell her now that I'm about to pack my things and move in with him in Tyrol, at least until the end of my training. And this is despite the fact that I still don't know if I can trust him. But my gut feeling tells me it's better not to tell Maya anything. "I'm still trying to find out the cause of his persistent exhaustion," I say, so she doesn't get suspicious.

"Mm-hmm." A crunching sound of chewing comes through the phone. "How far have you gotten?"

"You know I can't discuss that," I say, shaking my head, and turn back to the wardrobe. My gaze falls on the stylish pantsuits hanging dusty on their hangers.

"Doctor-patient confidentiality, I get it," she says, sounding disappointed. "Do you at least have any updates on his son that you mentioned last time?"

"Julian wasn't his son." I switch the phone to my other ear to relieve my stiff neck. "He was his best friend."

In the background, I hear fabric rubbing against each other. Maya must be getting comfortable on the sofa. "Tell me more."

Maybe I should indeed do that. Julian isn't my patient, so I can share what I've discovered with Maya. And maybe it will even help me finally decipher his puzzle .

"None of what I know about him so far adds up," I admit in frustration. Then I collapse onto the bed, still holding the pantsuit.

"What do you mean?" Maya asks impatiently. "What about him?"

Looking out the window of the cabin at the pine trees, I gather my thoughts. "I now know that he died while hiking. But the circumstances of the accident are mysterious. Supposedly, he barely bled, had only minor injuries, and slid only a few yards. Yet he was immediately unconscious," I say absentmindedly. "All of that would typically indicate internal bleeding, but..."

"Not if he only had a minor fall, right?" Maya finishes my sentence.

"That's rather unlikely," I say, falling back onto the bed and staring intently at the wooden-paneled ceiling. "I also found out that he had problems with his back and stomach."

"What was the cause?" My best friend sounds just as confused as I am.

"That's the strange part. I still haven't figured it out. He was definitely under treatment with Helene, yet there's no medical record for him." I'm sure I would have found all the missing information there. I've searched the entire practice, but his file was nowhere to be found.

Maya lets out a surprised squeak. I can almost envision her raising her dark eyebrows.

"The answer is hidden among everything I already know. I'm certain of it," I say, tensely. Not being able to see her is driving me crazy.

"I don't know either..." She interrupts herself with a strained breath. "Could the medications have had side effects?"

"No," I reply absentmindedly. "Painkillers can potentially cause stomach bleeding in extreme cases, but I also found tablets that protect the stomach lining."

Maya lets out a discouraged snort.

But I barely hear it because a thought creeps up in me, one that wasn't there before. "What if Julian had internal bleeding that wasn't caused by the accident or the painkillers?" I ask myself more than my friend.

"What would that mean?" she asks excitedly.

I place my hand on the bridge of my nose and close my eyes to think more clearly. "That he was sick. He had a problem that could lead to severe internal bleeding within seconds." Heat spreads through me. "By rupturing, for example."

Yes. That could be possible.

I can sense that I'm onto something big here. Something significant.

With a single movement, I sit up in bed. "An aneurysm," I exclaim as if I've just made the greatest discovery of the century. "That would explain the pain in his back and stomach. The aortic enlargement was pressing on his nerves."

Maya says something, or at least I think she does. But I can't hear her.

This theory changes everything.

"It could have been congenital. Over the years, it grew, causing more and more secondary symptoms." I nod vigorously even though my best friend can't see me. "And then, during the hike, the aneurysm ruptured... his abdominal cavity filled with blood in a matter of seconds..."

My God. It fits!

"No one could have saved him," I add in a hushed tone as I already understand what that means.

The guilt Noah carries is not real. He is not responsible for Julian's death!

"That sounds logical," Maya says from a distance. "And now what?"

"I have to end it," I reply quickly because two things have become so clear that there are no more doubts.

First, no matter how many times I've been deceived by men before, Noah is not one of them. Being with him feels right. And second, once I manage to lift the burden that is destroying his health, we could both be happy until the end of our days.

"I'll be in touch. Bye," I say, ending the call with Maya.

Then I rush into the living room, open my laptop, and launch the internet browser. My attempts to get Noah to open up about the events have consistently failed. Clearly, I need an expert to step in. I mentally go through my former classmates. They're probably still too inexperienced. I need someone I can trust, someone with more years of practice. Preferably in Munich, since we'll be there soon anyway.

My cheeks start to blush as I lose myself in the search.

Who can help Noah remember so he can see Julian's death as it truly happened?

As something he could never have prevented.