The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 46

Noah

With a push of my foot, I swing open the entrance door and carry Elina inside the house. For months, I've avoided this doctor's office. Not just because of Helene's accusatory glances but also because I always saw Julian's face in hers.

But today, neither of those things can affect me. Not after Elina and I have talked the entire way here. We've told each other everything, and nothing stands between us. Not even the question of where we could live.

"I can treat my ankle myself," protests the drenched Elina not for the first time since I carried her out of the gorge. At least she allowed me to provide initial care for her head wound.

With an amused shake of my head, I approach the reception desk.

Clara looks up from her paperwork. "Oh. My. God."

Immediately, Elina squirms in my arms. "Let me down. I can manage from here." Reluctantly, I set her down on the floor, and I immediately miss her closeness. "But I'll put the bandage on you." My objection doesn't reach her. Balancing on her uninjured foot, she leans on the counter. "I need diclofenac ointment, a compression bandage, and a splint," she says to Clara, who quickly jumps up from her chair .

"And a pair of crutches. Coming right up." With a single frantic motion, Clara turns around. Her braids swing down to her cheeks.

Not even a minute later, she returns with the crutches. Leaning on the walking aid, Elina limps down the corridor toward the treatment rooms. For a moment, I watch her, shaking my head.

She's such a fighter.

My fighter.

Suddenly, someone gently nudges me from the side. "Have fun with the stubborn one." Clara hands me bandages, ointment, and towels with a grin.

I follow Elina and easily catch up to her before she reaches the treatment room.

Gallantly, I open the door for her. "Please, madame, take a seat on the examination table. I will attend to you immediately."

"Absolutely not." A wonderfully mischievous smile plays on her lips as she hobbles past me into the room. Then she abruptly stops in her movement.

"Helene," she says, startled. "I didn't mean to... I'm sorry..."

I whirl around and spot the mother of my best friend sitting at the desk in front of the bookshelf wall. "Hello, Helene."

She nods at me. "Noah." Did she just lift the corners of her mouth? Even if only for a fraction of a second?

I scrutinize her for a moment, but her face remains closed off. "Elina needs help," I say quickly because that's what matters most now.

"No, no," she protests immediately. "For the last time. I can bandage it myself. It's just a sprained ankle." If she weren't leaning on the crutches, she would probably be waving her hands in the air in exasperation. "And right after that, we'll be gone again. I promise," she adds, addressing Helene.

That's strange. Elina and Helene always got along well. Or did they not? Are the women so tense because I'm here?

Probably.

After all, Helene was one of those who vehemently advocated the theory that I was to blame for Julian's death.

She hates me.

Nevertheless, I have to tell her. She needs to know what actually happened so that her resentment can disappear, and she can also let go of the past.

While Elina starts treating herself, I boldly approach Helene. "Can we talk?" I ask her firmly.

Instantly, her eyes well up with tears. Her fingers entwine with each other, and she seems unable to sit still in her chair. "I have to—"

"My memory has returned." I interrupt her. "Everything just came back."

She raises her eyebrows. Her mouth moves, but not a single word comes out. For a moment, the only sound is Elina's busy activity.

"I believe Julian was already sick before the accident. Something was wrong with his stomach. He was in pain. Very often," I say in a gentle voice because this is surely not easy for her. "You remember that, don't you? You even prescribed him stomach pills."

Out of nowhere, she bursts into tears. She jumps up from her chair, covers her face with her hands, and walks to the window. In the light of the sporadic sunrays, I see her entire body shaking .

Awkwardly, I step beside her. I had expected many things, but not this. Since I can't think of anything better, I pull her into my arms and gently stroke her back to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry," she suddenly bursts out. "It's all my fault."

What does she mean by that? Why does she suddenly feel responsible for her son's death?

I look around for Elina, who watches us with the splint in her hand. She responds to my questioning gaze with a sad nod.

I can't believe it. "No one is to blame for his death," I say with conviction.

Elina approaches, leaning on the crutches. She lovingly strokes Helene's upper arm. "Even the best doctor in the world would never have suspected an aortic aneurysm with Julian's symptoms."

So it was an aortic aneurysm. It must have ruptured during his accident. No wonder his vital signs were so poor, and he immediately lost consciousness.

With her face buried in my shoulder, Helene shakes her head. "I should have recognized it."

Even though I don't know much, one thing is certain: She's wrong. "Julian always downplayed his complaints. He never let us see how sick he actually felt."

That's just how he was. Even my best friend wasn't perfect. Like every other person, he had his flaws.

"If he didn't want to eat, he always claimed he had just stuffed himself at your place," Helene says, detaching herself from my embrace and thoughtfully touching her forehead. "And once, I caught him dragging himself up the stairs with a pained expression on his face. He said a long hike would strain his legs too much."

Julian always had an excuse ready, that's true. As Helene talks about it, several situations come to mind when I should have been suspicious myself.

In the next few minutes, we collectively gather more memories. We smile, we laugh, and we cry at the experiences that come to mind. It feels good to let it all out, and for the first time ever, I feel inner peace when I think of Julian.

"You see, you didn't stand a chance," Elina says soothingly to Helene half an hour later, then she gazes at me intently. "And neither did you."

I know that. After months of being weighed down and tormented by guilt, I finally feel free.

It's all thanks to Elina that I am myself again.

I turn to the woman who means the world to me and kiss her so tenderly that we both lose our breath. When I pull away, her cheeks are rosy. I can't help but kiss her once again exactly where her skin glows because of my presence.

With all the love in my heart that I can feel again because of this woman, I turn to Helene once more.

"Let's start anew." I reach out my hand. "Hello, I'm Noah."

With a wistful smile and a sniffing nose, she places her hand in mine. "Helene. I'm pleased to meet you."