The Wolf’s Pregnant Rejected Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #2)

Chapter 7 - Tess

Some men were like that.

They liked to shout and scream. They liked seeing their women cry or cower. From everything she heard, Monroe was like that. It made her sick to her stomach to think Ryder was one of them. He’d always seemed to be such a kind, considerate person when they were growing up. But he must have seen a lot in the special ops. That sort of thing could change a man.

“Well?” she demanded. It was bad enough that she had asked the question, but if Ryder didn’t answer? Then he’d know what she feared, and she wouldn’t have an answer.

Ryder cleared his throat and looked away, his cheeks turning red.

Wait, was he embarrassed? Tess’s clenched fists relaxed.

“No,” he said, his voice rough. “I’m not turned on by fighting. At least, not that sort of fighting. It’s not the shouting that gets me. It was… how you fought against the demons.”

Her mouth opened with a small popping noise. It sounded way too loud in the silence of the cabin.

Ryder ran a hand through his dark hair. “It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. Something about a woman who can hold her own in a battle sets me on fire. And you were amazing. You went for it without abandon. With proper training, I bet you’d be a real force to be reckoned with.”

Nobody had ever said she was good at fighting. Should she be insulted? Ryder said it as though he admired her, but she’d always taught that a she-wolf must be meek. Submissive. She must be small and allow her man to dominate the relationship and their lives together. No man wanted a bossy woman—just look at Echo. Her fierceness was what kept her from finding a mate.

That’s what she was taught . But here Ryder was, telling her that it was her fighting, not her submission, that turned him on.

“To be clear, I’m not into hurting each other,” Ryder said, lifting his dark blue eyes back to hers. “Playful fighting. Love nips. A few bruises at most.”

“I… okay,” Tess said. Her cheeks went hot as she looked away again. What was she supposed to say to that?

The silence followed was like a swarm of bugs crawling on her skin. Her muscles ached with the need to be used. She paced from one end of the cabin to the other, but the energy kept building. She felt as though she was going to explode if she couldn’t find a way to dispel some of it.

“Are they still out there?” she asked finally.

Ryder, who had been by the window all this time, peeked through the shutters. “Yes.”

How long until someone came to rescue them? Tess’s stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since midday yesterday. Great. Another thing to think about.

To distract herself, she asked, “How did your team find out that the demons were being active here in Bluebell Valley? Don’t you have to go wherever the military sends you?”

Ryder shook his head. “We are a military division, yes. But as trained demon fighters, we are allowed to go wherever we feel we need to be. Since Bluebell Valley is a hotbed of demon activity, we’ll stay here. With Hayden as Alpha, I’m sure we’ll keep it as a home base even after we’ve finally cleared out the area.”

Tess leaned on the wall, resting her head against the rough planks.

“The special ops were developed a hundred years ago, after the mass suicide at the Hunter compound. Demons were responsible for it,” he added, glancing at her. “We’re hand-picked out of the regular military ranks for our skills and given special training. As for how we knew Bluebell Valley was a hotbed…” His brow furrowed. “The higher-ups have ways of finding that out. They keep a secret; the less the teams know, the less the demons can find out from them.”

Tess nodded her understanding. “And why are these ones targeting me?”

Ryder’s eyebrows furrowed. He looked so fierce that it made her heart beat faster. But it wasn’t anger, though at first glance Tess thought it was. No, he was simply deep in thought.

“I wish I knew that,” he said slowly. “It would help me protect you better.”

Her heart fluttered this time. “You… really do want to protect me, don’t you?”

Ryder lifted one eyebrow. “Of course. I’m not letting anything happen to my little sister’s best friend.”

Right. Tess folded her arms tighter across her chest.

“It’s just surprising. They’d do more damage if they possessed me,” Ryder said, his tone flippant.

A cold ball of dread slipped down Tess’s throat to weigh heavily in her stomach. “What do you mean?”

“I’m the Beta. I have more knowledge of the special ops team.”

“But… you can be possessed?” Tess pressed.

Ryder frowned at her. “Yes. I have the talisman implanted to protect me, but if they were to cut it out, I’d be as vulnerable as anyone else. It’s also a fairly new discovery, so we aren’t sure of the extent of its protection.”

Goosebumps rose along Tess’s arms. Echo had been possessed for some time last year. She still refused to talk about what it had been like for her, trapped in her own body. Tess had thought that was a terrifying enough thought, but some part of her was reassured that at least Ryder would be able to get back to town. He couldn’t be possessed.

Apparently, she’d been wrong.

“So, you weren’t chosen because you’re immune to possession or something?” she exclaimed.

Ryder shook his head. “No. A demon can possess anyone except other demons. How did you think Zealuv possessed Hayden last year if we were immune?”

Tess’s head swam. She felt faint, as though her life had just been turned upside down. “I thought it was a special case. That Zealuv could only do that because he was an archdemon. That you were all protected against the aura-demons.”

“No. But we’ve got the talismans now, and we’re working on ways to improve it,” he said, then, his eyebrows knit together, he added, “And we’ll be implementing more ways for the pack to protect themselves, too. The talismans are only good against the aura demons; they don’t stop beast demons from attacking you or—”

Tess held up a hand. “That’s enough information right now. I need to process what you’ve already told me.”

She wandered away from him, shaking her head slowly. Knowing this made the situation feel even more dangerous. The wooden floor was rough beneath her feet as she paced back and forth. It was all catching up to her. Even the memories of how she’d grabbed that possessed wolf by the throat made her feel sick. What if she’d killed him when it was still possible to exorcize the demon?

“I’m not built for this,” she finally groaned. “None of it. We’re not even supposed to know about the demons, are we?”

“People generally don’t believe in them. It’s not a matter of not being allowed to know,” Ryder said.

“You’ve lost people, though. It hasn’t always been just the eight of you in the team.” It wasn’t a question.

Ryder’s dark blue eyes darkened further with whatever memories lingered. “Yes. We’ve lost people to possession. But thanks to you and Mica’s efforts with those ancient texts, we’ve found the talisman. We’ve found more ways to fight against the demons.”

“But you don’t know how effective it is.”

“So?” Ryder shrugged. “What’s important is that it works now. In the last year, the demons have tried to get Blayke and Maverick. They used the Demon Seed against us. And it’s all been rebuffed, thanks to these talismans.”

He lifted his shirt, showing her a strip of skin just above his hip. A faint scar ran down the center of a slightly raised area. If he hadn’t pointed it out, Tess wouldn’t have noticed it. She studied the spot in the dim light. It was a slight circular area, no bigger than the nail of her little finger. When she reached out to touch the spot, Ryder drew back.

“I remember finding the part of the book that talked about the talismans,” Tess murmured. “I didn’t know that you had started using them. I thought it was going to be for the pack, not the team.”

Ryder lowered his shirt again. He looked out the window and let out a soft breath. “They’re gone.”

Tess closed her eyes and thanked the Moon Goddess. “So, we need to leave before they come back, right?”

“No. We stay until someone comes for us.”

“But if they’re gone—”

Ryder gave her a look that made her argument die in her throat.

Right. Just because they weren’t in sight didn’t mean they weren’t watching. It was easily a trap; the demons could be waiting just out of sight. If she and Ryder tried to leave, they could easily be overwhelmed, so it was just more waiting.

A surge of defiance swept through her, catching her off guard. It wasn’t right! Why did this have to happen? Why should she feel so helpless, so trapped? The world was so huge, and yet she’d stayed in this tiny pack in this tiny part of the world. She’d had small dreams, and even those dreams were too big for her to grasp.

As she gazed at Ryder, a thought occurred to her. There was one dream that she could potentially see through.

Here in this tiny cabin, there was something she could ask for.

Her lungs tightened, but a sense of calm washed through her. She toyed with the knot that held the blanket in place. “I’m sick of trying to be proper.”

Ryder turned to her. “What?”

“I want what I want, and I’m going to have it. At least, I’m going to ask for it,” she said, tripping over her own thoughts.

“I don’t understand.”

Tess strode forward, stopping just shy of him. “I want to fight to protect the pack. I’m tired of trying to be the proper she-wolf. I’m tired of feeling like I’ll always fall short of expectations. I’m so, so sick of feeling like I’m worthless. Maybe I’m not a proper she-wolf. But I can’t sit helpless on the sidelines anymore. I need to do more.”

Ryder stared at her, baffled. It was the most emotion she’d seen in him for a long, long time.

And here it came. The most damning part of her confession. Tess lifted her chin, not letting herself be ashamed. “And I want to have sex. I want that experience. So…” Her courage fled. What if he laughed in her face? He’d rejected her once; what was to stop him from—

Ryder’s arms were around her before she knew what was happening. He pulled her against his hard body and pressed his mouth to hers. He teased her lips open. Tess’s wolf howled as heat flared through her body. She tangled her hands into his hair as she kissed him back.