The Wolf’s Pregnant Rejected Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #2)

Chapter 8 - Ryder

Ah, fuck me! Ryder massaged Tess’s tongue with his, fighting to do what he knew he needed.

Tess clutched at him, her hands tugging almost painfully at his hair. She pressed herself to her toes as she matched her fervor. His wolf was beside himself, racing around and yipping like an idiot. He hardened as the soft heat of Tess’s form pressed into him. She was so damn appealing it was difficult for him to think.

It would be so easy to abandon everything he knew and simply take her at her word. To lay her down on the floor and make a pillow for her head out of old clothes. To envelop himself in her sweet heat…

With effort, he broke the kiss. Tess panted, searching his face with both a question and an invitation.

“We can’t,” he murmured. His hands dropped to her hips, and he firmly stepped back. “I understand that this situation has heightened emotions. We can’t go further.”

“Why?” Tess’s voice was soft, almost a whimper. Her lips were swollen and red, inviting him to come back to another taste.

His wolf whimpered in response, then growled at him for stopping. “I’m not your mate, Tess. And I respect you too much to take advantage of you.”

Fuck, but he was stronger than he thought. He stepped back, putting even more space between them. His hands fell to his sides. If only other parts of his body would queue in. His jeans were so tight they were painful.

“I’m not asking you to be my mate, Ryder,” Tess said. She clutched at the blanket, lifting it higher to hide more of her body. “I know you don’t want that. It wouldn’t mean anything. Just… just the experience.”

Ryder shook his head. She said that now, but afterward? When the regret hit?

Her shoulders slumped as she stepped back from him. “I understand. You don’t want me as a mate, and you don’t want to give me any false impressions. I won’t push the matter. I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

She was retreating back into herself. Ryder wanted to reassure her and explain that it had nothing to do with desire but rather because of the situation. Or perhaps it was deeper than that. In any case, he couldn’t merely fuck her and call it a day.

“Mica would kill me if I did it,” he offered, trying to lighten the somber mood.

“Only if you blabbed,” Tess muttered.

“You two talk about everything. You’d tell her if you lost your virginity in this situation.”

Tess’s head snapped toward him. “Who told you—” Her cheeks turned red. “Oh. Right. I guess it’s obvious. If I was asking to experience sex… then…”

Ryder opened his mouth to tell her she’d find someone to treat her better. Someone who would make sure her first time was special. But the words got stuck on the way out. It was for the best, anyway. They needed to put this conversation aside. Otherwise, he’d be far too easily convinced to change his mind.

The situation was an overwhelming one. If they weren’t in this exact scenario, Tess wouldn’t be asking him for this. Which meant it wasn’t really what she wanted. He had to keep that in mind the longer they waited.

He checked out the window again. No stirring in the trees, but the demons wouldn’t have just left. He frowned as he considered his options. They were protected here—for now at least—but there was no telling when help would arrive. The sky was thick with darkening clouds. If it rained, it would destroy the trail that the others would use to find them.

He stole a glance at Tess again. She had made herself a new nest, and her eyes were shut. Good. Once he was certain she was asleep, he could leave her here—without a fuss—and go back for help himself. And without having to worry about her safety, he’d rip the throat out of any demon who faced him.

For now, though… he sank to the floor and adjusted his position to lean against the wall. The wound on his back was still bleeding. Injuries from the demons seemed to last longer than normal ones. Maverick suspected that they coated their teeth and claws with poison.

Ryder lowered his head, letting his eyes close. The lack of sleep from the previous night was catching up with him. He couldn’t sleep, but he needed rest. He put his hands on his knees and focused on entering a restful, meditative state. His thoughts drifted away as his breathing deepened.

His limbs seemed to grow heavily, and he let his head rest against the wall. The waves of near-sleep washed against him. Before he knew it, he was drifting. And as he drifted, he remembered.

***

“Fuck me and my birthday, I guess,” Ryder said. He kicked a rock and glanced around the forest guiltily. His mom would be very disappointed in him for using that sort of language. Especially after what happened.

But it wasn’t fair! This was the one day of the year that was supposed to be about him. He’d just turned thirteen years old. He was becoming a man and should have been allowed to join the Alpha’s hunt! It wasn’t his fault that Echo seemed determined to still see him as a little boy.

The heat of the summer sun filtered through the trees as he walked along the familiar path. He kicked at another rock, glaring at the strip of brown within the tightly packed greenery. It wasn’t just that Echo refused to let him join the Alpha’s hunt this year. He could sort of understand that since he didn’t have a father to go with him and show him how things were done.

But Mica shouldn’t have stuck her nose into it. What did she know about the hunts? And so, of course, he was going to tell her to stay out of it. Of course, he was going to tell her that she was human and didn’t know what she was talking about…

“So yeah. Fuck,” he said aloud. “I’m allowed to be upset. I don’t feel guilty. At all.”

Only he did, and he hated that he did. It wasn’t fair that Mica could just start to cry and make him feel like this. He was only trying to find his place in the pack. Why was that so bad? All his friends were going on the hunt. If he couldn’t have a father, at least he could train to be one of the Alpha’s warriors, right? How was he meant to do that if he wasn’t even allowed on a hunt?

The sound of singing made him stop. He lifted his head, squinting as he peered into the pale light of the forest. Where was that coming from? Quickly, he took off his clothes and took his wolf form. Swiveling his ears this way and that, he soon pinpointed the direction the song was coming from. He trotted off the path, trusting himself to find his way back.

He came through to a clearing around a small stream. A girl dressed in a white dress danced at the edges of the stream. She sang to herself as her hair blew around her. Ryder recognized her. She was in the same grade as Mica. What was her name again?

He crept under a bush and settled there, hiding from her. The girl had long black hair that glistened in the sunlight. She danced fluidly, and her singing voice was sweet. He smiled to himself. She looked like a fairy princess, so light and free, like dewdrops in the morning.

Would she be scared if he came out of the bush? Or would she let him sit on the side of the bank and sing songs for him?

His heart beat faster as his wolf nudged him, encouraging him to leave his hiding place. Just as he had almost screwed up enough courage—

“Tess!” A huge man with long hair tied at the nape of his neck came charging into the clearing. Lenard, if Ryder was right. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Tess jumped and backed up several steps. “I was just singing, Father.”

He poked a huge finger into her face. “What have I told you about fucking off in the forest? Get your useless ass back home to help your mother clean the house.”

“But I did my chores,” Tess wailed, hurrying past him.

“Don’t you fucking talk back to me,” he lifted his hand, and Tess flinched.

She hurried away. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m going right now.”

The man followed her away.

Ryder’s belly pressed to the ground. He was rooted to the spot, his eyes wide. His wolf was just as shocked. A growl rose through his chest, but he was rooted in the spot. What had just happened? Why had that man yelled at the fairy girl like that?

He should have done something. He should have gone out there and told the man to fuck off. He should have put himself between Tess and her father. It was what he was supposed to do: protect people. And he had just stayed there, watching. What sort of man would he be if he were such a coward?

***

Ryder’s head jerked up with a start. The familiar ache burned in his chest. How many times had he relived that memory, thinking of all the things he could have done? He’d been only a kid, but it was one of his biggest regrets. He could only imagine how worse Tess would think of him if he admitted that shame.

Speaking of Tess, she ought to be asleep by now. Ryder glanced at the nest. His heart stuttered to a stop.

She wasn’t there.

She wasn’t in the cabin.

Which meant… FUCK!