& Then They Wed (Ampersand Love #2)

14. Counting Pi

14

Counting Pi

Rian

R ian reared back, eyes wide.

"W-what?” he squeaked in an undignified manner. Kissing? Who was kissing who?

"It’ll be like research. Cold and clinical,” Aditi said, thankfully not noticing anything amiss. “You can tell me what I'm doing wrong."

"D-d-doing?"

She stepped closer. If Aditi was the predator, his fight or flight response was non-existent. He was going to die. He just knew it. She was too close and he couldn’t breathe.

"What the hell are you doing?" he rasped, his feet locked in place.

"Getting into position.” She placed one hand on his shoulder.

"What position!" His mind conjured images of positions. Many many positions that Aditi could assume. Starting with her on her knees, her mouth full of him. Or bent over the kitchen counter. Or riding him on the couch. His pants were getting too tight and he still couldn’t breathe .

Fuck my life, is this what a panic attack feels like?

"For the kiss,” she frowned. “Haven’t you been listening?”

He hadn’t. His mind had been painting vividly erotic images that had caused him temporary deafness and permanent brain damage.

Then, as if she’d realised something shocking, she backed away.

"Oh no. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

What now? Rian had no energy to ask the question.

"You look like you would have kissed scores already. I didn't realise you've never been kissed."

That broke through the haze that had clouded him for the last multiple minutes.

"Stop talking,” he ordered, aghast that this had been her conclusion to his obvious shock.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Bugs. Forget I said anything. I'll find someone else.”

The fuck? Someone else? The acid in his stomach rose at the thought, observing her as she turned away.

"Doc. Wait."

Before he could talk himself out of it, his fingers gripped her chin, tipping her face up. He bent low and pressed his lips against hers, gentle, soft, noting that she’d gone still. When he straightened, his focus was on her. He had no idea what her reaction was going to be.

“There you go,” he awkwardly said, as though he’d just survived a chore. Aditi blinked, air filling her cheeks as she clamped her lips together, swallowing back a response. Rian had kissed her and it had been. . .underwhelming. Not that it was a bad kiss. For a sister. And she would wade through a vat of cow dung before she allowed him to think of her as a sister.

"Nice.” Her voice pitched high as it usually did when she lied. She cleared her throat. “For your first kiss, it was fine."

His eyes narrowed. "That wasn't my first kiss.”

"Sure,” she agreed, wincing when her soprano gave her away.

"You don't believe me."

“No offence, but when my ex kissed me, I could count to fifteen decimal places for pi. What you did, I didn’t have time to think of the word much less start counting. It ended before it began."

"That was deliberate. You asked me for a kiss. I gave you one. Duration was not a factor.”

Suddenly, she didn’t feel too well. A kiss from Rian, as unexpected as it had been, had possibly been the nicest thing to happen to her in a while. To hear that he couldn’t bear to mash lips with her for longer than a few seconds made her feel like she'd been pushed out of a moving train.

Rian couldn’t hold back a frown, watching Aditi retreat from him in a way he had not expected. "What?”

“Nothing, it’s fine.”

“Aditi!” he barked, his patience wearing thin, worry and lust creating a frustratingly confusing mix of emotions within him.

“I just expected more,” she admitted sadly, no longer looking at him.

More?

“Maybe it’s me. Maybe I don’t inspire the kind of passion I read about in books or see on screen.” She sighed, staring outwards again, leaning her elbows on the railing. Her stance reeked of defeat. He had never expected to witness this touch of melancholy in her, and it didn’t sit right with him. Her uncertainty regarding her sexual appeal boggled his mind.

“I hadn’t considered that Harish could be right,” she said, her wistful smile curling like a thorny tendril about his errant heart, squeezing it so painfully that it ached.

"He’s not right.”

A quiet ha puffed out of her. “You don’t even know him. He was –”

“An idiot,” Rian firmly said. Her profile was illuminated by the lights around them, the golden glow making her look like a goddess bathed in honey. Anyone foolish enough to make her believe that she was less was definitely of questionable intelligence. Thankfully, his grumpy frown hid his thoughts well.

“Your ex didn't know what he was doing if you were counting numbers while kissing him.”

"Hmm?"

"You won't be thinking when I kiss you."

If you kiss me, she wanted to snap, still annoyed with his non-smooch. All that build-up and it had ended before she could blink.

"I don’t believe you. Not that I think you can’t kiss well. Maybe you can—”

The ‘maybe’ was starting to get more irritating by the second. He wanted to kiss her until she had no breath left in her body to doubt him again. But that would be a mistake. Truly, kissing this woman would start something that he wasn’t prepared for.

“. . .but my brain is too loud.”

That stopped him short.

“Your brain is the problem?” he asked, incredulously.

She nodded.

“Harish was not half bad in bed. But I could never stop thinking enough to be what he needed.”

“Let me guess. Your idiot ex told you that,” he griped, judgement dripping from every word.

“Yes. But I don’t think he was wrong. My mind is just always. . .running. Thinking about the things that need to be done. Or that I could do.” Aditi rubbed her arms up and down, the chill slowly getting to her. “That’s why I rewatch old movies before I sleep. So I can stop in the middle without wondering about the plot. I tend to read books only with happy endings, because at least I know what to expect.” She paused. “I think I’ve lost you.”

“You haven't,” he said, startling her when he wrapped a blanket around her, turning her towards him to adjust it. “You find comfort in what is known to you. ”

She blinked. “You understood all of what I said?”

“Perfectly. Was I not supposed to?”

“I’m just surprised. By now, Harish would have rolled his eyes and told me I’d stopped making sense a long time ago.”

Harish is a real fucking tool , Rian almost spat, his dislike growing every time Aditi mentioned the guy. He wished he’d given in to his impulse to sucker punch Harish’s face at the restaurant. He could only guess that her ex, intimidated by her intelligence, had attempted to maintain his superiority by making her feel bad about herself.

“If someone doesn’t understand you, it's because they were too lazy to pay attention. You make perfect sense to me. Continue.”

The sound of crickets grew louder.

“What was I saying?”

She looked so adorably concerned, Rian couldn’t help it. Laughter bubbled within him, bursting out in a rough bark once, then again, until he was chortling in earnest.

When she glared at him, god help him, he actually did want to kiss the pout off her face.

"Don't laugh,” she almost cried, her feelings still teetering on the edge of hurt. “Help me out of this situation."

"By immersing myself in your situation? Correction, situationship?" Rian joked, still wheezing.

"Yes!"

"No.”

"Ugh, fine,” she grumbled, thoroughly annoyed. She pushed off the railing to head back inside. “Dr. Sameer is a nice guy. He might agree. He doesn't want anything serious anyway,” she muttered to herself, missing the murderous shadow that darkened his face. “Might even kiss me like he means it.”

Rian didn’t know what possessed him. His tightly reined control snapped and his screaming practical brain was subdued by the calculative and ruthless side of him who had but one aim .

To conquer. To pillage. To own.

He spun her around and hauled her against him. “Just remember that you wanted this.”

“Wha. . .”

His fingers slid into her hair, cupping the back of her head just as his mouth landed on hers, drowning out her exclamation. His arm encircled her waist as he bent over her, his lips drawing hers, suckling one and then the other, going back again and again until her shock receded. Aditi felt a jolt of awareness drum through her when the tip of his tongue traced the seam of her mouth.

Her lips parted automatically, a tacit encouragement for him to deepen the kiss, one which he accepted without delay. His fingers curled into her scalp, pulling slightly to tilt her face so he could have unhindered access. His tongue swept into her warmth, tasting the sweetness of the cream she’d devoured, adding to a flavour that was innately her.

Her hands moved up his arms, gently tracing the flex of his biceps under the cotton he wore, finding their path up until her fingers met the exposed skin of his throat. She tried to rise up on her toes, gasping when he helped her by grabbing her ass and lifting her upwards. Her breasts grew heavy and her nipples puckered under her nightshirt, fueled by the feel of his muscular body against hers, all hardness and heat in contrast to her lush curves.

The unintentional scrape of her nail against his collarbone caused him to shudder. With a needy growl, he tightened his hold, squeezing her derriere in approval. Her little sounds enchanted him, his ears attuned to her whimpers, his hands full of the woman he’d been lusting after for weeks. The heady feeling of finally giving in to at least this one kiss only fueled the fire. He wanted more of her than he already had.

Aditi gave in to Rian’s demands, letting him kiss her like she was the only tether he had left to life itself. Just when she thought her chest would burst for need of air, he pulled away .

Eyes closed, she leaned her forehead against his cheek, needing multiple moments to simply catch her breath. She didn’t know what to think. Her body was trembling, her knees felt like jelly. The only reason she hadn’t melted into a puddle was because she was in his arms.

She was still having trouble recollecting normal words. Given the fact that his hands were still squarely on her ass, she didn’t think she could get her brain working anytime soon.

She was so confused that her first attempt at speaking was a singular squeak. Nothing more. She gulped and tried again, “What was that?”

The heated look he shot her was one she felt all the way to her core and back.

“A kiss.”

His husky voice threatened to obliterate any remaining brain cells she had. She supposed it was some consolation that he sounded as out of breath as her.

“Why?” She had to claw back the urge to pull him towards her again when he stepped away. He didn’t speak for what felt like an eternity, observing her like he’d found an unsolvable puzzle that intrigued him as equally as it vexed him. The sound of heavy breathing punctuated the space between them.

"If I say yes,” he started, still panting like he’d not recovered from kissing her, “I lead this."

It took a moment for Aditi to realise what he was referring to. "Are you saying yes?"

Rian nodded. It seemed obvious that Aditi was set on following through with her plan to experiment romantically. If not him, she’d find someone else. By agreeing to this fling, Rian could keep her safe from unscrupulous men. And keeping her safe would be the most respectful thing he could do, which is what he’d promised Nanamma .

Maybe Aditi had rubbed off on him because despite the serpentine reasoning, things finally made sense. Suddenly, his mind was on board with something his heart had wanted for a long time. He could finally justify giving in to his base urges.

"I set the pace here, not you," Rian instructed, still cautious.

"Deal!" With unexpected enthusiasm, Aditi jumped and threw her arms about his neck. The kiss already had him on edge and with her full breasts pressing into him, Rian could no more control his body’s reaction than he could the phases of the moon. She jumped back, her gaze dropping to his crotch, the result of their liplock and her exuberant hug now evident.

“You’re attracted to me.” He hadn’t rejected her many days ago because he thought she was a loathsome toad? He hadn’t just agreed to a fling because he pitied her? She raised her eyes to his, needing an answer that wouldn’t hurt her pride. “Are you?”

Why she sounded so surprised, he would never understand.

“Only a blind man or a fool wouldn’t be,” Rian admitted with a snort. “And I am neither.”

Her nose twitched. “What a roundabout way to say yes.”

“Fine, yes. I am attracted to you.”

The smile that grew on her face made his heart pound harder. Like it was ready to burst out of his chest, yodel like Tarzan, and swing right into her arms.

“So you do want to kiss me?” she confirmed.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” she beamed. “I’m all yours.”

Something else pounded just as hard as his heart. How he didn’t just bend her over the railing right then and fuck her until her body knew what it was to truly become his, he’d never know. Goddamnit, he needed a cold shower pronto.

“Don’t say stuff like that,” he snapped.

“Why?”

Because I liked it too much .

“Because I am not ready,” he gritted out, pride be damned. He was afraid of pouncing on her like an ill-bred animal. He was plain afraid of her.

“Will you be ready tomorrow?”

Rian dropped his head into his hands, hoping she didn’t test his patience anymore. “Good night, Doc,” he muttered, spinning on his heel, ready to head to bed where he knew he was condemned to spending a night cursing himself over his inability to stay away from her.

“At least answer me this.” He glanced behind to see that she had followed him into the hallway.

“What made you change your mind?”

He tilted his head, turning fully to face her.

“Why did you kiss me right now?” she asked, her voice dropping so that she didn’t wake up Nanamma.

Because the thought of her kissing someone else while he was right next to her made him irrationally enraged. Even now, the mere idea of it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You’ve been begging me for a kiss,” he gruffed, trying to make it seem insignificant. “I felt charitable today.”

“I do not beg!” she hissed, fire flashing in her eyes. Her anger only served to arouse him, wanting to see what else he could do to make her lose composure.

“You would.”

“Don’t be so sure of yourself.”

“How many decimals of pi did you count when I kissed you?” he asked, his slow smirk growing when her ire turned to surprise.

Aditi realised, stupefied, that her overactive brain had not been working while kissing Rian. Pi? She probably couldn’t have told him her name if he’d asked her thirty seconds ago.

Rian placed both palms on the wall beside her face, trapping her between his arms. The cool wall dug into her back, her heart flapping around like a caged bird in anticipation of what he would do next. Her eyes closed involuntarily when he leaned down, his breath warming her face. He traced the curve of her cheek with the tip of his nose, deliberately going slow until he licked one earlobe, flicking it teasingly, causing her breath to hitch.

“R-Rian,” she gasped, feeling woozy, his scent seeping into her.

“This is how I know, Aditi Krishnan,” he whispered, his breath hot against her skin. “If I wanted you to beg, you would.”

Her eyes opened to the rush of cool air as he backed away and walked off. She wanted to stalk after him and smack him for daring to tease her. But the embarrassing heat in her underbelly told her that despite her denial, Rian was right.

For him, she would beg.