& Then They Wed (Ampersand Love #2)

15. Safe Words

15

Safe Words

Rian

“ P ick a safe word.”

Aditi stopped halfway to taking a bite of her toast, blinking at the suddenness with which Rian had declared this. She sent a panicked glance where Nanamma had just disappeared, the sound of her morning prayers floating down the hallway.

The serene chanting of Suprabhatam as a backdrop to discuss safe words for sexual exploration felt morally unsafe. It was also the crack of dawn and she had not slept the night, reliving his kiss over and over again until her body and mind had been so aroused that she’d had to indulge in some self-love.

She’d never orgasmed that quickly to the memory of just a kiss. So, if Rian wanted to discuss safe words at 6:30 a.m. on a Thursday while his grandmother prayed to all the lords of the Hindu pantheon, then Aditi would find a way to live with that.

When she didn’t reply fast enough, Rian spoke again. “A safe word is—”

“I know what a safe word is!” she furiously whispered, crunching down on her toast for emphasis.

“You do?” Rian hated the idea of a dickwad like Harish ever having touched Aditi. He didn’t deserve to lick dust off her feet, and knowing all the ways in which he’d offended her, Rian was certain he must have been a selfish bastard in bed as well. He passed Aditi her latte, unable to help himself from adding another diss. “Your ex didn’t seem adventurous enough to need one.”

“He wasn’t. But I’m a woman in my prime.”

Rian’s brow lifted.

“And I’ve read books,” she added, a becoming blush gracing her skin. He adored that she couldn’t lie well. It fit her personality.

He leaned over the counter so that he was face to face with her. “One of these days, I want you to read these books to me.”

Her blush deepened.

“Read them yourself,” she suggested, trying to sound annoyed. She looked away, and that was the only reason she didn’t see the momentary loss of his teasing smile before he shook it off.

“No. I’d rather have you do the honours. Or we could listen to the audiobook together.”

She raised her half-eaten toast and waved it at him. “That’s not part of this deal we have going on here.”

“It could be. The rules are whatever you want it to be, Doc. I set the pace but you have all the control.”

Aditi watched the veins in the back of his hand pop with each motion as he cleared the coffee grounds, thick biceps flexing under his skin-tight T-shirt as he tapped the filter against the knockbox. Barely ten hours ago, she was being crushed by those strong arms. Those large hands had touched her body and to her disappointment, had not left a mark. Rules? What rules? Left up to her, the rules wouldn’t exist and Aditi was most afraid of letting her emotions run rampant with this man, like her hormones already did .

“Pick a safe word.” His long fingers drummed the countertop, bringing her attention back to him.

Feeling like she needed to regain control of the situation, her crooked mind landed on the one word that might irritate him. “Bunny,” she announced, barely holding back an impulse to cackle at the way he stiffened. She waited for him to call her out on her choice, but to her consternation, he simply nodded.

“Okay. Bunny then. If you are uncomfortable at any point when we are together, say your safe word and I will stop. Then we’ll reassess.”

“Okay. And the same safe word applies to you.”

This surprised him. “It does?”

Aditi stood up, dropping her plate into the sink before swiping up her mug. She walked over to stand next to him in the farthest corner of the kitchen, both keeping an eye out in case Nanamma returned.

“Yes. You use the safe word too. It’ll help me understand when I’m being too much. I would like not to scare you away by being too. . .” me . She grimaced hating that Harish had managed to leave this bit of insecurity in her.

“Too?”

She found herself under keen observation, his light eyes glinting with interest.

“I want to be able to keep a person interested. In this case, you.”

“You don’t have to do anything more to generate interest. Trust me.”

Aditi let out a guffaw. “Sure. That’s why I’ve had thirteen unsuccessful matrimonial dates in three months. I’m not perfect, Bugs, so don’t try to make it sound like I am.”

The damndest thing was that she was pretty close to perfection in his eyes. Rian was hard pressed to think of one single thing he didn’t find charming about Aditi Krishnan. Even her penchant for overextending herself when being helpful only told him that she was a kind human. Her ability to be honest with herself and the people around her was refreshing. How much more perfect could she get?

“Hello? Bugs? You okay?” She snapped her fingers in front of him, calling him back to their conversation.

“Yeah. Fine,” he mumbled, sipping his black coffee. “Where were we?”

“You were about to kiss me.”

His hand shook and he stopped short of dropping his cup. “What? No, I wasn’t.”

“You certainly were,” she insisted, grinning at him in that open, happy way that made his mind go blank. “You’re going to knock my socks off with an expert kiss. That’s what this whole discussion is leading towards. I’m just jumping a few steps ahead.”

She placed her mug down and stood with her arms on either side, as though ready for him to make good on her expectation of a fiery smooch. He would have done it had it not been for Nanamma being some twenty-odd feet away. She’d either catch them in the act and get a coronary, or she’d jump around for joy and thrust them both down the aisle in the next minute. Probably, the latter.

He couldn’t risk it.

“Doc, you said you’d listen to me and let me set the pace.”

As expected, her luscious lips turned down into a pout. Fuck, had her lips always been this irresistible shade of berries?

“Is the pace pacing towards kissing?” she asked, her mournful tone wanting him to throw caution to the wind.

“Not yet,” he gritted out.

“Then I don’t like it.”

“Bunny!”

“Ugh, fine,” she huffed, stepping away to place her mug in the sink. “I bet you just want me to shut the fuck up and double teedeelag.”

Nose scrunched, he peered at her. “What the hell is that? Some medical terminology? ”

When she turned back to face him, she had that familiar mischief dancing in her eyes. She bit her lower lip, thinking, and then sauntered towards him slowly, deliberately swaying her hips in a way that had his cock starting to strain against the zipper on his jeans.

He felt the cold countertop dig into his butt when she stepped closer, her chest brushing lightly against his as she raised a hand and jerked him down by his collar.

“If you figure it out,” she husked, his body reacting to her sultry voice, the teasing trail of her fingers against his jaw making him gulp audibly, “I’ll listen to whatever you say.”

His throat worked hard, barely listening to her, wondering if he had time to sneak in a kiss before Nanamma returned.

“I might even double teedeelag for you.”

She tapped his lip playfully, breaking him out of the trance she’d put him under. With what could only be described as an evil grin, she swung her backpack on her shoulders and winked at him before leaving him alone and aroused with no hope of relief. The sound of the front door clicking to a close cut through his disbelief. Siren that she was, she’d just taken revenge for how he’d teased her last night. And he’d fallen for it—hook, line and sinker.

Rian couldn’t stop thinking about Aditi and her challenge all morning. Which meant that he’d spent nearly every break he’d had to look up teedeelag and its variants, to no avail.

Now, sitting across from his best friend who’d come to visit him for lunch, his mind was still stuck on winning.

Kaya watched Rian pretend to be interested in listening to her talk about her honeymoon while his eyes kept darting towards his phone.

“Rian?”

“Hmm.” He clicked a link, scrunching his nose at the small font. He took a deep breath and tried again, zooming in and using his finger as a guide to check the glossary index. Nope, he decided, switching his Bluetooth on, hearing the beep on the single earbud that he still had on. A few clicks later, he was running the script through his text-to-speech software.

He looked up to find Kaya staring at him. He smiled.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Good.”

He tapped on another site that looked promising, letting a very monotonous voice list out the words and their definitions from the live page. A moment later, Kaya’s words finally struck him and his head whipped up.

“Wait, what?” he yelped, eyes wide.

To his surprise, she rolled her eyes and took an aggressive bite of her meal instead.

“That took you way too long to react. And I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.”

“So, you’re not pregnant?”

Kaya shook her head.

“If I was, Arjun would be here with me to tell you the news also. I’m seeing you after nearly two months and you have been occupied with something else.”

At her chastising tone, Rian shot her an apologetic glance, finally putting his phone away and taking his earbud out.

“Sorry. I’ll be good, I promise. How was New Zealand?” he asked, finally paying attention to everything Kaya had to say. Kaya and Arjun had been married for nearly six years, but had been estranged up until a few months ago. Eager to spend time with his wife, Arjun had whisked her away to a different country altogether. They’d just returned a couple days ago.

Rian observed the glow of a woman well loved on Kaya’s face. The air of anxiety and sadness that seemed to hover about her had lifted. She was clearly happier, and Rian knew that Arjun had everything to do with it .

He listened indulgently to Kaya gush about her newborn nephew, leaning in to see pictures of him on her phone. One after another, he was presented with beautiful family photos.

Six months ago, this family was broken. Today, they were united, glad to be part of each other's lives again. His eyes roved over the elder Mr. Sharma.

The Sharmas had been publicly shamed by his hateful mother at a party where a teenaged Rian and Kaya were found together, alone, about to get intimate. It had resulted in an exile that had lasted eleven years for the young girl, and had cost Kaya her family, her confidence, and the love of a good man.

In a twist of fate, she had recovered all three in a single stroke.

Kaya’s relationship with her father had been contentious, much like his with his mother. The only difference was that Shubham Sharma had come to a realisation that his behaviour would drive away his daughter forever.

“Are you and your father still going to therapy?”

“Yes, why? Considering it for you and your mother?”

A puff of air escaped him, a laugh laced with bitterness. “Leela Shetty is beyond help. You know that as well as I do.”

Kaya reached across the table for Rian’s hand, holding on with a friendly squeeze. He smiled reassuringly at her. He didn’t hope for reconciliation with his mother. He simply wanted to be able to reach a point when the thought of her wouldn’t leave this fragment of misery in him. Maybe he needed therapy.

“I’m glad you made up with your father. You seem happier for it.”

“I’m glad, too. But. . .”

Rian caught the fleeting look of discomfort in her eyes. He tilted his chin up, encouraging her to speak without hesitation.

She sighed. “I am happier than I have ever been. But that’s because of Arjun, more than anyone else. Therapy with Dadda has only given me closure. I’m glad we don’t have that bitterness between us anymore. But I am no longer the Kaya who yearned for his approval,” she admitted. “He tries, but our relationship cannot be what it used to be thirteen years ago. That time is long gone and the person it would have made a difference to no longer exists.”

Her acceptance was bittersweet. The young girl who had craved her father’s love had been forced to grow up without it. When change finally came about, she was an adult with a different support system. Clearly, she had made her peace with that, and Rian couldn’t be more proud.

“Enough about me.” She tossed her curls up into a messy bun when she got too annoyed with them flying into her face. “What were you searching for?” One dainty finger tapped the case of his cell.

Rian’s eyes landed on his phone, then back at her. If anyone was good with research, it was Kaya. She was an author and had a penchant for spending hours creating elaborate backgrounds for her characters. She may well have come across this while writing. So, in the hopes that he was right, Rian asked her.

“Double teedeelag?” Kaya repeated with a frown, her face a close replica of a child who’d been asked to solve astrophysics. “I’ve never heard of that.”

Rian almost groaned. “I wouldn’t put it past her to send me on a wild goose chase. The woman is a menace.”

“Woman?” Kaya perked up immediately. “Who?”

“My house guest.”

“You have a guest I don’t know about?” She smacked his arm in mock outrage. “How could you not tell me?”

“You’ve been playing house for the last forty-three days straight. In another continent. When would I have told you this?”

Kaya sat back, crossing her arms as she considered Rian’s odd behaviour throughout lunch. “She's gotten under your skin if you're calling her a menace. Will I like her?"

“Most definitely.” Except for idiots and psychopaths, everyone liked Aditi .

“When will I get to meet her?”

“Not anytime soon if I can help it,” Rian brattily replied, picking up his phone to begin his search anew, his voice assistant rapidly firing off new words in quick succession.

“You’re being so lazy! Just read it yourself. Why do you need it read out loud?” Kaya asked, taking another bite of her meal.

He shrugged, not looking her in the eye. “It’s easier.”

“Why medical lingo? Is your houseguest a doctor?”

Rian nodded, busy listening intently, mumbling to himself. “Teela? Tila? Double t's?”

He looked up. “Is there a word that starts with two Ts? The only one I know is tteokbokki and I am pretty sure she isn’t talking about spicy Korean rice cakes.”

Kaya grinned at his guess, teasingly sticking her tongue against the inside of her cheek. “Are you still justifying your K-drama phase as research into new foods?”

Rian huffed, pasting a supercilious expression on his face. “It is. You liked the kimchi-flavoured pancakes I made before.”

“I also liked seeing you pretend like that TV show about the North and South Korean couple was something more than a love story. What was it called? Crashing Into You?”

Rian tried hard not to take the bait, but he couldn’t resist correcting her.

“Crash Landing On You. If you’re going to rag on me about my Netflix choices, the least you can do is remember the right name.”

“And,” he continued, deliberately ignoring Kaya’s trembling lips as she held back her laughter, “that TV show brought to light political tensions between North and South Korea and its impact on the general public. Where is your heart?”

“With Arjun,” she shot back immediately with a moony smile.

Rian made a gagging sound, pretending to want to throw up. With a shake of his head, he shifted his attention to the screen of his phone when Kaya gasped, drawing a look from him .

“Ri, is it maybe T-T-D-L-A-G-G? An acronym, not an actual word?”

Rian shrugged, neither the word nor the acronym familiar to him.

“Does your guest, by any chance, read romance novels?” Kaya asked, a peculiar gleam in her eyes.

“Yes! How'd you know that?”

She burst out laughing, confusing him further.

“What? Do you know what that word means?”

Between snorts, Kaya nodded. Every time he thought she was done, she would begin laughing anew, until her face was pink and her eyes teary.

“Kaya, for fuck’s sake, tell me!”

“First,” she gasped, wiping the edge of one eye, “promise me that you’ll bring her out to meet us all tomorrow. Arjun, Vihaan, me, you, and your guest.”

“But. . .”

“I’m not budging on this. And trust me,” she added, curiosity building in her about the woman who had gotten her normally unflappable friend to pay singular attention to such a silly exercise. “You want to know what this means.”