Theoretically Perfect (Theoretically Straight #2)

11. Caleb

“We’re heading out for the tour. You two feel better,” Ashley says, poking her head through the adjoining door. “I’ll grab you both some electrolyte drinks from the gift shop on our way back.”

“Thanks, Ashley,” I say, not hiding the hoarseness in my voice. Crying yourself to sleep has its perks, at least if you’re faking sick.

She shuts the door, and Theo and I sit in silence till the footsteps in the other room fade, and we’re truly alone. For the first time since my blow-up in the suite, I allow myself to look at Theo. He’s sitting on the bed, his legs folded under him as he leans back against the headboard. His dark curls have gotten longer over the winter, and they hang down low enough they almost obscure his eyes. He’s still in his sleep clothes, tattered shorts that hit him at the knee, and a green t-shirt that nearly matches the forest color I painted my nails.

And when he raises his gaze to meet mine, I suck in a breath because he’s never looked more miserable. And that’s my fault.

“I’m so sorry, Caleb.” He buries his face in his hands, letting out a sigh.

“I know,” I say, not sure what else to add.

He drags his fingers down his face, his head falling back against the board once more. “That night,” he starts, his eyes drifting to the window. “The reason I left—it really didn’t have anything to do with you. My dad texted me, and it sort of started a spiral. He… he isn’t getting any better, Caleb. About the two of us, I mean. Mom keeps talking to him, and Grace is doing what she can, but he won’t listen. He’s just so stubborn. Rigid. It doesn’t matter what I do. He won’t bend. And the worst part is, I still care–so fucking much–about what he thinks of me. It kills me that he sees me as this immoral, corrupted person.” Theo’s nose scrunches, and he takes a shuddered breath before continuing, “He used to call me his ‘perfect son.’ Now, he thinks I’m rebelling against him by saying I’m bisexual. Like it’s just something I decided one day. He’s fully convinced that if he prays hard enough and keeps me on a short enough leash, I’ll ‘straighten out’ one day, and this whole thing,” he motions between the two of us, “will be a distant memory.”

Theo sniffles, wiping the end of his nose with the back of his hand.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He looks up at me, eyes shining. “I was afraid. I still am, actually. That you’ll think I’m not worth the trouble. Or you’ll convince yourself that breaking things off with me would hurt me less. And I don’t want that, Caleb. I don’t want you to leave me. You make my life better.”

I cross over to the bed, sinking onto the corner opposite Theo. “I’m not going anywhere, dummy. So, put that out of your mind. But you’ve got to talk to me, Theo. At least to tell me what’s going on. I’m not, like, a therapist or whatever, but I can listen. I can hold you when you’re feeling down. I can tell you how much you mean to me. I can bombard you with silly memes till those tears are from laughter, not heartache.”

Theo lets out a broken chuckle.

“You don’t have to be perfect for me, Theo. I never expected you to be anything other than the goofball I fell in love with.”

Theo nods, curls falling into his eyes once more.

“You deserve more,” he mutters, hands clenched on his knees.

Any remnants of my anger or frustration melt away, dissolved by the pain in his voice. He doesn’t understand how much he means to me. How long I’ve waited to feel this way about someone and for those feelings to be returned.

Moving closer, I rest my hand on his. “You make me happy, Theo Briggs. I think that’s all anyone can ask for. And yes, I know we’re sort of in the middle of our first fight, but I’m not ready to give that up. So, please. Keep talking to me. Don’t shut me out again.”

He shifts his hand, wrapping fingers around mine and stroking it with his thumb. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about my dad. I love him, of course, but every time I’m around him, I just want to scream. He won’t listen. He’s convinced that I’m rebelling, that I’m doing this as a way to punish him. How am I supposed to make him see it’s got nothing to do with him?”

It’s not fair. Theo shouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit from someone who’s supposed to be on his side through everything. My parents have never once tried to change who I was. They only celebrated me at every turn, every moment of self-discovery. Sure, there have been times when I wish they took more time away from work, and the whole sex-talk ambush thing was wild, but I can’t help feeling lucky to have them.

I need to give them an extra hug when I get home.

“What happens if you can’t change his mind?”

Theo looks up at me again, his eyes wide. “What?”

“You said it yourself, he’s not going to bend. So, what happens if he doesn’t change his mind? What does that mean for us?”

“I-I don’t know.”

It’s not exactly the answer I was hoping for. It would be great for him to make some grand gesture, telling me that he’d cut ties with his parents if that’s what it took for us to be together, but this isn’t some rom-com that wraps neatly in ninety minutes. This is real life, and it’s far more complex than the movies ever make it out to be.

“I’m not trying to put you on the spot or anything,” I say, suddenly feeling very selfish for bringing up the topic.

“No, you’re right to ask it. The truth is, I have no idea what I’m going to do if my dad doesn’t have a change of heart. And that scares me. But so does the thought of losing you, and I feel paralyzed waiting for one of them to happen.”

I squeeze his hand, drawing his attention back from the edge of the spiral he’s teetering on. “Hey, you’re not losing me, Theo. I’m right here.”

He nods, taking a deep, shuddered breath.

“This is something that a lot of queer people have to deal with, unfortunately. And it doesn’t always have a happy ending. But you’ve got friends and family who love you, Theo. Who celebrate all of who you are, not just the pieces they like. If your dad chooses not to see the incredible, sincere, hard-working person that you are, then that’s his loss.”

Theo’s eyes go wide like he’s afraid of what I’m saying.

“That’s his loss,” I say again, taking his free hand and tethering him to me. “You’re a good person. Nothing he says can change that. His morals don’t mean a damn thing.”

“But what if he’s right about me?” Theo says, his voice so quiet I can barely make out the words.

“Then you’d better get used to being a degenerate because I’m not letting you go that easily.”

A ghost of a smile plays across Theo’s lips.

“Plus, Wren has already offered to fight your dad, so there’s always that.”

Another laugh, and some light returns to Theo’s eyes. He’s slowly coming back to me.

“I’m going to struggle with this for a while,” he says, looking down at our intertwined hands. “But as long as you’re with me, I think I’ll make it out on the other side.”

I embrace him, pulling him into my chest and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “Just keep talking to me. Together, we’ll figure it out.”

He clings to me, head buried in my chest, and we stay like that for a while. Until finally, he shows his face, and I fall over onto the bed, suddenly overwhelmed by the emotional drain of the last twelve hours. Theo lays next to me, the two of us staring up at the ceiling.

I don’t know how long it takes us to doze off, but when Theo stirs against me, and I open my eyes again, the sunlight is shining from a different angle through the window.

“Hey,” he mutters sleepily, letting out a yawn that tugs at my heartstrings.

“Hi,” I say back, running my fingers through his bedhead. “So, can I ask you another clarifying question?”

Theo looks up at me with his big brown eyes, nodding slightly.

“When you left the other night, did it have anything to do with you not liking the way I looked with my shirt off?”

Theo chokes on a laugh. “Are you insane? Is that why you thought I left?”

I shrug. “It may have crossed my mind.”

“Caleb, that’s ridiculous. You’re, like, the hottest person I know.”

Warmth blooms under my cheeks, spreading across my face. “Shut up.”

Theo rolls onto his side, grinning at me. “I’m serious. You are so hot, I can’t even stand it sometimes.”

My face is on fire, and I cover it with my hands. “Oh my god, stop talking.”

There’s shifting on the bed and when I pull my hands away from my face, Theo’s is hovering above me, head inverted and a goofy smile spreading his lips. “No talking, huh? What do you propose we do instead?”

I reach up, wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck, and pull him down till the ends of his curls tickle my cheeks. “I’ve got a few ideas.”

Theo’s lips hit mine, and my heart skips a beat as he melts into the kiss. It’s an odd experience, kissing him upside down, but not unpleasant. The novelty doesn’t wear off as his hands cup the side of my face.

But soon, I want more of Theo, and I can’t reach him at this awkward angle, so I push him away only long enough for me to roll on my side and get my legs under me. He grins as I grip the front of his shirt, pulling him close.

“See? That was hot.”

“Shut up,” I say through a laugh, then kiss him again. His hands wrap around my waist, then slide under my t-shirt, and I shiver as his fingertips sink into my skin.

“Can I take it off?” he asks, lips moving against mine.

I nod, but a little too eagerly, and end up bumping noses with Theo. “Shit, sorry,” I apologize, my eyes watering.

“I’m good,” he laughs. “You?”

I swipe the end of my nose just to make sure there’s no blood. “I’m fine. Where were we?”

Theo grabs the hem of my shirt, lifting it slowly. I raise my arms above my head, and he pulls the shirt off, tossing it on the floor by the foot of the bed. He sits back on his ankles, his dark eyes trailing down my newly exposed body.

“You’re so beautiful, Caleb.”

Heat floods my face, dripping down the nape of my neck and trailing down my spine. And it’s like my body moves on its own, my hand pushing into Theo’s chest till he falls backward toward the headboard. I crawl on top of him, placing a knee on either side of his thighs as I bend down to kiss him again, my hands finding the fabric of his shirt as I pull it off of him so we’re finally skin-to-skin–

The sound of the door unlocking derails the action, and I roll off Theo, scrambling to get under the sheets.

“--imagine what the sound would have been? Like a bag of meat hitting the ground at a hundred miles an hour.”

Oliver freezes at the corner of the bathroom, Harrison just a step behind.

“What are you–oh.” Harrison throws a hand in front of his eyes. “Sorry, we’ll give you two a second.” He grabs Oliver by the elbow, dragging him back out into the hallway.

As soon as the door closes, I grab my shirt from the floor and pull it over my head. “Well, shit. I think we broke Oliver.”

Theo snorts a laugh, retrieving his own shirt. “He’ll be okay. In hindsight, we should have locked the door.”

My skin is still hot where Theo’s hands were just a moment ago, and I’m pretty sure both of us are going to need a minute to calm things down.

“Maybe it was for the best,” I say, reaching for Theo’s hand. “I don’t think either of us is in the best headspace to make decisions right now.”

His fingers interlock with mine. “You’re probably right. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to keep going.”

“Same,” I exhale, letting my head fall back onto the pillow. “So, maybe we can talk about it when we get back? Just to make sure we’re on the same page?”

Theo nods, giving my hand a squeeze. “We shouldn’t make the guys wait out there much longer.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” I pause, taking stock of my current situation. “Um… give me another minute? I need to do some long division or something.”

Theo smirks. “Practice your multiplication tables. That always works for me.”

I throw a pillow at him.

The ride back to Specter is a swirl of chatter. Elise takes on the role of the narrator, filling Theo and me in on everything we missed during the tour, which apparently, got cut way short. Wren and the tour guide got into a disagreement over some historical inaccuracies in the guide’s materials, which evolved into a full-blown shouting match in the lobby. Most of the tour group was on Wren’s side by the end of it, and the manager had to get involved to keep the peace.

“It’s like the guide hadn’t read a single pamphlet. I did get us free tickets to the haunted hor d'oeuvres event next month,” Wren says, capping off the story. “Ashley, maybe you can hawk them online.”

“I’ll try and convince your dad to take me down for a little getaway,” Ashley says, leaning over to Oliver. “It’ll give me a chance to cash in that babysitting coupon you got me for Christmas.”

“Wait, you’re actually going to use that?” Oliver questions, crossing his arms. “It was supposed to be more of a symbolic gesture.”

“Then you’ll watch the girls symbolically,” Ashley replies, elbowing him.

We hit a bump in the road, and Theo lets out a murmur in his sleep. I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure he said my name. He fell asleep on my shoulder about ten minutes into the ride. I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t woken from Elise’s shrieking laughter or the incessant buzzing of the phone in his pocket. I think for a moment about waking him up, but he looks so peaceful, and we’re only a few minutes away from Oliver’s house now. He can finish his nap.

“How are things?” Wren asks in a low voice while Elise continues to dominate the conversation in the front half of the van. “Did that knucklehead apologize to you?”

“Yes, and I apologized, too, for my part. We talked, and I think we’re at a good place now. At least, better than we were before.”

Wren nods, pulling out their phone and snapping a quick picture of Theo and me. “Cute. You two are good together. I’m glad that you figured it out.”

“Me too. Sorry for all the drama.”

“Oh, honey. Between you and Freddy, drama is what I’ve come to expect.”

“I haven’t heard from Freddy today. How do you think his weekend with Andrew went?”

“I’m sure the two of them will be as lovey-dovey as ever tomorrow. If Freddy falls any harder for that boy, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up with a ring on his finger by senior year.”

Wren cracks a smile, and I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous idea. Freddy may be making small steps in his relationship with Andrew, but he’s still Freddy. If they last through the summer, then I’ll be impressed.

“Are you free after school tomorrow?” Wren asks, still looking at their phone. “Even through all the bullshit, I managed to come up with a look I want to try out. The whole newlywed thing got my brain churning.”

“Yeah, for sure.”

“Bring Theo with you if he can make it. It’s about time I got to paint him again.”

“You can say that he’s your favorite canvas. You don’t have to be coy.”

Wren gives me a sly smile. “I’m not saying anything.”

The van pulls into Oliver’s neighborhood, and everyone goes quiet, the excitement of the trip finally sputtering out as we pull into the driveway.

I gently shake Theo, and his eyes flutter open. “Huh?”

“We’re back at Oliver’s,” I say, holding back a laugh at the dent my shoulder has left in his curls. “You nodded off and were too cute, so I let you sleep.”

Theo massages his neck. “Gee, thanks. I’ve always wanted to have a crooked spine.”

“It’ll match that crooked nose,” Elise quips before sliding out of the side door.

“Don’t listen to her,” I say, still riding the wave of affection. “I love your nose.”

“I love yours too,” Theo says, eyes still heavy-lidded.

“And I’d love to get out of here,” Wren says, banging on the seat in front of them. “Someone let me out!”

Harrison pulls the lever to fold the seat forward, and Wren escapes into the bright afternoon sun.

“Everyone, get your stuff!” Ashley yells, lifting the back gate.

“Theo, Caleb, your stuff is on top, so I’m going to toss it on Eileen,” Oliver says, helping Ashley unload.

“No worries,” Theo mumbles, stretching.

“Did you want to hang out for a bit before you go home?” I ask Theo, in no hurry to end our time together. “We can go back to my place.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Theo says, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “I should probably check in with my parents and let them know we made it back.” He pulls out his phone and his expression goes slack.

“Hey, Theo?”

Harrison’s head pokes through the open side door. “Your dad is here.”

“I guess that’s a no on the hanging out, then?” I ask, turning to Theo.

“Uh, Harry, can you stall my dad for a second?”

Harrison quirks an eyebrow but eventually nods. “Okay, sure.” After a second, his booming voice echoes through, “Mr. Briggs! Good to see you!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t be mad,” he says, stashing his phone back in his pocket. “But I told my parents that you weren’t coming on this trip.”

“What?”

“They would never have let me come!” Theo exclaims, looking over his shoulder. “What else was I supposed to say?”

“You should have told me, at least.” I bury my face in my hands. No. No way. This is starting all over again.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Theo’s voice is tight like he’s struggling to hold it together. “I’m going to make this up to you, Caleb. But right now, I have to go face my dad.” His hand is on my back one moment, and the next, it’s gone.

Slowly, I make my way out of the van. Wren is standing by their car, watching as Theo makes his way down the driveway to meet his dad. Harrison has done a good job keeping him occupied, so maybe I can run over and jump into Wren’s car before he sees me. Before I can take a step, Mr. Briggs’ voice calls out, “Caleb, would you mind joining us?”

Theo stops in his tracks, turning to look at me, his eyes wide. I try to give him a reassuring smile, willing my stiff legs forward till I’ve caught up to him, and we continue down the driveway to where Mr. Briggs and Harrison wait.

“I’m so sorry,” Theo whispers just out of earshot of his dad. I take his hand, giving a silent acknowledgment.

Theo’s Dad watches as we approach, his lips pulled tight. “Harrison, I’m going to need a moment with these two. Tell your folks they’re missed in my Sunday school class.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure thing, Mr. Briggs.” Harrison gives us a concerned look, then heads back up the driveway to where Elise, Wren, and Oliver have gathered by Wren’s car.

“Hey, Dad,” Theo greets his father, slapping on a smile. “Sorry I didn’t reply to your messages. I fell asleep on the way back.”

Mr. Briggs doesn’t respond, his attention focused squarely on me. I don’t think he’s ever looked at me for so long. I’ve gotten used to him pretending I don’t exist, and to be honest, I prefer it that way.

His expression shifts, morphing into a polite smile. “Caleb, I wasn’t aware that you were attending this little field trip. In fact, I’m certain that Kora told me that you had a family engagement.”

“I told her that,” Theo cuts in, taking a half-step in front of me. “I knew that you wouldn’t allow me to go if you knew Caleb would be there.”

Mr. Briggs’ pleasant expression doesn’t change. “And was this your idea, Caleb?”

“No,” I answer flatly. “I didn’t know about it until Theo told me just now.”

He gives a curt nod. “It strikes me as odd that Theo has always been truthful with us until you came into the picture, Caleb. Forgive my bluntness, but I have to assume it’s your influence on him.”

Theo opens his mouth, but I cut him off. “Maybe he wouldn’t feel the need to lie if you were more open and accepting.”

I can feel the tension radiating off of Theo as I square up with his dad.

“I accept my son for who God made him to be,” Mr. Briggs replies, a crack appearing in the pleasant facade. “And I will be here for him once he realizes that this little infatuation is nothing but a lie built on societal pressures.”

“Dad, stop. Don’t talk to him like that–”

“At least society didn’t shame him for being himself! That was all you.”

A vein appears on Mr. Briggs’ forehead, and Theo steps fully between the two of us. “Caleb, please stop. This isn’t helping.”

I know he’s right, but the anger in my gut is still roiling. His dad takes a deep breath, his faux smile returning as he speaks in a low voice. “Theo, you are to come straight home. Do you understand?”

Theo nods. “Yes, after I take Caleb home.”

“No, now, young man.”

“I’m taking my boyfriend home,” Theo argues, his tone taking on confidence. “Then I’ll be home, and we can talk.”

Mr. Briggs squares his jaw, giving another curt nod. He eyes me one last time before turning and getting into his car.

Once his dad pulls away, Theo deflates with an exhale, running a hand through his curls. “God, that was so bad.”

“I’m not sorry,” I say, my face still hot.

“You shouldn’t be,” Theo agrees. “He was out of line to talk to you like that. You didn’t have to defend me, though. This was all my fault.”

“I can’t help it. He just makes me so mad when he treats us like that. Yeah, you shouldn’t have lied to him, but it was only because your parents are unreasonable.”

“Are y’all okay?” Oliver calls from the porch. The others are there, too, minus Ashley, watching us with a mixture of concern and curiosity.

Theo gives them a thumbs up, then turns back to me. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“I can have Wren take me if you need to go.”

He shakes his head. “No, he needs time to cool off anyway. Besides, I get the feeling that the hammer's about to come down pretty hard on me, so I want to enjoy the time I have with you.”

“Fair enough.”

Theo gives me a weak smile, and we walk up the driveway, collecting our bags from where Oliver tossed them onto the hood of Eileen. My bag is upside down, so when Theo grabs it, a small box falls from the outside pocket, and I nearly choke as Theo picks up the box of condoms I had all but forgotten about.

“Don’t look at those!” I say, snatching the box from Theo’s hand and stuffing it into my hoodie pocket. A different heat flickers under my cheeks, spreading across my face. “I didn’t even know those were in there, I swear.”

“Then where did they come from?” Theo asks, a certain amusement in his voice that tells me he’s trying not to laugh.

“My parents,” I mutter, aware of our friends making their way down from Oliver’s porch. “We can talk about it in the car, but please don’t make this worse than it already is for me.”

“Everything okay?” Harrison’s voice announces their arrival, he and Elise hand-in-hand while Oliver and Wren look like they’re ready to pounce on someone at our order.

“Just my dad being my dad,” Theo says with a weak chuckle. “I’ve got to get home so he can yell at me. But this was really dope, guys. Sorry if I ruined the vibes last night.”

“S’okay,” Oliver replies, stepping forward to wrap Theo into a headlock. “As long as you two figured your shit out, then I’d say it wasn’t a complete bust.”

“You can make it up to me by letting me paint your face,” Wren adds, eyes narrowing at Theo. “Then maybe I’ll call it even.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Why is your face all red?” Elise asks, stepping in front of me and poking at the pocket of my hoodie.

“Nothing!” I half-shout, dodging a second poke and opening Eileen’s passenger door. “Come on, Theo. We don’t want to keep your dad waiting.”

Theo detaches himself from Oliver, giving Harrison a fist bump and waving to Wren and Elise before tossing our bags into the backseat. Once we’re both in the car and the engine is cranked, I let out the world’s longest sigh, kicking the seat back till I’m almost completely flat.

Theo laughs as he backs out of the driveway.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that my dad is happy pretending that we’re not dating while your parents assume we’re banging. It’s funny, right?”

Yeah. I guess it is.

But there’s an ache in my chest that the laughter doesn’t alleviate.