Theoretically Perfect (Theoretically Straight #2)

22. Theo

Caleb disappears up the stairs, and I stand with my hand on the door handle, frozen in the Raynards’ foyer. Grace and Dad’s voices seep through the door, clashing against one another, but I can’t seem to focus hard enough to understand their words.

This feels like a bad dream. My worst nightmare, really. Dad showing up, demanding that I break things off with Caleb–it’s what I’ve been dreading. But I didn’t think it would be today. Not here. This is the kind of stuff that happens in the movies, not in my life. The Raynards are practically strangers to Dad, which, in any other circumstance, would mean he should be at his most charismatic and friendly. He’s always been eager to befriend others, especially when he knows they’re not believers.

But this? This overtly hostile and confrontational behavior completely contradicts the man my father represents himself as. It goes against everything he’s supposed to believe in. If we were at home, that would be one thing. It’s not like what he’s saying is coming completely out of nowhere. I’ve been preparing for this outburst for months but never imagined it occurring anywhere outside of our living room.

The handle turns, and the door cracks open, letting Grace’s voice carry, “—might as well know that I’m bisexual, too! Should I go home and pack my things?”

“So, that’s where he learned it from. I knew sending you to that school was a mistake,” Dad retorts, his voice razor-sharp and biting. “You came home with all of that liberal nonsense and poisoned our home!”

I open the door, Dad and Grace both turning toward me, their faces different shades of red.

“Now it’s Grace’s fault?” I question, my words tinted with the anger building in my gut. “Why does it have to be someone’s fault, Dad? Why is this so difficult for you to understand? Nobody made me bisexual. That’s not how any of this works. And before you start down another tirade, it’s not your fault either. Grace and I accepting who we are doesn’t reflect poorly on you or Mom. Most people would say that means you’re a good parent.”

Grace wraps an arm around my shoulder. “Well said, little bro.”

Dad exhales a long breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Give me strength, Father.”

“Is everything all right?”

We all three turn to find Mom in the doorway now, her arms folded across her chest. Behind her, standing on the staircase, Nathaniel watches too. The whole Briggs family is here for the show.

“Dinner is ready,” Mom continues, her eyes trailing from Dad to Grace and finally landing on me. “What is everyone doing out here?”

“Having a discussion,” Dad says, lowering his voice as if he just realized where we are. “We’ll be done in a moment.”

Mom steps out onto the porch, her brow furrowed. “What kind of discussion?”

“About Theo’s behavior, Kora. I’m putting my foot down. We cannot allow this to go on any longer.”

“He’s telling me that I’m not allowed to date Caleb anymore,” I explain, earning a shocked look from Mom and a “What the fuck?” from Nate inside.

“ Language!” Dad shouts, his hand clenched into a fist by his side.

Mom moves to Dad’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Michael, this isn’t what we agreed on.”

“I’ve been patient long enough,” Dad says. “The time has come for action to be taken, and I will not allow my children to continue straying from the path. It is my duty as their father?—"

“Your duty is to love them, Michael.” Mom squares her shoulders, straightening her posture to full height. “The Word asks us to show compassion and understanding, or they will become discouraged.”

Grace snorts a laugh. “I think we’re a little past ‘discouraged,’ Mom. Dad is threatening to kick Theo out of the house if he doesn’t break things off with Caleb.”

Mom reels around, her eyes wide. I give her a small nod and she redirects herself towards Dad.

“ Michael .” Her voice trembles with rage. “What are you thinking?!”

“This isn’t open for debate,” Dad says, injecting as much sternness into his voice as he can muster. “I’ve only told Theodore what I am willing to do if he keeps ignoring our rules. If he keeps going down this road of sinful behavior–”

“You need to leave,” Mom cuts him off, stepping between us and Dad.

He blinks like he doesn’t believe his eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open.

“Kora?”

“I mean it, Michael. Get out of here. We will continue this discussion at home. I will not let you ruin Caleb’s birthday like this.”

Dad peers through the door where Nora and Bert are now standing in the foyer, and Caleb watches from the stairs with Nate. It must finally click that he’s making a scene because he reaches up to straighten his tie–a nervous habit–and clears his throat. “Fine. Theodore, say your goodbyes, and we’ll continue this at home.”

“Theo isn’t leaving,” Mom says, her voice taking on an edge I’ve rarely heard. “The rest of us are going to go inside and celebrate Theo’s boyfriend. I suggest you take that time to pray and seek wisdom because right now, you are seriously lacking.”

Grace snorts, covering her mouth.

“Kora,” Dad starts, reaching for her, but Mom smacks his hand away.

“I will be home after dinner, Michael. We can pick up this discussion then.”

Dad’s frown deepens as he looks over to me, a twist of pain in his expression. My chest squeezes, my pulse spiking, but then he’s walking away, and I allow myself a few steadying breaths.

Mom watches him get into his car and drive away, propping herself up on the railing. Grace goes to her side, whispering something in her ear. Mom’s lip begins to tremble as she nods, releasing a shuddered breath.

Nathaniel steps out onto the porch, turning to address the Raynards in the foyer. “We’re gonna need just a minute. Sorry.”

“Take your time,” Caleb’s voice trails through as Nate shuts the door.

Mom turns to look at me, tears brimming in her eyes, and I close the distance between us, wrapping her up in a hug. She embraces me, head resting on my shoulder as she lets out a choked noise.

“Thank you,” I tell her because I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never seen her stand up to my father like that. Not so directly. Sure, they’d have disagreements, but to assert herself like that? I know it took a lot of courage on her part.

She pushes me to arms’ length, her dark eyes locking onto mine. “I will never let him force you out, aroha. You will always be safe with me, do you understand?”

And I’m crying now too. Big, heavy tears roll down my cheeks as I cling to my mother. Nathaniel is on one side of me, a hand on my back, and Grace is on the opposite side, dabbing at the streaks of mascara running down her face with her sleeve. And it’s an incredible feeling, having (most of) my family surrounding me.

“Sorry Dad is such a dick,” Nate says, resting his forehead against my shoulder.

“Me too,” I say, a laugh breaking through the lump in my throat.

“Me three,” Grace chimes in.

“Thanks for sticking up for me, Grace. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t swoop in to save me.”

“Any time, bud. You know I’ll always go to bat for you.”

“Me too,” Nate adds. “Though, I’m not really great at talking. But I can stare at people and make them uncomfortable.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say, chuckling.

Mom releases her hold on me, letting me drift between my siblings. She wipes at her face, sniffling. “Poor Caleb, I feel awful about all of this. What he must be thinking of us.”

“I’m thinking about dinner,” Nate says, seemingly over the family bonding moment.

Grace, Mom, and I share another laugh, and it lessens that squeezing in my chest, allowing me to breathe a little easier.

“Come on,” I say, herding my family towards the door. “We’ve got a birthday to celebrate.”

Caleb’s family are probably the chillest people in all of Specter. They don’t ask questions when we come back inside, eyes bloodshot and noses running. Nana Lynn serves us a mouth-watering dinner of Caleb’s favorite foods–creamy pasta with vegetables and garlic bread–while entertaining us with stories of her many trips across the country, and the colorful characters that she’s met along the way. Nate ends up enamored by the older woman, hanging on each story like Caleb and I do with Triple H episodes. He doesn’t touch his Switch once during dinner.

Mom agrees to a glass of wine when it’s offered, which makes me and Grace exchange looks. Grace also accepts a glass, and Lola and her end up talking about recent school drama between their two campuses. Apparently, they each have a class with the same professor who got caught pulling pranks on his students from one school while dressed as the mascot from the other. It’s hard to imagine a sixty-year-old man wearing a panther costume while plastic-wrapping a toilet, but hey, to each their own.

And the best part is Caleb’s hand doesn’t leave mine for the entirety of the meal.

When Bert dims the lights, and Nana Lynn brings out the cake, with seventeen little candles blazing on top, I watch the flames dance in Caleb’s eyes as he leans over them, making an unspoken wish, and we all sing happy birthday in different keys.

And when the dishes are washed, and the adults have adjourned to the living room for more wine, Caleb, Nate, and I retreat to his room for Mario Kart. I laugh when Nate schools us both, and Caleb immediately demands a rematch, blaming an ill-timed blue shell for his defeat.

It’s almost enough to forget everything that happened with Dad.

Almost.

Mom comes upstairs after a while, knocking gently on the doorframe to announce her presence. “I’m heading home, aroha. Nate, Grace is going to take you over to Dante’s before she heads back to school. Come grab your stuff from the car.”

“Later, Caleb,” Nate says, sliding off the edge of the bed. “Let’s race again soon. Beating Theo over and over again gets boring.”

“You’re on,” Caleb says, waving as Nate ducks around his mother, disappearing down the hallway.

“Don’t worry about curfew tonight, Theo, but let me know when you’re headed home, please. I’m sure your father and I will just be getting started by then.”

“Thank you for coming, Kora,” Caleb says, giving one of those smiles that makes my stomach flip. “The cake was amazing.”

“You’re most welcome, honey. I’m sure it goes without saying, but I’m very sorry for my husband’s behavior. It breaks my heart that he refuses to see the love the two of you share.”

I get up from my spot on the floor, crossing the room to wrap her up in a hug. “That means so much, Mom. Really.”

She sniffles when she pulls away, ducking her chin to try and hide the tear she wipes away. “Have a good night, and I’ll see you in the morning, aroha. ”

“Good night, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, Theo.”

“We’ll be back later, Mom!”

Caleb shuts the front door behind him, skipping down the porch stairs to join me on the sidewalk, taking my hand in his.

We walk past Nana Lynn’s RV, climbing into Eileen and I crank up the engine, plugging in my phone and picking the perfect playlist.

“Where do you want to go?” I ask Caleb, one hand on the wheel, the other planted on his knee.

His wicked smile shines in the dim light. “Somewhere dark, preferably.”

We settle on the park not too far from Caleb’s neighborhood. The parking lot is empty this time of night, and I pull into the last row, shutting off the lights but leaving the music playing.

“How are you doing?” Caleb asks me, his hand covering mine on the gear shift. “I know that stuff with your dad was a lot.”

“Is it weird to say that I’m surprisingly okay? It’s like I’ve been dreading this moment for so long that now it’s finally happened, there’s this sense of relief to go along with all the anxiety. I’m just glad the rest of my family was there. I’m so lucky to have them.”

“I’m glad they were, too,” Caleb says, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. “Because Nana would totally have fought your dad if Kora hadn't stepped in. Freddy and I had a bet going.”

“That would have been epic. I would totally have put money on Nana Lynn. Dad’s too proper to hit a lady.”

It feels weird talking about Dad after everything that happened. I wonder how his and Mom’s discussion is going. Something tells me that he may be sleeping on the couch by the time I get home.

“I brought something,” Caleb says, rustling through the messenger bag by his feet.

And my heart is suddenly racing because I’m worried that he’s about to pull out that square little box, and I don’t know if I’m ready for what all that entails–

“I haven’t had a chance to read any of them yet, so I figured I’d do it while you’re here with me. You know, for maximum cringe.”

He shows me the journal I gave him yesterday, and a different heat starts to build under my skin. “You really don’t have to read that–”

Caleb raises an eyebrow. “Oh, you think I’m going to let you get away with writing a song for me without a little bit of teasing? It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

“Kill me,” I mutter under my breath.

After turning on the overhead light, he flips open the book, stopping at the first song, and I watch him as his eyes drift along the lyrics. He smiles, one of those soft, understated smiles that are my favorite because they make his eyes crinkle at the edges.

“Fuck, Theo, this is actually really good.”

“Wow, don’t sound so surprised.”

“T-That’s not what I meant,” Caleb stutters, backpedaling.

And I’m laughing, because teasing him is another of my favorite things. He shifts in his seat, the skin along his cheekbones brightening to match the color of his shirt.

“You’ve never shown me any of your writing before,” he continues, eyes still locked on the page.

“I haven’t really shared them with anyone,” I admit, unfastening my seat belt. “So, I honestly have no idea if they’re any good. But it felt like the right thing to do since you’re the reason behind those songs.”

Caleb nods slowly, flipping the page as he dives into the next one. And I’m happy just watching, taking in the little changes in his expression as he makes it through the half a dozen songs I penned over the last few months. I resist the urge to ask him what he thinks of each one as he moves through them, anxious energy building till he hits a blank page and turns to look at me finally.

My heart sinks as he hands me the notebook, and for a split second, I wonder how I messed up badly enough that he doesn’t even want to hold onto–

“I want more.”

“What?”

“I want you to fill it,” he says, pushing the notebook closer. “Every page. And not just songs about me. I want all of it. All of your experiences, all of your troubles, every bit that makes you the boy that I love more than anything, Theo. I want you.”

I take the notebook with a trembling hand. “It may take me a while.”

Caleb grins. “We’ve got time.”

My heart swells, my breath catching in my throat. I can’t believe that he’s here. That he’s real. My boyfriend. My Caleb.

And his hands are on me before I can say anything else, cupping the side of my face as he leans over the armrest and kisses me. My anxiety dulls, the buzzing in my stomach melting with the heat of his kiss. The notebook falls onto the floorboard as my fingers grasp at his shirt, hooking between the buttons and grazing the warm skin underneath.

He groans into my mouth, and it’s like lightning strikes the base of my spine, spreading fire through my veins.

“Back seat?” I ask, my hand drifting up to extinguish the light overhead.

Caleb nods emphatically, stepping up onto the seat in a crouch, then falling back onto the bench seat. His legs spread wide as he lands, arms outstretched to me, calling me to him. And I’m there in a flash, my knees sinking into the space between his legs as I brace myself against the back headrests before leaning down to kiss him again.

I shudder as his hands run along my thighs, curling around my waist and anchoring me there. His lips drift from mine, trailing down my jawline till they reach my neck, drawing out a gasp as teeth scrape against my flesh.

“Caleb,” I whisper because his name is the only thing that makes sense right now, and my brain is on fire as he moves down toward my collarbone. I pull away long enough to remove my shirt, and Caleb wastes no time kissing his way down to my chest, hot breath sending chill bumps across my skin.

He pulls me closer, fingers sinking into my waist. His legs squeeze together, pressing into mine, and it only takes a second for me to understand what he wants. I lift myself off of him, positioning my knees on either side as I straddle his lap. When I lower myself back down, his eyes roll back, and I let out a sigh at the friction between us.

“Theo.” My name on his lips is sweet honey, and I eat it up, kissing him again and again till my head is spinning and there’s sweat on my brow, and all I want to do is remove any barrier between him and me.

“Hang on,” Caleb huffs, pulling away from me with an exhale. His chest is heaving as he stares up at me with half-lidded eyes, the lights from the dashboard reflected in them. “I need a second.”

We detangle ourselves, retreating to our respective sides of the car, lucidity slowly sinking back in with each ragged breath.

“You’re too hot,” Caleb says, knocking his knee against my shoe.

“Shut up, you are.”

He snorts a laugh, pulling at his jeans to relieve what I assume is discomfort. I do the same, neither of us willing to acknowledge it.

“Do you think it’ll always be like this?” I ask after we’ve had a second to catch our breath. “I can’t imagine ever not wanting to make out with you.”

Caleb shrugs, a sly grin spreading across his lips. “Maybe once we have post-nut clarity to thank, it’ll get easier.”

My breath catches, and we’re both laughing, if only to keep the tension from ripping through us like a knife.

“Do you…” I stop, trying to organize the words before I say something I will regret. “Want to keep going? It is your birthday, after all.”

Caleb watches me, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. But then he shakes his head, curls bouncing. “Maybe not tonight.”

“Oh, okay.” Embarrassment scorches my already burning face.

“Not that I don’t want to!” Caleb says quickly, a hand on my knee. “It’s just–today was a lot, and I don’t want us to rush into anything because emotions are high.” He looks down at his hands. “Sorry, I know this is difficult for you. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” My hand wraps around his, pulling him forward till our foreheads are pressed together. “Don’t say you’re sorry for being the most considerate boyfriend anyone could ask for.”

Caleb snorts a laugh, his free hand cupping the side of my face as he plants a gentle kiss on my lips. “I love you so much, Theo.”

“I love you, too.”

“Will you text me when you get home?”

Caleb doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to get out of the car, even though it’s well past midnight and we’ve been sitting in his driveway for half an hour. My playlist has started over at this point, and I hum along to the song as I twist my fingers through Caleb’s curls.

“Yeah, of course.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he says, his voice almost a whisper. “I wish you could just stay with me tonight instead of going back to your dad.”

A twinge squeezes in my chest. “Me too.”

“That wasn’t what I wished for on my cake, though,” Caleb continues, eyes heavy-lidded and words slurring together with drowsiness.

“What did you wish for?”

“Jus’ you.” He blinks slowly, his breathing steady like he’s just on the edge of nodding off. “I wished for you to still be here for my next birthday.”

The squeeze in my chest blooms with heat. “I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him, leaning in to kiss the top of his head, burying my nose in his copper curls. “I promise.”

The downstairs lights are on when I pull up to my house. It’s a little after one, and I’m already dreading my alarm going off tomorrow for school, but that worry quickly fades as the reality of the last few hours settles in.

Dad threatened to kick me out. Everyone else in the family rallied around me. Mom stood up to Dad in a way I’ve never seen before. But what was I about to walk into? What kind of compromise would Mom be able to convince Dad of? It’s not like he’s going to change his mind in a matter of hours.

I pull out my phone opening the group message. It’s been quiet since Caleb’s party Saturday, the fractures of our friend group evident in the silence. I switch over to Caleb’s number, typing out the message–

Theo

made it home. Here’s hoping I still have a place to sleep. (Just kidding)

i’ll update you in the morning. Goodnight, babe.

Caleb doesn’t reply after a few minutes, and I assume he’s long asleep by this time. I shut off the engine, and there’s nothing left to do but face the music, so I make my way to the front door, finding it unlocked.

It’s quiet inside. Mom’s purse hangs on the rack by the door, but I notice Dad’s keys are missing.

Weird.

“Theo?”

Mom’s voice drifts in from the kitchen, and I hold my breath, waiting for Dad to call out next, but it stays quiet.

I kick off my shoes and then move down the hall into the warm light of the kitchen. Mom sits at the breakfast table, still in the floral dress from before, her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. A cup of coffee sits in front of her, still full, another half pot waiting on the counter. It looks cold. Like she’s been sitting there for a while.

“Hey, Mom.”

She looks up, shadows exaggerating the dark circles under her eyes.

“I’m glad you’re home, aroha. ”

“Where is Dad?” I ask, looking over my shoulder as if I expect him to pop out from around the corner at any moment.

“We decided it was best that he spend the night elsewhere,” she answers, her voice gruff.

“You kicked him out?”

“Something like that,” she says with the hint of a smile. “You know how stubborn he can be. It’ll take some time for him to come around.”

“W-What if he never does?” I ask, voicing the question I’ve been harboring for the last eight months. My voice trembles. “What happens then?”

“Come here,” Mom says, standing up and reaching for me. She pulls me into a tight hug, resting her chin on my shoulder. “You are loved, aroha. You are safe here. Okay?”

I nod, my throat too thick to speak.

“I’m sorry, Theo. I’m sorry for how long I let your father intimidate you. I’m… working through a lot of things myself when it comes to my relationship with him. He’s not in a place to talk about what needs to change right now, so he’s going to spend some time away till he can show me that he’s ready.

“And, if he decides that he can’t… then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

There’s a fear laced between her words that sinks into my gut, an uncertainty that takes root and fuels the buzzing anxiety that thrums in my veins.

“It’s my fault,” I say, squeaking the words out around the restriction in my throat. “God, I’m going to break the whole family apart, Mom.”

She takes me by the shoulders, a sudden intensity in her demeanor. “ Aroha , no . Don’t say that. Your father may be doing what he thinks is right, but don’t for a second believe that places the blame on you. He is the only one responsible for his actions, just as the rest of us are. And I hope, and I pray every day that his heart will change as you and Caleb have changed mine, but if that doesn’t happen, if he comes back unchanged, then I will do what I have to keep this family safe.”

I dab at the tears that leak from the corner of my eyes. “Are you–are you saying that you’re okay with me being bi?”

“I love every bit and piece of you, Theo. And what you feel for Caleb is just as much a part of you as the hair on your head. Who am I to condemn what God has so clearly given you?”

More tears come because this is all I’ve wanted to hear from my parents since I first realized what was happening between Caleb and me.

“Thank you,” I whisper, pulling her close again. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” It’s both a prayer and a statement of gratitude.

“I am so proud of you, Theo. No matter what happens, I hope you’ll know that.”

And the tears keep coming till we’re both exhausted, and the night grows thin, and there’s nothing left to do but go to sleep.