Three to Fall (Saint View Slayers vs. Sinners #3)

14. Kara

14

KARA

H ayden kissed my neck and fit himself behind me, waking me up sweetly and gently, morning sun streaming through my bedroom window.

I ground my ass back against him, loving the feel of him hard behind me, and his warm hands trailing over my bare skin. He flattened his palm on my belly and rubbed slow circles there, while his breath misted across my shoulders. “I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”

I shook my head. “Me neither. Last night feels like a daze.” I reached for the test on the nightstand and checked the little display window again. I held it up so Hayden could see it over my shoulder. “It still says pregnant.”

He chuckled and plucked it from my fingers, putting it back where I’d found it. “How many times during the night did you look at that thing?”

I laughed softly. “At least three. Sorry. I tried to be quiet about it. Will you take me to get some more pregnancy tests today? Just in case that one is wrong?”

A sick fear swirled in my stomach at the very thought that maybe it was a false positive. If I hadn’t peed on the stick myself and watched it react, I would have accused Queenie of rigging it, just to get me to stay.

But I’d been there. That test was so very positive it was impossible to deny.

I put my hand over Hayden’s on my belly, pressing his hand tight to my skin. “I so want this to be real.”

He rolled me over so I was facing him, his beautiful eyes focused solely on me. “Hey. It is real. You aren’t dreaming. You’re having a baby.” He grinned. “Not sure how I didn’t notice your tits are bigger.”

I stared down at them excitedly. “Seriously? Do you think so? I have no pregnancy symptoms. No morning sickness or tiredness.” I just wanted some sign to tell me the test hadn’t gotten my hopes up for no reason.

Hayden slid down the bed to bury his face in the plump swells of my breasts. “Trust me, I spend a lot of time every day memorizing each curve of your body. I can see the differences.”

I was sure he was pulling my leg. I was probably very early pregnant, and that was the most likely reason why I hadn’t noticed. In a few weeks I’d probably have my head over the toilet bowl every morning.

I grinned at the thought. I couldn’t wait.

Something inside me was so victorious. Healed by this tiny baby growing inside me. I’d spent five years feeling so incredibly broken and sad. Robbed of the chance to ever be a mother, first by men who took my child from me, and then by my own body.

I allowed myself a tiny bit of hope. A quick daydream of bringing this baby home to an extended family who loved it, and men who would fight tooth and nail to keep me and my children together.

Everything about the first time was so wrong. Wrong man. Wrong time. Wrong place.

And yet I wouldn’t be here now, with my beautiful daughter, three men who loved me, and a second child on the way if it hadn’t been for all the heartache.

Suddenly, I knew I wouldn’t change my past, even if I could.

How could I, when changing something back then would mean I wasn’t here right now?

My mind whirled with everything that needed to happen next. “We need to go to the doctor. Get scans done. Blood tests.”

Hayden nodded. “First thing Monday. But until then, while Hayley Jade is still at Rebel’s place…”

His dick slid between my legs and slowly up inside me.

I murmured a sigh of pleasure and hooked my leg over his, opening myself up and drawing him closer.

Thumps came from the door. “Quit fucking and get out here. Grayson’s here. Says we have to study for the GED.”

I groaned, Hayden buried inside me to the hilt and my pussy throbbing around him, not nearly satisfied. “Tell him I’ll be there in a minute.”

Hawk’s voice was practically a growl. “No minutes. I need you out here now because if I know what you’re doing in there, I’m going to come in and join you. We all know I’m lasting a whole lot longer than Hayden ‘limp dick’ Whitling. We don’t have time to fuck all day. The GED isn’t waiting for your libidos to be satisfied.”

Hayden flipped off the door, but his gaze and words were for me. “As much as I’d love to keep you in here, tied to my bed until the sun goes down, he’s right. With the baby coming, you’re both going to need to get as much studying done as you can. It’s going to be harder when he’s here and so fucking cute we just want to snuggle him all day.”

“Him?” I asked with a gentle smile. “Grayson seemed pretty convinced it was a girl last night.”

“Hayley Jade has been my girl since the day she was born. It needs to be a boy. I can’t imagine loving another little girl the same way.”

I kissed his lips softly. “You would.”

“Mmmm. But I do think it’s a boy. Do you have a preference?”

I shook my head quickly.

Except in my heart, I knew that was a lie.

There was a tiny part of me that was terrified of having a boy for the sole reason that if Josiah ever found out, it would give him all the more reason to come after me.

If this baby was a boy, he could try claiming it as his. His followers wouldn’t ask for a paternity test. All they would care about was Josiah’s first wife had finally born his heir.

I didn’t voice my fears. Didn’t want to burden any of the guys with the dangerous thoughts rattling around inside my brain.

It was trauma talking. Fear. Anxiety.

I pressed my hand to my belly harder.

Nobody was taking this baby away from me. Not this time. Not for one minute.

S howered and dressed, Hayden and I emerged from his bedroom twenty minutes later to find Grayson, Hawk, and oddly, Kyle, sitting at the big common room table in the Slayers’ clubhouse.

Papers, textbooks, and laptops were spread all over the tabletop in a messy array, pens and highlighters everywhere the eye could see.

Kyle stood as I entered the room. “Hi, Kara. How are you feeling today? Can I get you a tea?”

Hawk eyed him lazily. “She’s feeling like you should quit brown-nosing and keep writing out those study notes.” Then he leaned back on his chair to reach out and grab the long fabric of my flowy skirt. “Hey, Little Mouse. You want a tea?”

I giggled and nodded, rolling my eyes when Hawk shouted for one of the prospects to bring out a mug rather than getting up to get it himself.

“What?” he asked when he saw the look on my face. “I’ve got studying to do. And so do you. Don’t give me a hard time for using the resources I have. That’s just good time management.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh. Time management, huh? That’s why Kyle is writing notes for you?” I leaned over the table and kissed Grayson sitting beside the younger man. “Hi, you.”

He cupped the side of my face. “Hi, beautiful.”

Hawk glared at him.

I squinted. “Really? After last…” I remembered Kyle was in the room and didn’t need to know every detail of what Hawk, Hayden, Grayson, and I had done last night. “After everything, you’re getting cranky with him for touching me?”

Hawk shook his head. “I’m not cranky. I’m pissed he didn’t stick up for me and tell you Lyle here isn’t taking notes for me.”

Kyle cleared his throat. “Um. It’s Kyle…”

Hawk glared at him. “I think now it’s Pile. As in pile of shi—”

I gave him a disapproving look. “Be nice. For once.”

He rolled his eyes and patted Kyle none too gently on the back. “ Kyle has decided to take the GED with us.”

“You have? That’s great, Kyle!” I raised my hand for a high five.

He slapped it back super gently, with a fearful glance at Hawk, like if he hit me too hard Hawk might have his head.

Which to be fair, was probably not far from the truth.

I doubted Hawk was ever going to lose his overprotective ways, even if we had let other men into our bed.

I settled into a chair, and Grayson ran over some of the material with all three of us. To Hawk’s credit, he took the study session way more seriously than I thought he would, and I smiled, watching him ask Grayson for help with one question, and the two of them with their heads together, talking through the problem together.

They figured it out and my heart squeezed at the bright smile that lit up both their faces.

Grayson was a natural-born teacher, excited and eager to help us, and Hawk had found a focus I’d never seen in him before.

I could practically see the daydreams of becoming an EMT or a paramedic dancing in front of his eyes. Having a real ability to help people when they were at their lowest.

I wanted that too, but without the pressure of an emergency situation. Hawk would thrive on that. But I didn’t need that level of stress.

Hours passed with me diligently taking notes on a notepad because I didn’t have much experience with computers, and it felt like more hassle than it was worth to try to learn right then and there. Smells wafted from the kitchen, and we all started getting distracted as they grew stronger.

Hawk grumbled beneath his breath. “Ugh, he’s making chili, isn’t he? If he tells us it’s for the restaurant tonight and not for us to eat right now, I’m going to have to end this relationship.”

Grayson put his highlighter down. “Very dramatic of you.”

“You haven’t tasted his chili. It’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever eaten. He made his own recipe, and I swear, the thing should have earned him at least two Michelin stars, it’s that delicious. And he does this side of mashed potatoes with rosemary and garlic and…”

Gray listened with a small smirk lifting the corners of his mouth.

Hawk finally quit going on about Hayden’s food and threw an eraser at Grayson’s face. “Shut up.”

Gray laughed. “I didn’t say a word.”

“You didn’t have to. Your face said plenty.”

“I’m just glad the two of you got your shit together enough to be happy.”

“Me too,” I added. “You and Hayden are really good together.”

A blush crept up Hawk’s neck, but he tried covering it by dragging me onto his lap. “Not as good as me and you. Should we show everyone exactly how good we are together, Little Mouse?” He rocked me over his lap just enough for me to feel the slight hardening of his cock. “Show everyone here how hot it gets when you ride my cock with your tits in my face.”

Kyle’s chair scraped back over the polished concrete floors, and he stood, gathering up his papers in a hurry. “I should go. I can finish studying in my cabin.”

Hawk grinned around me. “Sit, Kyle.”

Kyle sat back on the seat like a well-trained dog. “Yes, sir.”

I elbowed Hawk behind me. “Stop. You’re traumatizing him.”

Poor Kyle looked like a deer caught in the headlights, no idea which way to turn.

Hawk leaned back in his chair, taking me with him so I was leaning on his chest as Hayden wandered out with big plates full of food.

Kyle gratefully pounced on a bowl, but Hawk wasn’t done teasing him. “You got a girlfriend, kid?”

Kyle shook his head. “No, sir.”

Hawk rolled his eyes at the sir title but didn’t correct him, clearly more interested in digging into Kyle’s personal life. “You’re out in the big, wide world now. Don’t you want to…sample a little of what’s on offer?”

Kyle shook his head quickly. “I’m fine here.”

“You’re hiding.”

I slapped Hawk’s leg. “You told him he had to stay here until you trusted him! He hasn’t left the compound once since he arrived!”

Hawk tilted his head to one side. “Did I?”

Everyone else nodded.

Hawk grinned. “Oops. My bad. Damn. So what, you haven’t gotten laid in like, weeks?”

A blush crept up Kyle’s neck. “I haven’t gotten laid ever, sir.”

Hawk sat up straighter. “Wait. What? You’re a virgin? Aren’t you like twenty?”

“Nearly.”

Hayden put a bowl of food in Hawk’s hand. “Leave the kid alone. It’s not a big deal to be a virgin at twenty.”

“Like hell it’s not!” Hawk protested. “Kyle. Seriously. Do you have any idea what you’re missing? The sweet heat of a pussy wrapped around your cock. Your woman’s clit on your tongue. Her screaming your name while you bend her over a table and take her hard and fast from behind…”

His dick was so hard beneath me, I had to fight to keep my breath even at the very thought of having him bend me over a table.

Grayson leaned back and smiled at Kyle, whose face was starting to resemble a tomato. “Being a virgin at your age is nothing to feel ashamed of. If you aren’t ready—”

“I’m ready,” Kyle cut in quickly.

Hawk laughed, slapping a palm down on the tabletop. “Kid is horny as fuck. Don’t worry, we take care of our family here. We’ll get you a girl.” He twisted around toward the hallway. “Amber! Kiki! Fancy!”

My mouth dropped open. “Fancy! Hawk, she’s got to be sixty years old! She’s War’s mother! Are you trying to get Kyle killed?”

Hawk was clearly finding himself hilarious. And I had to admit, the expression on Kyle’s face was funny. I’d come to learn this sort of teasing was normal within these walls. All the men did it, paying out on each other for laughs. I’d begun to realize it was how they showed affection. Though Grayson with his PhD in psychiatry would surely have something to say about how unhealthy that was.

Thankfully, none of the women appeared to be home, and Hawk held up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. Probably a bit much for one of the club girls to be your first. Or War’s mom.”

Kyle’s face was pale. “I don’t mean any disrespect to Ms. Fancy, but…”

I squeezed my eyes shut at Kyle and just shook my head. He just needed to be quiet right now and not give Hawk any more fodder.

Hayden cleared his throat, a hint of understanding in his tone. “Kyle, if you want to find someone, you aren’t limited to the women who hang out here. Get on one of the dating apps.”

Hawk didn’t try to hide his groan of disgust. “Whatever happened to going to a bar and just going home with some smokeshow? Or not even getting that far? Just fucking her right there in the parking lot…”

I raised an eyebrow. “Really? Is that how you want your future son-in-law to treat Hayley Jade when she’s old enough?”

Hawk’s eyes darkened. “I will gut and kill any man who even peeks at her in a bar. Or on the street. Or… Ever.”

I rolled my eyes. “Great, so we’ll just be blindfolding the entire male population once she turns sixteen, will we?”

Grayson paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth. “It’s not a bad idea.”

Hawk nodded in agreement. “I see no problem with that.”

“Me neither, just saying.” Hayden seemed like he was in pain at the very thought of Hayley Jade dating someday.

Poor kid. With the three of them in her life, she was never going to be able to meet a boy.

But it was also a little bit cute.

“Can we get back to the idea of Kyle dating?” I changed the subject. “One of those dating apps doesn’t seem like a bad idea. It’s hard to meet nice people.”

Hawk snorted. “I’m laughing at you thinking you might meet ‘nice’ people on one of those apps. Nice for a night, maybe.”

I ignored him and focused on Kyle, who really was looking at me like I was a lifeline. He was clearly lonely, and I felt awful for not seeing it sooner. I’d been so wrapped up in my own problems, I hadn’t even noticed he’d been isolating himself, not even coming up to the clubhouse. He’d spent his last few teenage years inside one prison, and we’d basically locked him in another with no one else his age. He didn’t know a single person in this state, other than the people inside this clubhouse. “Ignore them. Download an app. Meet some people. You don’t have to…um…do more with them if you don’t want to.”

Kyle pulled his phone out of his pocket and ran his thumb over the screen, scrolling. “I don’t even know which one is good.”

Hawk shrugged, leaning over to peer at his screen. “Fuck, why are there so many? Just download any of them. Wait. Just use that one. It says it’s already on your phone.”

Kyle screwed up his face. “No, it’s not.”

Hayden took a peep over his shoulder when Kyle held it out to him. “App store says otherwise.”

Kyle’s eyebrows knit together in confusion as he stabbed at the screen. “I swear, I’ve never seen that app before. It’s not on my phone.”

He’d piqued my interest now too, and I got off Hawk’s lap to peer over Kyle’s shoulder. There was no dating app on the main screen, but there were a number of folders. I pointed at the search bar. “Just search the app name. Maybe your phone came preloaded with it.”

He nodded, putting in the app name in the search bar.

It popped up instantly.

Hawk slung his arm around the back of Kyle’s chair. “Who have you been swiping right on?” He squinted. “Or is it swiping left? I don’t know.”

“I haven’t been swiping on anything, I swear.” Kyle shook his head, clearly thoroughly confused.

Hayden patted him on the shoulder. “Then why do you have an account already logged in?”

We were all crowded around him by this point. But Kyle seemed completely bewildered.

“I honestly have no idea. There’s a bunch of chats here and everything, but they’re all usernames. No legal names.” He held the phone out. “Here. Look. It’s weird.”

Hayden took it, scrolling through the pages of private messages. “You aren’t TulipRose1254?”

Kyle made a face at him. “Last I checked, no.”

Hayden passed the phone to Grayson with a shrug. “I don’t get it then. What is all this?”

Grayson raised an eyebrow. “And you think I get dating apps?”

Hawk sniggered. “There’s a doctor, two ex-cult members, a biker, and an ex-gang leader sitting at this table. Out of all of us, who do we think is going to be most likely to understand a dating app?”

We all turned to stare at Grayson.

“Yeah, okay fine. Let me see it.” He took the phone, glanced at the screen and then back at Kyle. “You definitely have an account set up under the name TulipRose. If that’s not you, then someone has been using your phone. Your mom maybe?”

Kyle screwed up his face. “Oh, absolutely not. Come on. She’s one hundred years old and married.”

“She’s maybe forty-five, Kyle,” I corrected. Though I totally understood how much older parents seemed when you were a teenager without any kids of your own. Having a baby and getting older yourself changed that mentality. Fact was, forty-five wasn’t even close to old, and Kyle’s mom very well could have been using his phone to contact a lover on the outside. She’d allowed Kyle to keep a secret phone, even though they were banned at Ethereal Eden. She clearly wasn’t as devoted to the rules as they made out.

But Kyle adamantly shook his head. “My mom wouldn’t do that to my dad. And she never had my phone that I know of. But…” He glanced at me.

“What? I didn’t take your phone.”

“No. But Alice did. A lot.”

Shock punched me in the stomach, but at the same time, this suddenly made a lot more sense. The day we’d fled from Ethereal Eden in Kyle’s truck, Alice had asked Kyle to use his phone. She’d known the password, and it was clear to me even then that it hadn’t been her first time using the device. She’d been too familiar with it, putting in the code and tapping her fingers across the screen confidently.

I took the phone from Grayson’s hand and scrolled through the pages and pages of texts. Here and there were messages from random usernames, but mostly, TulipRose talked with one other user.

I tapped on one of her chats with GoldenDreams and skimmed over the paragraphs of text.

In my head, it was Alice’s voice I heard reading them out loud. “Alice wrote these. They sound just like her.”

My gaze snagged on one message, dated the same day we’d left Ethereal Eden. The message opened up.

Alice’s message stopped me dead, the phone tumbling from my fingers and crashing onto the tabletop face up for everyone to see.

TulipRose:

We’re here. I’m so excited. I can’t wait to meet you.

Golden:

Sneak away as soon as you can. Meet me at Sixth Street in the city. It’s a club. I can’t wait to meet you either.

I stared at the phone in horror and then up at the men sitting around me. “She was meeting someone the night she was murdered.”

Grayson swallowed thickly. “What are the odds of being murdered by someone you know?”

Hawk pressed his lips together. “Way higher than being murdered by a complete stranger.” He glanced at me, but I already knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“We might have the text messages Alice sent her killer.”