Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

6. Alana

CHAPTER 6

Alana

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur. Everyone around me is moving through their day, getting last minute deadline pieces in and I feel like I’m watching them in a haze. At some point, I look up at the clock on my computer and realize it’s 4:45 p.m. A pang of guilt hits me as I realize I accomplished absolutely nothing today. It grows heavier when I think about everything I need to get done before we leave for Paris, but I force the feeling down and roll my chair back. Standing and stretching my legs brings some clarity to the fog I’m in and I give my back a little twist before walking just next door to Cami’s cube.

“What are you working on?” I ask, leaning against the side of her desk.

“Hey girl.” She smiles up at me. “I haven’t heard a peep from your station in a few hours. You okay?” Her concerned eyes find mine and I smile back at her.

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s been a long day,” I answer, running my hands through my hair and brushing through the tangles.

“Okay good, I haven’t left my desk in hours.” She stands with a groan and does the same stretching maneuver I just completed. “I’ve been trying to get this shoot organized all day and I feel like I am still right where I started.”

Cami is one of the beauty assistant editors for Impress . She researches trends, comes up with ideas for pieces we can write on makeup and beauty products, and puts together shoots for them. She also gets to go to trainings for brands and the amount of products that get sent to her every week is enough to bring the jealousy out in any person.

“Are you still up for margs?” I ask as she starts to pack up her things.

“How could I say no to quesadillas and tequila? Just give me a few minutes to get everything together and we can head out. Charlie said he would meet us there.”

I step back into my cubicle and glance around at the state of disarray. My fingers itch to clean it up, but I don’t have the time or energy to do that right now, so I grab my things and turn my back to the mess. I notice Alex moving around at his desk next to me, most likely getting his things together as well. Sometimes he stays late, but he typically leaves right around five like most people in the office. Healthy work/life boundaries and all that good stuff. I usually don’t leave before six on a good day, but I can’t be in this building for another hour today.

I realize after a few seconds that I’m staring and watching him, but the way his muscles flex and move against his button up make it hard to look away.

I’m not quite sure what is going on with me. I haven’t ever looked at Alex like this before, but after his kindness during my freak out earlier, my body seems to be drawn to his. Like it’s searching for the comfort he provided only hours ago.

He must feel my stare, because he looks up and meets my eyes, flashing a quick smile in my direction before continuing whatever he is doing. I avert my eyes quickly and resume staring at the mess in front of me.

You know how sometimes when a space gets so untidy, it’s almost impossible to make the first move to begin to clean it up? That is how I feel. It’s infuriating, because I cannot function in a mess, but I also can’t gather the strength to start to pick it up.

Alex must notice my inner turmoil, because he turns and walks slowly into the disaster zone.

There are papers everywhere from where I’ve just dropped them after meetings. There is a half eaten banana sitting on the counter, a few water bottles, papers that need filing and various knick knacks that lie around everywhere.

I try to keep my space clean because it keeps my mind clean. I like organization, order and planning. However, the last week before a deadline always gets crazy and things just start to pile up. Typically when it’s this bad, I’d spend a day like today getting my life together, but I’ve been too busy recovering from the panic attack and overthinking.

Alex pulls my attention from the mess when his hand softly lands on my shoulder. He pulls it gently back toward him, spinning me slowly so I’m facing him.

“The mess stressing you out?” he asks with a kind smile in his eyes.

Obviously Alex knows me pretty well after working with me closely for a year, but I’m just now noticing how he seems to be able to read me like a book. During the meeting with Heather and Ian, in the break room, and now this.

My eyelashes flutter as I look up at him, his six-foot-five frame towering over me.

“You know how it is right before a deadline,” I reply with a shrug, trying not to focus on his hand that still rests on my shoulder.

He nods slightly and then slowly slides his hand down my arm and places his hand in mine. I know it isn’t intended to be romantic, but it sure as hell feels like it is. My skin burns under his touch.

“We’re going to get everything sorted, Lanie,” he says softly for only my ears. There’s that nickname again. “I’m here to help however I can.” He squeezes my hand three times, releases it, and turns to go back to his cube.

I am frozen. I’m not sure if it’s from his kind words, his hand in mine, the way he looked into my eyes with assurance, or that nickname he’s decided belongs to me. Whatever it is, it takes me at least thirty seconds for my brain to come back online.

He must think I am completely unstable after today’s events, but I can’t bring myself to care. If he’s interested in me at all outside of work, the desire will dissipate after he gets what he wants and the chase is no longer as exciting.

That’s how people work. I thought it was just my parents that didn’t want me, didn’t have an interest in my life, but Brad clearly felt the same way. He might not have been the one to physically leave, but he hadn’t been present for a long time when I finally pulled the trigger and left. Because of this, I’ve learned to not grow close to too many people. That way I can control how bad the damage is if they leave.

I start to gather my necessary items, leaving the mess for tomorrow, and make a vow to myself.

I will not fall for Alex Ashford.