Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

32. Alana

CHAPTER 32

Alana

The room feels cold—not because of the temperature, but the environment of the two editors. It’s exactly what I expected from what we heard about Luis and Genevieve before we arrived. We sit down at the island of desks that they currently inhabit and I flip open my notebook to a new page.

I knew that whatever Genevieve had said to me when I first met her couldn’t have been kind. I can tell when someone is being sarcastic, even if I can’t understand the language. That, plus Luis’s snickering after she said it told me all I needed to know about her welcome.

The chaos and anxiety in my brain quiets as I get out my variety of colored highlighters and line them up in a neat row. I grab my pink gel pen and write the date at the top of the page, then switch to a black one and move down to begin to take notes.

“So, what does the current workload look like for you two?” Alex asks as they finally look up from whatever they were looking at on Genevieve’s phone.

“We don’t want you here,” Luis says. I hope the shock on my face at his words isn’t obvious, but I don’t have a great poker face so I’m sure it shows. I’m shocked he chooses these words as the first ones he speaks to us and I’m taken aback at how straightforward he is with his hatred. I anticipated it would be difficult to fit in here, but I did not expect outright dismissal.

“We have things under control and we don’t need Americans ,” he spits the word, “coming in to show us how it’s done.”

Alex looks over at me, concern and annoyance obvious in his green eyes. I take a deep breath and try again.

“I can acknowledge it probably is frustrating having people here that don’t understand or know the way your office works, but we’re just here to help.”

He rolls his eyes at my cautious smile and looks back to his computer, done with the conversation. Amélie intended for this meeting to take most of the morning, but that is looking less and less likely.

“Look,” Genevieve says, “Neither of us are happy you’re here. But if we’re honest, we are buried in work.” The flash of betrayal in Luis’s eyes tells me all I need to know in regards to how he feels about needing our help. “I think if we can each take on a section or two and split it up that way, it should work. Then we’re each taking on the work of two or three editors and not a whole team.”

My pen starts flying across the page and with each scribble, my shoulders drop. Making plans and a well organized page of notes acts as a balm to the anxious feelings I experience. For some people it’s the gym, for me it’s an organized page of color coordinated notes.

“That sounds doable,” Alex says. “Which ones would you like us to take over?”

We spend the next hour deciding how we are going to divide up the sections and Genevieve gives us a status update on the tasks left for the ones we’re responsible for. Luis sits to the side and doesn’t say a word, clearly not willing to warm up to us in the slightest.

After the meeting concludes, Alex and I move to the other side of the room and begin working. I start by making a to-do list and tackling each item one by one. Alex works in a less organized way, but he always gets his things done.

I open my laptop and pull up the program Impress uses for project management and editing. I notice Alex looking over at me every few minutes as we work. Eventually, I can’t take it any longer and I turn fully toward him.

“What?” I ask, almost irritated but not quite there yet.

“What do you mean what?”

“You know what. You’ve been looking over at me every few minutes for the last hour. Do I have something on my face?” I ask, reaching up to touch my cheeks and forehead.

“No, Lanie. Your face is perfect.”

I look down in an effort to hide the blush that I am certain is showing, but I’m startled by the gentle hand under my chin forcing my gaze back up and into Alex’s eyes.

“Don’t hide from me.”

The effect those words have on me should be studied by doctors, because there is no way it’s a healthy response. Butterflies take flight in my stomach and my toes curl in my shoes.

How am I supposed to respond to that?

Well, definitely not by giggling, which I am currently doing. I’m laughing and for some reason I can’t stop. It must be contagious, because after a few seconds of staring at me in confusion, Alex joins in. I don’t have any idea why we’re laughing, but I guess I’m glad I’m not doing it alone.

Genevieve and Luis glare at us with utter disapproval, but I can’t seem to make myself care. I’m not able to focus on anything but the full and beautiful sound coming from Alex’s lips. After a while, the laughter dies down and I realize we’ve gradually been leaning in, gravity or whatever else pulling us towards one another.

We are so close I can feel his breath as he sighs against my lips. He must be thinking the same thing I am, because I notice his eyes dart down to my lips for the smallest second before he reaches up and softly tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

I expect him to pull his hand away, but instead he lets it float down to my cup my cheek and oh my gosh I think he’s going to kiss me. And I’m going to let him.

“Did you two just come here to flirt?” Luis’s voice breaks the moment and I shoot back, suddenly aware of our surroundings, almost toppling my chair back and tipping over. “Good to know you’re both so dedicated. That might be something Amélie would want to know.”

Way to hit the mark there, Luis. It’s like he knows exactly what to say to get under my skin, and it works.

I mentally berate myself for getting swept up like that. Kissing your coworker while at work is definitely not the way to earn a promotion, and now Luis is threatening to report us to Amélie which means word would absolutely get back to Heather.

Alex whispers a soft sorry to me before he settles back into his work. I try to do the same, but I’m not very productive. I can’t stop thinking about his breath on my lips, his hand on my cheek, the way I could feel his racing pulse through his touch, and that leads me to thinking about how we’re going to get reported to the boss and I’ll probably get fired. Then everything I’ve worked so hard for will go straight down the drain.

This is why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I’ve been trying to work on myself and my career and climb the ladder. I know all a relationship will do is distract me from what’s important.

But what if you can have both? What if climbing the ladder isn’t the only thing that’s important?

I turn back to my notes and my pens, but it’s not helping. I can’t stop my racing thoughts. Normally this is when I would get up and go for a run, interrupt my thought train, but obviously that isn’t an option.

“I’m going to step outside and get some air.”

“It’s freezing outside, Alana.”

Okay, full name. Got it. Drawing a line.

“I’m aware, Ashford. I’ll be fine.”

He looks a little wounded at my dismissal, but I desperately need to breathe air that doesn’t smell like cedar and sandalwood. I head down the hall and completely forget my coat. My breathing turns heavy the closer I get to the door and I can tell I’m nearing an anxiety attack.

I push through the front door and stumble to the side of the building, putting my hands on the back of my head to try and open up my chest. I feel like I can’t breathe, and even though I know it’s just the panic, I can’t seem to get a hold of it. It’s frustrating that I let these things affect me, but if I was honest I know it’s not Alex’s fault. He’s acted as a remedy to my anxiety lately. In fact I wish I had asked him to come outside with me, even though his almost kiss is what started all of this.

This has nothing to do with him specifically, and everything to do with me placing too much pressure on myself and being terrified to let someone in again.

As I try to get control of my breathing, I remember the technique he taught me when we were back at home. I breathe in for four counts, hold it for seven and then breathe out for eight. After a few rounds I finally get control of my breathing and close my eyes, leaning up against the wall.

I feel an intense burst of pride shoot through me at the realization that I just got myself through that on my own, and it gives me the confidence and energy I need to push my way back into the office.

“You okay?” Alex whispers when I sit back down next to him.

“All good.”