Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

33. Alana

CHAPTER 33

Alana

The ride home that afternoon is quiet, both of us lost in thought. After my moment outside, I went back in and worked at my desk with Alex for the rest of the morning. Neither of us brought up the almost kiss and after lunch we sat in on the two interviews Amélie told us about and they both went well.

I’m thankful the first two spoke English, because it allowed me to feel like I contributed somehow. After the morning’s events, it was a good reminder that I’m here for a reason and Heather believes in me to do this job well.

As we pull up to the building, Alex looks over at me and narrows his eyes, glancing at the door handle.

“Don’t worry Ashford, I know the drill. I’ll let you hold on to your fragile masculinity.”

He scoffs and exits his side of the car. I sigh, thankful we’re back to our light banter at least for now, and wait for him to open my door. When he does, I take his hand and step out of the car.

We make our way in and up to our flat, bypassing Maura thankfully, and as we step inside the sight of our newly decorated tree lifts my spirits.

“I have something planned for us tonight,” Alex says. “Nothing that has any specific timeline, but I figured we could grab some dinner and then walk around and look at the different Christmas window displays. Cross another thing off your list.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal and doesn’t meet my eyes when he says it.

He’s downplaying how genuinely sincere and thoughtful his mission to help me feel the Christmas magic is, and I’m going to let him. It’s easier than thinking about what his thoughtfulness really means.

“That sounds like fun. I just need a bit to freshen up and then we can head out.”

Before I go to my room, I make my way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and spot a crystal bowl on the counter full of the different chocolates Alex usually gives me each day.

“You’re giving me free access?”

“I figured then you could pick which ones you want.”

“What if I want two a day instead of one?”

“We could arrange that, with proper payment of course,” he says with a smirk.

“And what would proper payment be?”

“I’ll think about it, sunshine.”

He turns and walks out of the kitchen, leaving me to overthink that interaction, much like I’ve been doing for all of our interactions lately.

I fill my glass, grab a dark chocolate peppermint bark square and head down the hallway. I flop down on the bed and fall backward, closing my eyes and breathing deep. Today has been a lot, but I’m proud of myself for getting through it and not letting my anxiety win. I make a note to share this win with Dr. Rodriguez during our next session. She’s been gracious enough to find times that align to meet, even with the time difference.

Sometimes my panic attacks are bad enough that I’m so wiped I need to leave work early, and on those days I honor that and go home, but I can’t say it isn’t frustrating when that happens. It causes me to be behind on my work and even though Heather is an understanding and compassionate boss, she can only allow so much.

I grab my phone to text Cami and Charlie and update them about the day and after a few back and forth updates on their end and mine, I get up to get ready for the evening. I still can’t believe Alex is setting out to complete all of the items on my list, but then again I guess I can. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, these past few weeks he’s shown how thoughtful and caring he can be. That’s the kind of guy he is.

I touch up my makeup and slip into a comfier, but still cute, outfit—matching light gray sweats, a long dark gray coat and green Sambas. Since we’ll be walking I make sure to dress warm, and then I head out to the living room with my book to read for a bit in front of the tree.

Alex must have lit the fireplace, because it’s crackling and glowing, and the scene is almost magical. I curl up on the velvet couch, grab a blanket and open my book. When the days are stressful, reading always helps.

Before long, I hear him make his way down the hall and I glance up from my book to take him in as he enters the room. He’s wearing black jeans and a black hoodie with a brown coat overtop, the hood hanging on the outside of the jacket. He looks effortlessly handsome and I’m irrationally angry that I can’t claim him as mine in this moment. I want to go to him and finish what we started in the office today, but I know I can’t.

He clears his throat, which must mean I’ve been looking a little too long, and I snap my eyes up his body to his eyes.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” he says with a cocky smirk. I grab the throw pillow nestled behind my back and toss it at his head. Unfortunately, he catches it before it makes contact and I frown, unhappy that it didn’t hit its intended target. “Come on, grumpy. Let’s get you some food.”

“Don’t patronize me,” I say with an eye roll, then stand before putting the blanket back and setting my book on the coffee table. I’m thankful the mood is light after the heaviness of the day. We bundle up and head out to Marco who takes us around to see a few different larger stores with elaborate displays.

First, we stop by Galeries Lafayette’s where they have a large Christmas tree each year that brings many visitors. They also transform the inside of the store each year along with all of the window displays. This year, the store has become a beehive. Inside, the alcoves have become honeycombs and the dome ceiling portrays a night sky. All around the store the bees are depicted preparing for Christmas. They’re picking out toys, gathering food, setting the table, and decorating the window displays.

Next, we head next door to Printemps Haussmann. Their windows tell a story of children taking different transportation to collect their gifts. The attention to detail is astonishing and we spend a long time just pointing out all the small things the artists took the time to add.

We stop at a nice restaurant for dinner and then Marco takes us back to the area around our flat, where we take off on foot to look at a few more.

As we walk, we stop and look at the windows of the small shops that line the streets, making comments about funny looking characters or beautifully decorated scenes. From nearly a block away, the pinks and reds in one of the windows catches my eye and something in me is drawn to it. My steps speed up as we approach, my body anxious to get to the shiny ribbons and bursts of color.

I stop in front of the window of Nouveau Visage, what seems to be a skincare store, and take in their display. The windows are lined with stacks and stacks of various sizes and shapes of gift boxes, each wrapped with pink, gold and red paper. The little girl in me squeals at the ribbons tied on top of each present. The velvet bows are tied perfectly with just the right size loops and tails. The red ones have pink stitching down the sides, and the pink ones have red stitching.

“These are beautiful,” I say. My hand floats up and my fingertips lightly touch the window. I gaze longingly at the bows, wishing I could have one for myself. “When I was little my mom got me a bow like this that I used to clip in my hair each day.” I’m not sure why I’m sharing, but this memory has surfaced and I have to get it out. “She loved it the first time I wore it, and I kept trying to get her attention by wearing it over and over again. It never really worked, but I loved that bow. I don’t know where it is now.” I can feel Alex standing beside me, his hand on the small of my back, but I’m not here with him. I’m back in my childhood home, struggling to get the bow in just the right spot in my hair.

He speaks softly, bringing me out of my trance gently. “Why don’t we go inside?” He guides me into the shop and tells me to look around and pick something out. The more I walk, the easier it is to shake off the memories and the more I come back to myself. I’m feeling much better by the time I find Alex again. I spot him standing awfully close to the back drop that separates the store from the window display.

“You look like trouble.”

“The best kind of trouble, Lanie. You up for being my lookout girl?”

“I’ve already done this once with the tree. What do you need a lookout for this time?”

“Just trust me, it’s for you.” There’s those words again, just trust me. I want to. “Turn around and if you see anyone headed this way just say the code word.”

“What is the code word?”

“Soleil.” The French word rolls off his tongue with ease.

“What does that even mean?”

“Not important, now turn around.” He places his hands gently on my shoulders and spins me so my back is to him. I do as I’m told and keep watch, but the woman working in the store stays at the register at the back, so Alex is in the clear the entire time. About two minutes later I feel his hand on my lower back begin to steer me out the front doors.

“Bonsoir!” I hear the woman in the back shout at us.

“Bonsoir,” we say in unison.

I try looking back at whatever Alex has procured for me, but I’m pushed forward and not able to see what he has behind his back. Once we get out onto the sidewalk, I spin to face him.

“What is it?”

“Hold out your hands and close your eyes.” I roll my eyes.

“Oh, come on. I’m not five.” But as I say it I close my eyes, an excited grin on my face. I couldn’t tell you the last time someone took the time to surprise me with something. Before this week, I hadn’t experienced anything like this. Sure, Cami might grab me a coffee without me having to ask and Charlie has randomly sent me five bucks for a treat, but I haven’t had someone curate a surprise specifically for me. That’s changing, though.

I feel the soft fabric land in my upturned palms and I know what it is before I open my eyes. The beautiful pink and red bow rests in my hands and I look down at it in awe.

“You took this for me?” I ask in a quiet voice. He nods and I feel the first tears slide down my face. He shifts from easy confidence to worry.

“What’s wrong, Lanie?”

“Nothing,” I say, smiling up at him. “These are happy tears.”

“You’re sure?” He reaches up and swipes the tears from my cheeks. I close my eyes and take in the feeling of someone caring for me.

“I’m sure.”

“Here,” he takes it from my hands. “Turn around.”

I turn, and he gently pulls all of my hair behind my back. I already had the top half pulled back away from my face, and I feel him tie the bow gently into the elastic I have there.

“There,” he says. “Now we’re tied together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, now you have something to remember this trip. I like having something tying us together. I don’t commit crimes for just anyone,” he says with a wink. I sniffle and dry my tears, shaking off the nostalgia and sadness and focusing on the way he makes me feel.

“I won’t report you this time.” I slip my hand into his, why I’m not sure, but I don’t question it tonight. It feels like the right thing to do and my heart can’t help but acknowledge the way our hands fit perfectly together.

I’m afraid I am tied to Alex in more ways than one. I’m slowly beginning to become used to the way he cares and looks out for me, and I am really enjoying our conversations and time together. After waking up to his lattes each morning and enjoying dinner with him each night, going back to reality is going to be difficult.

I put those things out of my mind tonight, though, and enjoy our walk back. I don’t even feel the cold wind whipping around my face. Not with Alex next to me.