Timeless

CHAPTER 8

1935

“W hat are you doing here?” Harriet asked when she saw Deb standing at her screen door.

“Can you come outside? I want to talk to you.”

Harriet turned to see that her mother was still working on lunch, so she practically shoved the door open, forcing Deb to back up. Then, she let the door slam behind her.

“Come on, Harriet! You weren’t raised in a barn!” her mother yelled.

“Sorry, Mama!” she yelled back, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at Deb. “Well, how was it?”

“How was what?” Deb asked.

“You know what,” she replied.

Deb looked around the porch, but there was no one there.

“Can we please go to the river?”

“They’ll be fishing.”

“Then, into the woods, at least. I need to talk to you.”

“Mama’s making lunch. I can’t go anywhere. I have to help set the table in a minute.”

“Harriet…”

Harriet hated seeing the concerned expression on Deb’s face, so she walked by her, down the porch steps, and on to the flat, dry grass.

“We can go into the shed,” she said. “No one should be in there. But I only have a minute.”

She continued walking, not checking behind her to see if Deb was following. She hadn’t slept a wink all night, unsure when she’d be able to sleep again, thinking about how Deb was falling asleep next to someone else and how, most nights, she’d be doing more than just sleeping. The whole night, she’d thought about how best to tell the love of her life that she couldn’t do this any longer.

Harriet had practiced inside her mind, telling Deb that it had to be over because John David or someone else would figure it out and put them in danger. She’d never forgive herself if something happened to Deb because they got careless. It would always be Harriet’s fault, and that guilt would never go away, so it would be best to just end it now to keep them both safe. Eventually, her father would also remember that she existed, and he’d insist she marry someone, maybe even Lucas, who she knew didn’t want to marry her because she was too rebellious in his eyes.

She pulled open the shed door and let Deb go inside first. The shed itself had been built by her brothers a few years ago for tool storage that was a little closer to the house. It was made of cheap wood scraps they’d either found or bartered for, more than actually paid for, and the slats had been nailed together with a little space between them, which gave the room some light after Harriet closed the door behind them. There was no lock inside the shed, though, so they had to be careful, and if they heard someone coming, they’d need to pretend they were there for a tool.

“What?” Harriet asked after crossing her arms again, wishing she could lose the annoyed tone because she knew Deb didn’t deserve it. “We have to be quiet in here, too,” she added.

“I didn’t do anything with John David last night.”

Harriet dropped her arms.

“Deb, what? Why not?”

The last thing Harriet wanted was for Deb to be touched by that man, but Deb also had to play along now that she was married, and not doing so would cause people to wonder why.

“I have to tell you something, and you can’t tell anyone, Harriet. I know you won’t, but it’s really important.” Deb moved to her and took Harriet’s hands in her own.

Everything in Harriet wanted to keep that connection because she worried that she’d never have it again, but she couldn’t. She pulled back because she had to remain strong for both of them if Deb couldn’t do it even for herself.

“Harriet…” Deb said as she looked down at their now separate hands.

“I can’t, Deb.”

“You can’t what?” Deb asked, looking more than concerned.

“I can’t be with you anymore. It’s not right. I don’t know why you weren’t with John David last night, but he’s probably telling his parents right now and maybe even yours that you didn’t do what you were supposed to do, and they’re going to start wondering why.”

“So, you don’t want to be with me now because I wasn’t with him last night?”

“Why are you making this harder than it has to be? You’re married now. We can’t keep doing this. He’s going to find out, Deb.”

“He already knows,” Deb replied.

“What?” she asked. “You told him? Deb, what were you thinking?”

“He knew. I didn’t tell him.”

“We have to run. Why didn’t you bring a bag with you? Do you have one? Where did you hide it?” she asked, thinking quickly about whether or not she could convince Lucas to drive them to the train station about thirty miles away to get them out of town before John David told everyone.

“Stop.” Deb cupped both of Harriet’s cheeks in her hands. “It’s all right, Harriet. He knew because he’s like us.”

“What do you mean? Did you bring a bag or not?”

“Do you love me?” Deb asked.

Something about that question and the look on Deb’s face had her stopping in her tracks.

“Yes. You know I do. You’re the love of my life. You’re my–”

“I’m your wife. On paper, I might be his, but in my heart, I’m yours. I will always be yours.”

“But you’re not mine, really, because– ”

“Harriet Louise, I love you more than anything. And John David didn’t want to touch me last night because he loves someone else. He knows I’m telling you this, and he’s talking to Jacob Lansing right now. They’re in love, too, Harriet. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. They love each other how you and I do. And when John David’s parents leave us the house, we can all be how we want there.”

“What are you talking about?” Harriet asked, thoughts running too quickly through her mind for her to catch up to them.

“He and Jacob want to be together.”

“Jacob is getting married, too.”

“Yes. They’ll have to figure that part out, but for right now, John David said that you and I can be together, too, as long as we’re careful. And when we get the house, you can stay over. I’ll have a bedroom of my own, Harriet. You can sleep there with me sometimes. Your parents won’t notice as long as you’re back by breakfast to help your mama cook. You can even slip in through the window, and they’d never know.”

“You’re serious?” Harriet asked. “Your husband is all right with you being with a woman?”

“Yes. He wants to be with a man. And he knows how dangerous it is, so he wants us to be careful, but, Harriet, we can be together.”

“What happens when my father does finally remember me and pushes me to marry?”

“I don’t know that part yet. And I hate the idea of you marrying someone else. I hate the idea of him touching you how I know you thought he was touching me last night, but he didn’t.”

“He will ,” Harriet replied.

“What?”

“Deb, at some point, and soon, he will. Just because he wants to be with Jacob Lansing and he said you can be with me, doesn’t mean that you two won’t have to do that soon. Your parents all expect you two to have children… There’s on ly one way to do that, isn’t there?”

“We talked about that a little. He said we didn’t have to do that right away. And when we do, it’ll be quick because neither of us wants it. He even said if we have a boy, he’s fine with one child, and we can make do with pretending from there.”

“What happens if you give him a mess of girls?”

“I won’t.”

“You can’t know that, Deb.”

“I won’t. Or, we will talk about it.”

“ All of us? I will talk to you and your husband about your children with him? Why don’t I think that’ll work…”

“We have time, Harriet. We have time to worry about that. For now, it’s still just you and me. Don’t you see that? I’ve still only been with you. You’ve still only been with me. We belong to each other no matter what happens, but for now, it’s still only us.”

It dawned on Harriet then just how lucky they were to have this extra time because of something they’d never known about John David.

“You’re sure that he didn’t just say that to get you to confess? They could be coming for us right now, and here you are, holding on to my face like you’re about to kiss me.”

“I’m sure. Jacob was at the house after breakfast this morning. I’m sure.”

“So, we can be together?”

“Yes.” Deb smiled wide. “Yes, we can.”

Harriet’s shoulders, which had been at her ears since yesterday, finally fell.

“I love you,” she told Deb.

“I love you, too.”

Harriet let Deb’s hands fall, which she knew they would, and she moved hers to Deb’s face then, pulling her mouth to her own while Deb’s arms wrapped around her waist.

“Do we have time?” Deb asked between heated kisses.

“Not much,” she replied.

“We never have much . But do we have any? ”

“She was kneading the biscuit dough,” Harriet replied and moved Deb over to the workbench, pressing her back against it. “We’ve got enough time.”

“Good. I need you to touch me. I need it to be you, Harriet. Always you.”

Harriet lifted Deb’s dress up and pushed down at her underwear. Her lips met Deb’s neck. She was always careful never to leave a mark, but she realized then that now that Deb was married, people would just assume that John David had put the mark there. Part of her was angered by that, but the other part, the bigger part, loved the idea that she could mark her wife how she wanted because now, they had an excuse. John David could take the credit, which would help keep up their lies, and she could have the woman she loved up against this workbench, sucking on her skin and listening to Deb’s soft sounds because they had to be soft. If anyone walked by, they’d hear them.

“We shouldn’t,” she mumbled against Deb’s skin as her hand moved into Deb’s underwear. “One of my brothers could come in and find us.”

“Please,” Deb begged. “I need you inside me.”

Harriet pushed all thoughts of the world around her away and gathered what Deb had already had ready for her, slipping her fingers down and, without hesitation, inside her.

“Oh,” Deb let out.

Harriet took her in for a moment then. Deb’s eyes were closed. Her hands were now around Harriet’s neck, and her mouth was open. Her head was back against the wall of tools behind the haphazardly put-together bench.

“I love you,” Deb said breathily.

“I love you, too,” Harriet replied and pushed in deeper, filling her up before she began to curl.

“Please,” Deb requested as her hands moved to the hem of Harriet’s dress, and she lifted it.

Harriet knew what she wanted, so she held the dress up to help. When Deb’s hand slipped into her underwear and cupped her, Harriet’s hips instantly began to rock against her hand. Deb’s fingers moved into her folds, and she stroked her clit in only the way she knew how to do. They gasped and moaned quietly together while bringing each other to an orgasm, and when they both came down, they just stood there, frozen in time, breathing heavily between kisses, not wanting to move.

“Mama always talks about sex being something women have to endure, but she’s got it all wrong,” Deb eventually said, her flushed cheeks giving away everything they’d just done to each other.

“Yes, she has.” Harriet kissed her. “And I don’t want to, but we should go.”

“I know,” Deb said and kissed her this time. “I love you.” Her free hand went to cup Harriet’s cheek. “We’ll figure everything else out, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied, believing her.

Then, Harriet pulled her hand out of Deb’s underwear and reached for a rag on the bench. She wiped her hand first, knowing she’d wash it once inside the house, and handed it to Deb, who did the same.

“You should get home. They’ll be expecting you to help with lunch.”

“I know. I have to learn how to cook for him.”

“You’re a terrible cook,” Harriet said, laughing a little. “But I loved the apple pie you made for me with your mama.”

“She didn’t know I made it for you. She thought it was for John David after we got engaged.”

“And that made it taste even better,” Harriet teased.

When she then heard a sound coming from outside, it wasn’t close enough for her to be very worried, but it did make her more aware of their precarious situation.

“I found the hammer,” she added loudly.

“What?” Deb asked.

Harriet pointed behind Deb and heard the sound again.

“My brothers,” she whispered.

At least two of them were out there, talking, probably headed to the house for lunch .

“Can you stay in here until they’re all inside?”

Deb nodded, and Harriet went to grab a hammer from behind her before she kissed her quickly.

“I love you. We’ll talk later.”

At first, Deb just nodded again, probably trying not to make any noise, but then she whispered, “I love you, too.”

Deb, being unable to let her leave without saying those words to her, had Harriet giving her all smiles when she left the shed carrying a hammer that she didn’t need.