Friday – March 8, 2024
Ash
Mr. Frost was having his bachelor party tonight. Which meant I had to have my bachelorette party. Gah. Bachelorette parties meant Chastity was going to hire strippers. Even though she’d promised not to.
She kept trying to throw me at men for the past couple months. But I wasn’t going to cheat on Mr. Frost. I’d put too much effort into making this thing seem real. And I mean a lot of effort. Every time he tried to mention our arrangement I had to drop to my knees and give him a blowjob to make him stop talking. I’d given him so many blowjobs at work. On his desk. In the bathroom. On the elevator. He couldn’t keep his little mouth shut. And now I had cockjaw. It was like lockjaw. But caused by all the cock in my mouth. Chastity had diagnosed me.
There was a knock on my door.
Tanner! I shook my head. I’d been very clear with him the last dozen times he’d shown up here that I didn’t want to see him anymore. I had to stay away. Ghazi was watching. And whenever Tanner was around, I tended to have wandering fingies.
Yet, every time there was a knock on my door or a sound in my closet, I went running hoping it was him. But it never was. Tanner was being a rather terrible stalker now. He should have been outside my apartment with binoculars. But alas, he was not. And he wasn’t at my door right now either. Neither were my friends with a bunch of strippers. Instead it was a courier with a padded envelope.
I grabbed it and closed the door. I didn’t remember ordering anything. And I only ever used couriers to deliver last minute Save the Dates. I tore into the envelope and pulled out a binder. Ah my prenup is here!
I flipped through it and paused on a very surprising page. My eyes grew round. Mr. Frost was paying me a million dollars in case of a divorce?! Wow. Score! Sometimes we were so good at faking it that I was worried he was starting to believe it was real. Hence the cockjaw. Although I guess I mostly did that when he tried to say something alarming that Ghazi might hear.
But according to this agreement, Mr. Frost and I were definitely on the same page about this being fake. And I loved that he was going to give me a million bucks for my time. I felt like a common street whore. Well, more of high-end whore, I guess. How swell.
There was another knock on the door. Tanner! No. Gah! I wasn’t sure why I ever thought it was him. I hadn’t heard from him in over a month. He’d forgotten all about me. And here I was with cockjaw, doing nothing but thinking of him. I hated this fake engagement. I hated that I had to lie to everyone I loved. But lying to Tanner felt worst of all.
I opened the door. Again, it was neither Tanner nor my friends. It was another courier. This was way too many couriers .
I grabbed the envelope he handed me and opened it. Inside was a plane ticket and a note:
Meet us at the airport in five! We’re going abroad!
P.S. Don’t forget to pack the necessities.
P.P.S. And by that I mean bikinis.
P.P.P.S. And by that I mean very slutty bikinis. Put the one-pieces away, bitch.
XOXO,
Chastity
Abroad? We were supposed to be hanging out here playing Seven Wonders. I’d gotten very into boardgames during my fake engagement. Especially Seven Wonders. Chastity knew this. I didn’t want to go abroad. There were certainly strippers abroad. Foreign ones. Which meant more sexual. There’d be way too many penises!
And five...what? Days? Hours? I looked at the plane ticket. Ah! Five minutes?!
***
I collapsed on the couch at our resort. Italy oozed romance. And romance made me think of Tanner. And I didn’t want to think about anything right now. I just wanted to get this over with and get hitched.
I pulled the lid off of Seven Wonders.
“Girl, you didn’t even look at the view.” Chastity grabbed my arm and pulled me to the window. We had an amazing view of the Colosseum. “I wanted to bring you to the seven wonders.”
I smiled. I thought this whole trip was an excuse for strippers. But this was actually very sweet of Chastity. No, the Colosseum wasn’t technically one of the seven wonders…but I’d recently gotten an expansion for the game - Seven Wonders: Leaders Expansion. And the Colosseum board in that was now my favorite wonder to use.
“And I brought us togas to wear while we play!” Chastity pulled them out of her suitcase.
I stared at her when she handed it to me. She was being very sweet. Too sweet. What was her angle here? Were there strippers in the ceiling or something? I looked up, but there were none hiding that I could see.
Maybe Chastity was actually going to behave and respect my engagement for once. And it was fun to dress up for the game. I quickly changed.
Okay, I’d found the catch. My toga was super slutty. I’d never shown so much sideboob in my life. And the slit in my skirt was SO HIGH. At least we weren’t leaving the room. I pulled on the strappy white gladiator boots that matched. And the beautiful white laurel wreath crown. Chastity put a brIDE-TO-BE sash over my shoulder.
My bridesmaids were all wearing similar togas, but less slutty. And theirs were pink instead of white. Frankie and Chastity both looked amazing. And actually Madison looked pretty good too. Chastity had done her makeup and made her look super girly. I hadn’t hung out with Madison much recently. I’d been too busy being a whore and then fake engaged. But it was good to see her. And I’d asked Frankie to be a bridesmaid too. I didn’t know her super well, but I felt like I did. Because whenever we weren’t hanging out, it seemed like Nigel was always talking about her.. .
I sighed. Nigel. I missed him too. I tried not to think about the missing men in my life. We all sat down around the board in our togas. It was a very immersive experience.
And we proceeded to play Seven Wonders for hours, tournament style. It was very competitive. And the perfect bachelorette party.
“I don’t understand why we didn’t invite Liz,” said Madison.
Because I hate her. And I’d literally rather die than have her as a bridesmaid. Even a fake bridesmaid. I just shrugged instead of saying it.
“I think her feelings are going to be hurt.”
Why? We’re not even friends. She could burn in hell for all I cared.
“If she was here she’d just fall asleep,” said Chastity.
“Yeah, but she’d at least be included. Women need to stick together and support each other.”
“Who is this Liz person?” asked Frankie.
Satan. “No one,” I said.
“One of our best friends,” said Madison.
I shuddered. Never. “I know literally nothing about her. She rarely speaks because she’s always sleeping. And when she does talk, it’s usually very rude.”
“She’s...passionate about certain topics,” said Madison.
“So was Hitler.”
Madison gasped. “Liz isn’t Hitler.”
“I didn’t put her name in the same sentence as Hitler. You did.”
She gasped again .
“Focus on the game.” I would not allow Madison to pressure me into having Liz as one of my bridesmaids. This engagement may have been fake, but I’d rather die in a gladiator battle than have anyone think I was such close friends with Liz that she was in my fake bridal party. Not on my watch.
“I wonder what games bachelorettes played in ancient Greece,” said Frankie, changing the subject, like a good friend would.
I hope she did fuck Nigel one day. He was a nice guy. And she deserved that. I shook my head. I’d worded that weirdly.
“Maybe they wandered around in the Labyrinth of Crete and got fucked by the minotaur if they got caught,” said Chastity.
That was oddly specific. “Ah! I won!”
Chastity smiled. “Congrats! Now pose to celebrate your victory!”
I propped my hand on my hip in a silly pose. Which reminded me of when Tanner had taken photos of me for Odegaard. Literally everything reminded me of Tanner.
Chastity snapped the picture and started typing on her phone.
I looked over her shoulder to see what she’d typed.
The photo now had a caption: “Don’t worry about your bride. We’re just having a girls’ night in for her bachelorette party.” She sent it to Mr. Frost.
Good. He’ll know I’m being good and playing boardgames.
I didn’t bother waiting for his reply. He usually just sent one-word replies anyway. Like a robot person. I stood up and stretched. “Anyone else hungry? Let’s go get some pizza.”
“Oh, I’ll pitch in.” Madison pulled out her purse and pulled out a single dollar bill.
I just stared at her. Really? She wanted to pitch in one dollar? What did she think a dollar was going to buy? And I wasn’t even sure restaurants in Italy took American dollars.
“And I brought some snacks.” She pulled a single-serve bag of chips out of her purse and kept them very close to herself.
I shook my head.
“I was wondering when you’d get hungry.” Chastity stood up. “Let’s go out.”
I didn’t like the way she’d said that. “For pizza.”
“Yeah, we’re going out.”
I squinted at her. “Are there strippers in this ‘out’ that you’re referring too?”
“No, silly.” She hooked her arm through mine and pulled me out into the hall.
We took the elevator down to the first floor. But when the doors parted, it didn’t look like the lobby.
What the...
“This way,” said Chastity and pulled me off the elevator.
“Is this the right floor?” asked Madison.
Chastity ignored her and pulled me down a hallway. The walls were suddenly stone. And the farther we walked, the darker everything grew. We took a few more turns.
“I think we’re lost,” said Frankie .
I nodded. “Agreed. Let’s backtrack to the elevator.” We tried to take the same turns, but the elevator was nowhere in sight. And everything was just even darker.
“Yeah, we’re definitely lost,” said Madison.
“Oh my,” said Chastity. “Are we in some kind of underground labyrinth? Oh no.” She didn’t sound very surprised by this.
A labyrinth? Really? “Damn it! I should have brought a string. What were we thinking going into a labyrinth without a string?!”
I froze when I heard footsteps echoing down the hall.
“Who’s there?” said Madison. “Don’t take another step, we’re four beefy men, and we know how to fight!”
Say what?
“Maybe whoever that is can help us get out of here perhaps,” said Chastity. Again, she did not sound sincere. She pulled me toward the footsteps instead of away. We turned down another hallway.
Speaking of beefy men... There was a beefy guy with tattoos standing in the center of the hallway. In a red skirt and a bull mask. His tattoos looked a little familiar. But it was so dark That I couldn’t really tell for sure.
The minotaur beefcake grunted at us and took a step forward.
I screamed at the top of my lungs and took off running.
But Chastity grabbed my arm before I could get too far .
“Girl, chill. He’s chained to the wall with at least a dozen chains. And there’s a note for us.”
“What?”
She pulled me back toward the minotaur man. About ten feet in front of them, there was a scroll on a pedestal. I picked it up and rolled it out to read it out loud.
“Congratulations on your engagement! Your maid of honor told us that you’re a loyal bride and that you like games…so we have a game for you. Escape the maze before the minotaur catches you, and you get to stay loyal. But if the minotaur catches you, we can’t be held responsible for what he does to your body. ;)”
What the hell? Chastity what did you do?
Metal clanged.
I looked up from the note. One of the chains holding the minotaur released.
Then another.
And another.
And another.
He was straining against the chains. All his muscles were bulging. For a second I stared at his abs.
What am I doing? “Ah! Run!!!!”
We all took off running but almost immediately hit a dead end. We backtracked and then hit another dead end. But this one seemed different. Part of the wall was back farther. Almost like there was a doorframe, even though it didn’t look like a door. I stared at the doorknocker.
“Is this the exit?” asked Madison .
Oh thank God . I lifted the knocker and knocked.
Instead of a part of the wall opening, four holes opened up at about waist level. And then four humungous dicks popped out through the holes.
Madison yelped. “Ah! Penises! Ew!” She stepped back in horror.
Right. She hated penises. And men. And anything phallic really. She even made a point of cutting hotdogs in half lengthwise so they wouldn’t be so phallic. It was really emasculating.
“I think we have to suck them to get out,” said Chastity. “One for each of us. It’s a glory hole wall. Yay!”
I shook my head. “Nope. No. I can’t.”
I waited for Madison to refuse too. But she didn’t say anything. I turned to look at her. She’d already dropped to her knees and was sucking a huge black cock.
Okay then. Weird.
Madison pulled back. “What? Why is everyone staring at me?”
“I thought you’d be against this…” my voice trailed off.
“I am. But we’ve gotta get out of here to save you. And I’d do anything for you.” She went back to sucking.
Huh. I guess she wasn’t a lesbian after all. She must have been telling the truth when she tried to order the biggest blackest cock... But also there was that “I’d do anything for you” comment. Madison was very confusing.
“Which one do you want?” asked Chastity. “Bride’s choice. ”
“Um…” I looked down at them. They were all magnificent. But I had to be a good bride so I didn’t fuck up this sham of a wedding. Besides, I already had cockjaw. “None.”
“But it’s a bachelorette party. If you don’t suck at least one cock, you’ll be uninvited to the wedding.”
I laughed. “That’s not how anything works.”
“I got you,” said Frankie. She stared sucking one and jerking another off.
“Darn it, Frankie,” Chastity mumbled under her breath. Then she started going to town on the last cock.
I kept checking around the corner. There were no signs of the minotaur. Yet. I looked back at my girls having fun at the glory hole wall. It reminded me of my days of being a whore to get Tanner free. Huh. First I was a whore for him. Now I was a literally a paid whore for Mr. Frost. What is my life?
I heard the sound of footsteps. Shit! “Girls! Suck faster!” I ran over to them and started pushing their heads down.
They all started gagging. But it worked. The deepthroating resulted in every one of those cocks exploding. You get a cumshot. And you get a cumshot. And you get a cumshot!
None for me though. Because I was fake engaged. I only took Mr. Frost’s cumshots. I sighed. I missed Tanner.
I turned and saw the minotaur round the corner. “Ah! ”
The door slowly slid open. And the four of us barely made it through. The door slammed shut just in time to save us from the Minotaur.
Phew. That was a close one.
The door shuddered as the minotaur slammed against it.
Ah! He was going to break it down! We weren’t in the clear yet. I turned around to start running again before the minotaur could break through.
But I was completely frozen. We were standing in a beautiful villa courtyard. There were olive trees, marble columns, and giant lotus flowers everywhere.
And there were tons of girls already there lounging on couches and drinking wine. Not a guy to be seen. Unless you counted the marble statues. They were so lifelike. And they were all super hot. And unlike most Greek and Roman statues…these ones were HUNG with big white marble penises.
I turned toward Chastity. The scroll had said she’d planned all this. And yes, the minotaur stripper had clearly been trying to rape us. But now we were in this peaceful villa with only women. Maybe there weren’t going to be anymore strippers now. Chastity was full of surprises tonight.
“Ah! Look!” Chastity pointed up.
Three guys had just walked out onto a platform that looked like a cloud. The platform was labeled MT. OLYMPUS. One of the guys was a DJ, dressed kinda like a god. And the other two guys were dancers, also dressed liked gods.
They started playing a Spaceboy song .
Hold everything. Wait. It IS Spaceboy! “It’s Spaceboy!” I yelled and started cheering.
All the girls in the crowd went wild and started dancing.
“Come on!” Chastity put her arm through mine. “Let’s dance!”
I really wanted to. But... The minotaur slammed against the door again. “Shouldn’t we keep going? To get farther away from the minotaur?”
“No way. We already escaped. Besides, even if he does break in, I’m sure another girl here will happily ride him. He was hotter than sin.”
Fair .
“And it’s Spaceboy! Your favorite!”
I smiled. First we’d gotten to play Seven Wonders for hours. Now she’d gotten Spaceboy. Chastity was being such a good maid of honor.
She led me down to a big sand pit where everyone was dancing.
Frankie, Madison, Chastity, and I all started dancing too.
I’d seen a lot of Spaceboy performances, but this one was awesome. Now that I knew the theme, I could tell that Spaceboy was dressed like Zeus. He was spinning records and rapping. I couldn’t tell which gods the two dancers were dressed as. One was dancing on a cloud that was somehow floating around the party. He pulled out a bow and arrow. Oh! He was probably Apollo. Or...maybe cupid?
The other dancer had a winged helmet and now he was flying around the party in some sort of rocket boots. All while dancing. I didn’t understand how he was doing it, but it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. I wanted to fuck him so bad.
Ah! No! Bad Ash! Sometimes my whorish ways popped back up. And I immediately bottled them and threw them over my shoulder. I kept swaying my hips as I pretending to screw a bottle closed and tossed it.
“What dance move is that?” asked Frankie, mimicking me.
“The pure girl dance!”
“What?” she made a face.
“Have you heard from Nigel recently?” I asked.
“No!” she shouted over the music.
Strange. I’d never taken Nigel as a shy boy. But I wouldn’t have thought he was a pure boy either. He was such an enigma.
The four of us kept dancing. I remembered dancing with Tanner last time I saw Spaceboy live. I pictured his hands on my hips. It had been the perfect night. Well, kind of. It had been perfect up until Incident #6. I still remembered Tanner’s face when I blurted out that I loved him. Right before I fell off the side of the yacht half naked and Tanner disappeared. I had a strange definition of perfect. But honestly...I’d take having an incident with Tanner over not seeing Tanner any day of the week. I missed him so much it hurt.
Spaceboy tapped the mic when the song ended. “If all the ladies could please clear the dance floor.”
Thank God. I was tired from dancing so much. And so parched. I collapsed on one of the couches situated around the sandpit .
A hole at each end of the sandpit opened up and guys dressed as gladiators came up through the floor on rising platforms.
Madison tsked. “Why aren’t they wearing more clothes?”
I happened to like the little they were wearing. They just had on togas and gladiator helmets with cages over their faces. They didn’t have any weapons. And they were chained to the floor.
I really liked this vibe. Men being chained up did something to me. I crossed my legs.
“Fighting first…in the blue toga, weighing in at 180 pounds, we have Cassius!” yelled Spaceboy. “And in the red toga, weighing in at 178 pounds, Octavian!”
Oh a real gladiator match! This was so fun. I started clapping. I turned to Chastity. “I can’t believe you planned all this for me. And that there was only one stripper and you helped me escape.”
She laughed.
“Why did you just laugh?” I asked.
“Because I’m happy?”
“Why did you say that like a question?”
“Girl, focus, the match is about to begin.” She pointed to the sandpit.
I stared at her. “But the minotaur was the only stripper, right? And we’re safely away from him?”
“Sure.”
“You’re answering my questions very weirdly.”
She laughed again.
What was she up to...
“Fight!” Spaceboy yelled .
I turned back to the sandpit. Just like when the minotaur had started to get free, the shackles on the gladiator’s wrists snapped open. They started to circle around each other.
Cassius lunged in but the other gladiator swatted his hand away. Cassius went in again. This time Octavian flipped over him. As he landed, he tugged on Cassius’ toga, tearing it free.
Cassius was left only in a gold jock strap. He stood up and wiggled his hips, making his cock bounce all around. He turned to me and smiled.
Oh no. So much for there not being anymore strippers.