Earlier That Night – Friday – March 8, 2024
Tanner
Chloe was getting so big. Any day now I was hoping she’d say her first word. And I was pretty sure it was going to be abuelo. I balanced her in one arm as I had a sword fight with Jacob. I pretended to stab him with a stick.
Jacob grabbed his chest and stumbled backward, falling onto one of the couch cushions we’d pulled off the couch for our battle. His tongue lolled out to the side and he was completely still.
Chloe started crying.
Jacob hopped back up. “It’s okay, Chloe. I’m still alive.”
Brooklyn laughed and ruffled Jacob’s hair. “I just pulled out some cupcakes. And I could use my expert icing-er.”
“Cuppycakes!” Jacob abandoned his stick and ran into the kitchen.
As soon as Jacob was out of the room Brooklyn gave me a look.
“What?” I asked.
“You’ve been over a lot lately.” She sat down on the couch.
“Oh. Yeah.” I shrugged. “What time is it?” I looked down at my watch. But really I was just looking at Chloe’s smiling face. “It is getting late. I should probably get going...”
“That’s not what she meant,” said Matt as he walked into the room holding a plate of cupcakes my grandson had already put icing on. He placed them down on the coffee table. “We’re worried about you.”
“Who? Me?”
Matt nodded. “Yeah. You. Ash’s wedding is coming up and...”
I laughed. “No. It’s not.”
“She sent out the official invitations,” said Brooklyn.
I didn’t know whether to be offended or not that she hadn’t sent me one. The last couple months had felt like torture. Every time I tried to talk to her, she sent me away. It was like she was repulsed by my face or something. It had been very tempting to lurk outside her building stalking her, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I’d originally been the one stalker her when she was torturing me. And every time I left my apartment, I always looked over at the bench she used to sit at with binoculars. I missed her stalking me. I missed her in my arms. I missed her so much it hurt.
I cleared my throat. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” said Brooklyn. “I don’t understand what you’re doing. You love her. So fight for her.”
“Trust me, I’m doing everything I can.” There was only so much I could do when she yelled at me to go away.
“How? You’re over here every night hanging out with us. ”
“Sometimes I’m hanging out with Nigel.”
Brooklyn raised her eyebrow at me.
I laughed. “Don’t give me that look.”
“What look?”
“Your mom look. It’s so seductive.”
Matt slapped me in the back of the head.
Ow. I rubbed the spot and Brooklyn laughed.
“You sound just like Rob,” said Brooklyn.
“Take it back.”
She shook her head. “Speaking of Rob...he is coming over tonight with everyone too. I know you like a warning.”
I nodded. “I do appreciate a warning.”
She shook her head again.
“Coach, Coach!” Jacob ran back into the room holding way too many cupcakes for us. “When is Scarlett coming?”
“Everyone should be here any minute...” Matt’s voice trailed off when there was a knock on the door. “That’s probably them.”
James, Penny, Scarlett, and Liam were at the door.
“This conversation isn’t over,” said Brooklyn and squeezed my shoulder.
But I hoped it was. I appreciated that my friends were concerned. But it was hard to talk about when I couldn’t tell them everything. They just didn’t understand. I was leaving this in Chastity’s hands for a good reason. A Single Girl Rules reason.
My phone buzzed and I pulled it out. Chastity had just texted me a picture of Ash looking ridiculously hot in a slutty white Bride-to-Be toga .
Ah! It’s finally happening! I breathed a sigh of relief. The last few months really had been torture. My family was the only thing holding me together. But now the bachelorette party was finally happening. I really hope this works.
I wondered where she was having it. Chastity had given me very few details. She always just said she had it covered.
I quickly shot Cole a text.
He didn’t respond. And he always responded right away. Since the stupid asshole was my friend. I shook my head. I didn’t know why I referred to him so harshly. He really was a great guy. And him not responding was a good thing. It probably meant he was wherever Chastity and Ash were. I swallowed hard.
I didn’t want to think about Cole’s hands all over my girl. It was bad enough picturing Mr. Frost’s hands on her. But at least I knew they weren’t being intimate. Which was also infuriating because what the actual fuck? Ash had my mind scrambled.
Penny came over and gave me a hug. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m grand.”
She gave me a weird look. “Are you though?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Brooklyn sighed. “He doesn’t want to talk about it.”
Penny shook her head. “Still? Tanner, you know you can talk to us about anything, right? We’re here for you. ”
That was very sweet. But they couldn’t help me. Only Chastity could. “I know,” I said. “But really, everything is going to be fine.”
Penny and Brooklyn gave each other concerned looks.
“If you’ll excuse me.” I stood up and grabbed one of the discarded sticks off the ground. “On guard.” I pointed it at Jacob.
Jacob and Scarlett both grabbed their own sticks. And the three of us started battling across the family room. Jacob let Scarlett stab him, even though I knew he could have blocked the attack. The two of them were adorable together. I didn’t know Axel very well. But there was no way that Jacob wasn’t going to be endgame for Scarlett. #HoesBeforeBros. I shook my head. I’d been spending too much time with Chastity recently.
I smiled as Scarlett tried to help Jacob to his feet. But he pulled her down onto the carpet and they both erupted into giggles.
My mind never seemed to stop thinking about true love matches. Maybe I should preoccupy my time while I waited for Chastity to destroy Ash’s engagement. Nigel kept pestering me about finding a match for Frankie... Nah. My matchmaking days were over. Nigel could do that himself if he wanted. And by “do that” I meant “tap that.” Because the little chap was smitten with Frankie for sure.
“Where is Rob?” asked James. “Wasn’t he supposed to be here? He was supposed to give me an update on a new Hunter Tech project earlier, but I never heard from him. ”
Matt shrugged. “He was supposed to be here.”
“Maybe he heard I was here and decided not to come,” I said.
James shook his head. “When are the two of you going to admit that you’re friends?”
“Never. Because we aren’t.”
James laughed. “I swear Rob said the exact same thing to me the last time I brought it up to him.”
“I don’t think we ever say the exact same thing.” I wasn’t a pauper.
“You really do though,” said Penny.
Brooklyn nodded in agreement.
“Nonsense. Do I sound like Young Robert to you, Chloe?” I looked down at her in my arms. She smiled up at me. “Chloe agrees with me.”
Matt laughed. “I think Chloe would like it if her uncles all got along.”
“I believe James, Robert, and Mason all do get along. And those are her uncles. I’m her abuelo.”
Matt laughed again.
“Sorry we’re late,” said Bee as she let herself in. “Nova spit up in the car ride over so we had to go back so I could change.” Mason walked in carrying Nova.
“You could have just borrowed something of mine,” said Brooklyn as she gave them each a hug.
It was like Nova knew we were talking about her because she burst out crying.
“Is Abuelo on baby duty?” asked Mason. He didn’t wait for a response. “Great. Because I need a nap.” He kissed Nova’s forehead and then handed her over to me.
Nova immediately stopped crying .
“I don’t know how you do that,” said Bee. “You’re a lifesaver.” She kissed my cheek.
I smiled as I balanced the two babies in my arms. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, but I’d become Nova’s abuelo too.
I knew my friends were concerned about me. But leaning on them the past couple months had made them feel even more like family. Minus Young Robert. The little rascal. I still thought he might be behind this Ash wedding nonsense.
I could feel Brooklyn’s eyes on me. I looked up and saw her staring at me. With such sadness. I looked back down at Chloe and Nova. Maybe Brooklyn had pictured me starting a family with Ash. A real family of my own. I swallowed down a lump in my throat.
“Where is Nigel?” asked Mason. “I could really use a back massage.”
“You need to stop asking him for favors like that,” said Bee. “He’s not your houseboy.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “You can borrow him for a while. Feel free.”
“I’m not sure that’s how employees work,” said Mason.
“Of course it is.”
Mason laughed.
“But seriously, where is Nigel?” asked Matt. “He hasn’t faxed me in a few days.”
“He’s learning the computers,” I said.
“What did you just say?”
Had I said something strange? “He’s studying the new computers.”
“What new computers? ”
“The lap ones.”
“Are you talking about laptops?” asked James.
“Yes, those ones.”
James looked very confused. “Does Nigel not know how to use a laptop?”
Matt shook his head. “He knows. He comes to my work all the time and plays on mine. But I think he likes mainframes better?”
Something like that. Nigel had started a feud with Destiny. He’d become quite obsessed with tech over the last couple months. “He’s been getting very into tech.”
“He should go to Hunter Tech sometime,” said James. “Rob could show him around.”
I smiled. I really liked the sound of Nigel pestering Robert. “Nigel does love a good take your Nigel to work day.”
“He really does,” said Matt.
“I’ll send him over one day to surprise Robert.”
Matt laughed. “Perfect. Make sure to tell him to pack Rob a meaty sandwich.”
“What?”
“Nigel is always making me really meaty sandwiches.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he thinks I like them.”
“Do you not? You should tell him if you don’t. Or else he’ll keep doing it.”
Matt shrugged.
It seemed to me that Matt rather liked them.
“Really, where is Rob?” asked Brooklyn. “I’m starting to worry. ”
I wasn’t worried in the slightest. I tried to focus on my friends and my grandkids. But tonight I just...couldn’t. I was too curious about what Ash was up to. After I handed off the babies to a very tired looking Mason, I pulled out my phone.
I checked the backend data from the Society. Chastity’s text originated at the Rome branch of the Society. Interesting . I cleared my throat. “I have a work telephone call on my cellular device that I need to take.”
“Now he takes calls,” said Matt.
“Because I’m not overseas.”
“Phones work overseas, man.”
“Not this one.”
“I’m pretty sure you have the same phone as me,” he said.
“Nonsense.” I walked out of the room and then hurried up the stairs for privacy. I opened the door to Jacob’s room and closed it behind me. I needed to go check to see what was going on with Ash. Just a tiny peek. And then I’d come right back.
I snapped my fingers. But instead of teleporting to the Rome Society, I flickered a few times. I snapped again, but the same thing happened. Why was my magic glitching?
I snapped again, but I just flickered. What the hell?
Rob popped out of Jacob’s closet with a phone in his hand. “Aha! I finally caught you, genie boy! And I recorded the whole thing! I caught you, you sneaky little bastard! I knew you were a liar. And now everyone else will know all your secrets too, Ryder Storm !”
Shit .
Daphne came out of the closet too. “I’m so sorry, Tanner. I tried to stop him…”
I shook my head. Fuck. I wasn’t sure how long Rob had known I was a genie. But I’d had my suspicions when he’d dressed up like a genie at the Halloween party. And then some of the comments he’d made at Thanksgiving. I would have just wiped both their memories...but I wasn’t sure how far back I’d have to go. And I couldn’t just wipe his memory from the last several months. It wasn’t right.
Damn it. I just needed to come clean in hopes that Rob wouldn’t tell anyone else. And stop recording me so that my magic would work so I could go check on Ash. Sometimes tech blocked magic. I also really needed him to delete that video he’d just recorded. Screw me.
I took a deep breath. “It’s okay. He’s right. I’m a genie.”
“I knew it!” yelled Rob.
“Would you keep it down,” I said. “No one else can know.”
“Well I’m definitely telling Matt...”
“No, you’re not. This has to stay between the three of us.”
“You want a secret to be kept between the three of us?” Rob looked very skeptical.
“There are genie hunters out there. And the more people that know, the more danger I’m in. And you’re in. And Daphne’s in. Trust me.”
“I don’t trust you. That’s why I’ve been following you for weeks.”
Had he only known for a few weeks? I could wipe his memory if he’d only known that long... No. It was wrong. And more importantly, Ghazi might get angry. “I’m serious, Robert.”
“He won’t tell anyone,” said Daphne. “Neither of us will. Right?” She gave her husband a pointed stare.
“I mean...”
“Robert,” said Daphne.
Rob sighed. “Fine. Whatever. But I knew it!”
“Shhhh,” I hissed. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to let me go to Rome to check on Ash real quick. And then...”
“Didn’t you two break up?”
“No.”
He laughed. “Are you sure about that, man?”
Daphne elbowed him in his side.
“You’re going to let me go,” I said. “And you’re going to delete that video.” Rob was still holding his phone in the air. And I was pretty sure he was still recording.
Rob glanced at Daphne and then back at me. “Okay. Let us come too, and we’ll drop it.”
Really? Okay. That was easy enough. “Fine.” Besides, Daphne could be useful at getting us in if it was an all-girls event. Otherwise we’d have to be strippers. And I couldn’t exactly be a stripper unless all the women there wanted to die a fiery death.
I put my hand out for Rob’s phone.
He tossed it at me.
I deleted the recording. And then I snapped my fingers, teleporting us to Rome.
“Trippy,” said Rob. “Where are we? ”
“The Rome Society.” Apparently Rob knew all about the Society too, since he’d called me Ryder Storm.
“And what exactly are we doing here?”
“Ash is having her bachelorette party. And I want to keep an eye on her. And see if she finds her lesser true love so I can be free.” I started walking toward the back offices.
“Ah, right. Ash told me all about that.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “What?”
“Ash told me.”
“Ash told you...” my voice trailed off. “Ash told you I was a genie?”
“Yup.”
What the fuck? First she fucked all my friends on my soccer team. Then she told my arch nemesis I was a genie? And then she got engaged to Xander Frost? Why was she doing this to me? “I...” I shook my head. “I don’t believe you. She wouldn’t have done that.”
“She sure did. She just pulled me aside one day and told me everything. Every little secret. I think she wanted all the lies off her chest. Because she’s a good person, unlike you.”
“Whoa,” said Daphne. “That is not the whole story, Rob, and you know it.”
Rob looked a little dejected.
“Here’s what happened,” said Daphne. “Ash was freaking out because she thought she was pregnant. Apparently she’d been trying to find her lesser true love to set you free? ”
I nodded. I certainly remembered the whole pregnancy scare. Or lack of one. Since she’d been on birth control. My girl could really get in her head sometimes.
“Well, she went to Rob, hoping he had some new fancy high-tech pregnancy test. Which he pretended he did. But then Ash said it wasn’t your baby. And then got embarrassed...”
Rob shrugged.
“And then Rob must have said something that led Ash to believe he already knew your secret. So she just kind of blabbed about flaming genie penises and lesser true loves, but I think it was just because she didn’t want Rob to think she was a whore.”
I sighed. That sounded very much like Ash. I knew how uncomfortable she’d been about trying to fuck her way through New York City for me. I smiled, remembering her punching the pizza guy’s dick. The good old days. I thought I’d be more upset about someone else learning my secret. But I wasn’t mad at Ash. I knew how hard it was to be quiet about this. Moving from one town to the next so no one would suspect a thing. I never wanted Ash’s life to be as lonely as mine.
“And then Rob pretended he did have a high-tech pregnancy test,” continued Daphne. “And the two of them met at the Caldwell Halloween party so she could hear the results. And I was in the office bathroom changing my costume.” She shook her head. “And I overheard Ash and Rob talking about you being a genie. So afterwards Rob caught me up on everything. But you have nothing to worry about because Ash already made us promise not to tell. Rob dragged me into the closet tonight saying he needed proof because no one would believe him. And we were fighting about it up until you walked in. But he won’t say a word. Will you, Rob?”
Rob shrugged.
“Rob!” Daphne sounded exasperated.
“I already said I wouldn’t. But...” his voice trailed off as he stared at me. “I do have questions that need answering. What exactly is a flaming genie penis?”
“My cum lights everything on fire.”
His eyes grew round. “Wow, that sucks.”
“Yes it does. Which is why I need to get free. And I need Ash’s name to appear on my lamp. So I hope she’s fucking everyone tonight. If you’ll excuse me.” I went into my offices here to check to see what parties were going on. Ah, the Lotus party. That was a classic. I pulled up the performer list. There were some familiar names. Yup, that’s definitely where they are. The only question was – how were we going to get in?
I turned to Rob and Daphne. “It’s a girls-only event. I’m not sure how we’re going to get in. The only guys there are strippers. And I can’t be a stripper. If I get even a little aroused...”
“You’ll burn the Rome Society to the ground,” said Rob. “Fascinating. So like...you can’t have sex at all? Not even a little?”
“Not unless I want to kill someone.”
Rob shook his head. “How do you do it? I don’t think I could possibly abstain from sex. It sounds like torture.”
“I have a masturbatorium. It has state of the art tiles that can mostly handle the heat of my cum. And lots of monitors for pictures and things.” I’d spent way too much time in there thinking about Ash the last couple months.
“Babe.” Rob turned to Daphne. “I think I need one of those.”
“No you do not,” she said sternly. “And I have an idea. How about I go and you both be my servant boys?”
I smiled. “I like the way you think.” I snapped my fingers.
Daphne gasped and stared down at the gold toga she was suddenly wearing.
Rob and I were in black togas with black face masks. And we both had leashes around our necks.
“Kinky,” said Rob and handed his leash to his wife.
I did the same.
Daphne led us down the hall toward the party. And she had no trouble at all getting us in. It didn’t take us long to find Ash and her friends sitting around a sandpit watching some gladiator matches.
Ash was on the couch in her white toga. And her bridesmaids were in pink all around her. The gladiator in blue got his toga ripped off, leaving him in just a gold jockstrap.
All the girls cheered.
“Ladies, we have a winner!”
I looked over at the stage where DJ Spaceboy was holding a mic. “Octavian!” he yelled. “But more importantly…we have a loser. Cassius now belongs to you all.”
Cassius started dancing around, swinging his dick everywhere .
“The Society is wild,” said Rob. “And that’s saying something coming from me.”
One of the members of Spaceboy dressed as Apollo started shooting suction cup arrows at the girls in the audience.
A girl got hit and the stripper went up to her and started thrusting his hips in her face.
Another girl got shot by an arrow and Cassius moved on to her. The girl looked so embarrassed as he jumped on the back of the couch and danced above her. But then she reached up and pulled his jockstrap down.
He jumped down and held up a discarded toga in front of her so no one could see what was happening.
But it was pretty obvious...
No one gasped when Cassius dropped the toga and his cock was deep in her throat.
All the girls cheered.
Rob leaned in closer to me. “I bet Ash is going to be next.”
But instead, Apollo aimed his bow and arrow at Daphne.
“Are you sure about that?” I pointed.
“Ah!” Rob jumped in front of Daphne and took the arrow hit.
The stripper came over to Rob and started swinging his dick at him.
“Ah! No!” Rob tried to shoo him away, but the stripper just kept swinging his dick. “Stop it! Get away!”
I was laughing so hard. It took forever for the stripper to move away .
“I wouldn’t be laughing too hard,” said Rob. “Ash just got hit.”
“Oh shit.” I looked over to see Cassius swinging his dick in Ash’s face.
She looked super embarrassed. Her cheeks turned red and she covered her face. Another gladiator who had just lost came over to her too.
“Which one do you think she’ll blow first?” asked Rob.
I pressed my lips together and took a deep breath. Come on, baby. Suck them off for me. Let them fuck you. End this sham of an engagement.
Ash shook her head and pushed them both away.
Gah! What is happening?! This was failing miserably.
Chastity hurried over to Ash, carrying a drink with a banana slice on it.
Ash drank the whole thing down in one gulp.
I hoped that drink was magical. Because Ash really needed to start fucking everyone in this room before I snapped.
“You look tense,” said Rob.
I ignored him.
“Super tense,” he whispered very loudly to Daphne.
I turned to him. “Is this your fault?” I asked.
“Is what my fault?”
“Ash accidentally told you my secret. Did you blackmail her over that? To make her agree to marry Xander Frost?”
Rob laughed. “No. I’m sure you drove her away all by yourself.”
“You seriously had nothing to do with this? ”
Rob shrugged. “I mean, obviously every time I saw her I was very open and honest about how awful you are. And maybe I told her she could do better than you. And encouraged her to break up with you.”
I sighed. “As I do with Daphne about you.”
Daphne nodded. “Tanner does do that.”
“That’s really all you said to her?” I asked.
Rob nodded. “I swear. Just the usual stuff about you being a liar and an awful human. Or I guess an awful genie?”
I laughed.
Rob smiled.
This felt weird. I cleared my throat. “So this wasn’t some kind of elaborate prank?”
“Nah. I’ve been too busy trying to get proof that you’re a genie. Which brings me back to my questions. Is there a way to trap you in your lamp?”
“No.”
“Are you just telling me no because you’re worried I’m going to try to do it?”
“No.”
Rob laughed.
And I laughed too.
Yeah, this felt weird. Were we bonding right now? No. Never.
“So I’m confused,” said Rob. “If Ash needs to sleep with a bunch of people to free you...why is she getting married? Isn’t that kind of the opposite of what she’s supposed to be doing? She must really hate you if she wants you to stay trapped in your lamp for all eternity. ”
It seemed like he had felt the awkward bonding moment too. I was glad he went and ruined it. “I can’t get trapped in my lamp. As I’ve said. And Ash loves me.”
“I mean...I don’t know. She’s probably double fisting those cocks by now.” We both turned back toward the bachelorette party.
But I didn’t see Ash. “Wait, where did Ash go?”
“While you two were flirting, she downed two more banana juices and then got up,” said Daphne. “There.” She pointed to a redhead with an empty glass running through the crowd toward the bathroom.