Twisted Deceit (Deceit #3)

Chapter 25

Rubbing an eye with a closed fist, I shuffled towards the kitchen. My brain heard the two voices that were talking, but the sleepy, sick part of me ignored them.

It’d been so long since I felt so tired, so weak, and I just didn’t care about much of anything at the current moment.

I was pretty sure that had something to do with that magic white pill I took hours ago, but I wasn’t going to think about that either. Not when the blanket wrapped around my shoulders helped to hide the real world away.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dawn spoke first when she spotted, or maybe heard me, enter the kitchen.

I grunted, although I think it came out more as a whine than anything else.

I briefly wondered how much more pathetic I could get. But that thought slipped away as quickly it had appeared.

“Are you feeling any better?” She asked, stepping closer to feel my forehead.

Yes, but no. I shrugged, trying not to fall into her for a hug as she wrinkled her forehead.

“You’re still warm.”

My throat was still on fire, but my head wasn’t pounding as much as it had before, and everything still ached.

“I’ll warm you up with some soup. Go have a seat.”

My blurry gaze shifted towards the table. There sat Jasper, who was just watching me.His chair was facing the room, back to the wall.

Had he really stayed, and not touched me the entire time I slept?

Looking down at myself, I took note that my clothes were on. Well, my thin sleep pants anyhow. I was still without a shirt, hence why I had the blanket. Okay, I probably would have the blanket either way.

I didn’t feel like he had used me while I was unaware. That had happened way too many times in the past by others.

“Hello Koda.”

I could only blink, before rubbing my eye again.

What was wrong with me? With him looking at me like that, I felt like I was a young kid again. One where the world didn’t want to hurt me.

Of course, at that thought, my eyes began to water and my sore throat clogged up.

I hate being sick, I thought, finally getting my feet to move to the table to take a seat. Although it wasn’t where I wanted to sit, I sat on a chair and folded my arms under my head on the table. The blanket was wrapped around my arms, keeping my back warm against the air-conditioned room.

“More pain reliever,” Dawn sat down two more red pills and a cup of water. It took more effort than I had to lift my head to take them. Once I took the pills, I laid my head back down, blinking slowly at the room.

With how I was sitting, I was able to see Jasper off to the side. He shifted forward, but then sat back again.

Was I the one that made it all awkward? Most likely , my thoughts answered me.

There wasn’t much I could do to fix that issue right now, or ever.

“Is there anything you need?” He finally asked me. I think so anyways, since Dawn was busy warming food that I wasn’t exactly hungry for.

A hug? I thought, but I shook my head as another round of tears fell.

When was the last time I wanted a hug? To be touched? Sure, Dawn gave soft quick ones daily, but she never pushed for more than what I thought I could give. Before her, the only touch was when I cuddled with that boy, Asher, or when a man wanted something.

My chin wobbled.

I wanted to be held. Cared for. Loved, even.

None of that I could ever ask for. It wasn’t a need, and me being a baby wasn’t going to change anything at all.

I should have just stayed in my room, but I was lonely and my body hurt, and…...and…

“Did I do something wrong?” Jasper asked. That question must have gotten Dawn’s attention.

“I highly doubt it. He cries easily, and being sick probably just amps that up a bit.” She said it like it was normal and not an issue for her whatsoever. Which, really was true.

I hated crying, and being sick, and I just wanted something I couldn’t dare ask for. Least of all from another male.

“Food is warmed up, sweetie.” Dawn ran a hand down my back, giving me a tiny bit of the comfort I wanted as she sat a steaming bowl of soup in front of me.

Food was one of the last things I wanted right then, so I didn’t move from my position.

Dawn’s hand ran up and down my back a few times, which helped lessen the tears a little.

Her touch didn’t last nearly as long as I wanted. Dawn stepped back, another hint that I should eat before the soup got cold.

When I still didn’t move, Jasper spoke up. “You should eat. Just a few bites?”

I forced my head up, then pulled the bowl close enough to reach. Tentatively, I took a bite, letting the liquid soothe my throat.

After a few bites, hunger awoke in me like I hadn’t eaten in days. I was still careful with taking bites, knowing way too well what happened when I ate too fast.

Too engrossed in staring at the bowl, watching as the chicken and noodle soup slowly disappeared into my mouth, I jerked before quickly setting again as a hand reached out to move some of my wayward hair.

“Sorry,” Jasper mumbled, but didn’t remove his hand as he fought to put a piece of hair behind my ear. “Didn’t want you eating yourself.”

I glanced at him, forcing one last bite into my mouth before setting the spoon down on the table.

How had I not noticed him move closer? And why did I crave being in his hold so strongly?

Nothing made sense, but at least my emotions were a tiny bit more under control.

“Sorry,” he repeated, slowly taking his hand away. It took everything in me to stay right where I was and not follow the warmth of his palm.

I shook my head at myself. I was being an idiot.

Someone like me shouldn’t ever want a man to ever touch me again in any form.

“All finished?” Dawn asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I blinked with a slow nod, more than ready to take another nap. But the trek up the stairs felt like way too much work.

Dawn reached around me, with another pass of her hand along my back, and took my nearly empty bowl. I had eaten more than I thought I would.

“Do you want to go back to bed, or hang out in the living room?”

I held up two fingers. Or I’d happily just lay on the kitchen floor. But Dawn wouldn’t let me do that option, even if the floor was clean.

“I’ll help him there,” Jasper offered.

“Thanks. I’ll go grab his phone and tablet from his room.”

Why was Jasper offering to help so much? I didn’t need it, but I also didn’t want to say no for once.

Jasper stood, holding out his hand for me to take. His palm facing up, waiting. Not wanting to overthink it, my mind sluggish and body aching, I slowly reached out and placed my own hand against his much warmer one.

Why is it so cold now? He felt like a furnace compared to my own skin.

A deep part of me was torn. Half wanting to sneak up closer to Jasper’s body heat, and half wanting to pull away and tuck every piece of limb I had under the blanket.

He gave me an encouraging smile when I dared to meet his gaze before leading the way towards the living room. At that moment, I’d probably follow him to the pits of hell with how I was.

I was so far lost in my mind, slightly feverish and sick. My mind didn’t want to be an adult, and it was easy to just let someone else take the role of telling me exactly what to do. Then, I wouldn’t have to think.

Jasper led me to the couch, where I kind of just stood there clinging to his hand for a before I finally let go. With my back against the arm, I huddled into the soft cushions, eyes wide and watery as Jasper tucked the blanket around my shoulders better.

“Is there anything you need?” His voice was calm, just like always.

I shook my head, somehow able to just barely hold back another round of tears.

“I need to go check on my grandma, but I’ll be back later. And Dawn will be here for the rest of the day.”

I nodded, even though my mind repeated the words I’m fine over and over.

Maybe if I said it enough, it’d be true. I had to be fine. I wasn’t a baby. I was almost an adult. One that had been through more than anyone ever should in my life.

If I lived through hell once, I should be able to live past a stupid crappy cold.

“It’s sweet you care,” Dawn said, appearing around the corner. Thankfully, I didn’t jump, forgetting she was here for a short time. “But you don’t have to stay longer, Jasper.”

“I think someone needs more people who care,” Jasper muttered before kneeling so he was eye level. I blinked slowly, feeling like whatever he was about to say was something I should remember. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

I simply breathed. I never had a friend.

“I’ll be back in about an hour or so.” With those words, Jasper moved a piece of hair behind my ear once more. His touch lingered, telling me maybe friends didn’t exactly normally do that type of thing.

Dawn certainly didn’t touch me like that. I have never seen someone touch another like that. And tv shows didn’t count.

“I’ll bring you back a gift. You need something to hug and hold onto, don’t you think?”

Another blink, this one making it a bit more difficult to keep my eyes open afterwards.

“Good luck with that,” Dawn hedged, setting down my tablet where I could reach it if I wanted it. My phone went to the seat cushion next to where I sat. “That’s something we are working on. Accepting gifts without returning a favor or service in return.”

“There will definitely not be anything required in return.” The promise left something trying to grow inside of me. A feeling I couldn’t put a name to. Something I had maybe only felt once before.

Jasper gave me one last smile, this one a bit more tentative than the others, before he stood and left my sight.

My gaze wanted to follow him as far as I could, but my body had other ideas. A shiver wracked my form, causing me to wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders.

“Do you want the TV on?” Dawn stood in front of me, pulling my attention to her.

I half shrugged.

“Alright, well, I have a bit of computer work to finish up, so text me if you need anything at all.”

A small nod. Although I had no inkling to text her. I could take care of myself. But first, I was going to lay down and sleep until whatever sickness was out of my system. That, or I’d find my big boy pants and just deal with it.