Twisted Deceit (Deceit #3)

Chapter 29

Age 18

My birthday came and went. Dawn gifted me more clothes, cooking stuff, and a pair of wireless headphones.

The headphones would have been nice two weeks ago as I finished up cleaning through Mrs. Lee’s rooms on the bottom floor. Other than the kitchen, there was the laundry room, bathroom, living room and an office space. The two other bedrooms on that floor didn’t need to be cleaned.

Between Dawn and Jasper, they decided I was only to work two days a week since I wasn’t taking a break for lunch. On those days, one of them would stop by with some food and make sure I ate. At least neither of them demanded I stop working, and the cash was nice to have for a rainy day, I guess.

I still had no clue what I was going to do with having any sort of money. All my needs were met. I had more than enough clothes and shoes to last the rest of my lifetime.

Rubbing at my eyes, I willed the screen before me to clear up. I hated answering things, but I had to prove that I could get some sort of schooling finished.

I wasn’t sure what Dr. Shaw and Dawn came up with, but whatever it was contained a few pages of questions that I had to answer to the best ability that I could. Then, I’d get a piece of paper in the mail saying I completed all required schooling.

Going over the questions one more time to make sure they were all completed, I finally sat back and pressed the submit button.

Whatever happened next was now out of my hands.

Dr. Shaw said I wouldn’t fail; it was just a way to get a GED in a different way through some sort of program for people like me. People who were too traumatized to be in a classroom setting and to answer things.

I did look up what kind of info was on a GED test, and none of that stuff I had learned. Why did people even learn math that contained numbers and letters and lines all in one problem? Just looking at some of those problems broke my brain.

Glancing at the clock, I realized I once again forgot to eat lunch. And I was kinda sure I hadn’t eaten breakfast, either.

I wanted to say it wasn’t my fault. I just wanted to get this stuff done and over with so I could spend more time…doing something better.

The idea of possibly trying to sell my treats kept bugging me. I wasn’t sure I could do it, but maybe I’d be at least up to giving it a try. If Dawn was there, she’d be able to do all the talking and selling until I knew what to expect.

I hadn’t brought it up to her yet, but I knew she’d be supportive of it, if I wanted to give it a try.

Other than that, nothing had changed. Being eighteen wasn’t any different than being seventeen.

Thanks to Dr. Shaw, who I was still seeing twice a month now, was helping to get funding set up from some programs that were now available to me. I didn’t see the point in that, but it was one of the things I didn’t have much say in.

Sure, it was possible that someday I’d need the money to live a life on my own, and saving enough money now to buy my own place years down the road was a good idea. Although, I didn’t see myself moving out of Dawn’s place.

Her place was home. It was where I felt comfortable to be me. It was a place where the past couldn’t haunt me any longer.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had a nightmare. They didn’t happen often anyways, as I knew the past couldn’t be changed. Maybe it's just from the lucky teddy bear that I slept with every night.

So much had changed. Not just in this room – my room. But in my life.

Often, I’d sit and remember the old me. The boy who was scared of anything that raised their voice, or made loud noises. The sad boy who had no hope of living any sort of life.

The sad, lost boy was still a part of me, though. He always would be. There were moments when the tears came without a warning. It didn’t happen as often as before, but it was enough that Dawn knew to not make a big deal out of it. Those times, it usually was because I was tired and overwhelmed. Or frustrated. But still, they annoyed me.

Sometimes, at those moments, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into Dawn’s lap like a young kid and let the world fade away while she wiped the tears away.

Although, I never did that. Instead, I’d do my best to ignore them, and go about my day. Then at night, I’d hug the stuffed bear that Jasper had gotten me to my chest and cry myself to sleep, pretending that the stuffed animal hugged me back.

Shutting the lid of the computer, which was yet another gift from Dawn that I didn’t need but enjoyed more than I thought I would, I pushed the chair back. Standing, my back popped in a few places from being hunched over for way too many hours.

Giving the clock one more glance, I had about an hour before Dawn would be home. Which was more than enough time to figure out what to make for dinner.

These days, I cooked dinner on the days she worked, and on the days she had off, she cooked.

I enjoyed cooking. I made enough to give Mrs. Lee and Jasper some, too. Sometimes Trace was there too, and there was usually plenty for the three of them. But he was back to school and living with his parents so he wasn’t there often. Which was okay with me.

Downstairs, I dug out stuff to make enchiladas, one of Jasper’s favorite meals. Or maybe it was just everything I made. But I had overheard him tell his grandma he missed his Mom’s meals, enchiladas, the most. I wasn’t sure if what I made was even close to the same as hers, but it was easy enough to make, and filling.

Seeing Jasper almost every day still made me crave to seek more warmth from him. I wanted to know what it’d feel like to have his arms wrapped around me. I was intrigued by the tattoos that were on his arms.

I hummed to a song that played through the headphones, the music low enough I could hear when Dawn came home. Thankfully, she hadn’t said anything about the few times she’d caught me humming along to songs.

The headphones were definitely one of the best gifts that Dawn had gotten me. I used them almost all the time. Either to listen to music or when I was watching something. They came in handy to help keep some of the noises down in busy stores, too.

I shook my head with a small smile on my lips. I never once thought I’d enjoy being able to listen to what I wanted, when I wanted. Or to cook, or even be happy.

But then the next second, my smile fell.

There were still boys that didn’t get to have this life. Boys who were stuck at the hands of monsters. They had to live in pain and fear every minute of the day.

I was one of the lucky ones, and I was more than grateful to have the chance at life. But my heart hurt for the ones that weren’t saved.

The boys I was held with were most likely dead by now, but I shed a single tear at the loss of life they left behind.

I knew a simple person like myself couldn’t change what happened to me and others like me. But there had to be something, anything out there that could get word about the way life is unfair.

Boys aren’t the only victims of being sold, used, and abused. Girls were too.Just like it wasn’t always just men who hurt those younger and weaker than them. Females could do just as much harm, if not more.

The world was full of monsters. But in those monsters, there were good guys, too. People who fought for people like me.

I wanted to be one of them someday. Somehow, I wanted to make a change. I wanted to make a difference.

But first, I had to get over my fears.