Twisted Deceit (Deceit #3)

Chapter 37

Christmas came and went, just like all the other holidays. Dawn got me more clothes, a new bed set, and another pair of headphones. Simple things, which worked out for me.

I had more than enough clothes in the closet to last every day of the year without ever having to do laundry. But I had my favorites, and Jasper’s sweater was one of them.

I hadn’t seen or heard from him for over three weeks, which could either be a good thing or bad. He was busy, but usually I at least saw him coming home from work.

I’d seen his car maybe once, but not a single glimpse of him. And I had been watching, wanting just one more moment to see him.

But as much as he was hiding from me, I was hiding from him, too. I didn’t want to have that talk. I didn’t want to lose a person that I now considered a possible friend.

I guess, I never viewed him as a friend until I was just about to lose him.

Dawn knew something was wrong with me, but I had no words on how to explain what was upsetting me. She pressed more often than I’d like, but I had yet to utter a word.

How could someone explain that my heart was breaking slowly while my crush moved on? I shouldn’t even like him like that, yet my heart wanted nothing more than to confess my stupid feelings. Feelings that I didn’t even understand.

So yeah, trying to get those words out in any way wasn’t going to work. Not even Dr. Shaw could get me to spill the secret.

Sitting in the living room, the tablet propped up against my knees with Jasper’s sweater that kind of kept me warm as the wind swirled outside with blowing snow. I was more interested in watching the world than reading. Which was my new normal lately.

I longed for days where life could be simple. I wanted the sun to be out, where I could just be on my swing and forget about the troubles my mind was obsessed with.

I perked up, seeing the slow-moving car come past the street. A car I hadn’t seen drive past before.

Setting my tablet aside, I made my way towards the window, folding my arms across my torso as I watched. It was hard to see too well with the swirling snow, but the car parked next door, and two people got out.

I watched as two adults went straight into the house, as though they lived there.

“Whatcha you watching out there?” Dawn asked, coming up beside me and peeking around the curtain.

I lifted a shoulder, since there really wasn’t anything to watch now. But no one would be out in this weather anyways.

“Ah. That must be Jasper’s parents. Mrs. Lee said they’d be stopping by sometime.”

Guess that made sense.

“Jasper’s not there.”

“He is. His car is probably in the garage on the other side of the house.”

Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. It wasn’t a room I went in to clean. Last I saw, it was filled with too much junk to get a car of any kind in there.

But that made more sense than Jasper just disappearing, and no wonder why I hadn’t seen him for so long.

“We could go over and say hello. I was thinking about taking Mrs. Lee some soup, since she hasn’t been feeling the best lately.”

“You can.” I turned away from the window, going back to the couch.

“Did Jasper do something?”

Other than pretty much say he had feelings, then said we needed to talk? Nope. Not at all.

I shook my head.

“I wish I knew what happened, so I could try to fix it for you.”

“I’m fine.” Maybe if I said it enough, I could believe it too.

Thankfully, I was saved by whatever else Dawn wanted to talk about as her phone began to ring. She muttered something about work before disappearing back into her office.

Sighing, I tried to get my mind off of Jasper. I hadn’t succeeded so far, and I highly doubted I would anytime soon.

I’d never get the answers to why my mind and heart wanted him. Why I found safety and comfort in a male, out of everyone else in the world.

I tried to read for another few minutes before giving up, again. Instead, I picked up my phone and sent a text to Noah. At least he’d answer me.

I had yet to reach out to Asher himself. Our meeting, the one and only, felt like it was my fault. Then I broke down and couldn’t function. I felt horrible, since I never wanted any of that for either of us.

Noah – hey! Hi!

I cracked a smile. He was always happy.

Me – Question. How do I get someone out of my head?

Noah – You can’t. I tried. Keep them in your head. Unless it’s voices. Is it voices?

Me – No. My neighbor. But they...

What could I say that didn’t give it all away?

Noah – Don’t like ya that way. Got it. Well, move. Simple.

I huffed. So not an option either.

Noah – Ashie says –

My phone rang, scaring me as Noah’s name came flashing on the screen.

“Hi?” I squeaked.

“Hey! Asher! Use your own damn phone!”

I had to pull my own phone away from my ear as Noah’s voice came through.

“Koda? Hey,” Asher said, easily ignoring his friend. Or whatever they were. “Is this about Jasper?”

“Jasper! I like him. Is that who you have a crush on?”

I blushed; glad they couldn’t see me. I grunt, not wanting to deny or approve of that idea.

“I think this is where you need to talk to him, hon.”

“No thanks.”

“I ran from what my heart wanted for too long. I missed out on a lot of good things because of that. I almost lost Noah because I was too stupid to see what was right in front of me.”

“He doesn’t like me like that.” I huffed, pulling a blanket from the back of the couch and laying it over my lap. “I’m being stupid.”

“You’re human. If Jasper doesn’t want that, he’ll tell you. He won’t hide from what he knows is right to do.”

“He is hiding.” Well, so was I.

“No. He’s waiting you out. Sometimes, you have to make the first move. You’ve been through so much, Koda. Just like I have. A smart man will wait us out until we know for sure what we want, where there is no doubt. Jasper is smart, and knows you. He knows you need space, and he knows you’ll go to him when you figure out what to do. You both need to talk some stuff out, but until then, he’ll keep his distance.”

Dawn came through the house, pausing with wide eyes as she saw me talking on the phone. Or well, with the phone to my ear.

Yeah, I was just as surprised as her.

“I don’t want him to.” I muttered before I could stop the words.

“He’s good for you,” Asher went on. “But he’s stuck in his ways. As most men like him are.”

“Is that Jasper?”

I shook my head. “Friend?”

“Not to be rude, but you don’t have anyone you’ve ever talked to on there. Except for Noah and he doesn’t call.”

“That your aunt?”

Even though he couldn’t see me, I nodded. Then answered, “Yeah.”

“Put me on speaker, Kods.”

Doing so, I was stuck on the nickname.

Was it normal to be called so many different names, good ones, by people that I cared for?

“I’m Asher.”

“I’m Noah!”

“Sush. Or go. Something.”

Dawn smiled, taking a seat beside me on the couch as Noah tried to take over the phone.

“Not sure what’s going on here,” Dawn spoke, but nicely even in confusion. “And I’m thrilled my nephew has someone to talk to, I’m not sure who you are, Asher. Noah, well, I think everyone may know him by now.”

“Hi again!”

“Noah. I swear. Hold on.” There was a brief pause before Asher came back. “Sorry about that. Sometimes, his little side comes out and he forgets about rules.”

That made no sense to me at all, but Dawn must have understood a bit. Or was good at pretending to know what it meant.

“That’s alright. I’m happy to meet you, I guess.”

“We’ll have to meet each other in person soon. I’m not sure how much you know about me.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. Koda isn’t exactly the sharing type.”

“Yeah.” Asher cleared his throat. “Don’t blame him. We were together for a bit before we were saved. Anyways,” he took a deep breath, and Dawn shot me a look. One that meant I’d have to explain some stuff later. “We ran into each other a few weeks ago, but someone hasn’t reached out to me. So, I stole Noah’s phone to call and here we are.”

“I see. But how did you get Koda to talk on the phone and not just text?”

“He’s having some inner boy issues,” Asher easily supplied. “But maybe someone like you could help get him to see that if he wants something, he’ll have to do the part of asking or showing off what he wants.”

“Obviously, you haven’t gotten to know Koda well. He won’t ask for anything he wants if it’s not a need.”

I lifted a shoulder, because that was the truest thing ever.

“This thing, he’ll have to. Or he may lose the chance.”

“A boy issue, huh?” Dawn looked at me, then glanced towards the window and most likely where Jasper’s place was. “I think I got it. I may be blind to some stuff, but I should have picked up on some things before now.”

Great. I didn’t want her to know.

“We’re just good friends to help him out.” Noah again. “Daddy’s-“

“Is going to put you in time out if you don’t watch it.” Another male voice filtered through the speaker, but was far enough away that it wasn’t too loud.

Noah’s eep came through, though, then a sound like he fell or ran into something.

“I swear,” Asher sighed. “I hate the snow. Someone needs to get out of the house. Maybe tomorrow, we could make plans to meet up somewhere and hang out. Just you and me?”

“Sure.”

No. Maybe. Crap.

I didn’t think he actually wanted to meet up with me ever again.

“I’ll text you from my number so a nosey boy won’t try to tag along. But I’ll let you go. See ya later, hon.”

“Bye?”

With that, the call ended, leaving me just as confused as I had been at the start.

“Asher, huh?”

Darn it.

Lifting my eyes to her, and pushing my glasses up my nose, I knew I couldn’t get out of it. “We were held together for a bit before I was dropped off at the hospital. He’s nice. I think. I don’t know. Jasper knows him.”

“You know,” Dawn stood from the couch. “Maybe if you’d have gone to the survivor meetings, you’d have run into him sooner. And maybe others you’ve been with.”

“Asher’s the only one I knew. He was nice there. And…he’s happy now.”

I wanted to be happy, too.

“Well, I’m all for you meeting up with him. Either here while I’m around, or in public. I’d like to meet him, too. And don’t tell me you don’t want to. You need more friends.”

For once, I didn’t exactly want to fight against that. I wanted to get to know Asher on some sort of level.

If I couldn’t keep Jasper as a friend, then Asher and Noah could be decent people to become friends with. Noah already claimed me as one, and who was going to fight someone who was so very much abundantly clear I had no choice but to accept a friendship.