Twisted Deceit (Deceit #3)

Chapter 40

I hated lying, but I did it anyway. Dawn didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary, even as she checked on me before she went to bed that night.

The only thing I had to eat that day was the one protein bar when there was company.

I felt bad for ignoring them all so much, but it was easier. If it had only been Asher and Noah, I’d have paused for a bit and actually watched a movie or something. Maybe. At least I’d have enjoyed the company more than I did with too many people over.

They hadn’t stayed too much longer after Beckett had found me. And I still didn’t like that man. He made me think and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Jasper had left with them, whispered words about me knowing where to find him when, or if, I wanted to talk.

I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel.

My heart was broken, mostly by my own undoing. Now, I had to heal from that and get the man out of my thoughts.

Sitting by my window, watching the world slip away in the darkness, my gaze traveled towards his house. I couldn’t see him in there, since all the lights were off, as was mine. Not to mention, his room was on the other side of the house, so I couldn’t see him anyways.

The only room I could see into, if there was a light, was the kitchen. But even then, it wasn’t that far into the place.

Closing my eyes for a moment, I willed the monsters to not come get me tonight. I willed the past to stay far away. I could feel them creeping in, and I was trying to not let sleep pull me under.

Tonight wasn’t going to be a good one, just like so many others before it.

I should have known that the moment I meant Jasper, my life was going to be a roller coaster. It was before him, but he shook things up. And now. I was falling.

Leaning my head against the wall, my butt crying out for something softer to sit on, I blinked the dark house into focus. The moon was shaded by clouds, and the world was quiet.

I had once longed to see this view. Seeing the outside world through a window, free to explore it at my own pace. I wanted it so badly while I was held against my will in a room or basement. And here it was, yet now, I wanted so much more.

I wanted someone that didn’t want me.

I was pretty sure the only reason he came by today was because his friends did. I hadn’t asked for any of them to come over to begin with, but now it felt like I was at fault.

There have been many times where it was my fault. My fault for not being able to take a cock fast or deep enough. My fault for crying when I was so tired and worn out, yet still had to take on a client. My fault for making another boy watch while I showed him how to do something right.

Now it wasn't any different.

My fault for not being happy enough to pretend that all was right in the world. My fault for not eating enough.

Sniffing, I shifted, ready to stand and at least try to sleep. But I was stopped as bright blue and red lights flashed down our street.

Wide eyes, a new kind of worry set in.

An ambulance pulled up, stopping right in front of Mrs. Lee’s and Jasper’s house. A light flickered on, casting a glow through the kitchen, before light came through an open door.

Quickly, tripping over my feet, I rushed from my room and down the stairs. Dawn’s muttered confusion followed me as I skidded to a stop in front of the one window that looked towards the other house.

Was Jasper okay? Had he gotten hurt?

“Koda?” Dawn called, coming up behind me. “Oh.”

We both watched as well as we could through the flashing lights. They were blinding, and I wished they’d turn them off so I could see better.

Paramedics brought out a gurney, wheeling it into the house. Minutes later, it was brought back out, a form on it with blankets covering whoever it was.

“Looks like it’s Mrs. Lee,” Dawn whispered. “I’ll go see if Jasper needs a ride.”

And I’d stay here , I thought, not removing my stare from where it was pinned.

But she was right. As the gurney twisted just right, slipping into the back of the ambulance, I saw Mrs. Lee. In that one glance, she looked pale but it could have been from the lights flashing.

I hardly blinked as Dawn slipped away, and made her way towards next door, walking past the paramedic and straight to where Jasper stood, arms at his side.

It was maybe five, ten minutes at the most, for everything to happen. The ambulance disappeared the way it came, lights and siren on, leaving the area quiet and filled with dread.

With the tiny bit of light on the porch, I watch Dawn give Jasper a hug, then step away and make her way back. I didn’t turn away from the window until Jasper turned and went back into his own house, closing the door behind him.

“Koda?” Dawn flipped on a light, blinding me for a moment. “Will you be okay if I take Jasper to the hospital? I don’t think he should drive. Mrs. Lee seems to have had a stroke or heart attack.”

I nodded. Of course I’d be okay. It wasn’t like I was going to sleep well anyways.

“I’ll probably stay with him until he’s able to see her.”

“Okay.”

“Text me, and I can come back anytime.”

I nodded.

Dawn repeated the nod, grabbing what she needed before stepping out again with a quick ‘bye’. Going to the other window, I watched her get to the car and start it up, Jasper getting there moments later.

He paused long enough to spot me in the window before getting in the car. Never before had I wished that I could see his thoughts.

***

It was mid-morning when Dawn came back. I had been sitting on the couch, dozing and jerking upright at every sound that came through the house. This time, I shuffled to the front window in time to see Jasper and Dawn exit the car. Jasper’s shoulders were slouched, his entire posture filled with defeat. Whatever Dawn said, he nodded then gave a small wave her way before he trekked to his house.

He didn’t turn to look at my house. He didn’t pull out his phone. Nothing but walking into his house and shutting the door behind him.

“Hey, dear.” Dawn yawned, slipping her shoes and jacket off at the door.

I waited on edge for any sort of news. I hadn’t gotten any texts about Mrs. Lee. No hints of what was to come. Just empty quietness as I waited for hours. I figured no news was good news.

“Mrs. Lee had a stroke. Her heart is weak, but her will is still strong. Sent Jasper home when he kept falling asleep in the waiting chair by her bed.”

“She’s okay?” I didn’t know much about those sorts of issues.

“She’s stable right now. And made it comfortable. They have to run more tests, and figure out a plan. But right now, the doctors want her to stay comfortable. That’s all they can do while they wait for blood tests and all that.”

“And Jasper?” I glanced towards the house once more.

“Is tired, scared and feeling everything one would go through when a loved one has a stroke or any other health scare. He’ll be okay after some good sleep. I think his parents will be by later after they stop by to see Mrs. Lee. Until then, I promised him some soup later after we all get some sleep.”

“That includes you, Koda. Get some sleep.”

I nodded, knowing she was right.

“In a couple of hours, we can make some soup for Jasper, and whoever else happens to be at the house. And hopefully he’ll have an update and good news by then.”

***

Later that afternoon, I stood beside Dawn as she knocked on Jasper’s door. The air had a bite to it, even though the sun was shining too brightly in the sky. Spring was trying to appear, but the cold wasn’t letting up.

I had changed out of Jasper’s sweater and took a shower before heading over here with Dawn. Although I wasn’t sure if I should be standing here on this porch. I’d much rather stay home, watching behind glass and being invisible.

Jasper pulled the door open moments later, and I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands so they got stuffed into the pocket of my oversized sweater. The hood was up, hoping it’d save my hair from freezing too badly.

“Brought you some soup. Koda helped make it.”

“Thanks. Come on in.” He stepped aside, allowing us in.

As I passed him, a waft of soap and just him hit me, causing me to stumble over air. I righted myself before anyone hopefully noticed.

“Have you eaten yet?” Dawn asked, heading straight for the kitchen.

I trailed after her, keeping my clenched hands firmly in my pocket.

I didn’t feel welcome here anymore.

“No. I just woke up not long ago when my parents called. Test results aren’t good.”

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry.”

Jasper shrugged as he stepped around me and leaned against the counter. His tattooed arms were on full display. Both arms were covered in ink, a mix of things I couldn’t make out.

“It’s expected. Tough, but expected.”

“If you need anything, let me know.”

“I will, thanks. I…when it's time. There won’t be a funeral. Gram’s one wish was to not make a big deal of it. If no one wanted to make a big deal of her being alive, then why do so in death.”

“A wise woman.” A pause, and I stood there awkwardly, unsure on what to do. “She could hang on for weeks still.”

“Knowing her, yes. Just to spite my parents,” Jasper ran a hand through his hair. His eyes didn’t travel to me once, making me feel smaller and smaller by the second. “Or she could go within minutes. Who knows, but we’ll be prepared for whatever comes. I’ll be heading in to see her in a bit.”

“Do you need me to drive you?”

“Nah. I’m fine to drive now. Thanks again for that, by the way.”

“Of course. Let me know when there’s an opening for me to stop by.”

“Sure.”

Finally, Jasper’s gaze went to me, although it was for only a single moment. In that one look, I felt and saw everything he was feeling.

Pain, heartache, loss, hope, and defeat all rolled in one. His gaze was dark and tortured.

And I was pretty sure that the look in his eyes wasn’t just from losing someone he lived with. It cut into my heart, cracking the already cracked pieces even more.