Undeniable You (Sapph in the City #4)

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Jo

I was nervous as hell when I showed up at Larison’s apartment on Friday. Things had been fine with Juniper, but what was going to happen when I had to tell her not to do something? Was she going to listen to me or scream “you’re not my mom!” and stomp off to slam her door? What if something bad happened on my watch?

Something bad couldn’t happen on my watch. I couldn’t let Larison down and not just because she was hot. That wasn’t even in the top five reasons I shouldn’t let her down.

Larison let me into the building and I walked up the stairs to their second-floor apartment.

The door opened right away when I knocked.

“Hey,” Larison said and I almost fell over. Unfortunately, she was even hotter now than she’d been on Tuesday. It didn’t seem possible, yet here she was, standing there in a pair of paint-stained shorts and a baggy T-shirt that had holes in it looking like my dream come true. Hair up in a ponytail with a few strands escaping. Barely any makeup, her cheeks naturally flushed from whatever she’d been doing before she opened the door.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I was interrupted by Juniper rushing to the door.

“Hi, Jo!” She waved frantically as if I wasn’t going to see her.

“Hey, Juniper! Are you excited to hang out today?” I shifted my bag on my shoulder. I’d brought a ton of stuff with me, probably too much, but I wasn’t above bribery if a situation called for it.

She just grabbed my hand and yanked me inside. For a kid, she was strong enough that she’d pulled me off balance and I nearly crashed into Larison.

“Sorry!”

“Juniper, we don’t drag people like that,” Larison said, her hands fluttering a little as we both steadied ourselves. I set my bag down and followed Juniper into the living room. She’d set the little dragon I’d give her on the coffee table on what looked like a folded-up washcloth.

“Did you give them a name?” I asked her as we sat down together on the couch.

“Hims name is Mozzarella,” she said, patting the little dragon on the head.

“Mozzarella. That’s a great name for a dragon,” I said, glancing at Larison.

“We went through a lot of names, didn’t we? I had to list all the different kinds of cheese. Havarti was the second choice.”

I couldn’t help but snort. Havarti was also a good name for a dragon.

“Why don’t I show you where everything is?” Larison said.

“Me too!” Juniper said, getting up and taking my hand.

They both gave me a tour of the apartment and Larison gave me a rundown of rules and emergency numbers and routines. I made notes on my phone of nearly everything, just in case.

“If all else fails, just send me a message. I might be on a call, but I’ll do my best to respond as fast as I can.”

I nodded, trying to remember everything she’d told me and knowing that I wouldn’t.

“Got it.”

Juniper said she had to use the bathroom, so she scampered off and Larison took that moment to talk to me without her daughter hearing.

“If she gives you a hard time, just call me. I’ve already talked to her about respecting you and that you have as much authority as I do, but…” she trailed off.

“Yeah, I know. I’m prepared if and when that happens. Not a big deal. This isn’t my first, second, or third rodeo.” Why the hell had I said that? I sounded like a dork.

But Larison laughed. “Crap, okay, I really need to go. I have a meeting with a plumber about the toilet and then flooring is getting delivered and I wasn’t there last time and they brought the wrong order and now we’re behind and—” she was interrupted by Juniper’s return.

“Mama, I’m still hungry. Can I have a snack?”

Larison looked at her phone and I could see that she needed to get out of her.

“I’ve got this.” I told her.

“Hey, Juniper, what would you like to have?” I asked her.

Juniper thought about that. “Crackers and cheese and apples and peanut butter.”

Well then.

Larison looked at the fridge and sighed.

“Told you, I’ve got this,” I said, moving past her and starting to assemble the snack to give them a little bit of privacy. I tried not to listen, but the apartment wasn’t that big.

“Listen. I want you to be good and listen to Jo. And I’ll see you this afternoon. Say it with me: I am kind.”

“I am kind,” Juniper repeated.

“I am brave.”

“I am smart.”

“I am awesome.”

“I am going to have a great day!”

Larison had gotten progressively louder with each phrase until she and Juniper were almost yelling.

“That’s my girl,” Larison said, giving Juniper a big hug and saying something in her ear.

“Have a good day,” I said, meeting Larison’s eyes. They were a little shiny with unshed tears, but she nodded and glanced once more at her daughter.

“Bye, Mama!” Juniper said just before the door closed.

The silence in the apartment was intense.

“Hey Juniper, where’s the peanut butter?” I asked her even though I knew.

Juniper trotted over to me and pulled over a stool to reach the cabinet above the counter.

So far, she didn’t seem upset her mom had left, but it might take a while for reality to set in. I’d just have to keep her busy.

A few hours later, I wished I could take a nap. Or beg Juniper to take a nap. Because I had no idea where her energy came from, but I needed some of it. This job was going to make me up my caffeine intake.

In spite of that, I was having a great time with Juniper. We got along right away, and she seemed to respect my authority and listened to me when I explained what she couldn’t do and why she couldn’t do it. I’d always been of the mind that kids were curious, and it was better to explain why running with knives was a bad idea than to simply tell them not to do it because I was an adult and she was a child.

We also hit the library because it was one of my favorite places, and hers as well. She threw herself in my lap as I sat on a beanbag chair and kept handing me book after book. I had to cut her off eventually or else I was going to lose my voice before the day was out.

Larison had been in constant contact and I’d even held up the phone so Juniper could video chat with her at one point. I knew this wasn’t easy for her, so I kept reassuring her that Juniper and I were doing well together and that she didn’t have anything to worry about.

I wanted to visit Larison and see how the bookshop was coming along, but it seemed important to give both her and Juniper this first day apart to see how it felt.

Juniper brought Mozzarella with us and set him on my knee when I read to her. It was so cute how much she loved the little dragon. If she wanted another one, I’d get one for her. I was already thinking ahead to holidays and birthdays and wondering what it would be like to see this kid growing up.

And then I remembered that this was just for the summer. Sure, I might stay in touch with Larison and Juniper, but it wouldn’t be the same.

A lot of serious thoughts for my first official day with this kid. I was probably moving too fast, but I couldn’t help it. Sometimes you met people and could feel it in your bones that they were going to be important in your life. I’d talked with Stace before about that. She’d said she knew the minute she first saw Hunter that she’d known. Granted, Stace’s feelings were romantic, but I just really adored this little girl already.

Juniper helped me make lunch and even assisted with cleaning up. I was definitely new and shiny in her eyes and I couldn’t help but be completely charmed by her.

Before her mom got home, I decided to help Juniper burn off some energy at the park right near their apartment. I sat on the swings while she hit the slide and then the climbing structure and finally came to chill next to me, pumping her legs to go higher.

“Are you gonna take care of me every day?” Juniper asked.

“Not every day. But during the week, from Monday to Friday I am. Is that okay with you?”

She didn’t even hesitate. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

I grinned and started swinging higher to catch up with her.

It had been a good first day. No crying, no blood, no injuries. I even made sure the house looked nice when Larison returned so she wouldn’t have to deal with coming home to a mess.

“Mama!” Juniper ran to meet her mom and give her a big hug.

“Hey, how was your day, my love?” she asked, kissing the top of Juniper’s head.

“Good! We went to the library and Jo read me so many books and she also made me a grilled cheese, but it wasn’t like yours, Mama.”

“Ouch,” I said, pretending to clutch my chest as if that comment had wounded me. “I thought you liked it, Juniper.”

She turned to me. “It was okay. You should ask Mama how to make it right.”

Larison looked like she was holding back a laugh. “The secret is using half butter, half olive oil in the pan.”

I nodded. “Got it. I’ll make sure I do that next time, Princess Juniper.”

Larison looked tired, but she let Juniper tell her about our day and I wondered if I should leave and give them some privacy. It was a hard balance to strike, when you worked in someone else’s home. Boundaries got murky pretty quickly.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked Larison.

She waved me off. “That’s not your job. I’m good.”

It was definitely time for me to go home, but I wasn’t ready to leave yet.

“Can you say goodbye to Jo?” Larison prompted and Juniper ran over and gave me a hug.

“Thanks for hanging out with me today. We had fun, didn’t we?” I asked her.

“Will you come over tomorrow?”

I shook my head. “No, but I’ll see you on Monday. Remember, anything you want to tell me, you tell Mozzarella and I’ll hear it.”

Juniper looked over on the couch where we’d made a little nest for Mozzarella out of blankets.

She nodded. “Okay.”

I stood up and faced Larison. “She did really well today. Just so you know. Did you have a good day?” It was really important that I knew how her day was before I left.

She nodded, running her fingers through Juniper’s hair.

“Yeah, it was good.” She lowered her voice and leaned closer. “I only had to pull myself together in the bathroom twice.”

“It’ll get easier,” I said, as if I knew anything about this.

Larison sighed. “I hope so. I don’t know why it was different when she was in preschool, but it was easier when I was in class and so wrapped up with homework and everything else. I don’t know.” She shook her head and smiled, and my heart did that tripping thing again. Oh no. There was that attraction again. Bad timing. Very bad timing.

Time to leave ASAP.

“Okay, well, have a good weekend,” I said, rushing to grab my bag and knowing how fake and cheery my voice sounded but I needed to GO.

“Bye, Juniper!” I waved and she waved back at me before I was through the door and all but running down the stairs and out into the stifling summer heat.

I sucked in a deep breath that tasted of car exhaust and pavement and other city smells. Gross, but it helped clear my head a little bit.

After a few seconds of getting myself together, I looked around and had to remind myself where I’d parked my car. Larison’s apartment was just a little too far from my place to walk every day. Good thing I was only doing this for the summer because it would have been a pain to get here in the winter.

I stopped at the grocery store to get some dinner before I went home. It was nice getting done with everything with plenty of daylight to get things done if I wanted to. If only I had the energy. I was wiped. Under normal circumstances I would have gone to hang out at Sapph with Reid, but since she was working only a few shifts every now and then, my nights at the bar had decreased.

My other friends were so coupled up that they would rather spend time with their significant others and more horizontal activities than dealing with the summer mayhem at Sapph. I didn’t really blame them. Summers at Sapph were wild. The tourists in town added a whole new reckless and chaotic dimension that could be fun and could be extremely un-fun.

A Friday night in wasn’t a complete disaster and I was used to it. At least I had plenty of time for reading and didn’t have to spend the whole night on homework or stress-eating salt and vinegar chips in the glow of my laptop screen as I struggled to edit one of my papers.

Tonight I could read all I wanted, which felt like an indulgence.

Reid sent me a message and asked what I was up to and how the first day had gone. I was assuming that she’d heard Larison’s side via Sophie, but I wasn’t going to ask if Larison had said anything about me.

First day was great. Juniper is an awesome kid and we got along like two peas in a pod. Please thank Sophie again for suggesting this job. I think it’s going to work out. I was probably jinxing myself by saying that so soon, but I wanted to be more optimistic. First step was to stop always going to the worst-case scenario. I was going to take a leaf out of Sophie’s book and think positive. Seemed to work for her.

Sophie says your welcome and that Larison has already given you a rave review.

It was a relief that no one could see me blush when I read that message. To think that Larison was pleased with me felt way too good. I didn’t think of myself as a glutton for praise but hearing that she’d been talking about me to Sophie was better than just about anything, and that included brownie batter ice cream.

The feeling is mutual I responded to Reid. I couldn’t gush too much about Larison or else Reid was going to get suspicious and see lust written all over my face. I wasn’t that great at lying and Reid knew me really well. I wouldn’t be able to hide much from her, so I’d have to just avoid the topic until I stopped wanting Larison. This fire inside me that ignited when we’d met would go out. It had to.

While at the library with Juniper, I’d spotted a few new releases that I wanted to read myself, so I’d grabbed them before we left. When I’d been in school, most of my reading had been put on hold so now I had a massive list of books that I’d had to put off reading until now. It didn’t help that so many of my friends were big readers and were always giving me recommendations.

Not to mention there was Eloise, who literally wrote romances and would sometimes pawn extra copies off on the rest of us. As if there weren’t people who paid lots of money for her signed books in online auctions.

I was drowning in books, but it was a problem I was happy to have. One thing my mom had done, even when she’d been so tired her eyes were barely open, was read to me. Every night that she could. She’d named me for two of her favorite literary characters. Her own dream had been to be a librarian, but between financial difficulties and a few undiagnosed learning disabilities, it wasn’t in the cards for her.

I’d encouraged her to try anyway, but she always said that sometimes you had to give up your dreams in the face of reality.

One promise I’d made to myself was that I wouldn’t do that. And that I wanted to help other people discover the world through books. Reading was so important. It was an essential skill and one that I never took for granted. I’d done some volunteering at an adult literacy organization and saw the difference it made.

I couldn’t change things for my mother, but I could change things for someone else and that would have to be enough.

I had to get my degree first, though, and the way to do that was by keeping my new job and NOT lusting after Larison and getting fired.

This wasn’t going to be easy.