Undeniable You (Sapph in the City #4)

Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Jo

Larison’s mother was having surgery, so I’d been tasked with distracting Juniper. I told Larison that I’d bring Juniper to the hospital and wait with them, but she’d turned that idea down. Instead I’d be waiting until Larison told me that Allison was out of surgery and I’d bring Juniper over for a quick visit. The hospital was only ten minutes away, which was lucky.

One of my other tasks was fielding all of Juniper’s questions and worries. Larison had explained the surgery already and Juniper was very interested in the medical part, but the idea of it was still scary for someone little.

“Jo Jo?” she asked just after I’d gotten the message that Allison was officially in surgery.

“Yes, PJ?” I asked. The nickname had come naturally, and Juniper seemed to love it. A special little thing that only the two of us shared.

“Is MeeMee going to be okay?”

We were both at the dining table coloring. It wasn’t fair that coloring was seen as just an activity for kids. Coloring was the best.

“Yes, she’s gonna be fine,” I reassured her for the fourth time. I’d explained that surgery took hours and that Larison would let us know as soon as it was over and how things had gone. “She’s going get a brand new hip and she’s gonna feel so much better.” I had done a bunch of research on hip replacements just so I could assuage some of her fears.

“Okay,” Juniper said, going back to her picture and coloring with intense concentration.

We were both quiet for a little while.

“If you get scared, you just tell Mozzarella, okay?” The little dragon was now an essential friend. Larison told me that he accompanied her in the bath and she tucked him in with Juniper every night. I loved how much she adored the little guy.

Juniper thought about that and then leaned down to whisper something to Mozzarella.

Juniper looked up at me. “Did he tell you?”

I shook my head. “No. He doesn’t tell me if you’ve got a secret. Only the things you want me to know.”

Juniper nodded, as if that made sense. Kids were so accepting that way.

About two hours later, Larison finally called and said that Allison had gotten through her surgery.

“The doctor said it went perfectly and she’s in recovery right now. Big relief. If you want to bring Juniper over, you can.”

Juniper jumped up and down.

“We’re on our way, aren’t we, PJ?” I said.

“Great. Love you, baby!” Larison yelled.

“Love you, Mama!” Juniper yelled.

It was a little stressful driving Juniper in my car for the first time, but we got to the hospital in one piece and I parked in the garage, which Juniper thought was really cool for some reason.

“Hey, why don’t we stop at the gift shop and get something for MeeMee?” In hindsight, I should have gotten Juniper to make Allison a get-well card, but it was too late to do that now. Maybe they had something in the gift shop that Juniper could sign. I had crayons in my bag. For emergencies like this.

“Presents for MeeMee!” Juniper cheered as we moved through the automatic doors and swung a right toward the gift shop on the first floor.

I found a simple card and Juniper picked out a stuffed bear that was probably meant as a present for new babies, but it was what she wanted to get, so I wasn’t going to rain on her parade.

In the hallway, I had Juniper sign the card and draw hearts on the envelope.

It was a little odd to be coming with her to something that involved just the family, but someone had to be in charge of Juniper. Once I passed her over to Larison, I’d just make myself scarce until it was time to take Juniper back.

The hospital had a lovely garden out back, as well as a cafeteria. The food probably wasn’t that bad.

“Okay, here we are,” I told Juniper once we rode the elevator to the right floor.

I paused outside the door and peered in. There was Larison.

“Mama!” Juniper let go of my hand and ran into the room, flinging herself at Larison.

“Hey, love,” Larison said, holding onto Juniper. I hovered outside until Larison waved her hand for me to come in. Shaking my head, I stayed where I was.

Larison gave me a look, similar to the one that she gave Juniper when she was losing her patience.

That look would get me to do anything, and I stepped into the room as if she’d pulled all of my strings at once.

Juniper climbed into bed with Allison, who was awake and looking much better than I thought she would. Lara sat in a chair next to her, holding her hand. It was an intimate scene that made me feel like an intruder.

The last time I’d seen both Lara and Allison, it had been the day of my interview. The day I’d met all of them.

Juniper gave Allison the little bear and Allison said how much she loved it, along with the card.

Juniper wiggled on the bed and I was about to tell her to be careful, but Larison beat me to it. Right. She was the mother here. I was just Juniper’s ride. A glorified taxi service and emotional support system today.

“Thank you for taking care of our Juniper,” Lara said, looking at me.

“Oh, uh, of course. It’s my job.” The praise made my face red and I really thought it was time for me to leave, thankfully a nurse came in and I stepped into the hall then. There was a chair right near the door, and I sunk into it and let the family have their time. I was just catching up on my social media accounts when I felt someone standing next to me. Looking up, I found myself meeting Larison’s eyes.

“Thank you so much for everything. I know you said you’re doing your job, but…I’m just really glad you’re here.” Her voice broke and tears spilled down her cheeks.

Before I knew that I’d moved, I put my arms around her and held her as she cried softly on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she kept saying as I rubbed her back.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” I just kept repeating myself as she cried. I had tissues, but they were in my bag on the floor and I didn’t want to let go of her to get them.

She could hold me as long as she wanted to. Closing my eyes, I tried not to think too much about how good she felt and how nice her hair smelled. I may or may not have let myself have a little sniff of the conditioner in her shower once. Just once.

Larison sniffled and then let me go, stepping back with red, puffy eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry,” she said.

“It’s fine. I promise it’s fine.” She was about to say something else when I heard someone call her name. We both turned to see Sophie walking down the hall with a vase of flowers.

“Hey, Soph,” Larison said, wiping her eyes and stepping further away from me.

“You didn’t get back to me, but I decided to show up anyway. How is she doing?”

I moved away to let them talk after saying hello to Sophie. She knew the family much better than I did. Digging through my bag, I found my pack of tissues and handed it to Larison.

“Oh, thanks,” she said, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose.

“Yeah.” I sat back down, but then Juniper ran out and looked around before coming over to me.

“Where did you go, Jo Jo?” she asked.

“I was just out here. Sometimes it’s nice to have just your family around you.” Her little face screwed up with confusion.

“But you’re family.”

Oh. Oh, my heart. This kid was too precious for this world.

I blinked a few times, trying not to cry.

“That’s a really nice thing to say.” I was losing the war on tears and had to look away for a second to get myself together as Juniper skipped back into the hospital room.

I looked up at the ceiling and took a few deep breaths. Larison had taken Sophie in to say hello and to deliver the flowers. It was so sweet that Sophie had showed up to support her friend. She really was the best. Reid told me all the time that she didn’t know why Sophie was with her, and then I had to remind Reid of all of her wonderful qualities.

How’s everything going? She must have sensed me thinking about her. The message from Reid couldn’t have had more coincidental timing.

Sophie is here and I’m sitting in the hall and trying not to feel weird about it. I barely know these people and I don’t want to make things weird.

It was a relief to tell Reid about my insecurities.

They wouldn’t have asked you to be there if they didn’t want you there. You’re an important part of Larison’s and Juniper’s lives now.

That was true. Even though it had only been for a short time, I’d folded myself into Larison and Juniper’s lives pretty seamlessly. At least I thought so.

The boundaries were definitely blurred now, and I didn’t think there was a way to unblur them. Even if I wanted to put up walls, how did I do that? If Larison sent me a message at night, I wasn’t going to ignore her. Maybe I should? No, that would just be rude. And then it might make things awkward between us and I didn’t want that.

There was no easy way out of this entanglement. Especially when I was more than happy to be completely entangled. Larison could wrap me up in all kinds of things and I’d just smile and thank her.

Not in a kinky way (although that had its appeal), but in the way that I knew that this wasn’t just a summer job. You didn’t sink into someone’s life like this and then just exit stage left and never talk again.

We were all entwined.

Larison came out again with Sophie and Juniper.

“Can you help me get this one to eat?” Sophie said, jabbing her thumb in Larison’s direction. Shit. I should have thought about that.

Larison rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Are you? Because I’m betting you haven’t eaten today. I know you, Larison. You’ve been worried and you didn’t eat.” Sophie rubbed Larison’s arm.

“Why don’t we all go down to the cafeteria?” I suggested. I’d fed Juniper lunch a while ago, but she could have a snack.

“Are you hungry, PJ?” I asked Juniper.

“Uh huh.” She held onto Larison’s hand as we walked to the elevator.

Once I got a chance to study Larison with more objective eyes, I noticed how pale and tired she looked. Obviously this surgery had taken a toll on her. Right then and there I decided that when I brought Juniper back to the house, I was making dinner for both of them. Something quick and filling like a veggie chicken soup that they could have for a few days. And bread. And cheese.

The cafeteria had plenty of options and Juniper helped me fill a tray with what she wanted while Sophie took charge of Larison.

The four of us sat together and it was like Larison had wilted into her chair.

Juniper still had tons of energy and as soon as she finished her snack, and I ate the rest, I suggested that we go outside and look at the garden.

“Why don’t you stay here? Or you could sit on one of the benches?” Larison met my eyes and gave me a smile that was so intense that my heart definitely stopped for a second. Fuck. I wanted to take care of her. I was already caring for her daughter, but I craved caring for both of them.

The gardens were lovely and full of butterflies and bees. Juniper skipped around and followed the butterflies as Sophie took Larison to a nearby bench. I stayed with Juniper to make sure she didn’t hurt herself or get stung by a bee or something.

Larison and Sophie talked softly, and I was relieved when Larison laughed. That was good. Still. I saw her rolling her shoulders in the way she did when she’d had a long day.

“Jo Jo?” Juniper asked, drawing my attention away from her mother.

“Yes, PJ?” I asked.

“What do bees dream about?” she asked, completely throwing me off. Kids were so funny that way. One minute they were asking you if they could have more ice cream and the next they were asking you about the nature of reality.

It took me a moment to come up with a good answer. Larison always entertained Juniper’s curiosity and I did the same. I never wanted her to lose it. The world could be an unkind place to curiosity like that.

“I bet bees dream of flowers. Endless fields of delicious flowers, as far as the eye can see. All kinds of flowers. A buffet so they can try each and every one of them until they’re so full that they can’t fly anymore.”

If I was a bee, that’s what I’d dream about.

Juniper watched me as I told her and then smiled. “Okay!”

She skipped off again and I shook my head, glancing back over at Larison and Sophie. They were hugging and I couldn’t fight a flash of jealousy that went through me at seeing Larison taking comfort from someone else.

Mentally, I smacked myself for giving in to that petty emotion. Larison was allowed to hug anyone she wanted. Seek comfort where she could. I had no claim on her.

I was just the nanny.