Undeniable You (Sapph in the City #4)

Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Larison

My nap had messed up my sleeping schedule, so I wasn’t as tired at my usual bedtime. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d stayed up past nine-thirty, so I decided to go for it. Live it up.

Made some tea and ate the rest of my second piece of cheesecake and read until my eyes absolutely would not stay open anymore.

I didn’t get as much done as I’d planned, but then I hadn’t had a video call with Jo on my itinerary. That had been a pleasant surprise. We hadn’t really talked like that before and it had been both comfortable and exciting at the same time. Jo had this way of giving you her full attention and it was hard to resist.

I’d give up some of my reading time for more time like that with Jo. There was an ease in talking with her that made me forget that I technically paid her and she was an employee. Our conversation had been one between friends, but not between friends. There was an edge, at least on my end, of something else. I didn’t speak to Sophie that way. There had been an undercurrent the entire time that things could take a turn and I could slip into flirting with her. I’d had to consciously hold myself back from saying anything that would cross the line. I couldn’t cross the line with her.

I’d have to be more careful. More professional. Speaking to Jo like a friend might be easy, but that didn’t mean it was right.

The next morning, I slept in for the first time in ages. In years, possibly. I woke gently as the sun spilled across the floor from a few cracks in my curtains. Silence. More silence. No one to ask me for anything, but at the same time there was no warm and drowsy body to cuddle with under the covers. No one to stroke my hair and get me excited about the day.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. Wincing, I got up even though I hadn’t had any sort of exercise on my list of things I wanted to do this weekend, but it should have been.

I got dressed and walked to a coffee shop to get an expensive coffee and a fancy breakfast sandwich that I sat at a tiny table in the window with so I could sit and watch everyone walk by. I got a second coffee and finished that while I soaked in the atmosphere around me and then walked around the neighborhood slowly.

There was no rush. Nowhere to be. No one that needed to be picked up or tended to.

When I got back to my apartment, I did some cleaning and attempted a Pilates workout in my living room that absolutely kicked my ass after ten minutes but I struggled through the rest and hopped in the shower.

I was picking Juniper up in a few hours and then I’d be back to mom mode. Weekends always moved the fastest when you were trying to savor them.

All of my focus went to reading until an alarm on my phone went off and I saw it was time to pick up my daughter.

As I stood up from the couch and stretched my now-sore body (why was Pilates so hard?), I said goodbye to my weekend. Someday I’d get to do it again. Maybe when Juni went to college.

Juniper jabbered all the way home about her weekend and I let her go. As much as I’d appreciated the silence, I did love having my little magpie back.

“What did you do, Mama?” she finally asked when she’d exhausted all her words about what she’d done.

“Oh, not much. Just read some books and cleaned the house. Nothing special. I talked to Jo for a little bit and she said she missed you and she’s excited to see you tomorrow.”

“Jo Jo!” Juni cheered. “I miss my Jo Jo.” Of course she’d claimed her. In a way, Jo was hers.

“Well, you’ll get to see her so soon.”

“Jo Jo,” Juniper whispered. She was so freaking cute.

My parents had also taken Juniper to the beach on Sunday, so she’d been all tuckered out and crashed early that night. I got her in bed and went out to the living room, wondering how it was a mess again when it had been spotless this morning.

Instead of dealing with it, I sent Jo a message before even considering if it was appropriate.

Juniper loves that hippo now. She made me show her more and more pictures and has demanded that she wants to go visit for her birthday. Do you know how expensive plane tickets to Thailand are?!

I hoped she laughed when she read that. Her response came a few moments later.

I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Oh, if you’re going to Thailand, can I come?

I wished I could see her face. Hear her voice. Her laugh. She was so unexpectedly beautiful.

I’m not sure. Are you small enough to fit in a suitcase? I asked.

For a trip to Thailand? Sure. I’ll fit.

I laughed and then slapped my hand over my mouth. Sometimes Juniper was a light sleeper and I’d trained myself not to make too much noise so I didn’t wake her up. If I did, she insisted on coming into bed with me and I got to spend the night with her tossing and turning and even smacking me in the face. It wasn’t the recipe for a restful sleep.

Sorry, it’s late. I should be getting to bed. I sent.

It’s not that late. I’m a bit of a night owl thanks to school. Too many nights spent writing papers into the wee hours and reading research.

Thinking about being back in school and those late nights made my stomach unsettled. I did my best not to think too much about the fact that I’d dropped out of school. It wasn’t comfortable admitting that was what I’d done. I mean, I guess I could say that I’d put my education on pause, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to finish my degree and run a bookstore at the same time. The odds of even seeing a profit in the first few years were slim.

Oh no, not again. The dooming and glooming. Screw that.

Sometimes I miss that. I don’t miss doing my best to focus while my daughter demands that I watch her new dance moves, but I do sometimes miss the challenge of it.

It didn’t feel strange admitting something like that to Jo. She wasn’t a parent, but for some reason I thought she understood.

You know, I worry that when I’m done with school, when I’m not forced to consume all this academic content and not constantly challenged, that my brain is going to stop working as well. Isn’t that silly?

No, it wasn’t silly. I’d thought the exact same thing. It was one of the reasons why I was so adamant about reading as much as I could. I didn’t want to let go of the drive to learn more. To know more. To improve. Plus, someday my daughter was going to come to me with homework and I was determined to help her with it.

I sent Jo another message and then I was right back into it. Glued to my phone, desperate for her next message, desperate for any second of her attention that I could get. I sucked it in like a dry sponge soaking up a spill and gorged myself on everything she shared with me.

So very unprofessional and wrong and right and wonderful.

Jo and I didn’t even need to talk about anything serious and I still wanted to know what she thought. I’d never been so desperate to know someone’s opinions on anything and everything. When she was a kid, what had she wanted to be when she grew up? Lots of pillows on the bed or less? If she could vacation anywhere, where would she go? I wanted to know all of it.

Just a few minutes ago I’d been tired but now, talking to Jo, I wasn’t so tired anymore. Giddy energy fizzed in my veins as we sent rapid fire messages back and forth almost not even waiting for the other one to respond and creating chaos. I kept trying to slow down but I couldn’t. I had so many things I wanted to say to her. It was as if I’d opened the floodgates and everything had spilled out and I couldn’t make it stop. If she hadn’t been as enthusiastic in her messages I might have been worried, but she was writing as many back to me.

Before I knew it, the hours had ticked by and I seriously needed to get to bed. I went through my nighttime routine and kept talking to Jo as I brushed my teeth and washed my face and put on my pajamas and did a quick check on Juniper.

I got into bed with my phone as the only light in the room and kept trying to tell Jo goodnight, but then couldn’t follow through.

Oh my god, it is seriously late. I need to get to sleep if I’m going to be awake enough to take care of Juniper tomorrow. Sorry for keeping you up! She sent and I knew she was right.

You weren’t keeping me up. Not a big deal. I slept in this morning anyway. See you tomorrow?

See you tomorrow She responded.

I set my phone aside and sighed.

This was really getting out of hand.