Vampires of Eden (Alexander #2)

24. Alexander

CHAPTER 24

Alexander

D anny told me to try listening to my nature. The irony here is that it’s impossible to not listen, because it screams at me, loudly, like a PA system making intrusive announcements over the chaotic bustle of an airport. I know what it’s telling me because the message echoes clearly all throughout my body.

The hard part is accepting it. To shamelessly embrace what it’s telling me.

Everything about my interaction with Oliver felt organized and controlled. From the start, he was neatly presented to me as a profile in a professionally-bound dossier. Like the catalog for a high-end furniture brand. My parents said, “Here. These are the most suitable décor options for the home we’ve established. Pick whichever one you like.”

And so, I did.

This situation with Daniel is completely different.

With him, it’s like I’ve been thrown into the wilderness. No catalog, no rules, no parameters. My nature is feral and doing whatever the fuck it pleases and I really… I don’t know how to handle this. For a lot of reasons.

Our ranks are different. He says he doesn’t despise me anymore, but there’s lingering resentment toward purebreds in general, without question. As there should be, given what he’s been through.

Daniel is also older—not old by any means, but definitely more mature than me. More experienced.

On paper, nothing about us matches up.

But when we talk… When we’re sitting together and his hand is in mine, it just feels good . Right, somehow. Daniel is like a river to me, flowing dark and sweet under a moonlit autumn sky and reflected in the stars.

What do I do with these feelings sparking through my body? My nature has a lot of fucking nerve—like it exists inside of me, but it’s also much braver than me and what I’m actually capable of.

And how far does this go? How much does Danny like me? Enough to hold my hand and sit with me. Enough to have these meaningful conversations where we peel back the complicated layers of our lives.

Enough to kiss me?

To become part of my complicated and demanding social life in Central Eden?

What about sex? Feeding and mating?

I’ve only had sex a couple of times and it was not great. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I went in, pretending as if I did because I wanted Oliver to be confident in me. I could never pull that shit with Daniel. He’d see right through me and it’d be a disaster.

I want to listen to my nature, but it feels like it’ll only lead us both to ruin. If I lean into this instinct and let it sweep me away… If I let myself fall in love with Daniel and intrinsically desire him, where will I end up?

Broken again. Crying at random. Not wanting to get out of bed.

I finally feel like I’m a little bit whole. Slowly, day by day, I’ve been pieced back together. The lines and cracks are still pronounced, but I’m functioning. I wish my nature would be grateful for this much and recognize how far I’ve come.

Why is it demanding more? Why does it want something that’s impossible?

“Sex is overrated.” Frowning, Daniel lays the unfolded paper with the simple statement near the basket he pulled it from. He considers, then grabs one of the three open bottles of wine and pours himself a generous serving. “Disagree.” He sets the bottle down and takes hold of his glass. I watch as he swirls the liquid and dips his face to the rim. He inhales. “The notes are blackberry and cacao?”

“Spot on,” Leoni says, smiling. “You’re getting so good at this.”

“That card was yours.”

She shrugs. “Duh. It’s not a secret that I feel that way. But it is an unpopular opinion. Alexander?” Leoni turns to me expectantly and with her eyebrow raised. “Agree or disagree?”

I stare at the basket full of our “unpopular opinions” centered in the table. It’s the end of week one, and part of my vineyard education program is wine tasting. Leoni has combined this task with my welcome party. Daniel also made a delicious vegan pesto, spinach and tomato pasta.

Somehow, the tasting has turned into a drinking game that they like to play when a third vampire is around. “This got racy fast,” I comment, lifting an eyebrow. “And I’m serious—I’m silly when I drink. Raphael thinks I’m missing the normal vampiric chromosome that makes me immune to the effects of alcohol.”

“You don’t have to answer the question if you don’t want to,” Daniel says coolly, then lifts his glass to his lips. When he finishes, his lilac eyes land on me once more. “No pressure.”

“You can be silly here, Puercoespín,” Leoni says. “I hope you know that this is a safe space for you. We don’t judge. ”

“I know.” Truly, I do feel safe here, and the atmosphere is welcoming and humble in a way I’ve never experienced anywhere else.

“Did you know that I turned down three official arrangements?” Leoni asks.

Blinking, I sit up straighter in my chair. My voice jumps an octave because I’m genuinely shocked. “Three? How the fuck did you get away with that ?”

“It wasn’t easy.” Leoni lifts her finger, then carefully traces the rim of her empty wineglass. “The first one they arranged, I locked myself in my room. I didn’t feed for weeks and I told my parents that I refused to mate with a literal stranger. They made exceptions after that and let me get to know the vamps they’d chosen.” Leoni shakes her head. “I still didn’t want them. After a while I developed a reputation for being ‘difficult.’ My parents couldn’t get anyone else to try with me, so they let me come here. Thank you, baby Jesus.”

“Wow,” I say, truly amazed. “I’ve never thought of outright refusing my mother. You’re a brave vampire.”

Leoni chuckles. “Your madre is ambitious, the eldest and definitely more ferocious than my mama. I think I’d be scared to refuse her too. I don’t blame you.”

Feeling validated, I nod. “Thanks. I agree with your unpopular opinion.”

Leoni blinks as if she’s surprised. “You think sex is overrated?”

“Well,” I consider, folding my arms. “I’ve only done it a couple times and it was just alright. Awkward. It definitely was not the passionate and steamy event that TV, books and movies make it out to be.”

Having emptied his glass, Daniel reaches across the table for a different bottle. “The passionate and steamy stuff can be real with the right vampire. Sometimes, it takes practice and communication to properly learn your partner. When you do, making love and giving and receiving pleasure is phenomenal.”

The flash of fire in my groin makes my mouth go dry as I watch him pour the deep maroon liquid into his glass. Leoni eyes him too, smiling. When the silence is obvious, Daniel looks up. “What?”

Leoni’s expression is smug as she reaches for the wicker basket of folded papers. “Not that you’re trying to convince anyone for your own personal agenda.”

“Shut up.”

“Why are you taking another drink?” I ask him. “I thought the rules were that you only had to do one tasting if you disagreed?”

He pauses with the glass halfway to his lips, practically snarling at me. “Because I’ll do what I want. Fuck rules.”

“Now, now,” Leoni says, unfolding the paper. “Don’t take your frustrations out on him. Find your Zen. I’ll read the next one. It says, ‘Cats are better than dogs’” She drops the paper and chuckles. “You’re so cute, Puercoespííín.”

I lift my chin, feigning insult. “How do you know that’s mine?”

“Who else has cats on the brain in perpetuity?” Daniel shakes his head as if he’s annoyed.

All week, we’ve been doing yoga together in the mornings. He helps me stretch and my eyes alight every single time, but he’s never offended by it. We’ve been working well together at Kat and Roland’s, too. Seamlessly as we laugh, talk and joke.

Today, though, he’s been snapping at me and it reminds me of how we were in the beginning. I don’t know what’s wrong or what I’ve done, but it’s noticeable.

“I agree with you about cats,” Leoni says. “But I want to drink anyway.”

“Same,” Daniel agrees, looking uninterested. “See? Not an unpopular opinion. Do better .”

Frowning, I take the next folded paper from the basket. “This is my first time playing and I didn’t know how provocative it would get. I decided to play it safe!” When I unfold the paper, Daniel’s elegant scrawl is neatly arranged in the center of the small rectangle. I read. “‘Feeding is more intimate than sex’… Welp, for sure my responses are more suitable for the thirteen and under edition of this game. Next time we play, I got it.”

Leoni sits back and folds her arms as her brow furrows. “Hm, this is an interesting one. As someone who prefers feeding from bags, I think I’m gonna have to disagree.”

“Not when it’s a bag,” Daniel clarifies. “When it’s done from the body of another vampire. Think about it more deeply. Anyone and anything can have sex, yes? But as vampires, we’re the only species on this planet that can nourish each other by giving our blood. We’re capable of sharing our bodies and the unique, supernatural life essence that flows through us. It’s an exceptional kind of intimacy that only we can indulge in.” Having made his point, Daniel shrugs, then sits back.

Leoni lifts her glass. “Alright, I can see the logic in that. Well said.”

“Thanks,” Daniel sighs. “But sex is nice too.”

“Aye aye aye, someone get me a bucket of ice water.”

“What are your thoughts?” Daniel asks me.

“I agree with you,” I admit. “Feeding is an emotional act. Intimate thoughts and feelings are directly conveyed to the other vampire—and it’s possible for our essence to be released and freed. I’ve read on the Internet that having your aura pulled by another vampire is like nothing else in this world. The pleasure, I mean.” I take a deep breath. Look at me, raising the stakes. I need to make up for my too politically correct submissions.

Daniel raises an eyebrow. “You read this on the Internet?”

“I’ve never experienced it, personally.” I chuckle. “Ollie barely wanted to touch me—of course we never got that far.” Curious, I look at Leoni. “Have you experienced it?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. Have you, Danny?”

“Have I what?”

“Pulled or been pulled?” Leoni clarifies. “Your essence.”

Daniel inhales, briefly glancing at me in an odd moment before he looks away. “First-gen vampires can’t experience it the same way as you purebreds do, because our vampiric essence isn’t potent enough. But we can pull it for you, obviously, and the pleasure of that—of satisfying a powerful being that you intrinsically desire and whose enchanting nature calls to you—is also, ‘like nothing else.’”

A silence rests over the table. I don’t know about Leoni, but quietly, I marvel. Daniel speaks confidently and with experience, which means he’s done this before. Likely for Josefina.

“Hey, Alexander.”

Surprised and lost in my thoughts, I glance up and meet Daniel’s milky eyes regarding me softly. His fingers brush my wrist atop the table. “Yeah?”

He smiles. “If you keep agreeing with us, you’ll never get to taste the wine.”

I have a strong urge to flip my hand and hold his, like we often do now when we’re alone. We don’t talk about it, but it just… happens. We’ll be sitting on the back porch at Kat and Roland’s and somehow, his hand will find mine as we quietly observe the woods and the sun disappearing behind the trees. Or we’ll be watching TV on the couch and I’ll take a chance and reach for his. He always accepts me. No hesitation.

It’s become this unspoken and yet completely natural behavior between us. I can’t explain it, but it feels reassuring. Like I’m floating alone in the infinite dark of the cosmos, then suddenly, I’m not. There’s another star beside me. Warm and bright and wonderful.

I don’t flip my hand over because Leoni is here, watching us like a hawk and I’ve been well-trained in resisting any kind of public displays of affection. So instead, I keep my hand still and nod. “True. I would like to taste it, at least.”

And I do taste it. I get my fill over the next few questions because I naturally disagree with everything being pulled from the basket.

“Chicken empanadas are the best fried food.” No .

“Captain Kirk is better than Picard.” A direct and personal attack. Disagree.

“Summer sucks, it’s too hot.” Also disagreed. I like summer.

I don’t stop taking sips until four additional questions later, when finally, “Arranged matings should be banned,” pops up, which I fully agree with. By this time, my brain is light and swimming inside my skull like an apple bobbing in a barrel of water. I’m laughing too much and my face is overly warm. Absolutely flushed.

I don’t even care.

“Someone is toasted,” Daniel observes, grinning with his full glass in hand. He’s given up on the rules completely, the cheeky bastard… the sexy, snarky prodigy. God, I wish he’d play the piano. I’d listen to him play anything. Chopsticks. Fucking scales. “You warned us, didn’t you?” he goes on, smiling way too much for my comfort.

Lifting a palm, I close my eyes and cover my face because my nature is churning in my groin and it’s only a matter of seconds before the madness spreads. It’s one thing if my eyes alight in front of Daniel, privately and between us. I’ll be damned if I let this shit happen in front of Leoni. “You said this was a judgement-free zone,” I remind him.

“It is. Who am I to judge? I’m a half-dead spider-vampire with muted pupils. There’s no judgement here.”

“Danny,” Leoni chides sweetly. “Stop it. You are not any of those things.”

Too abruptly, I stand and a loud clamor disrupts the general calm of the room. Yikes, I miscalculated that. My eyes aren’t burning yet, so I move my palm and peek one open. An empty bottle has fallen over along with my own empty glass.

“Oops… sorry. I-I need a minute.” The alcohol swirls within me and throws off my equilibrium, as if the room is turning on its head. I try to move from the table and end up hitting it again. More glasses fall over.

“Jesus Christ, just—hold on, man. Here.” Swiftly, Daniel is at my side and linking my free arm into his. The nearness of him and his electric essence sets my irises ablaze behind my closed lids. I place my palm firmly over my eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” he says.

“Oh, take your time, dearies. No rush. I’ll start cleaning up. Goodnight, Puercoespííín. Sleep well.”

“Th-thanks—and thank you for the welcome party.” Daniel guides me from the kitchen and I follow blindly. When the air shifts and I can tell we’re in the living room, he slips his hand down into mine as he pulls me along.

“Are you alright?” he asks quietly. “Do you feel sick?”

“Not sick, just… not grounded enough. Too light.”

He chuckles. “It’s okay to feel light sometimes.”

I groan as we enter my room. “Disagree.” It’s not okay to feel light when your nature is unruly and you have zero control. It’s a disaster for a recipe.

Wait… what?

That’s not how that goes.

I laugh.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re laughing about, but just lie down, please? You can open your eyes.” He helps me onto the bed and once I feel it underneath me, I fall back, still laughing at my internal dialog. When my head hits the pillow, I open my alighted irises.

Daniel stands over me at the edge of the bed. He’s tall and his inky black hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail. He almost never wears it loose. It’s always braided or confined in some kind of bun atop his head—or at the nape of his neck… never at the side though. That might be cute? Or interesting? He has enough hair to do buns on both sides, like Princess Leia.

“Are you alright, Rabbit?”

Focusing, I look up at him. In the dim lamp light, he looks like a dark angel with ethereal eyes. Or maybe a striking and dangerous devil .

“Mostly,” I say, smiling. God, I like him so much. “Do you know why Raph started calling me that?”

He sits down on the edge of the bed and near my waist. This makes me happy. “I do not. Please tell me?”

“Right after they’d hired him as my manservant, he was observing me with a tutor. I don’t remember it, but I guess the tutor was teaching me about all different kinds of animals and asked which one I would want to be. I told her that I wanted to be a rabbit. Raph said when she asked me why, I said, ‘Because everyone likes rabbits.’”

Resting back more comfortably, I chuckle. “That probably speaks directly to a deep personal failing on my part.”

“Did you know that a rabbit’s vision covers almost three-hundred-and-sixty degrees?” Daniel asks, his head tilted in curiosity. “But their only blind spot is that they can’t see what’s directly in front of them?”

The air stills as I take that in. I turn my head against the pillow to avoid his gaze. “Sooo, another uncanny similarity and personal failing?”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” he says quietly. I turn my head to look back at him. He’s wearing that soft expression that I love. “You don’t have to hide your eyes around Leoni.”

I shake my head against the pillow, which makes Daniel spin. Bad, bad idea. “It’s inappropriate.”

“It’s not. There aren’t any strict rules here.”

“I know…” I’m distracted because the silky, wavy length of his ponytail rests over his shoulder and I… I want to touch it. It’s so close. I lift my hand and meet his eyes. “Can I?”

“Can you what?”

I move my hand closer so he knows what I’m talking about, but I don’t dare make contact. “Touch… Is it okay?”

His irises shift. The tender expression rested in his sharp features transitions into something darker. Something I can’t read. Nervous, I pull my hand back.

“Yes,” he says .

Nothing more.

This is awkward and I’ll definitely hate myself in the morning. It’s stone quiet as I reach and carefully scoop the length of his hair into my palm. It’s heavy, just like I had imagined. Cool to touch and silky. Pushing my luck, I shift my hand so that I can entwine it between my fingers. It’s messy but graceful in the way that it falls. Elegant in its imperfection. Like him.

“You’re not a ‘spider-vampire,’ or half-dead,” I tell him. “You say that about yourself all the time, Danny. But ‘disagree.’ You’re not like that at all.”

The words spill out easily, in a way that they typically can’t. It’s like a road block has been removed from my chest and throat. A concrete barrier has dissolved and now the traffic of my words and feelings can flow freely.

Daniel leans down closer and my nature celebrates this. My heart races and because of his angle, his hair bunches in my fist. I can’t take my eyes off of him.

“Then what am I like, Alexander?” he asks, his gaze unwavering.

“You’re alive. To me, you’re… complex. Like a sonata with multiple movements. Your essence is like a nocturne—a melody that floats between mezzo forte and pianissimo. Rhapsody on a moonlit night.”

It feels nerdy of me to express how I feel in terms of music, but it’s the language we share. We have many languages, but this one in particular? He gifted it to me. I didn’t know the piano nor classical music well until him. My love for it is rooted in him because he planted the first seed.

Daniel hovers inches above my face and the heft of his ponytail rests within my fist and fingers.

How much does he like me?

As I lie here with the fire of my nature pushing against my chest and groin, I wish with my whole heart that he’d kiss me. I know he has issues with purebreds that he’s working through, but to feel him a little closer right now… For him to accept me that way…

I wouldn’t ask for anything else in life.

Just this one moment.

Just one kiss.

“Why is it,” he begins slowly, “that you’re only bold toward me when you’re not in your right mind?”

The rosy, wishful haze in my head clears a bit as I blink, confused. It’s so quiet and his eyes are intense. I feel as if I’m swimming in them. Like floating in a sea of twilight clouds.

“What?” I ask.

“You only say and do bold things when you’re inebriated, somehow. You licked me when you were delirious and half starved. Now this. Why?”

The silliness swells in my chest and I chuckle. “Because I don’t have the courage to say or do these things when I’m in my right mind.”

Another pause. But this time, Daniel frowns. Before I can blink, he sits up and there’s a sharp flick of pain against my forehead.

“Ahhh—the fuck ?” I squeal, bringing both of my palms to the sore spot between my brows. I rub, nursing the skin there as my eyes water. After a moment, my curiosity wins out and I open one eye since they’ve stopped glowing.

Daniel stares at me, but his expression is forgiving. “Find the courage.”

He takes hold of my wrist to pull one palm from my forehead, then lifts, leans and kisses the spot where he wounded me. The softness of his lips to my skin nearly sets my eyes ablaze once more.

When he hovers over me again, we’re practically nose-to-nose. “Good night,” he whispers.

I can barely breathe the words because hope and yearning are lodged in my throat. “Good night…”

Daniel pauses, as if considering, then thinks better of it and stands straight. He leaves my room and closes the door behind him.

Alone, I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling and swallowing my emotions. Something fragile within me wants to crumble, but I shut my eyes tightly and fight it off.

“Find the courage,” I tell myself, repeating the phrase over and over until I pass out and my dreams are filled with vivid and familiar images. Scenes I’ve witnessed once before—a long, long time ago. Like déjà vu.

A full moon reflected in black water and shining through billowing curtains. Slow passing clouds in an indigo autumn sky. Dark green shadows all around.

A feisty, intelligent and melodic man with eyes like pools of lilac fog stands before me and my nature whispers softly but insistently. Resolute.

We want him.

We still want him.