Vegas Aces: The Wide Receiver Complete Series

CHAPTER 5 TESSA

I’m crying—still—as I stare out the window at the lights blinking down below. My mom and Tristan’s parents just left, and I’m all alone.

I’m not sure I’ve ever felt the loneliness as much as I do in this moment. I felt alone when I had the baby, and I felt alone when Cameron told me to take care of it . But nothing could ever have prepared me to lose Tristan again. Nothing could have ever prepared me for this moment right here as I prepare to go to sleep on the night of what was supposed to be my wedding day.

Everyone said all the words and tried to keep me calm for the baby’s sake, but nobody really knew what to do. And since none of us knew where he went and nobody could get in touch with him, I’m not just feeling lonely.

I’m feeling worried. Anxious. Scared.

I told Brandi he wouldn’t go to the sex club, but what if he did? What if that was his default, the place where he could unwind and just be himself after learning the things he learned? What if he finds some girl to have sex with there?

What if I don’t know him at all?

I know it’s ridiculous to even think that way. I know him. Of course I do. I know him better than anybody, and that’s why I know he won’t run forever. Eventually he’ll come talk to me.

Just as I have that thought, I hear a knock at the door.

I said eventually . There’s no way it’s him.

Still, I practically run toward the door just in case, and when I peek through the peephole, a sense of calm washes over me.

He’s changed from his tuxedo into athletic shorts, an Aces tee, and sneakers, and he’s just as hot in these clothes as he looked in that tux.

I toss the door open, and I rush into him, tossing my arms around his neck. I hold tightly onto him, but I never feel the familiar slide of his arms around my waist.

He just stands there clutching his tux, and a dark chill freezes my veins.

I slowly pull back as all my hopes and dreams that he came back for me are crushed in one simple rejection. “Come on in,” I say, opening the door wider to allow him to enter.

Anxiety claws at me as I try to keep a calm exterior, and I walk back to the chair I just vacated to answer the door. He sets his tux on a table before he sits in the chair beside me, and I let him lead the conversation.

“I have a lot of questions,” he begins, “but now that the initial shock has worn off, there’s one I keep circling back to. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I clear my throat and keep my gaze out the window. “What would’ve changed if I had?”

He doesn’t respond.

“I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. We talked so much about how the future means more than the past, and I guess I just thought I was sparing you the pain of knowing.”

He shakes his head as he leans forward, elbows on his knees and eyes out the window. “Don’t act like some martyr who was only protecting me. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

I suck in a breath. “I admit I took the easy way out, but I was going to tell you once the baby came. You told me not to get stressed, to keep the baby safe, and keeping the past tucked away seemed like the right move.” I set my hand over my stomach.

“Another bullshit excuse.”

“Why’d you come here if your only plan was to tell me I’m spouting bullshit? I’m telling you my truth, Tristan. I know you don’t like it, and I don’t blame you…but I haven’t exactly had the easy end of this, either. Living with what happened has been enough to drive me to really dark corners over the last seven years, and I didn’t really see the light again until you stepped back into my life.” My voice is soft as I make the confession.

“Then start at the beginning,” he says.

“My dad found the positive test, and without warning, without anything , against my will and my mother’s, he shoved me into the back of a car that took me to my aunt’s house in Chicago. He was ashamed of me not just for having premarital sex, but for being so stupid as to get pregnant. His words, not mine. His only goal in life was to look like the perfect pastor of his congregation, and so he sent me away. He made up some story and my mom and I didn’t have a choice but to stick to it. He’d made sure I had no way of getting in touch with you. With home.” I can’t help the sob that escapes me, and my voice trembles with my next sentence. “I had the baby, and I never even got to hold him.”

Tears run down my cheeks, and he gasps softly at my admission.

“The nurses took him from my body and never let me look at him. My parents signed away my rights. I was young and scared, and I didn’t even know I had rights. I didn’t know that at seventeen, it was up to me whether I wanted to give him away or not. My dad made sure I didn’t know any of that. And as far as I knew, the records were sealed. I tried to get a copy of them once, but I wasn’t able to.”

I glance over at him, and he’s still refusing to look at me.

“Today I learned that since the adoption was through a private agency, they still had records of the original birth mother. I don’t know how Savannah got them, but she did. I tried looking you up after I had the baby. Once he was signed over to the new parents, I was allowed to go to school in-person, and then I could access the internet. But by that time you were in the middle of your freshman year football season. You were a starting player, and I knew that was rare for a freshman. I saw photos of you, and you looked like you’d moved on. I didn’t know what would’ve changed if I was able to track you down and tell you, so I just…I held onto the heartbreak myself. I didn’t want to put you through the hell I’d been through. I didn’t want you to have to feel all the horrible things I was feeling.”

He's quiet a beat. “It was an act. All of it.” He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead with his fingertips before returning his elbows to his knees, his eyes still out the window. “The last seven fucking years have been an act. Football is the only thing that kept me going. I may not have known about the baby, but I sure as fuck felt the same heartbreak you did.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I don’t know what else to say. “Please tell me we can work through this.”

He continues to stare straight ahead. “I don’t know if we can.” He finally tears his gaze from the window to look at me. “How do I ever trust you again?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “But their goal was to break us. We can’t let them win.”

He huffs out a mirthless chuckle. “They did win, Tessa. I’m broken, and I don’t know if this is something I’ll ever come back from.” He stands. “I just need some time. I wanted to come here to get some questions answered, and I guess I did.” He starts walking toward the door.

“So where do we go from here?” I ask, scrambling to stand as quickly as someone seven months pregnant can with the giant belly and the aching back.

“I don’t know.” He sighs, and his eyes flick down to my stomach. I can’t help but wonder whether he’ll still want to be a part of her life…if his words that she’s his are still true. If he’ll stand by that or if he’s leaving her because he’s leaving me—which tells me she was always only mine, and he was just accepting her into his life because she was a part of my package.

God, this is all so complicated.

“I’m going to stay here in Vegas a while,” he says. He opens the door. “I’ve got OTAs coming up in a few weeks anyway.” He steps through the doorway, and it feels very final. My heart aches with his next words. “You go back to Fallon Ridge. Take care of yourself and the baby. I’ll see you around.”

He turns to walk down the hallway, and the door latches shut behind him.

A hollow echo sounds down the hallway, and I feel it in my chest—hollow now, too, because he just walked away with my heart in his hands.