Victim (Damaged Devils #16)

Chapter Eight

After accepting his fifth congratulation from a coworker, Cannon had to admit he would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud. He needed the win. Saving Xan had been personal. Cannon had truly needed this reminder he was good at what he did. He had gotten this job and climbed through the ranks for a reason. Everything still required paperwork, unfortunately. At least he didn’t have to squint at the computer monitor today .

The phone rang on his desk. Cannon bit back a sigh. Fortunately, he knew what to expect this time when he picked up the receiver.

“Whitley.”

“You know the drill.”

Cannon pinched the spot between his eyes. “On my way.”

Cannon stood and headed for Jake’s office. There was still a part of him that didn’t care if he lost this job. He had no idea what he would do next. But he had a pretty fucking spotless record, so he would figure it out. This time, he knocked.

“Come in.”

Cannon stepped inside Jake’s office. For the first time, Cannon realized how ridiculously clean the place was. There wasn’t a thing out of place. There also wasn’t a single thing personal about it. Not a picture or even a plant. Just a spotless void of unhappiness.

“You wanted to see me.”

Jake held out a stack of files. “Your next case.”

With a dip of his chin, Cannon crossed the room and took the files. He would look at them later. After he finished his reports. Jake said nothing else. Cannon hesitated. His pride twinged, but if he planned to stay, then they needed to bury the hatchet.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for our disagreement.” There. He wasn’t sorry for what he said, but he regretted they had argued. They still had to work together.

Jake leaned back in his chair and eyed Cannon. He blew out a sigh. “For what’s it’s worth, I regret sending you to the cabin. I hope one day you can understand my job sometimes requires choosing the greater good. It’s not always an easy decision to overlook one thing to stop a worse thing, you understand?”

Cannon gave him a sharp nod. He got it.

Jake held his stare, looking more intense than Cannon had ever seen him. “I also want you to understand the only person who pays me to make these decisions is Uncle Sam, and it’s nowhere near enough most days.”

Cannon gave another nod, even though he wasn’t sure he believed it. The anger and obvious feeling of being insulted was in Jake’s eyes and voice, though. If Cannon had the guy in interrogation, he would say the man told the truth.

Jake dipped his chin. “Get back to work, then.”

Cannon headed back to his desk, feeling slightly defeated. It seemed like he had lost a lot of rounds lately. He was apologizing right and left, even when he still wasn’t sure he was wrong. Sometimes Cannon wanted to walk away from everything. Start a new life. Become someone new. He hadn’t lived any sort of life in years. Work had dominated every second. He actually had a pretty fat savings. Every now and then, he thought about buying his own cabin in the woods and going off grid for a while. Those weeks alone in the woods with Xan hadn’t made him any less exhausted. He needed that full time. Two weeks was nowhere near enough. Truthfully, he was burned out with the entire grind. Maybe it was time to quit. He had lost his love for this.

Cannon stared at his computer screen. His gaze moved between the screen and his case files. Did he really want to start a new case? His phone buzzed on his desk. Cannon grabbed it. A smile exploded across his face at the sight of Xan’s name.

Xan: Are you finished being sore yet?

A loud snort escaped Cannon. He covered his nose and mouth at the sound. There was no squashing his smile.

Cannon: I told you last night you could have me then. But yes, I’m fine.

“Is that smile for me? ”

Cannon nearly jumped out of his skin when Xan appeared at his cubicle. “Holy shit.” He patted his chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart.

Xan’s sexy smile didn’t show a hint of remorse. “I came to steal you away for lunch.”

God, he was beautiful. Cannon was getting too attached. “Sounds great.” He opened his desk drawer and tossed the case files inside before locking the drawer. “I’m not getting anywhere on these reports anyway.”

Cannon shifted to his feet. They were inches apart. The temptation to kiss Xan was crippling. A massive realization struck. Cannon wanted to keep him, and he didn’t care who knew.

The lack of patience to see Cannon again was getting a little scary. Xan hadn’t even made it through the day. The thing was, though, Xan wasn’t accustomed to having feelings for someone. He didn’t know how to regulate. Xan kept needing to go to Cannon and see if the last time had been a fluke. Each time, he couldn’t stop smiling. Couldn’t stop craving. He was in trouble, and he didn’t know how to stop acting desperate for Cannon. Xan also didn’t think he wanted to quit.

Despite his best efforts to play it cool at Cannon’s work, he couldn’t stop casting Cannon heated looks on the way to the parking garage. He had intentionally parked in a corner where no one could see inside. The moment they were inside and out of sight, Xan overcame Cannon. Cannon didn’t scoff. They went hard at each other, as if they hadn’t seen each other in weeks.

“Mhmm. Best lunch I’ve ever had,” Cannon said between kisses. Laughter filled his voice.

Xan pulled away. “Just in case you think I don’t intend to feed you.” He grabbed a bag from the backseat. “An Italian sub on wheat.”

A happy-sounding laugh burst from Cannon. “Thanks. I can eat that at my desk later.” He snagged Xan’s tie and hauled him in for another kiss.

There was so much happiness and hope in Xan’s chest. It had nowhere to go, so Xan poured it into Cannon. They made out, kissing and touching. Their fingers kept linking. Xan had never felt this way. He didn’t fully understand what he felt. All Xan knew was he didn’t want it to stop.

“Tell me you’re mine and only mine.”

Cannon’s demand made Xan realize he wasn’t alone. This had turned into something along the way. It was more than sexual attraction.

Xan’s gaze moved over Cannon’s face. Their fingers still played. “Is that what you want?”

Cannon smiled. It was sexy and wicked. “I don’t know what’s happening between us, but I know I want it to keep happening.” His smile fell and picked up again, as if Cannon had a hard time holding on to it. “I also know I don’t want to share you. ”

Xan didn’t take the conversation lightly. “That’s fair, since I fear for you if I found you with anyone else.”

Cannon’s expression made the confession worthwhile. It was like Xan had said he loved him. Cannon’s gaze dropped to Xan’s mouth. “We’ll finish this at my place later. Pack a bag.” Then Cannon was right back in Xan’s space, gnawing his bottom lip and curling his tongue around Xan’s. Something had definitely changed between them. Xan wanted even more.

Cannon moved back to his seat. Turned sideways with his head leaned against the seat, he held Xan’s stare. “Do you ever think about walking away from everything and starting a new life?”

The question caught Xan off guard. He gave it some real consideration. Xan had enjoyed those weeks of peace at the cabin with Cannon. Still, he couldn’t see himself in any other life. “No.”

Cannon’s gaze slid away. He looked defeated. “Oh.”

Xan tried to explain. “My career wasn’t earned the typical way. The fact that I can run an entire team for the CIA, that was unimaginable for me at one point in my life.” Xan made a helpless gesture. He didn’t know how to explain what Cannon could never understand. “You’re special. You have all the options in the universe to be whatever you want to be. All I know how to do is this, and I owe it to people like me to not give up. ”

Cannon stared at him, as if he saw his soul. He didn’t respond. Cannon had him a little worried.

“Should I be concerned?”

A wry smile touched Cannon’s lips. He shook his head. “It was just a question.”

Xan had a bad feeling in his gut. He felt something and Xan didn’t want to lose that. Unfortunately, as good as he was at his job, he wasn’t good at close relationships. He could charm people or kill them. Xan didn’t know how to love them or be supportive. Cannon needed something Xan didn’t know how to provide, so he kissed him and hoped it was enough.