Victim (Damaged Devils #16)

Chapter Nine

Xan: How’s the new case going?

Cannon: Fine. It’s in that boring stage. You know how it goes.

Xan: Jake tells me you’re at the coroner. You’re the only person I know who finds that boring.

Cannon: I’ve been here a million times. It’s just dead people who went badly. Another day of me trying to figure it out.

Xan: You sound tired. Is that my fault ?

Cannon. That’s the best kind of tired.

Xan: Do you want me to do it again?

Cannon: Absolutely .

Cannon: I’m nearby. Want to meet for lunch?

Xan: I’m in. Just let me know where.

Cannon: Coming over tonight?

Xan: Don’t I always?

Cannon: Just checking.

Xan: Sounds like someone misses me.

Cannon: Always .

Four months with Xan and going strong. Some days, Cannon couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t expected to last this long with anyone, especially Xan. Damn, he was so thankful, though. He had never been happier. Xan didn’t hide him. Cannon didn’t either. Unlike everyone else Cannon had ever dated, Xan hadn’t once brought up meeting his parents. He didn’t expect a big coming-out speech. They were just a couple. A happy couple. No pressure, just a love Cannon couldn’t stop from growing bigger every day. The thing about that was, it meant the strain came from within. Each day, Cannon craved a little more. He wanted everyone to have no doubts about their status. Cannon hated that Xan hadn’t gone with him to celebrate his birthday with his parents. Every day, everything Cannon did without Xan felt a little hollower. Cannon had a bad feeling he had finally met the one, and he didn’t think Xan truly felt the same way. No demands usually meant no deep feelings. Cannon honestly believed Xan still thought of them as casually dating. Neither of them wanted to see anyone else, but obviously, Xan would be fine if he woke up tomorrow and never saw Cannon again. It stung.

That didn’t stop Cannon from trying to coax Xan out of his clothes. Xan was being extra teasing today. While straddling Xan’s lap, Cannon sucked Xan’s neck. He loved the sounds Xan made. When the knocks started, Cannon thought it was his heart pounding in his ears. Then the doorbell rang several times.

Cannon looked toward the door, and Xan and Cannon exchanged glances. Cannon snagged his phone and checked his front door camera. His heart tried climbing into his throat. “It’s my parents.” He stood, unsure of what to do. Cannon didn’t want to tell Xan to hide, but he also hadn’t considered what he would say if they ever came face to face with his parents as a couple.

Xan pushed to his feet. He handed Cannon his shirt. “I’ll go wait in bed. Join me when you can.” He didn’t look hurt or disappointed. Cannon was, though. He was on both points. Possibly a part of him wanted to be left with no choice.

When Xan disappeared down the hall, Cannon pulled on his shirt and made sure it hid his erection. He ran his hand over his head, trying to flatten his hair. Cannon took a deep breath and opened the door.

He ran his hand over his hair again. “Sorry. I was sleeping. How long have you two been knocking?”

Neither one smiled. They were also together in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. His mom answered. “Not long. We saw your car. Why are you home in the middle of the week? Are you sick?”

Cannon took a step back, inviting them inside. “You know my schedule is a mess. I might go a month with no time off and then be off a week. It’s always been that way.”

They moved to the couch and sat.

Cannon quickly closed his laptop on the coffee table before they saw anything they didn’t have clearance to see.

His dad’s dark brown gaze moved over his face. “Did we catch you watching porn?”

Cannon rolled his eyes without thinking. “I’m working surveillance. You know I can’t let anyone see classified information.”

His dad gave him a sharp nod, as if satisfied his son hadn’t been sinning. Cannon’s irritation unexpectedly grew. He had been so close to letting them meet Xan. Now he was back to feeling like a kid called to the carpet about a decision that should completely be his at thirty-four goddamn years old.

His parents exchanged glances as if having a silent conversation. Cannon’s anxiety grew. He needed a minute between being on the edge of getting fucked and lectured.

“Do you want something to drink?”

His mom shook her head and patted the spot next to her on the couch. The dread got worse. When he sat, she dug inside her purse and brought out a cream-colored envelope. She held it out to Cannon.

Cannon’s eyebrows rose, but he accepted and opened the card. It was an invitation. His heart beat a little faster and his pulse sounded louder in his ears. It was an invite to Knight and Royal’s wedding. The date was for the previous weekend. Cannon lifted his chin. He didn’t know what to say.

It seemed his mom did. “At first, we hoped Royal was just an odd name for a girl. It wasn’t until we attended that a lot of reality hit, and questions were answered. You don’t look surprised.”

Cannon handed back the invitation. “I’m only surprised you went.”

She stuffed the envelope back in his purse. “Why wouldn’t we go? Knight’s been like a part of the family for years. Of course we went. ”

Cannon nodded. His gaze slid between his parents. He didn’t know what to say.

His dad cleared his throat. “You weren’t there.”

“I wasn’t invited.”

The couple exchanged another glance. Cannon thought the tension might snap his brain. His tongue got away from him. “What? Ask what you came to ask.”

His mom took his hand. Cannon wanted to snatch it back. “Knight and you were so close for so many years. Sometimes we wondered…”

His dad picked up where his mom trailed off. “When we didn’t see you at the wedding, it kind of made us realize that maybe Knight and you were a bit more than friends.” As if he worried he might insult the fuck out of Cannon, he rushed to say the rest. “I mean, you two were inseparable for a while and then you wouldn’t know anything about his life. Then you would be inseparable again. You’re not married yet and you haven’t brought anyone home for us to meet.”

His mom cut in. “You never talk about anything relationship-wise at all and that’s just not normal for someone your age. I know you say work is always busy, but I know it’s never that busy.”

Cannon’s gaze moved between them. They looked like they equally held their breath. There would never be another chance like this. If he lied, it would twice as hard to take it back. Still, he couldn’t say the words without being a hundred percent certain it was what he wanted. He also needed to buy his indecision a few more seconds. “Are you asking if I’m gay too?” Cannon needed the clarification before he leveled his life.

This time, they didn’t look at each other to ensure they were on the same page. They nodded.

Cannon tried taking a breath. He hoped he didn’t puke. They stared at him so intently. Cannon didn’t want to lose them. They would never feel the same about him after this.

Xan strolled into the room wearing a tank top and workout shorts. He was barefoot and looked as if he lived there. His smile was pure charm. He looked like a man anyone would be proud to know.

“I thought I heard voices.”

His parents looked between Xan and Cannon and back again. Cannon nearly laughed at their shock. He tossed Xan a grateful look. It seemed the decision was out of his hands.

Cannon motioned toward Xan. “Mom. Dad. This is Xan Akim. Xan, Wyatt and Maria Whitley.”

Xan shook hands with the pair and then claimed the recliner. “I wondered when I would get to meet you two.”

Wyatt’s eyebrows rose. He looked Cannon’s way. “A Russian?”

The desire to laugh doubled. Nothing about being gay. Just Russian. Maybe his dad still didn’t understand. A bright smile lit Cannon’s face without his permission. “ Special Agent Xan Akim with the CIA. Also, my boyfriend. ”

To his shock, both his parents beamed. His mom spoke on both their behalf. “It’s nice to finally meet you. We were getting pretty tired of being in the dark.”

A kind smile touched Xan’s lips. “In Cannon’s defense, we both have insane case-work schedules.”

His mom turned her wrath on him. She smacked his arm. “Now tell me about Knight.” She shot a quick glance Xan’s way. “As long as that doesn’t make you uncomfortable, of course.”

Xan made a dismissive gesture. “They’ve been friends a long time. Can I get either of you something to drink?”

“Coffee would be kind of nice,” his dad muttered, as if unsure if he should ask.

Xan stood. “Coffee coming up.”

Cannon waited until Xan disappeared into the kitchen before focusing on his mom. He didn’t really know where to start, so he just picked a place. “Um, so, I guess you could say Knight and I have been off and on over the years, but always stayed good friends. Obviously, he loves you both. When he started dating Royal, I had some reservations. The guy has a bit of a shady past, but they love each other, and I should’ve stayed out of it. Long story short, we had a falling out over it. We’ve somewhat made up since then. But it’ll be a long time, if ever, before I get any invitations to anything in his life.”

His mom went on a short rant in Spanish about him ruining a good friendship. She was hot-tempered like that. Cannon waited her out. Finally, she patted his arm. “With that said.” Her gaze moved toward the kitchen and then back to hold his stare. “He is very handsome, and a special agent.”

“And with the CIA,” his dad chimed in.

Cannon chuckled. “You know the CIA isn’t any more powerful than the FBI, right? Plus, I’m also a special agent.”

His dad shot him a wry look. “I’m not dumb, son. But—at the end of the day—you’re answerable to congress. He’s not. His teams can basically do anything as long as no one finds out about it.”

He had no idea.

“Not even then, really,” Xan said, appearing in the doorway with two cups of coffee. “I didn’t know how you two take yours, so I just brought them black. I can grab you whatever you need to doctor your cups.”

Both shook their heads.

“Black is fine for us,” his dad said. He stayed intently focused on Xan. “What happens if you get caught?” It was beyond obvious Xan had his dad hooked. No one loved conspiracy theories and clandestine missions more than Wyatt Whitley.

Xan reclaimed his seat. “From my experience, everyone collectively decides to look away.”

“Did the CIA have Kennedy assassinated?”

Cannon had to look away to keep from laughing at his mom’s question.

“Meh. Probably. ”

At Xan’s answer, his dad slapped his knee. “I knew it.”

Xan met Cannon’s stare. They smiled. Something passed between them. This was love. Full-blown. No going back. Nothing standing between them now. It was love.

Xan would be lying if he claimed he hadn’t immediately stopped outside the living room to eavesdrop before Cannon let his parents inside. One thing Xan was a master at was reading people. Cannon saw his parents through the lens of a child. Xan listened to the underlying cadence of their voices. They loved their son. The pair just wanted to be let in. As much as Xan didn’t truly want to meet the parents, he couldn’t let Cannon drown. Left on his own, he might have denied being gay, and then his life would have gone down the toilet. The guilt and hiding would continue to eat away at his sanity until he destroyed everything they were building together. So, Xan had taken the choice from his hands. It had been a gamble, but Xan put all his chips on love. Cannon loved him. Xan didn’t doubt that for a moment.

It felt like it took forever for the pair to leave. After several hugs and promises to visit, they were finally alone. The moment the door closed behind the pair, Cannon’s gaze slid his way. Xan did his best to look like a guilty child, even though he didn’t have an ounce of remorse.

Cannon shook his head. “I thought you said you didn’t want to meet them.”

Xan shrugged. He decided to be honest. “I couldn’t let you lose the battle against yourself. You were half a second away from denying the truth and we both know how that would’ve ended.”

“Thank you.”

Xan wrapped his arms around Cannon and squeezed. “It went well, I think. Besides me being Russian, of course.”

Cannon laughed against the crook of his neck, muffling the sound. “Lord, who knows with those two?” Cannon took a ragged-sounding breath against Xan’ s neck.

Xan’s eyes fell closed. He had never felt so much for another person. Cannon’s stress and worries were his stress and worries. Xan rubbed his back. “You did great. It’s obvious your parents love you more than they love their prejudices. That’s a good thing.”

“I know. I’m just… I don’t know.”

Xan kissed his cheek. He got it. Years of fear and hiding were gone, but now there was nothing stopping a future fallout. Maybe his parents’ shock would wear off and they wouldn’t be as okay as they thought. He practically felt the way Cannon’s insides shook. Maybe Xan wasn’t who he needed right then.

“Would you like to call Knight and talk about it? ”

Cannon’s grip on his shirt tightened. “No, but that’s sweet. Thank you for that.”

Xan held Cannon tighter. “Of course. I love you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Cannon’s head shot up so fast, he nearly knocked out Xan’s teeth. “What did you just say?”

Confusion off-balanced Xan. “That I love you. We’ve been together for months. That wasn’t obvious by now?”

A smile exploded across Cannon’s face. He laughed. “Everything is so easy with you. It feels complicated.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

Cannon laughed again. “It means I love you too.”

“Oh. I knew that.”

Cannon shook his head. It was obvious he didn’t know how to handle Xan today.

Xan motioned toward the hallway. “I believe we were interrupted.”

Cannon paused for a moment. A hint of wickedness touched his features. “Race you.” Before Cannon’s words had time to fully absorb, Cannon was already on the move. Xan took off after him and overcame him outside the bedroom. He snatched Cannon off his feet and headed for bed. After tossing him on top, Xan followed him down, covering Cannon’s body with his. He had never been this happy in his life. Sometimes it hit him at the strangest times how far they had come. Xan had gone from thinking he would have to make Cannon disappear to knowing he couldn’t live without the guy. He would give up everything to keep this. Xan understood Royal’s insanity when it came to Knight now. He was crazy over Cannon. Xan couldn’t get enough.

Cannon laughed at the way Xan tore at his clothes, stripping him as quickly as possible. His impatience was on full display. The laughter died when their nude bodies met. Xan went from not being able to get inside Cannon quickly enough to wanting this to last forever. He took his time lubing Cannon, savoring the way Cannon gasped for air. When he finally slipped inside Cannon, Xan moved slowly, making love to Cannon. They held each other’s stare. Xan had never truly connected with anyone the way he had with Cannon. He had already refused to allow his past to rule him, but Xan had thought his emotions were beyond full repair. He had regained his feelings, but they had been muted—like trying to hear through cotton balls. Then Cannon had challenged him, frustrating him while still leaving him aroused. Cannon had shown a fire Xan hadn’t known how to douse. Until Xan realized he didn’t want to dim Cannon’s flame. He wanted to be consumed by it. Everything inside him had exploded into the brightest of colors and sound with Cannon. He didn’t know how to mute his emotions when they were together. The way he felt was too powerful. It was more than lust. Xan had finally found one place in the world he never wanted to leave. His chest felt empty when Cannon wasn’t around.

Cannon strained against him. He visibly fought his way toward the edge. Xan never looked away. He pumped inside Cannon, holding a slow, steady pace. When Cannon blew, Xan studied every nuance.

“I love you.” The desperate-sounding words beneath him broke Xan. He changed angles and took the pleasure he wanted. Cannon whimpered, adding vocals to Xan’s lust.

Xan’s body tensed. He pressed his forehead against Cannon’s and held Cannon’s stare. Xan never looked away, even as an orgasm tried taking him out.

“I love you,” Xan whispered, giving the words back to Cannon. They were one. He truly understood that saying now. Xan would stalk him to the ends of the earth. He would never let them be apart.