We Never Kissed

Chapter 1

Alex

I trailed behind Lauren, her long legs balanced atop four-inch, deal-sealing black stilettos, as she glided behind the ma?tre d’. I caught the scent of something flowery coming from her silky blond hair as it bounced on her bare back like drizzle on a windshield. She’d definitely made an effort. Maybe too much of an effort, considering how hard I’d tried to get a yes from her. The back of her dress was low cut, with enough skin showing for a craps table. But her beauty wasn’t the only thing that had attracted me to Lauren in the first place. It was her intelligence, confidence, an air of genuineness that seemed to hint that she’d have no problem giving you a smile or the finger—depending on which applied more.

I let the host pull out her chair—only because he’d beaten me to it—and watched her gleam a fresh smile in thanks as she sat. Appreciative—I like that.

I secured the seat across from her, leaned back in my chair, and took in her beauty: smooth skin the color of damp sand, dark blue eyes blanketed in long thick lashes. The perfect woman for any man. So, why did I have to fight the urge to stare right through her as if she were a newly cleaned window? Why had she lost my attention in an instant? Because your thoughts keep going back to her , idiot . At least I’d thought it was her when I saw her in the airport earlier today. Even though it had been more than a year since I’d last laid eyes on Ava, I thought if she was coming home she’d at least give me a heads up. A text or something.

When the ma?tre d’ walked away, Lauren set down the menu he’d handed her. She folded her arms, leaned back in her chair, and stared right back, releasing a glare I could tell spelled trouble. “Well?” she said, brows raised.

I blinked, unprepared, and produced the best faux grin I could come up with. “What?”

“You didn’t say anything about my appearance when you picked me up, you were practically mute in the car, and now it’s like you’re not even here. Are you not the same guy who gave me the full-court press just to get me to go out with you? Best night of my life ? Or was that all bullshit?”

I could ignore the fact that Lauren instantly made this about her. Partly because she was damn right. I was acting like an ass. But that didn’t erase the fact that I’d thought Lauren was everything I wanted, and now that I had her with me, something just felt…off. That wasn’t her fault, though, so I leaned forward, noted the bumps on her exposed arms, and ran a hand down one of them. My eyes locked onto her gaze. “You look chilly. Let me get them to turn the air down.”

Her expression softened at that, a sexy smirk materializing. “I’m fine. Feeling warmer already.”

I grinned from the realization that it was just that easy to win her back. But is that what I really want ? We both knew this wasn’t anything long-term, and now was not the time for life affirmations, anyway. I’d made a commitment, and I damn well needed to make this night special for Lauren. She deserved at least that much.

With my menu closed in front of me, I watched Lauren pick hers back up and scan the page. She glanced up at me from time to time, appreciating the attention. “You on a diet?” she asked after closing her menu.

“No.” I paused. “I already know what I want,” I said, laying on the baritone for her .

It seemed to please her, and she let out a soft giggle. “So do I.”

Eyes connected with hers, I was the first to break from the moment, turning to practicality. “Whatever you’d like,” I said, then glanced around for the waiter.

We started with a bottle of pinot and a seared ahi appetizer, and I was finally able to relax some. Throughout the meal, we talked mostly about Lauren’s job at a law firm. She shared her frustrations about being bored, uninspired, and feeling stuck under the glass ceiling of her traditionally male-dominated firm. “It’s either a wedding or a new career, and I think we both know which one isn’t going to happen anytime soon.” She winked over her glass as she sipped at her wine.

Toward the end of the meal, she asked me about my company and the multi-billion-dollar deal that had been in the works for nearly six months. Of course that wasn’t the reason she accepted my invitation to dinner, she insisted.

During dessert we shared Lauren’s choice of strawberry cheesecake. Seductively, she fed me a bite from her fork and as I savored it, she surprised me with, “So, who is she?”

I swallowed, my gaze never leaving hers. “Excuse me?”

“Come on, Alex.” She grinned and shook her head. My reaction must have been all she needed to confirm her suspicions. Another bite from the cheesecake, licking a dab of whipped cream from her mouth, was enough time for her to let me stew. “I’m not pissed, really. I can see that you’re putting in the effort. But I know it’s not your work that has you off your game, so the only thing that can cause a man to go so easily from hot to cold all night is the lingering thoughts of another woman.”

“Seriously, Lauren, I…” Damn, I hate lying . Anytime I made an attempt, I ended up sounding like an idiot.

“Don’t even try. Look, I’ll be honest with you first. Maybe that will make it easier. I only said yes to tonight because my other plans fell through. A girls’ night.” She paused to gauge my reaction, then continued. “I was supposed to be in floor seats at the Lakers right now.”

A mix of emotions played through my gut. I’d been in hot pursuit of Lauren for weeks, and this date felt like a big win. Yeah, don’t say that out loud .

“Hey, I’m not saying I wouldn’t have eventually said yes. I mean I am very attracted to you, it’s just—”

“Are you always this brutally honest?” I cut in, even though I knew the answer.

“You know what?” She dug into the cake once again and offered me a bite to which I shook my head. “I don’t have time for anything but.”

Amused—and feeling slightly relieved—I chuckled. “I can see that. ”

She set the fork down, grabbed her wine glass, and leaned back in her chair. “So? Who is she?”

I thought for a moment, staring at the amazing woman in front of me, knowing my confession would kill the rest of the night. But if I were honest with myself, it had already flatlined, though I did think Lauren was someone I could be friends with long-term. And I didn’t have too many of those. So, I took a leap. “Her name is Ava.”

“I knew it,” Lauren said, pointing a finger at me in an annoying little-sister manner. “What else? What happened between you two?”

Why did you have to open your mouth about Ava? The truth was complicated. I rarely let myself consciously think of Ava, and yet she always seemed to be on my mind. Like she had a lifetime lease in a little corner office in my brain. “Nothing,” I said, and upon seeing the skeptical look on her face, I added, “Seriously… That’s the problem.”

“Unrequited love?”

“Not exactly.” I blew out a breath. “Hell, I don’t know. Maybe it is. But, with Ava it’s more like…” I searched for the answer in the pool of red wine swirling in the glass I held. “Unexplored…”

She smiled. “Even better.”

“I don’t see how.” All I knew was that for as long as I could remember, there was this pull that kept me tethered to Ava and all the memories we’d shared together. I had to constantly convince myself we were like family, and that was the reason. But every time I was around her, my heart raced like a freaking freight train, and I could say with one hundred percent certainty that never happened around anyone in my family, what little there was of it.

Lauren flagged the waiter with a head bump and a smile. “I’m going to need more information to respond to that one.”

We ordered coffee, and I briefly pondered trying to salvage sex tonight, but we both knew it was off the table. Surprisingly, I didn’t hesitate to share my story with Lauren. It was one that needed a voice and was long overdue. Maybe I could talk my way out of Ava before I actually ran into her in person. So, I settled into my chair and started, “She was my best friend’s little sister…”

“Now we’re talking,” Lauren said, her expression delighted. “Only one of the most popular romance book tropes.”

“Great, I’m a cliché.” I shook my head but still managed to chuckle at myself. The truth was the truth.

“I’m sorry, continue.” She made a flourish with her arm.

“I remember walking into their house after playing basketball with some friends, and there she was. Sammy and I had just started hanging out, but we hit it off immediately. There weren’t any instant fireworks or anything between Ava and me. In fact, I distinctly remember her sneering at me from behind the kitchen counter.”

“Okay, this love story is going downhill fast.” Lauren rolled her eyes, like I was a huge disappointment.

I was lucky she hadn’t walked out with my admission about Ava in the first place. “You do realize we were just kids at the time, right? I was probably fifteen then. Maybe sixteen.”

She waved a hand at me. “Fine, fine, then get to the good stuff. The sparks, like when did you guys get together?”

My frustration level was growing by the minute. Did she want to know about me, or was she just looking for some juicy story she could share by the water cooler? “Like I said before, we were never together.” I shook my head, thinking of all the time we’d spent together over the years, how natural and right it all felt but at the same time, I just…couldn’t. I had never been good enough for Ava, anyway, even if I felt it was all right to pursue her. “We grew close over time, but I went off to college, we lived our own lives, and each time we saw each other this…thing between us became more intense. It was like we were in a relationship that neither of us wanted to acknowledge.” We also had these sort of ticks of time where we were text ing, flirting, dancing around the thing between us. Typically, it was right after she stopped seeing someone. One of us would eventually stop answering until we started up again like no time had passed.

Lauren was shaking her head at me, so I stopped.

When she didn’t say anything, I said, “What?”

“Sex.”

“What about it?”

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. “Alex…from what I know about you, and granted it isn’t much, substantially speaking, Ava is like the ultimate prize. You love the chase. And it sounds like this has been a long one, about fifteen years, so just do it already, and that will probably solve everything.”

I huffed. Please don’t let her be right . I mean it was entirely possible given my track record, but... “No. You’re way off base.”

“How do you figure?”

I picked up my half-drank coffee and sipped the luke-warm liquid. “Let’s just say I had some…chances at that. I could have had her—” I cut myself off, finding it difficult to even speak of Ava like she was some sort of business deal I was trying to close. But I needed to get this out, and I somehow valued Lauren’s opinion, especially given how forthcoming she’d been. So, I started again. “Ava came to visit Sammy and me at college. She’d just graduated high sc hool, almost eighteen. We’d had a party at our place, and Sammy let her drink, thinking he’d keep an eye on her.” I paused, not enjoying the thought of how innocent she was back then. “I was about to hook up with this sorority girl”—Lauren rolled her eyes, but I continued—“but when I got back to my room, Ava was there.”

“In your room?” Her eyes were wide; she was fully invested in this story.

“Yeah. She was so drunk. And she was wearing one of my shirts.” Fuck, seeing her like that… Said someone spilled beer on her. Anyway, I got rid of the girl, thinking I better keep an eye on Ava. Nothing happened, but Sammy came in later and damn near tore me a new one.”

“Ooh, protective brother. He single?” Her eyes lit up.

“Married.”

“Figures.”

I didn’t tell Lauren how we had lain on my bed, Ava’s head resting on my chest, my arm draped around her and me feeling like I had a national treasure under my wing that I’d protect with my life. It was in that moment, I knew I was screwed. “Anyway… What the hell was I saying?” I ran a hand through my hair. “This seems pointless. I appreciate you listening, but—”

“Wait a minute.” She held up her hands, palms facing me. “Give me some credit, here. I’ve got this all figured out.”

“Right, I’m a player who likes the chase. Got it.”

“Yes, true. But there’s another layer to this mystery that you somehow missed.” She licked her full lips, and I got a glimpse of how much of a world-class jackass I was going to feel like going home alone tonight. “You haven’t made a real move in all these years because you fear Sammy’s disapproval. And you’re probably afraid he won’t think you’re good enough.”

“Bullshit.” But even as I said it, my chest tightened. Sammy wasn’t just my best friend; he was like a brother to me. My home life had been a disaster, and his parents had always treated me like one of their own kids. Still did. Damn, she’s right . It wasn’t just Sammy, though, but their parents as well. I’d never want to do anything to disappoint Sue and Denny. I glanced away from Lauren and stared across the restaurant. What I needed was a way to end this night and put us both out of this misery. When I felt Lauren’s hand on my arm, I turned back to her. “I’m sorry. You were just trying to help.”

She laughed. “I’m not some wilting flower you have to be careful around. I can take it. Besides, I’m not the one suffering.”

Suffering ? Narrowing my gaze at her, I said, “I’m not suffering.”

“Okay, Romeo. She doesn’t even live here, and you can’t get through a date without pining over her? Maybe your other women are distracted by that sexy dark mane of yours and that five o’clock shadow, which I would have enjoyed, thank you very much—”

I gave her a head tilt, and my best devilish grin. “There’s still time…”

Adding her own head tilt, she snapped, “Nice try.”

“Gave it a shot.” I shrugged, then added, “Plus, she might not live here now, but she is in town.”

“What!” Lauren shot a look around the restaurant, realizing she’d said that a little too loudly. “Why didn’t you say so? No wonder you’re acting like a lovesick school girl.” She winked, but it didn’t soften the blow.

“Thanks…”

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. The only way to salvage this waste of a night… Don’t give me that look, we both know it would have been incredible.” She seemed to shake off the thought. “Get out your phone. You’re calling her.”