We Never Kissed

Chapter 2

Ava

I sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter, drinking coffee and watching my parents make breakfast and flit around each other without saying a word—something that almost never happened. And since neither of them said more than a few words and a greeting when I got home yesterday, I expected a barrage of questions this morning.

“What’s going on?” I said to them both.

Dad glanced at Mom, then stuck his head in the fridge. “Anyone want juice?”

I cocked my head at Mom and lifted my brows.

“What, honey? We’re just making breakfast.” Her chin-length brown hair swished as she busied herself .

“Uh-huh. And did you both take a vow of silence or something?”

“No. We’re just giving you…space.”

I wrinkled my brow as my dad turned and seemed to be holding back a grin.

“Space for what? You guys are acting weird—even for you.” I laughed, but my suspicions along with the bad news on the tip of my tongue didn’t allow me to feel any humor.

My dad opened his mouth like he was going to say something, and Mom shoved a piece of bacon into it. “We’re just excited—and a little frazzled—about our big anniversary party. But since you’re here early, you can help us with all the last-minute preparations.”

Dad was nodding and chewing, then swallowed and said, “Unless, of course, you’re too busy?”

I gave them both the side-eye and then sipped my coffee. I noticed my mom’s stare homing in on my mug, and then her eyes popped wide. She shot a questioning look to my dad, who just skimmed his hand over the top of his partially gray crew cut.

What the hell is going on with them ?

“Did you poison this?” I asked, setting down the mug.

Dad shook his head and gave my mom a pointed look. “Enough of this, Sue.” Then he turned to me. “She was looking for the ring, sweetheart. We facetimed with Mark last week, and we’ve been dying ever since. We assumed that’s why you came home, to give us the news?” His face froze with a goofy, expectant grin.

“Mark didn’t say—” I let out a breath. “Oh, my God. Did he ask for your blessing for—”

“Yes!” Mom rushed around the counter and grabbed my hands with hers. “Oh, honey, we’re so happy for you. I’m sorry we couldn’t wait for you to tell us.” She pulled me into a hug, and when my gaze connected with my dad’s, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. My eyes filled with tears and dad’s face fell. He knew me better than anyone.

Dad came around and pulled my mom back. “Sue…honey.”

“What?” she said, somewhat affronted. “Can’t I—”

“ Sue ,” Dad said gently and then gestured to me.

I shook my head. “I’m so sorry…”

Realization finally hit, and my mom’s confused expression turned to concern. “Ava, honey, what happened?”

I wished I had an easy answer for them. I was seconds from giving them the “It’s not him, it’s me” reason, but that didn’t feel entirely true. Sure, I’d never really found my way after college, which I went to simply because my parents felt it was the thing to do. I’d wanted to be a dancer, and I’d performed in shows while I went to UNLV and some after, before I got my job at SLA Publishing. But my uncertainty about my professional life didn’t apply to my personal life. “I don’t love him…” Then I quickly added, “Not the way I should.” Mark was a decent guy, good-looking, kind. We’d felt so comfortable from day one, which was probably why we grew close so quickly. But from that first day, there was something missing. Something I knew existed because I’d felt it before. It was powerful and amazing and addicting, and it also hurt like hell because I could never truly have it. But that was what I wanted. I wanted it all.

“Are you sure that’s it?” Dad said, his tone firm. “He didn’t do anything, did he?”

“No, Daddy. Nothing like that.” I held back the tears I felt fighting their way out. Tears that weren’t for what I had lost but for what my parents had lost. “I’m sorry if you’re disappointed.”

Mom rubbed my arms. “We only want you to be happy. And I’m so proud of you for knowing what you want and what you don’t want.” She took my face in her hands and gave me one of her dazzling smiles. “We’ll make the most of this visit. We can do whatever you want.” Her face lit up. “Oh, do you want to go to the hospital with me and hold some babies?” Mom was a dedicated RN, and I was always so proud of her.

I laughed and covered my mom’s hands with mine. “That sounds nice, actually. But I have more to tell you. ”

Mom took a step back. “Oh?”

A knot formed in my stomach at the looks on their faces. I hated how much they worried about me. I was twenty-eight, and they still saw me as their little girl. “I’m moving back home.” I realized how that sounded when it came out. “I mean not home home, although I might need to stay here while Gunnar and I look for our own place.”

“Gunnar?” Dad practically shouted. “The naked guy?”

“Dad!” I whined. I met Gunnar doing shows in Vegas, one of which just happened to be burlesque. Gunnar prides himself on his physique. “He wasn’t totally naked.”

Mom ignored the whole Gunnar issue and said, “Are you quitting your job?”

“I was going to, but they said I could work remotely while I figure out what I want to do.”

“Is that why you don’t want to marry Mark?” Mom sounded concerned.

“I thought he was gay,” Dad said.

“Mark?”

“No, Gunnar.” Hands on his hips, Dad blew out a breath.

“Dad, he’s not gay. He’s fluid…and pansexual.”

He backed away to the kitchen, then. “You’re throwing a lot of stuff at us, honey. Can I get the Cliff Notes.”

“People don’t use Cliff Notes anymore. You do know how to use Google, right?”

Mom folded her arms. “You know what he means.”

I sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. One, I’m moving back to Ladera Ranch because I want a fresh start. I had a great experience in Vegas, but it’s no longer the place for me. And Mark isn’t the man for me. Gunnar and I have a lot in common.” Upon seeing both their expressions, I said, “What? I don’t mean that. And for Gunnar, he just likes people and doesn’t concern himself with anything but an earthy connection. He asked if he could come with me, and I was actually really excited to do this with him.” So, please don’t ruin it. “Anyway, if you guys don’t want us here, we can—”

“Of course, we do, honey.” Mom rubbed my shoulder, then shot a glare over to my dad. “Don’t we, Denny?”

“Sure. Just tell him to keep his clothes on.”

I gave my parents a tight smile. “It won’t be for long. I promise. And thank you for understanding. I’ll tell you more later, but I think I’m all talked out.”

“We’re sorry about Mark, sweetheart,” Dad said.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He liked Mark, and I knew both my parents wanted their children to have long and happy marriages like they did. My parents had married right out of high school, and yet they waited ten years to have kids so they could spend time just loving each other. “I’ll go back and get my stuff at some point after your party.” I hugged my parents. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Before I got in, I checked my phone, which I hadn’t realized had died sometime last night. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a missed call from Alex. Could he have known I was back home? I hadn’t even told Sammy. I checked my voicemails and texts. Nothing . Disappointment filled my gut. At least I’d see him Saturday night at my parents’ anniversary party in San Diego. We had a lot to talk about, but some of it I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready to tell him. Most of all, I hoped he didn’t hate me for what I’d done.

***

Walking into The Cozy Crumb, the first thing I saw was Sammy and little Dax at a table in the corner with a full-on setup of coloring books, toys, and snacks. My four-year-old nephew did a double take when he saw me, even though I visited often, and we face-timed regularly. When he realized it was his Auntie Ava, he dashed from his chair, sprinted over to me, and took a flying leap into my arms.

“Auntie Ava!”

What magic little ones had to put things into perspective and lift you up when you needed it. “Hey, little man! How are you?” I swung him around, then carried him back over to his dad.

Sammy stood when I set Dax down and gave me his usual side hug. Sammy was your typical overprotective brother but minus any affection. He showed his feelings with humor and sarcasm. “Hey, Sis.”

“Looks like you’ve got your own little day care set up here.”

“Pretty much.”

Just then Cass came from behind the counter. She and Sammy owned the bakery and split work and child care duties. “Ava! My favorite sister…”

I laughed when she hugged me because Cass had four sisters of her own, but she always told me I was her favorite and never used the term sister-in-law. I was sure she loved them just as much if not more, but she was the type of person to make everyone feel special. “Great to see you, Cass.”

When she pulled back, she gave a look similar to the one my dad had given me that morning. I will kill them .

“Listen,” Cass said when the bell for the door dinged and someone walked in. “Everything your mom wanted is boxed up in the back and ready to go.” She waved in that direction as she and the customer headed to the counter, with Dax following. Cass was also crafty and offered to make the party-favors for my parents’ fortieth anniversary party.

“Great,” I said, relieved I didn’t have to talk about the elephant in the room. I couldn’t believe my parents told Sammy that Mark was going to propose. Unless Mark had told Sammy ? Either way, it put me in another uncomfortable situation. Then again, it wasn’t like I could avoid telling people we broke up, considering he wouldn’t be at the party on Saturday.

I set my purse and phone down on the table and was about to head to the back when the bell rang again. Instinctively, my gaze went to the door, and I locked eyes with the man coming through it. Just like every damn time, he took my breath away. Light blue eyes against a backdrop of honey-colored skin and jet-black hair, thick and wavy. I knew I’d see Alex at the party, but I wasn’t prepared for this so soon.

Walking toward me, he never pulled his gaze away—not even when he stopped right in front of me. “Ava…”

That one word—in his deep silky tone—paralyzed me. We just stared at each other for what felt like way too long for the audience of people who knew us. Snapping out of it, I steeled myself and managed to offer an awkward hug. “Alex… I didn’t expect to see you here.”

One side of his mouth curled up, as if he were delighted that my voice shook. “I’m here all the time.” Though Sammy and Alex lived very different lives, nothing ever touched their bond. And the biggest thing they had in common was me. Those two were like a little mafia, Sammy being the head and Alex the muscle. If a guy had even looked at me sideways, well… Dating wasn’t easy.

“Uncle Alex!” Dax screamed from across the room. Then he proceeded to give Alex the same greeting he gave me.

Traitor .

When Alex set him down, Dax asked, “Are you here to play wiff me, Uncle Alex?”

His eyes darted to mine for only a beat before he looked away, allowing Dax to take him by the hand to the table. “No, I just stopped by to see if I can do anything for the party.”

“I want to go!” Dax whined.

“I’m sorry, buddy. It’s a grownup party. You’re going to stay in the hotel room with Aunt Sadie and her kids.”

Sadie was probably the only sister of Cass’s that Alex hadn’t slept with, and that thought sat in my gut like a ton of bricks. Everyone knew Alex was a player, so why was it I couldn’t function like a normal person around him? Why the hell would I want to be another cog in the machine that kept Alex’s bed warm? The truth was there was a side to Alex most didn’t see. A side that spoke to me and made me feel like I was the only one who truly knew him.

“Why don’t you help Ava?” Sammy said. “There’s a couple boxes in the back you can both carry to her car.”

“Sure thing,” Alex said before giving me a head nod and then taking off toward the back.

Wordlessly, I followed in his wake, admiring the slight stretch of his dark-gray business jacket across his broad shoulders. We each grabbed a box and made our way out to the street where I’d parked Dad’s SUV.

As we loaded the boxes into the back, I filled the silence. “I got a missed call from you last night…”

We faced each other, and my pulse quickened at what I saw in his eyes. I couldn’t exactly place it but it wasn’t anything pleasant. I could always tell when something was wrong, though.

“Yeah… I, uh, just wanted to offer up my help, for the party.” He rubbed a hand over his jaw.

“You knew I was already here?”

He nodded. “Sammy told me.”

More staring. More silence. It hadn’t always been like this between us. Sometimes we’d felt close…too close. Then one of us would back away. Sometimes the sexual tension was off the charts. But this… It was like a game of chess but neither of us knew the moves.

“How’s Mark? ”

My eyes widened for just a beat, and I swallowed. “He…” Tell him . If anything he should be happy. Sammy and Alex always seemed to celebrate my breakups. Meanwhile, Alex never had them—because he never kept a relationship going.

Seconds ticked by, and then Alex’s phone rang. He yanked it out like he was a gunslinger at a showdown. Looking at the screen, he said, “I’m sorry, I have to take this.” As he stepped onto the curb, he turned with a tight smile and said a quick, “I’m happy for you, Ava, really.” Then he walked away.

Son of a bitch . He thought I was engaged.