We Never Kissed

Chapter 8

Ava

Four Years Ago

It was a little after two in the morning, when I raced down the hall of the hospital and fell into Alex’s arms. Without heels on, my five-foot-five frame practically disappeared within his six-foot-two stature, with his broad shoulders and solid chest. All the panic and worry that had built-up on the plane flight over, as well as the subsequent cab ride, was still present, but I no longer felt alone in my worry. Just the feel of Alex’s body against mine comforted me in a way I knew no one else could.

When we pulled away, I saw the wetness from my tears on his dress shirt. “Any news?” I asked.

“They’re both still in recovery. Your brother is with Cass—she’s still unconscious—and the baby is in the NICU with your mom, so he’s well taken care of.”

Cass had been just three weeks shy of her due date when she was in a car accident. The seatbelt and airbag that were designed to save your life proved detrimental to both her and the baby. Cass was unconscious, so the baby was delivered by C-section.

“Where is everyone else?”

“Elsie and Sadie went to get food, and your dad went home to change and let out the dog. I told your parents to get some rest, but you know them. I said I’d wait here for you, though.” He guided me toward some chairs in a seating area, but I stopped short before we sat.

“No, I can’t sit. That’s all I’ve been doing.” I shook my head. “If I can’t see anyone, I need to keep moving.”

“We can wander around the halls, get some stale coffee?” He glanced around and then hurried to add, “Actually, this place is depressing. Let’s go outside. It’s a little chilly, but they have a nice garden area.”

We headed down the hall and toward the exit. “Wait,” I said, stopping and turning to him. “What about you? Do you want to go home? You’ve been here all night, right?”

“I’m fine. I don’t need anything.” He gave me a tight smile and a brave face.

“You have work tomorrow, though.” Alex was only a couple years in at his investment banking firm, where he’d interned while getting his MBA. Rising to the top was his singular focus, and from what Sammy had told me, he was not only their rookie of the year but quickly becoming one of their greatest assets.

“Ava, this is my family, too, and I’m not leaving until I know they are both all right.”

My eyes glossed over then, not only from the promise that left me speechless but at thinking about the prospect of losing either one of them.

“Oh, God, Ava. I didn’t mean… They’re both going to be fine. I know they will.” His arm slid around my shoulders as we left the building and walked onto the dimly lit pathway that wound around the hospital.

Alex kept me distracted by asking me questions about the show I was in, how long I would keep dancing, and about my new boyfriend, Mark. Surprisingly, he didn’t give me his usual third degree about a guy I was dating, but instead of being relieved, I felt disappointment wash over me.

We checked our phones constantly as we walked, and eventually, found a bench to sit on. I didn’t hesitate to lean against his strong shoulder and accept the comfort he offered. At some point, I must have dozed off because both of our phones pinging startled me. Glancing at the time, I saw I’d been out for almost two hours while Alex held me.

We both read the group message from Sammy, alerting us Cass was not only awake but out of the woods. Little Dax’s vitals were strong, and there was a picture attached. A sob of release shot from me. “Thank you, God,” I whispered as Alex pulled me into a hug. For some reason, I was crying harder than when I got there.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex whispered against my hair, one hand behind my head, the other pressed into my lower back.

So many emotions combined with the fact that being this close to Alex was both overwhelming and comforting. I allowed myself a few more minutes before I reined myself in. When we pulled apart enough that I could look him in the eye, I said, “I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot. This is wonderful news.”

“Stop it. You’ve had a long night, Ava. You’re entitled.”

I gave him a heartfelt, “Thank you” and then before I could stop myself, “I don’t know what I would have done without you—”

“Don’t… Please, don’t make me out to be something I’m not.” Guilt laced his tone.

“How can you say that? I don’t know why you do that to yourself, Alex. You’re an amazing man…”

He pinned me with his dark gaze, drawing me in. We stayed that way, our breathing heavy, for several long beats. His thumb brushed the wetness from my cheek before both hands took hold of my face. “God, Ava, why…”

His words barely registered. I couldn’t make sense of them with how intensely he stared at me. My heart felt like it was going to explode. “What…?”

He still had ahold of my face, and he pulled me closer, leaned down until his lips were a breath away. “I’ve tried so hard, Ava. Dammit, I’ve tried…”

When his lips brushed against mine, I gasped and pulled back, my gaze narrowing on him. “Are you fucking serious right now?” All the times I dreamed of kissing this man, and he does this now …when I’d just entered a serious relationship, and I was still reeling from Cass’s accident. I rose from the bench, steeling myself so I wouldn’t start crying again. “I have to go…”

Alex didn’t try to stop me, didn’t say a word. Thankfully, mine and Cass’s family members filled the waiting room, and even when we visited Cass, Sammy, at least, was in the room. I stayed until the sun rose, and with a heavy heart at not being able to hold my new nephew yet, I arranged for my flight back.

I was in line at the security check when I heard my name being called. I turned to find Alex speed-walking toward me. “Is everyone okay?” I said in a rush before he even reached me.

“Fine. Everyone is fine.” He paused a moment to catch his breath, as if he’d run all the way from the parking lot. Then he surveyed our surroundings. I was in line between a teenage girl and a couple speaking what sounded like Dutch. I wasn’t about to get out of line so whatever he came to say would have an audience.

“I fucked up?” he said, one hand in his pocket, the other roughing through his messy head of thick hair. “I know you’re pissed at me, and you have every right to—”

“Don’t tell me about my feelings, Alex. You can’t even manage your own.”

The woman must have known some English because I caught a smirk before she turned away.

“I know.” He shook his head, his face wrecked in desperation. “It can’t be shitty between us, Ava. Please, just say you forgive me so things can go back to the way they were.”

Yeah, because things were so freaking great before . What choice did I have? Alex was part of our family. He was Sammy’s best friend. We all had history you don’t just forget about and move on. I pulled my lips under my teeth and stared at him. Dammit , I couldn’t lose this man no matter what was or wasn’t between us. So, I said the only thing I could. “Okay.”