We Never Kissed

Chapter 18

Ava

My heart lodged in my throat as I watched Alex in a lip lock with some other woman. The logical side of my mind immediately jumped in. You guys never specifically discussed being exclusive . But then the emotional side bitch-slapped logic. Bullshit, we were exclusive the moment we kissed . It was unspoken but no less real. Plus, there was that Jessica incident, and he assured me I was the only one he wanted.

I felt the sting of tears threaten my eyes, and it sent a current of panic through me. Of course I didn’t want Alex to see me crying over him, but more importantly, Sammy, who had been sitting across from me, was now next to me and seeing the same thing I was. He’d know about Alex and me if he saw how upset this made me.

Gunnar had been trying to navigate an opening to the bar so he didn’t see the kiss. A small relief.

I reached for my water just as the two of them pulled apart. Watching them over my glass, I studied their mouths, wishing I could make out what they were saying.

“Mom says Alex is seeing someone,” Sammy said, leaning in. “I wonder if that’s her and why the hell he didn’t tell me.”

I shrugged, steeling myself. “Who knows… Who freaking cares.” I internally winced at that last part, hearing a twinge of hostility in my tone.

“Hey…we’ve never really talked about it, but I know you’ve sort of had a crush on Alex all these years.”

I whipped my head around to face him. “Shut up. I never had a crush on Alex.” Wow, defensive much?

“Okay, liar.”

Why is everyone saying that to me today ? I held his gaze, hoping he couldn’t see the truth.

“Look, I don’t care, and I get it. It’s not like every girl I’ve ever known hasn’t had a crush on Alex, but you’re my sister, and now that you’re living here again, well, I hope you meet someone…” The “else” was conveniently left off.

“Right now I’m just worrying about getting settled and figuring out what I want to do with my life.” Not totally a lie, but it still tasted off.

He sighed. “You’ll get there, little sis.” Then, just when I thought he’d let it drop, he added, “It’s probably good that you and Alex never got together, though.”

“Why do you say that?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“I just don’t think he’s the commitment type.” I glanced at him then, and he head-gestured over to Alex. “You know what I mean?”

Alex appeared nervous now, still talking to the blond woman, but I caught his eyes darting in our direction. Anger and frustration built back up in me—at Alex and at Sammy. Once again, I couldn’t let it go, saying, “People do change.”

“He’s my best friend, but I don’t know… I love the guy, but there’s some issues there. We both know. And he won’t talk to me…”

“His mom…” I said it under my breath, the thing that could tear Alex and me apart.

“Yeah… His parents did a number on him.”

I couldn’t stand listening to any of it any longer. “I need to use the restroom.” I pushed from my chair and caught Alex’s gaze. Maybe I was imagining it, but I thought I saw guilt and frustration in his eyes. Darting mine away, I headed to the back of the bar, my heart racing for more than one reason. As mad as I was at Alex, my heart broke for him whenever the topic of his parents came up. That was another scary thought I wasn’t ready to face. My feelings for the man. He’d had my heart for so long it was like our relationship fast forwarded, even though it had only started.

I entered the bathroom and went right to the sink to see if I looked all right. My eyes were a little red, but that wasn’t uncommon in a bar. I snatched a paper towel and dabbed at one eye, swallowing back a lump in my throat. I dreaded going back out there, facing Alex, acting like everything was fine.

The door popped open as I dabbed my other eye one last time, and in the mirror I locked eyes with “the blonde.” As if she were in there specifically for me, she came up right beside me. “Hey… Got something in your eye?”

Taking a slight pause, I replied, “Yeah, wing sauce I think. Didn’t realize when I touched my eye.” I tried to manage a smile, but just the sight of her flawless skin and huge blue eyes, picturing her plump lips on Alex’s, set my skin on fire.

“Look, Ava…”

My mouth flew open. “How do you know my name?”

She tilted her head with her brows raised, as if the answer were obvious. “I’m Lauren, by the way.”

Tossing the paper towel into the trash, I said, “Nice to meet you.” Then I moved to the door, but her words stopped me.

“That kiss was nothing…”

I turned a glare on her. “Excuse me?”

“Please don’t be upset with Alex.” Genuine remorse showed on her face.

I shook my head. “Alex can do whatever he pleases.”

“This was my fault. The guy’s crazy about you, and I just want—”

“Wait, what?” Stepping back over to her, I continued, “Why do you know about me and if you do, why the hell would you kiss Alex?” I folded my arms over my chest.

When she sighed, I figured out part of the story. “You guys dated, right?”

“Dated? No. We had one date, and he talked about you the whole time.”

I couldn’t hold back the small grin that formed on my face.

Lauren closed the distance between us, then surprised me by touching my arm. “And the only reason I kissed him was because some creepy dude kept hitting on me, and it was really making me nervous. I saw Alex and just…reacted. But it worked. I hope you understand.”

With a nod, I said, “I do.” My whole body relaxed then. “Thank you for coming and telling me.”

She gave me a single nod. “Well, I’ve gotta run… ”

Her sweet smile made me feel a little guilty for how I reacted, but all I could think to say was, “Bye.”

Sammy left pretty soon after I emerged from the bathroom and Alex, Gunnar, and I didn’t address the elephant in the room as we drank our beers. I almost felt bad for Alex as he watched me carefully and seemed to examine my every move, as if I were a difficult puzzle to solve.

When we walked to our cars, Alex took my hand, saying, “I need to talk to you” before dragging me over to his Mercedes.

I let him pull me, holding up a finger to Gunnar, who shouted back sarcastically, “Sure, I don’t mind sitting around waiting…”

I thought about making him squirm, but we didn’t have time or room in this relationship for playing games, especially when we couldn’t be free to be together. “Alex, it’s okay…”

As if I hadn’t said a word, he gripped the back of my head and pinned me with a desperate glare. “That wasn’t me, Ava. Lauren, she—”

Reaching up on my toes, I pressed my mouth to his. I’d meant it to be a reassuring, sweet kiss, but Alex turned it into something fierce, pulling me hard against his body and pouring out his pent-up frustration on me. The result was my blood pumping overtime and my body heating at his relentless need for me.

We pulled away, both breathless, but kept our faces only inches apart. He dipped his forehead against mine and before he could say anything, I said, “Lauren found me in the bathroom, told me what happened.”

Nipping at my lip he said, “I can’t stand this…being away from you, not being able to hold you, reassure you when I need to.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“That’s why I’m taking you away. We need to get out of this town and spend some time together. Alone.”